牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E20

Part 1 June 24, 2021, 11:24 a.m.

嘿 Bennett
Hey, Bennett.
嘿 Phillips
Hey, Phillips.
我以为你♥爸♥讨厌圣诞节彩灯
I thought your dad hated Christmas lights.
是啊他很讨厌
Oh, yeah, he does.
挂灯的乐趣有一半就是这个
That's half the fun of hanging 'em up.
我就像给斯克鲁奇打工的克拉契
I'm like the Cratchit to his Scrooge.
克拉契和斯克鲁奇都是狄更斯小说<圣诞颂歌♥>中的角色
克拉契是忠诚的雇员被吝啬鬼斯克鲁奇剥削
我很惊讶啊你居然还在读狄更斯
I am impressed. You've been reading more Dickens?
什么
What?
狄更斯写了<布偶圣诞颂>
Dickens wrote The Muppet Christmas Carol?
是的
Yes.
你在这干嘛
What are you doing here?
我知道你跟你♥爸♥之间有很多事
I know you have a lot going
要处理 Rooster又走了而且
on with your dad and Rooster gone and...
想你了
missed you.
我也想你
I miss you, too.
嗯
Mmm.
而且我需要你给我的轮胎安上防滑链
Plus, I need you to put the snow chains on my tires
暴风雪要来了所以赶紧赶紧
'cause there's a storm coming in. So, chop-chop.
如果你弯腰的时候露股沟给我看的话就额外再给你20美元
Give you an extra 20 bucks if you show me your plumber's crack.
那个棕色纸袋里装的什么
What do you got in that brown paper bag?
一个小小的提前给的圣诞节礼物吗
A little early Christmas present?
我才不会用棕色纸袋装你的圣诞节礼物
I wouldn't give you your Christmas present in a brown paper bag.
是啊那是我也不会
Right, that's... Me neither.
你知道你不用给我准备什么吧
You know you don't have to get me anything?
我知道
I know.
你也知道那就是嘴上说说的对吧
You also know that's something people just say, right?
显然你得给我准备点什么
You obviously have to get me something.
我知道我已经给你准备好了
I know. I already got you something.
是吗 - 而且很赞
Yeah? - And it's awesome.
但你知道的我们还是先说没准备吧
But, you know, let's say I didn't,
你觉得什么东西会是很赞的
what do you think would be awesome?
或者很容易买♥♥到的
Or easy to buy?
行了
All right.
我给你准备了咖啡和甜甜圈
I got coffee and donuts for you,
给我自己准备了含羞草鸡尾酒
and mimosas for me...
因为寒假来了 Phillips女士特么什么都不管
'cause it is winter break and Ms. Phillips don't give a fuck!
是啊你真是狂野
Yeah, you're a real wild one.
以五英里的时速
Coming down the driveway
满载着危险的气息开进了车道
at five mile an hour with your hazards on.
像我说的寒假万岁
Like I said, winter break. Whoo-hoo!
牧场主可没有寒假
Yeah, well, ranchers don't get a winter break.
所以你不要喝含羞草鸡尾酒吗
So you don't want a mimosa?
等等等等我可没这么说
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't say that.
就倒进我的暖水瓶里不要让我爸看见了
Just put it in my thermos so my dad don't see it.
你♥爸♥一直看到你喝酒啊
Your dad sees you drink all the time.
是啊喝的啤酒和威士忌可不是含羞草鸡尾酒
Yeah, beer and whiskey. Not mimosas.
你们俩相处得怎么样
How're you two getting along?
挺好的
Pretty good.
但Rooster昨晚来过了
Although Rooster came by last night...
当着我爸的面要给我一个工作
offered me a job in front of my dad.
天哪
Oh, shit.
Rooster想要敞开还是关闭式的棺材
Rooster gonna have an open or closed casket?
是啊
Yeah.
你准备怎么办
What are you gonna do?
回来后就很难想象离开了
After coming back, it's hard to imagine leaving.
这里是家 - 是啊
This is home. - Yeah.
我总是想象我的孩子们
I always pictured my kids...
像我一样在这里长大
growing up here like I did.
你懂的没什么大人管
You know, limited adult supervision.
有很多接触威士忌和枪♥支♥的机会
Plenty of access to whiskey and firearms.
这就是美国梦啊
It's the American dream.
加拿大去死吧
Fuck Canada!
你觉得我应该怎么办
What do you think I should do?
这跟我怎么想没关系
It's not about what I think.
当然有关系这是我们的未来
Sure it is. It's our future.
啊嘴真甜
Aw, that's sweet.
这里有大概三份含羞草鸡尾酒
There's like three mimosas in here.
你不用费这么大劲哄我上♥床♥
You don't have to work that hard to get me into bed.
跟你在这里一起生活
It would be kinda cool...
生儿育女
living here with you...
应该挺酷的
raising a family.
会很棒的
It'd be great.
你可以教给他们学校的重要性
You can teach 'em the importance of school.
我会教他们怎么逃学
I'll teach 'em how to ditch it.
无论你做什么决定
Well, whatever you decide...
我都会陪着你
I'm gonna be right there with you.
除非我因为我的卡车
Unless I die when my truck
没有装防滑链滑进沟里然后死了
slides into a ditch 'cause I got no chains.
行了我这就弄
All right, I'm on it.
你不帮忙吗 - 你没听到我说的吗
You gonna help? - Didn't you hear what I said?
Phillips女士在放假她特么什么都不管
Ms. Phillips is on a break, she don't give a fuck.
来给我看看那屁♥股♥
Now, show me that ass.
呼耶
Whoo! Yes!
我靠
Holy shit.
你脚上穿的是他妈的什么
What the fuck's on your feet?
我绊了一下两个脚正好栽到里面
I tripped and stepped right in 'em.
行吧别撑大了值一百七十美元呢
Well, don't stretch 'em out. They cost 170 bucks.
一百七十美元
A hundred and seventy dollars?
那真是他妈的
That's a fucking...
物有所值
great price.
嘿爸我想跟你聊聊
Hey, uh, Dad, I need to talk to you.
Colt 我正享受这一刻呢
Colt, I'm having a moment.
别破坏了
Don't ruin it.
我不会要Rooster那份工作的
I'm not gonna take that job with Rooster.
我不能离开你
I can't leave you.
你是我爸虽然我们有我们的问题
You're my dad. And even though we got our problems...
我爱你
I love you.
我爱这个地方而且我跟Abby要在这里抚养我们的子女
I love this place, and me and Abby is gonna raise our kids here.
我知道这里对我来说不是一直都这么重要
Now, I know it hasn't always meant that much to me, but...
但现在我回来了我意识到这对我有多重要了
now that I'm back, I think I realize how important it is.
我只想让这里世代相传一直保留下去
I just want it to stay in our family for generations to come.
我们要卖♥♥掉牧场
We're selling the ranch.
因为我刚才说的吗
Because of what I just said?
你妈想把牧场留给你和Rooster
Your mother wants me to leave it to you and Rooster.
我只想把这里留给你
I'm only willing to leave it to you.
等等
Hold on,
你穿着我的UGG雪地靴还说要把牧场留给我
you're wearing my Uggs and now you wanna leave me the ranch?
今天到底是怎么了
What the hell's going on here?
如果我不满足她的要求我们只能卖♥♥了
If I don't give in to her demands, we have to sell.
拜托这太不合理了就满足她的要求好了
Come on, this is insane. Just give her what she wants.
我不跟威胁我的人谈判
I don't negotiate with terrorists.
所以你情愿放弃这一切就为了证明一个观点
So you're willing to give all this up just to prove a point?
Colt
Colt...
我很感激你愿意留下来
I appreciate you wanting to stay...
但这里现在是属于你♥妈♥的♥了
but it's in your mother's hands now.
你就这么走开吗
You're just gonna walk away?
谈话结束了
We're done talking.
不你还穿着我的雪地靴呢
No, you're still wearing my Uggs!
来看这个视频
Okay, watch this video.
看这个男的用什么打乒乓球
Watch what this guy uses to hit this ping pong ball.
靠他用的鸡鸡
Oh, shit, he uses his dick!
太屌♥了
That's awesome.
我也能
I could do that.
Gallo Gallo 你对我来说就像一个兄弟
Gallo, Gallo... you're like a brother to me.
但从体育方面来说你像一个小♥弟♥弟♥
But physically, you're like a little brother.
你不相信我能做到行拿着那个蜜橘
You don't think so? All right, grab that tangerine.
对着我的鸡鸡扔过来
Throw it at my junk.
嘿 Rooster
Hey, Rooster.
你把裤子脱了
Your pants are down.