牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E16

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:23 a.m.

我在这儿坐了有八年了
I've been sittin' here for eight years?
你在这儿作甚 Beau
What are you doing here, Beau?
让儿子们负责给牛群授孕
Put the boys in charge of inseminating the herd.
哇
Wow.
你说的有道理
What you said made sense.
哇你让儿子们主持大局而且觉得我有道理
Wow. You put the boys in charge and I made sense.
来补充一下这句话
Finish this sentence...
"希拉里·克♥林♥顿♥是"
"Hillary Clinton is..."
恶魔
The devil.
很好
All right.
所以你还是个原来那个疯老头子很好
So you're still a crazy, old man. That's good.
他们做得如何 - 他们做错了
How are they doing? - They're doing it wrong.
他们做错了还是他们没和你一起做
Are they doing it wrong or are they doing it without you?
都对
Yes.
走过去帮忙但是不忍♥直视
Went out there to help. Couldn't bear to watch.
你是去帮忙的还是去评头论足的
Did you go out there to help or to criticize?
都对
Yes.
你不能期待这会很顺利
Well, you couldn't have expected it to go easy.
我的意思是这是个巨大的改变
I mean, it's a big change.
我们都知道你不太能处理改变
We all know you don't deal that well with change.
并不是这样
That's not true.
去年我从三角裤换到了四角裤
Last year, I switched from briefs to boxers...
然后又换回了三角裤
and then back to briefs.
从没想过会有太自♥由♥这回事
Never thought there could be such a thing as too much freedom.
哇接下来是什么
Wow, what's next?
你要从亨氏换到汉斯然后再换回亨氏吗
You gonna switch from Heinz to Hunts, then back to Heinz?
别逗了汉斯糟透了
Don't be ridiculous. Hunts is shit.
你倒酒真是有够大手大脚的
You know, you pour that stuff with a very heavy hand.
Beau 你是来喝酒的还是来评头论足的
Beau, did you come here to drink or to criticize?
都对
Yes.
别这样对其他人发火
You know, don't start in on everyone else
就因为儿子们不让你颐指气使了
just 'cause the boys won't let you boss them around.
我很礼貌地在告诉你你在浪费钱
I'm politely trying to tell you that you're wasting money.
我只是礼貌地想告诉
Well, I'm just politely trying to tell...
再见 Beau
Goodbye, Beau.
非常愉快 Mags
Always a pleasure, Mags.
嘿小家伙
Hey, bub.
你的吉他音不准啊
Your guitar's out of tune.
Jolene 我叫Colt 这是我哥哥Rooster
Jolene, my name is Colt. This is my brother Rooster.
我们即将共度一个美好的夜晚
And we are about to have a beautiful night together.
嘿别让事情变得奇怪
Hey, don't make it weird.
清理一下它的屁♥股♥ 然后我就可以让它怀孕了
Just clean off her ass so I can get her pregnant.
我在外面听到了这话很高兴这里面是一头牛
I heard that from outside. So glad there's a cow in here.
你来做什么呀
What you doing here?
嘿
Hey.
哇这就是农场的新鲜气味吧
Whoo! That is farm fresh, isn't it?
哦
Ooh.
你闻到的是责任
What you smell is responsibility.
不是我闻到的是屁味
No, what I smell is ass.
还有玫瑰吗
And roses?
噢差不多了
Ah! Close.
我为今晚感到抱歉
Hey, uh, I'm sorry about tonight.
我试着去给你打电♥话♥
I, uh, I... I tried to call you,
但是当我的手贴近我的脸我就开始有点晕了
but my hand got close to my face and I started to get dizzy.
所以我觉得还是发短♥信♥好了
So I thought it's best to go with a text.
嗯我懂了还收到一条短♥信♥说
Yeah, I got it. Also got another one that said...
"发一张你胸器的照片到Rooster的手♥机♥上"
"Send a picture of your boobs to Rooster's phone."
去你的 Colt
Damn, Colt.
你♥他♥妈♥脑子有毛病吧
What the fuck is wrong with you?
呃
Uh...
你来了我真开心
Happy you stopped by.
你看起来超可爱 - 谢谢
You look super cute. - Thanks.
我只是想打个招呼我想你了
I just wanted to say hi. I missed you.
想我了
Missed me?
是啊 - 有多想
Yeah. - How much?
如果环境有一点点不同的话
Well, if circumstances were slightly different,
比如说我们不是在这个畜棚你哥也不在旁边
like, if we weren't in this barn, and your brother wasn't around,
你闻起来也不像牛粪一样的话
and you didn't smell like cow shit...
我真的会性致大发的
I would be very, very turned on.
好的杀了Rooster 去干草棚那
Okay. Shoot Rooster, go to the hayloft,
把你的鼻子塞上我们就可以来一发了
plug your nose and we are good to go.
你们是想要来一发吗想让我离开吗
Hey, you guys gonna hook up? You want me to leave?
你们想让我留下
You want me to stay?
实际上我得走了我要和老妈见面吃晚餐
Actually, I gotta go. I'm meeting my mom for dinner.
我就是想来打个招呼给你带点吃的
So, I just wanted to come say hi and give you something to eat.
什么
What?
我的天啊你都
Oh, my God. What do you...
你带牛肉汉堡了 - 哦
You brought burgers? - Oh!
靠 Abby 这样一点都不好
Damn, Abby, not cool.
如果你去做B超
What would you do if you went for a sonogram
然而护士们刚吃完一顿小孩你会怎么做
and the nurse just finished up a meal of a baby?
我首先要做的就是去家别的医院
Uh, the first thing I'd do is go to a different hospital.
再见 Rooster
Bye, Rooster.
嘿
Hey...
谢谢
Thank you.
紫丁香
Lilacs.
屁和紫丁香味原来是这个味
Ass and lilacs, that's what it is.
再见
Bye.
我要饿死了 - 嗯
I'm starving. - Hmm.
哦
Oh.
好像有机会的话你不会吃了我们似的
Oh, like you wouldn't eat us if you had the chance.
好吧 Dale在干什么呢
All right. What the hell is Dale doing?
去检查一头牛有没有怀孕能花多长时间
How long does it take to see if a cow is pregnant?
检查并不会花很长时间
The test don't take a long time.
是等它们不哭再从浴室出来那功夫费时间
It's waiting for 'em to stop crying and come out of the bathroom.
如果Dale像你们两个一样做工作
If Dale takes as long at his job as you two take at yours,
他会在里面很久的
he's gonna be in there a while.
嘿那么说很伤人的爸
Hey, that's hurtful, Daddy.
我以为只是三个男人之间的小谈话而已
Thought we were just three guys talking.
噢是Abby
Oh. It's Abby.
嘿 Ab
Hey, Ab...
嘿老爸你的牛最多怀孕过几只
Hey, Dad, what's the most amount of cows you got pregnant?
十只里面吗九只
Out of ten? Nine.
我们需要弄多少呃才能让你开心呢
How many we gotta get to, uh, make you happy?
九只
Nine.
我们需要弄几只才能让你不恨我们呢
How many we gotta get to keep you from hating us?
九只
Nine.
你懂这个是怎么样的
You know how it is.
它不是什么确切的科学
This isn't an exact science.
Abby说什么了她要为了我离开你么
Hey, what did Abby say? She leaving you for me?
她妈妈出车祸了
Her mom got in a car accident.
哦妈的我是个混♥蛋♥ 她还好吗
Oh, shit. I'm an asshole. Is she okay?
她有点摔坏了有点淤青
Yeah, she a little banged up and bruised.
把她送到医院了要给她做X光
Got her down at the hospital, gonna give her some X-rays.
Abby说她会好起来的
Abby says she should be okay.
那就好你知道是什么撞了她吗
All right, good. You know what hit her?
我的朋友Roger被UPS快递的卡车撞了
'Cause my friend, Roger, got hit by a UPS truck.
"棕色能为您做点什么呢" 20年来每月都能会赔偿1万美元哟
"What can Brown do for you?" About $10K a month for 20 years.
她说我不用去
She said I don't have to come down.
我想这儿结束后去医院
I think I'm gonna go to the hospital after we finish up here.
Dale还没完事吗 - 我全都完成了
Is Dale still not done? - I'm all finished.
你从那么远就能听见吗
You heard that from way over there?
有了个新助听器我能听见Charlene跟我说的所有事
Got a new hearing aid. I hear everything Charlene tells me now.
看来我对她是"感情上疏远"了
Apparently, I'm "Emotionally distant."
有多少只牛怀孕了
How many cows are pregnant?
一只 - 一只
One of 'em. - One?
什么 - 妈的
What? - Shit.
别担心孩子们它
Don't worry, boys. It...
这些情况有时候会发生的
These things happen.
在我看管的时候从来没有过
Never happened on my watch.