我们的生活

This Is Us S05E13

Part 5 April 15, 2021, 9:59 a.m.

我不喜欢史泰龙的那个电影太暴♥力♥了
Oh, I hated that Stallone movie-- too violent.
你应该多演喜剧
You should be funny more.
像迪克·范·戴克和理查德·普赖尔那样
Like Dick Van Dyke and Richard Pryor.
好吧谢谢
All right, well, thank you.
我凭借那场表演赢得了金球奖提名
I had a Golden Globe nomination for that performance,
不过...
but, ah...
我去当小丑也行
I'll just be a clown.
-兰德尔 -兄弟...
- Randall? - Hey, man...
你是否想过其实...
do you ever consider the fact...
我被带到皮尔森家的那天
that me being brought home to the Pearson family
对我来说也不是快乐的一天
wasn't a perfect day for me, either?
我正是在那天失去了威廉和罗瑞尔
It was the day that I lost William and Laurel.
你从没想过这点吗
So you never think about that?
爸妈捡到我的那天
That the day Mom and Dad found me
也正是我失去亲生父母的日子
was also the day that I lost my own birth mother and birth father?
我觉得...
I think...
说吧老兄
Just say it, man.
你这话听着极其忘恩负义
I think you sound wildly ungrateful.
凭良心说爸妈救了你的命
Honestly. Mom and Dad saved your life.
你觉得我不知好歹吗我当然很感激
You think I'm not grateful for that? Of course I'm grateful.
而且我这一生都有人告诉我
And I have been told how grateful I should be
我有多幸运我应该多么感激
and how lucky I should feel my whole life, man.
如果有那么一瞬间我表现得不够感恩
And if, for a second, I don't act that way,
人们就会疯狂指责我
people come at me crazy,
-就像你现在一样 -你能怪他们吗
- like you are right now. - Can you blame 'em?
我像在坐牢凯文
It is a prison, Kevin,
自始至终每时每刻永远要感激
having to show gratitude, and nothing but gratitude,
除了感激还是感激
all the damn time.
我快窒息了
It's suffocating, man!
很抱歉我们让你窒息了兰德尔
Well, I'm so sorry that you feel suffocated, Randall.
我也遗憾你感觉被自己的家人困住了
I'm sorry that you feel trapped by your family.
你的白人家庭
Your white family.
该死我根本就不是这个意思
Damn it! That is not what I'm trying to say!
但你就是这么说的
That's what you did say.
我没...
I don't...
我也需要活动一下所以我决定
I needed to stretch, too, so I decided
从我的钟里走出来
to step out of my clock
稍微伸伸懒腰
and do a little stretch.
或许接下来我会看看书你喜欢看书吗
Maybe I'll read a book next. Do you like reading books?
喜欢
Yes.
书能激发我们的想象力对吗
They help us develop our imaginations, don't they?
你喜欢发挥想象力吗
Do you like using your imagination?
我有想象中的父母
I have imaginary parents.
没关系
Well, that's okay.
我们都有自己的假想亲人
We all have our own neighborhoods of make-believe.
兰德尔
Hey, Randall?
好了走吧
Come on, let's go.
过来
Come on.
走吧
Come on.
社区电车
我们整整找了一小时
I can't believe we looked for an hour,
而钥匙居然就在你的口袋里
and they were in your freaking pocket.
我脸上有伤吗
Do I have a bruise on my face?
没
Nah.
不过就算挂彩也只是给你
If something pops up, though, it'll give you
-加了点个性 -那倒是
- a little character. - Finally.
我在出租车里...
I got, uh... annoyed with you
-对你有点不耐烦... -嗯是我的错
- in the, the cab... - Yeah, I was being a dick.
我知道
I get it.
不...
No...
也对你对出租车司机确实很没礼貌
Well, yes. You were being rude to the cab driver.
而且是黑人司机
Th-The black cab driver?
其实我对所有出租车司机都没礼貌
Um, well, uh, I-I mean, i'm rude to all cabbies, man.
跟他们的肤色无关
It really doesn't matter what color they are.
你这话也太神经大条了
That's kind of an oblivious thing to say.
我没...我没那么想过兄弟
I-I don't, I don't see it that way, man.
我...
I...
知道你没有
know you don't.
我们聊点别的吧
Let's just talk about something else.
其实...
Look, man, um...
我只是想跟你痛快地玩一场
I was just trying to have a good time with you.
老实说...
I'm gonna be honest.
我在这边过得不太如意
Things have not been going so great for me out here.
怎么讲
What do you mean?
公♥寓♥墙上的那幅烂画...
The crap painting in my apartment...
是我画的
is mine.
是我的作品
I did it.
我画画是为了表达情绪
You know, I started painting to try to express my feelings.
我的表演老师觉得可能管用
My acting teacher, uh, thought it'd help.
我把所有试镜都搞砸了
I've been bombing all my auditions.
明早那场可能也会搞砸
I'm probably gonna bomb the one tomorrow morning.
而且...
And, um...
我的职业毫无进展
my career is nowhere.
而你应有尽有兰德尔
And you have everything, Randall.
贝丝
Beth.
光明的未来
Huge future.
我就是咱们家的败类对吗
I'm just, uh, the family failure, you know?
我没那么想过小凯
I don't see it that way, Kev.
我知道
I know you don't.
屋里有速食馅饼
Well, I got Hot Pockets inside
-想来点吗 -好
- if-if you want some. - Yeah.
手♥机♥在那
Phone's over there.
你真希望自己从没被领养吗
You really wish you were never adopted?
没那么简单
It's not that simple.
是啊
Yeah.
我记得你找到威廉时的情景
I remember when you found William.
那时我才意识到也许你想要些不同的东西
I think that's when I realized you wanted something different.
其实我知道...
Look, man, I know...
我们虽然在一个家庭长大体验却不同
our experiences growing up in our family were different.
这我知道
I know that.
但那只是...
But I just...
我看待事物的视角和你不同
I don't see it the way that you do.
你还画画吗
You still paint?
不已经有段时间不画了
No, I-- You know, I haven't done that in a while.
我一直感觉这样挺酷的
I always thought it was kind of cool,
你能靠绘画探索情绪
that you would tap into your feelings by painting.
嗯
Yeah.
用视觉再现内心的一切活动
Creating a visual representation of all the stuff going on inside you.
我现在试着给你画一幅画
I'm-a try and paint you a picture.
-好吗 -好的
- Okay? - Okay.
我不久前开始参加一个
I started going to this
跨种族被收养者的互助小组
support group for transracial adoptees.
他们解释了一个说法幽灵王国
They explained this term to me: Ghost Kingdoms.
它就像一个脑中的平行世界
It's like an alternate reality in your mind
在这里你可以想象如果自己没被收养
where you imagine the life you would have had
会过怎样的生活
if you were never adopted.
然后我意识到
And, um, I realized
我这辈子一直有自己的幽灵王国
that I've had this Ghost Kingdom my entire life.
我只是一直没给它起名
I just never had a name for it.
因为我一直不知道我的亲身父母是谁...
Since I never knew who my birth parents really were...
兰德尔
Randall?
于是我想象了图书馆那位友善的管♥理♥员♥
I imagined that the nice librarian from the neighborhood library
还有本地新闻中出现的黑人气象学家是我的父母
and the Black meteorologist on the local news were my parents.
那个我们常向他祈祷下雪的人吗
The guy we always used to pray to for snow days?
-对 -这样
- Yep. - Yeah.
还有图书管♥理♥员♥
And the librarian.
她总是让你
She always let you check out
比规定多借走几本书
more books than you were allowed.
是的
She did.
他们是仅有的两个我时常见到
They were the only two adults that I consistently saw
而且长得像我的成年人