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Modern Family S02E02

Part 4 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:07 p.m.

你在公共场合也不善于表达感情
You had trouble showing affection in public places?
-对 -你吗 -是的
-Yes!- You? -Yes.
那是在你什么也没穿
Was that before or after
只穿着内衣披着警♥察♥局的毯子
you were delivered to my door in a squad car,
被巡逻车送到我门口之前还是之后
wearing nothing but your underwear and a police blanket?
天哪什么你进去过
Oh, my god. What? You were arrested?
-太给力了 -给什么力
-Awesome! - Not awesome.
我没有被逮捕
And I wasn't arrested.
你们外公只是在开玩笑
Your grandfather was just telling a joke.
玩笑吗我能讲N个呢
It was just a joke. I got a million of 'em.
爸爸
Dad.
我成功啦
I did it!
能打印了
It's printing!
我下载了新固件安装了新的驱动程序
I had to download new firmware, install new drivers,
改了你的加密♥码♥ 还在蒸笼似的阁楼上
change your encryption, and replace an ethernet cable
换了条以太网线缆
in a 100-degree attic,
一边还得防着点蜘蛛
while dodging particularly aggressive spiders,
但是我做到了
but I did it!
谢谢
Thanks.
喔看来就这样了
Oh. Okay. I guess that's it.
什么就怎么样了
What? What's it?
还不明白吗傻瓜
Wake up, dummy.
这就是我们说的
This is what we're talking about.
这家伙像白♥痴♥一样给你忙活了一天
This guy's been working like an imbecile all day for you.
我们还需要别的东西亲吻拥抱
People need something else -- kisses, hugs.
什么就为了修理个打印机吗
What, for fixing a printer?
也没什么只用了四个小时
Oh, it's fine. It was only four hours.
我让一个油漆桶绊倒了小吐了一下
I tipped over a paint can and threw up a little,
但是我想我想这句"谢谢"也够了
But I think -- I think "Thanks" about covers it.
是啊说"谢谢"怎么了
Well, what's wrong with "Thanks"?
爸爸这几乎是最低程度的感激了
It's pretty much the bare minimum, dad.
杰看在上帝份上说点什么
Jay, for god's sakes, just say something.
你想让我说点什么吗
You want me to say something?
那"欢迎你们"怎么样
How about "You're welcome"?
"我很高兴你们大家都能来"
How about "I'm -- I'm so happy to be here for you all
"所以我才能在这享受你们的碎碎念"吗
so I can take the blame for all your crap."
我做不来
I don't do this,
我从来也不做这个
I never did that.
相信我我给你们的已经比我父亲
Trust me, I gave you twice
给我的要多出一倍了
as much as my father ever gave me.
他一辈子就吻过我一次
The man kissed me one time in my entire life.
他走到我身后亲了下我的后脑勺
He came up behind me, kissed me on the back of the head,
对我说晚安贝奇
said, "Goodnight, Becky."
他竟然把我当成了我妹妹
He thought I was my sister.
等一下
Wait a minute.
你上次亲米奇是什么时候
When was the last time you kissed Mitch?
这都哪跟哪啊
What does that have to do with anything?
米奇他上次亲你是什么时候
Mitch, when was the last time he kissed you?
我记不得了
I-I don't remember.
-又没多久 -我12岁的时候
- It wasn't that long ago. - I was 12.
12岁这就是问题所在
12? This is the problem!
杰的老爸不亲杰
Jay's dad doesn't kiss Jay,
所以杰就不亲米奇从而导致米奇灰常保守
so Jay doe't kiss Mitch, and Mitch is uptight.
好了好了现在不是谈我保不保守的事
Okay, okay, "Uptight" was really not on the table.
我们是在谈亲吻
This is more about kissing.
杰亲吻你的儿子他简直一团糟
Jay, kiss your son. He's a mess.
不会吧现在吗
Oh, come on, now.
我们其实不必这么做的
We don't have to do that. It's...
-你要做 - 不
- Yes, you do. - No. - Come on.
快滴亲嘛孙辈们都看着呢
Come on, do it. You're in front of your grandchildren.
好吧好吧别吵了
All right, all right! Shut up!
米奇过来
Mitch, get over here.
什么现在吗我觉得太诡异了
W-what, now? Well, I feel weird now.
别扭扭捏捏的
Don't be coy.
你还等什么呢一盒巧克力吗
What are you waiting for, a box of chocolates?
过来亲亲
Let's do this.
这是我见过的最甜蜜的事了
That's the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
就这样我现在可不想再听到有人抱怨
All right, and now because I never want to hear this again.
到你了
You.
没你的事
Not you.
爸爸我爱你
Oh, daddy, I love you.
我们来吃圈圈肉吧
Let's go eat chunchullo!
那是用猪肠做的对吗
You know it's made of pig intestines, right?
艾丽克斯等一下
Alex, wait.
-怎么了 -我想和你谈谈
- What? - I want to talk to you.
妈妈我不想再听你的那些说教了
Mom, I don't want another lecture.
不是说教我想告诉你一些事情
It's not a lecture. I want to tell you something.
亲爱的我完全了解你现在的心情
Honey, I know exactly how you're feeling.
不你不了解
No, you don't.
好吧还记得今晚外公讲的那个笑话吗
Okay, the -- the joke that grandpa told tonight?
确确实有这么回事
That -- that happened.
那是真的
That...That was true.
这么说你真裸着被抓过
So, you were arrested naked?
我没裸
I wasn't naked!
而且我本身也没有被抓
And I was not arrested per se.
我只是有天晚上被警车送回家
I was driven home one night by the police
而这是因为我和我男友
because my boyfriend and I
没带泳衣
had gone swimming in somebody's pool,
就跑去别人的水池里游泳等等等等
and we didn't have bathing suits and -- blah, blah, blah.
细节不重要
The details aren't important.
关键在于学校里每个人都在谈论这件事
What matters is that everybody at school was talking about it.
我当时以为自己死定了
And I thought I would die.
不过这事儿也就这么过去了
But it passed.
我发誓
I swear.
而现在宝贝我很高兴有这么回事
And now, honey, I'm -- I'm glad it happened.
这让我在晚宴时有笑料可说
I've got a funny story to tell at dinner parties.
那你花了多久才觉得这事儿有趣的
So, how long did it take before you thought it was funny?
老天
Oh, god...
十到十五年吧
10, 15 years.
好极了我明天怎么办
Great. What do I do about tomorrow?
我认为你不需要担心这个
I don't think you have to worry about that.
去吧去吧
Go, go, go.
在哥伦比亚我们常常亲吻
In Colombia, we kiss for everything,
因为一个吻可以有辣么多涵义
because a kiss can mean so many different things.
这儿没鬼吧
There's no ghost in here, is there?
当然没
Not a chance.
睡个好觉孩子
Sleep easy, kid.
它可能素一个全新的开始
It can be the start of something new.
也可能素我们说"这是我的爱人"的方式
It can be how we say, "This is the person that I love."
谁吻功更高我还是你老爸
So who's a better kisser, me or your dad?
恶[与"你"音相近]
Ew.
也可能会很浪漫
It can be romantic.
只是想告诉你要是我朋友不在那儿的话
Just so you know, if my friends weren't there,
我会答应你的
I would've said yes.
所以要是你还愿意的话
So, if you still want to...
要是可以的话
If it's okay...
或许我们应该先多约会几次
Maybe we should hang out more first.
毕竟这是我们除了短♥信♥之外
This is only the second conversation we've had
第二次说话
that wasn't by text.
也可能会值得等待
It can also be worth waiting for.
杰这是什么
Jay, what is this?
不过是你耍我的时候
Just another nice thing I did for you
我为你做的另一件好事罢了
while you made a fool of me.
曼尼把你的小把戏都告诉我了
Manny let me in on your little tricks.
你现在不爽了吗
You feel bad now?
不我感觉灰常好
No. I feel good.
那照片绝对是我的最爱
That one is definitely my favorite.
菲尔你真的不必这么做
Phil, you really don't have to do this.
不我能做到我想这么做
No. I-I can do it. I wanna do it.
花钱请人来做这个真是太蠢了
It's silly to pay someone else just to do something --