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Modern Family S02E20

Part 3 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:09 p.m.

但是说实话有时候我有点搞不懂
but, honestly, sometimes I wonder about him.
-妈你看我 -你在干嘛
- Hey, mom, check it out. - What are you doing?
如果我头摇得够快
If I move my head fast enough,
这罐子看起来就像静止了一样
it looks like the can is standing still.
他说得太对了
He's totally right!
真有意思你以前把你从做恶梦
I just find it interesting that you blame Jay
到膀胱害羞症这些事情都归咎于你老爹
for everything from your night terrors to your shy bladder,
现在他又成了莉莉最合适的监护人
And now he's the perfect guardian for Lily.
我没说最合适还有
No, not perfect, and -- and
我从来没提到过我的膀胱害羞症
I never said anything about my shy bladder.
那为什么在派珀的三面元旦派对上
O-oh. Then why did I have to stand guard outside the bathroom
The Three Faces of Eve 《三面夏娃》美国电影派珀喜欢开主题派对
我得站在厕所外面放哨呢
at Pepper's three faces of new year's eve party?
给点力曼尼快爬快
Damn it, Manny! Move it! Go!
好吓人啊
It's scary.
你才离地两英尺
You're 2 feet off the ground.
藤蔓爬墙都比你快
I've seen vines climb walls faster than that.
赶紧给我爬
Move your butt!
这就是曾经让你树立自信的老爸
Oh, well, there's your esteem-building parent right there.
等等我觉得我听见未来的莉莉
Wait, wait, I think I hear future Lily
在脱衣舞钢管上面给我发来信息
sending us a message from her stripper pole --
"感谢已故的同性恋爸爸们
"Thanks, gay dead dads.
这舞是给你们跳的"
This dance is for you."
打扰一下杰
Excuse me, Jay?
我想下来
I'm getting down.
等你爬到顶了再说什么事
Not till you touch the top! What is it?
如果我们不这么强迫曼尼
Well, maybe if we didn't bully Manny so much,
而是演示给他看
but, rather, showed him,
他可能就不会那么害怕
he wouldn't be so afraid.
打扰一下夏尔巴人能帮我系上吗
Excuse me, Sherpa, can you assist me with the harness?
天啊我的驾驶机器在哪里
Oh, no. Which one of these is my driving machine?
菲尔我已经道歉了
Phil, I already apologized.
那是无意识脱口而出的
It just -- it came out wrong.
真有趣我还以为是我的问题呢
Funny, I thought that was my problem --
我出来错了
I came out wrong.
等下
Hold on.
很好我又能走路了
Oh, good, I can walk again.
亲爱的有时候你能表现得稍微
Honey, you know, sometimes you can act a little bit --
天啊大家都去哪了
Oh, no! Where did everyone go?!
一眨眼就不见了
Oh, just a blink.
菲尔
Phil,
当你准备好像个成人一样跟我谈的时候
when you are ready to talk to me like an adult,
知会我一声好吗
why don't you let me know?
好的行了行了
Fine. Okay, okay.
成人是指那些"大"的人对吧
The adults are the big ones, right?
你认为那是怎么挂上去的
Hey, how do you think that got up there?
我知道这看起来让人龟缩
Now, I know it seems daunting,
曼尼但是这其实很简单
Manny, but it's very simple.
我安全地拴在绳子上
I'm securely hitched to a rope,
也就是说我不会掉下来
which means I'm not going to fall.
爸爸你让我的日子
You know, dad, you're really making
-现在变得真不好过 -怎么说
- my life difficult right now.- How?
当我试着说服小卡
By barking at Manny like a drill sergeant
你会是莉莉很好的监护人时
when I'm trying to convince Cam
你却像教官一样地训曼尼
that you'd be a great guardian for lily.
-监护人 -没错
- Guardian? - Yeah.
你开什么玩笑
You're kidding.
杰
Jay!
算了当我没说过
Yeah, never mind.
这真的很痛
That really hurt!
这是一个错误
This is a mistake.
为什么她要不停的说这句话
Why does she keep saying that?
因为这是她第一次听到"错误"这个词儿
Because they're the first words she ever heard.
给你你先来
Here, you go first.
给这个荡♥妇♥一个教训
This will teach that Skank a lesson.
往她的置物柜中挤奶油
Shaving cream in her locker?
你就站在那儿把风有人来了就叫
Just stand over there and yell if someone's coming.
她那里可能有还没
She might have homework assignments in there
交上去的作业
she hasn't handed in yet.
海莉
Haley!
-有人来了 -快跑
- Someone's coming! - Run!
-这边这边 -好的好的好的
- This way, this way! - Okay, okay, okay!
-我们在哪 -男生置物间
- Where are we? - Boys' locker room.
闻起来有股脚臭味
It smells like feet.
这可不是脚臭好的来这边
That's not feet. Okay. Come here.
我很害怕
I'm so scared.
想想那些能令你开心的地方
Just go to your happy place.
刚搞破坏的就是能令我开心的地方
We just broke into my happy place.
谁在哪
Who's there?
走走跑跑
Go, go, run, run!
不要这么大声快跑快跑
Not so loud! Run! Run!
你怎么样了
So, how you doing?
不好我很庆幸我的小丑训练课程
Oh, not good. I'm just glad my clown training
让我懂得如何栽跟头
prepared me to take a fall like that.
很好你以后肯定会对这事喋喋不休
Yeah, and in terms of talking about it,
你是打算说上几周呢还是几个月呢
Are we looking at weeks, months?
不要小看它造成的伤害
Do not minimize it, you,
你上次穿木屐滑到
who I had to rush to the emergency room
居然要我跑到急诊室看你
that time you fell out of your clogs.
这是你要的柠檬气泡水
There's your bubbly water with lemon.
谢谢你杰
Thank you, Jay.
你怎么样了
How you doin'?
很难说
Oh, it's hard to tell.
一旦你的腰部
You know, anytime you have
出现了重大损伤
a catastrophic injury to your lumbar area --
你要算有腰一族那我肯定是水蛇腰了
I could use a little piece of lumbar myself right now.
现在让我的家人当莉莉的监护人
Well, I hope you're comfortable now
你不会有异议了吧
making my family Lily's guardians.
你好你好
HOLA, HOLA!
你忘了还有歌♥洛莉亚
You're forgetting about Gloria.
你得承认她和莉莉相处的很不错
Even you have to admit how amazing she is with Lily.
谁家的女儿这么漂亮啊
Mm! Look who's so pretty!
天啊
Oh, my god!
歌♥洛莉亚你做了什么
Gloria, what did you do?
我跟你说过了啊
What I told you.
你给她穿了耳洞
You pierced her ears?!
我说过
What I said --
我要用耳环把她点缀得更漂亮
I was going to make her pretty with earrings.
我以为你说的是"发环"
I thought you said "Hair rings."
发环是什么
What are hair rings?
是的米奇尔什么是发环
Yes, Mitchell, what are hair rings?
某种能把头发系在后面
Something that you would tie your hair back --
她是这么说的
she said it!
我没有说"发环" 我说的"耳环"
I didn't say "Hair rings." I said "Earrings."
你不喜欢吗
You don't like?
当然不你带我们的女儿去打洞
Of course not. You punctured our daughter!
但你看两边了吗
But did you see both sides?
除了同志专用耳我另外一只也打了
I didn't just do the gay ear.
瞧
Look.
天啊
Oh, my god.
天啊
Oh, my God.
我觉得咱们逃过一劫了
I actually -- I think we're good.
我们在这里等盖比好吗
Let's just wait in here for Gabby, okay?
天我真不敢相信我们刚做了什么
Oh, my god! I can't believe we just did that.
你能相信刚才我们这么做了吗
Can you believe we just did that?
是的我们玩的很开心用不着大惊小怪
Yeah, we had a lot of fun. Let's not geek it up.
等等如果我爱上这种感觉了怎么办
Wait. What if I have a taste for it now?
我会不会开始一直做这种事情
Am I gonna start doing stuff like that all the time?
冷静点你只不过做了一件坏事
Calm down. You just did one bad thing.
两件
Two.
我还翘掉了今天的大提琴课