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Modern Family S02E13

Part 3 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:08 p.m.

我就说不想撞到
And I was all, "Someone who doesn't want to see
自己父母嘿♥咻♥的人
their parents doing it.
所以我们才敲门
That's why we knocked".
当然这还要修改一下
Again, this is -- this is very rough.
他们怎么还在楼上
Why are they still up there?
嘿♥咻♥一般要多久
How long does sex take?
天呐不要说了
Oh, my god. Stop talking.
你们俩注意到了吗
Did you guys notice
老爸刚才的表情就像是
that dad had the same look on his face
看到了一款新车一样
as when he smells a new car?
我要离开
I need to leave.
我要去露营
I need to go to camp.
他们下来的时候肯定会很尴尬
This is gonna be so weird when they come down.
我们走吧好吗走吧
Let's just go. Okay? Come on.
等等我饿了
Wait. But I'm hungry.
我们去买♥♥早餐走吧快走
We'll get breakfast. Let's just go. Come on!
走啊快走
Let's go. Come on.
你们要去哪
Where are you going?
哪都行
Anywhere.
你妈妈在哪我要跟她谈谈
Where is your mother? I need to talk to her.
我觉得这个时机不太合适
I don't think it's a good time right now.
她待在房♥间里不出来
She won't come out of her room.
她很郁闷对吧
She's really upset, isn't she?
超郁闷
Big time.
你们怎么知道的
How'd you know?
我们打过电♥话♥来
We called.
告诉我她到底是怎么说的
Tell me exactly what she said.
我不知道就听到她一直在叫
I don't know. There was just a lot of screaming.
发生这些事时你♥爸♥爸在哪
Where was your father when all this was going on?
他就在她身后
Oh, he was right behind her.
擦不掉擦不掉
Oh! It's not coming out! It's not coming out!
要吸干那些果汁不要擦要吸
Blot! Don't rub! Blot!
我们已经过了吸污和抹擦的阶段了
We are beyond blotting and rubbing.
就等着一身大汗和痛哭流涕了
I think we've moved on to sweating and crying.
好了好了不要慌
Okay, okay. Let's not panic.
我们就对艾米莉亚实话实说
We'll just -- we'll tell Amelia what happened,
然后由我们负担清洗费
and then we'll pay to have it cleaned.
米奇尔万一这个洗不掉怎么办
What if it can't be cleaned, Mitchell?!
好吧那我们就赔她一块新的地毯
Okay, okay. Then we'll pay for a new rug.
你疯了吧
Are you insane?
这是限♥量♥版手工制♥作♥的羊驼呢地毯
This is a limited-edition alpaca hand-made stark rug!
我在《建筑学文摘》中看到过
I saw it in Architectural Digest.
一块卖♥♥5万美元戴安·基顿家里也有一块
It cost $50,000. It was in Diane Keaton's house.
戴安·基顿美国著名女演员
不是是那个那个叫什么名字
Oh, no, it was in, oh, what's-her-name's house.
她演过《普里兹家族的荣誉》
Um, from "Prizzi's Honor".
还有这个这个《阿达一族》
From -- uh, oh, oh, she was in "Addams Family".
你知道的还有
You know, she --
是安耶利卡·休斯顿
Anjelica Huston!
对对对
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
天哪一块地毯卖♥♥五万美金
Oh! Oh, my god. $50,000 for a rug?!
小卡我们哪有那么多钱
Cam, we don't have that kind of money.
也许她不会让我们赔
Maybe she won't make us pay.
想想看假如有人弄脏了我们的地毯
I mean, we wouldn't make someone pay
我们也不会让人家赔的
if this happened to us.
你没听见她在电♥话♥里说的话吗
Did you not hear her on the phone?
给我修好它换掉它开赔款支票给我
"Fix it. Replace it. Write me a check".
她可能已经把这句话绣到枕头上了
She probably has that embroidered on a pillow.
旁边就放了一罐人耳朵
Right next to a jar of human tears.
也许我们可以把它转一下[还有“逆转形势”的意思]
Maybe we can turn this around.
怎么弄看上去就像有人在这流血了一样
How? It looks like someone bled out over here.
不我说的是地毯
No. I mean the rug.
也许我们可以把整张地毯转一圈
Maybe we can turn the whole rug around,
把这块污渍放到沙发底下
put it under the couch.
明白了吧没人会发觉的
See? No one would ever know it's there.
天知地知你知我知
Well, you know, we would know.
那么
Well...
你在想什么
What are you thinking?
你不会想知道的
You don't want to know.
不说来听听吧因为我
No, tell me, 'cause I'm --
我觉得我们想得一样
I think I'm thinking the same thing.
我深表怀疑
I seriously doubt that,
因为我在想刚才那个应该是琼·柯林斯[美国女演员]家
because now I'm thinking it was Joan Collins' house.
好吧
Okay.
很好
Great.
歌♥洛莉亚你你来干吗
Gloria, what are you -- what are you doing here?
慢着孩子们呢
Wait, where are the kids?
他们刚刚出去了
They just left.
他们跟我说你很郁闷
They told me that you were very upset.
-天哪 -你完全有权郁闷
- Oh, god. -And you have every right to be.
这件事太可怕了
It was bad.
我知道
I know that.
克莱尔这只是个意外
Claire, it was an accident.
那也无法改变它所造成的伤害
That doesn't make it any better.
好吧你说的没错我了解你的感受
Okay, you're right. I know how you feel.
-天哪 -我也曾遇到过这样的事
- Oh, god. - It happened to me before,
不过是和另外一个女人
with another woman.
而且那次我是受害者["被上的那个"]
And that time, I was the one getting it.
那感觉真的很难过[真的很疼]
And it hurt.
很抱歉我如此直白
I'm sorry it had to come out like this,
但是你还是得承认
but you have to admit that you're only happy
被理解为 "只有当你拿着鞭子的时候才会觉得开心"
只有当你是主导者的时候才会觉得开心
when you're the one cracking the whip.
你说啥
What?
别装了
Come on.
我们都知道菲尔是个妻管严
We all know how you ride Phil.
被理解为 "我们都知道你俩喜欢女上式"
但是如果你能看开一点
But maybe if you just let go a little,
或许试着尝尝我的纸杯蛋糕["咪♥咪♥"]
maybe even taste my cupcakes,
这两句他们理解成了3P
我就会跟你一起参加糕饼义卖♥♥[我可以跟你们一起做]
I will join you.
使使使不得
No -- unh-unh. No. No.
我我完全迷糊了
I-I am so confused right now.
我快晕过去了
I may pass out.
你在说什么呢
What are you talking about?
你又是在说什么
What are you talking about?
刚刚孩子们走进卧室
The kids just walked in on
看到我和菲尔在床上那个
me and Phil I-in bed.
我们刚才在卧室里
And we've just spent the last hour
窝了一个小时
holed up in our room
考虑该跟孩子们说什么
trying to figure out what to say to them.
我刚才说的就是这个
That's what I'm talking about.
可以用下你的电脑吗我要查一下邮件
Can I use your computer? I just need to check one e-mail.
可以电脑在厨房♥里
Yeah, the kitchen.
歌♥洛莉亚我刚才换了下一个航♥班♥
Gloria, I just switched us to the next flight.
你们的事情都解决了吧
Now, did you guys get everything straightened out?
克莱尔心情不好
Claire is very upset
因为他们嘿♥咻♥的时候被孩子撞见了
because the kids just walk in on them having sex.
天啊
Aw, geez.
好了现在大家都知道了
Oh, then we're all up to speed.
她心情糟糕到没时间
She's so upset that she hasn't even had time
化妆和开电脑了
to apply her make-up or use her computer.
你们来这儿干什么老爸
W-what are you even doing here, dad?
我觉得站在你的立场上
I don't think you should be the one
你没权利质问我了
doing the questioning here, missy.
干吗生她的气
Don't get mad at her.
你老婆刚才还要给我们吃她做的纸杯蛋糕呢
Your wife's the one who just offered up her cupcakes.
你老婆刚才还要加入我们呢
菲尔
Phil.
还好我们带了老妈的加油卡
Good thing we had mom's gas card.
不要让我后悔给你买♥♥了打火机
Don't make me regret buying you that lighter, dude.
收起来
Put it down.
好吧我憋不住了