牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E18

Part 3 June 24, 2021, 11:23 a.m.

她还负责教性教育
She even teaches sex ed.
哦你给香蕉戴上避孕套了吗
Oh. Do you put a condom on a banana?
好了这也太过了没你的酒了啊
Okay, that's... All right, maybe, no more beer for you, huh?
哦对的对的对的
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
我现在醉了在说胡话呢
I only say these things because I am intoxicated.
因为你美得让我沉醉
Intoxicated by your beauty.
别闹
Stop.
你接着说
Don't stop.
嘿你自己的女朋友呢
Hey. Don't you have a girlfriend of your own?
曾经有那么一个女人
There was a woman.
Selena
Selena.
她有一双绿眼睛
Her eyes were green...
却可惜没有绿卡
but her card was not.
哦好了亲爱的现在该回家了
Oh. Okay, sweetie, it's time to go home.
移♥民♥局也是这么跟Selena说的
Yeah, same thing INS said to Selena.
我们下回再约吧
We'll get to see you again?
好啊如果Gallo决定在诺曼山工作了
Yes. And if Gallo takes the job at Neumann's Hill,
那我们应该会经常见面了
then we'll see a lot of each other.
诺曼山
Neumann's Hill?
他说什么呢
What's he talking about?
不兄弟这没什么的只是呃
No, man. It's not a big deal. It's just, uh...
Ed Bishop给了我份工作让我经营McConnell的老牧场
Ed Bishop offered me a job running the old McConnell ranch.
哦好吧
Oh... all right.
所以你就在那儿碰到了Berto
So that's where you ran into Berto, huh?
对 - 什么
Yeah. - What...
什么时候发生的
When did all this happen?
哦几天前
Oh, it was a couple of days ago.
你懂得我正准备跟你说呢
You know, I was gonna talk to you about it.
是啊
Yeah.
真有你的兄弟
Good for you, man.
嘿 Colt - 走吧
Hey, Colt... - All right?
好吧再见了大家
Yeah, okay. Bye, guys.
嘿老弟等一下
Hey, man. Hang on a second.
很高兴能见到他
It was good to see him.
嘿 - 还以为你已经睡了呢
Hey. - Thought you'd be sleeping.
不我没睡
No, I stayed up.
Tanya代班了11点的新闻播报
Tanya filled in on the eleven o'clock news.
她报道了一条关于商场圣诞节活动的新闻
She did a piece about... Christmas at the mall.
她坐在圣诞老人的大腿上
She sat on Santa's lap.
我不知道她想要什么礼物
Now, I don't know what she asked for
但是我想圣诞老人得到他想要的了
but I know Santa got what he wanted.
听着我想聊聊这份工作
Look, I wanna talk about that job.
哦你现在想聊了
Oh, now you wanna talk about it?
我想说我没有早一点提起是因为你知道的
I mean, I didn't bring it up earlier 'cause, you know...
好吧你知道么
Yeah, you know what?
这就像是生命中最重要的决定
This is, like, a... major life decision.
我连换洗发水牌子这事都会先和你讨论
I talk to you before I decide to change brands of shampoo.
是啊特么烦死人了
Yeah, and it's really fucking annoying.
只差一点就能赶上
Almost as annoying as when
你问我穿牛仔裤时你屁♥股♥好看么的程度了
you ask me how your ass looks in them jeans.
首先我绝不会问你那个
Okay, first of all, I'd never ask you that,
因为我知道我的屁♥股♥就是好看
'cause I already know it looks good.
而且再说了
And second of all,
我简直不敢相信
I can't even believe that
你居然会考虑离开我们的牧场
you're thinkin' about leavin' our ranch.
"我们的牧场"
"Our ranch"?
你特么怎么会觉得这是"我们的牧场"
Where'd you get the idea this is our ranch?
我是说总有一天对吧
I mean, that's the plan, right?
老爸会退居二线然后我们
Dad's gonna step aside and you and me,
我们会一起经营这里
we're gonna run it together.
老兄老爹看到发狂的公牛都不会退让一步
Dude, Dad wouldn't step aside for a charging bull.
他只会盯着他摸着他的八字胡就像
He'd just stare at it, touch his mustache and be like,
"你确定要跟我对着干"
"You really wanna do this?"
总有一天
Someday...
老爹会过世
Dad's gonna die.
不我觉得他死不了
No, I don't think he is.
他就像蟑螂或者基思·理查兹
He's like a cockroach or Keith Richards.
该死的别管老爹了你有考虑过我么
Well, fuck. Forget about Dad. What about me?
你特么在逗我这根本不关你的事
You fucking kidding me? This isn't about you.
哦真的么因为我会是那个困在这儿
Really? 'Cause I'm the one who's gonna be stuck here
干两份活还要面对永远在生气的老爹
with Dad all pissed off with the double workload.
你刚描述的就是我过去十五年的生活
You just described the last 15 years of my life.
好了你知道么你走了
Well, guess what, man? You left.
老妈走了所以为什么我就不能走呢
Mom left. Why shouldn't I get a shot to leave?
不不不我离开是为了我的职业生涯
No, no, no, no, no. I left for a football career!
而你选择了去
You're going down the road
另一个牧场干一样操蛋的活
to do the same goddamn job at another ranch!
不我是为了我的事业离开的就像你过去一样
No, I'm leaving for a career, just like you did.
唯一不同的是我真的能成功
Except I'll actually make something of myself.
去你♥妈♥的♥ 接受你的傻♥逼♥工作吧
Fuck you. You take this stupid job.
别这样
Come on, man.
为什么你要在车道上忙活着修理拖拉机
Why are you working on the tractor in the driveway?
因为它就是在这坏的
'Cause that's where it broke, Dad.
呃让我重说一遍
Well, let me rephrase.
你为什么会让一辆拖拉机坏在车道上
Why'd you break the tractor in the driveway?
我本来是想在谷仓里修的但是转念一想
Well... I was gonna do it in the barn, then I thought,
"嘿你知道么
"Hey, you know what?
外面大概10度还刚刚积了6英寸的雪
Outside, it's like ten degrees with six inches of fresh snow.
我应该去外面干啊"
I should do it out there."
而且更"开心"的是我找不到我的手套了
Oh, and as a bonus, I can't find my gloves.
所以你特么能不能少说两句了
So, zippidy-fucking-doo-dah!
你预热了么
Did you let it warm up?
我当然预热了
Of course I let it warm up.
检查过泵了吗
Checked the pump?
泵没问题
Yep, pump is fine.
检查过线路了吗
Checked the lines?
我现在就在干这个
That's what I'm doing right now, Dad.
先把最上面那个夹子松开 - 上帝啊你知道么
Loosen that top clamp first. - God, you know what?
给你你来
Here, you do it.
好吧我懂你的意思了继续吧你接着干
All right, I take the point. Go on. Keep going.
不用你来吧反正我肯定会弄砸的对吧
No, no. Go ahead. I'm just gonna fuck it up anyway, right?
我只是想说我知道问题在哪儿了
I'm just saying I think I know what the problem is.
哦真的么是什么呢
Oh, yeah? Well, what is it?
让我来看一下
Lemme get in there a sec and take a look.
你怎么都行
Be my guest.
记得喷点润滑油在上面
Make sure you put a little liquid wrench on there,
不然你会把螺丝弄滑丝的
otherwise you're gonna strip it.
呆那儿听着别人指挥感觉没那么有趣了吧
It's not as much fun being on the ass end of that, is it?
把那个扳手递给我
Hand me that Channellock.
你知道么
You know what, Dad?
我有的时候觉得如果我不在了
I get the feeling sometimes, if I weren't here...
你可能都不会发现
you probably wouldn't even notice.
我当然会发现
Of course I would.
因为冰箱终于能在我想喝啤酒的时候有存货了
There'd be a beer in the fridge when I wanted one.
说得没错
Exactly.
嘿 Colt 你怎么样
Hey, Colt. How're you doin'?
不怎么样 - 来瓶啤酒吗
Pretty shitty. - Oh, would you like a beer?
你知道吗我现在都不想喝酒这事儿了
You know what? I don't even think I wanna drink.
没人想喝酒
None of us do,
但大家都硬灌下去
but we soldier on.
出什么事了
All right, what's going on?
你不能告诉别人
All right, you can't tell anyone.
Rooster找了一份新工作
Rooster got a job offer.
对在诺曼山我知道
Yeah, Neumann's Hill. I know.
是我安排他跟Ed见面的
I set him up with Ed.
我跟他说应该接受
I told him he should take it.
你为什么要这么做
Why would you do that?
他是我儿子我想让他开心
He's my son. I want him to be happy.
我也是你儿子你不想让我开心吗
I'm your son. Don't you want me to be happy?
所以我才问你喝不喝啤酒啊
Why do you think I offered you the beer?