牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E02

Part 4 June 24, 2021, 11:21 a.m.

别逗我了好吗
Give me a break, you know?
都怪老爸你懂的他对什么事情都火气十足
It's just Dad. I mean, you know, he gets pissed at everything.
是啊我懂我记得有一年万圣节
Yeah, I know. I remember the Halloween
孩子们来到家门口他们说 "不给糖就捣蛋"
when the kid came to the door and said, "Trick or treat,"
老爸回答说 "想挨刀子还是吃枪子儿"
and Dad said, "Smith or Wesson."
我和他不是一个世界的人
It's different with me and him.
没错好吧他对你很严厉
Yeah, all right, he's tough on you.
你猜怎么着他对我也很严厉
Well, guess what, he's tough on me, too.
那好跟我一起走吧
Well, then come with me.
我敢肯定我们可以在奥马哈的万豪酒店里混得风生水起
I'm sure I can get us a great rate at a Marriott in Omaha.
好吧这这是个好主意
Oh, yeah, that's a... that's a great idea.
你懂的我们都能逃出去的
You know, we'll both bail.
老爸将会失去牧场等到这里变成苹果蜂餐厅
Dad will lose the ranch, but we can always come back here and visit
我们还可以随时回来看看
when this place turns into an Applebee's.
那你就留下来吧
Then stay!
我们都在扮演着自己的角色
You know, we're all playing our roles.
你是好儿子
You're the good son.
我要走了
I'm leaving.
老兄这里的情况在变好了
Man... things were just getting great here.
情况变好了哪里变好了
Great here? What is great about this?
还记得昨晚吗
Remember last night,
你被那女孩弄得焦头烂额我在取笑你
you were having girl problems, I was making fun of you?
简直酷毙了
That was awesome!
不不是
No, it wasn't!
因为我还不知道你到底有没有睡过我的前女友
'Cause I still don't know whether or not you had sex with my ex-girlfriend.
我们不要在意那种破事
Let's not get caught up in all that kind of stuff.
听着你是我的弟弟好吗
Look, man, you're my little brother, okay?
我不想再次失去你
I don't want to lose you again.
抱歉
Sorry.
你到底在干什么伙计
What the hell are you doing, man?
如果你现在走了老爸不会再让你回来了
If you leave now, Dad is not letting you back in here.
放开我
Get off of me!
你不准走
You're not leaving!
嘿吃完饭以后你想看点什么吗
Hey, after dinner, you wanna watch something?
比如说
Like what?
我不知道看点网飞剧好吗
I don't know. Something on Netflix?
网飞他妈的是什么
What the fuck is Netflix?
当我没说
Never mind.
我今天听到一个有趣的笑话说的是
I heard a good joke today. So...
一匹马走进了一家酒吧懂吗
a horse walks into a bar, right?
马为什么要进酒吧
Why would a horse walk into a bar?
去喝东西
To get a drink.
这可是马啊它会在外面的水槽里喝
It's a horse. He'd drink outside in a trough.
好吧这匹马想喝点烈的
Well, this horse wanted something stronger.
马不喝酒
Horses don't drink alcohol.
这匹马喝
This one does.
一匹马走进了酒吧里面的人对此就没有任何反应吗
And no one else in the bar is reacting to the fact that a horse walked in?
是啊
Yeah.
好吧有的有一两个人作出了反应
All right,yeah, a couple of people react.
他们真的很震惊但随后他们缓过来了
They're real surprised, but then they get over it.
接着
So...
这匹马走向了酒保开口说道
the horse walks up to the bar tender and says,
"嘿我要一杯杰克丹尼混可乐" - 慢着
"Hey, I would like a Jack and Coke." - Wait.
这匹马♥会♥说话了
Now the horse can talk?
让我讲完好吗
Can I just finish my joke?
我给你讲一个吧 - 讲吧
Let me tell you one. - Go ahead.
咚咚咚 - 谁在敲门
Knock knock.- Who's there?
把碗洗了 - 真好笑
Do the dishes. - Funny.
你今晚最好把你的牙刷藏起来
You better hide your toothbrush tonight.
你懂的
You know...
也许是我多管闲事
maybe it's none of my business,
但你对Colt是不是有点太严厉了
but weren't you a little hard on Colt?
你说得对
You're right.
当真 - 是的
Seriously? - Yeah.
你是在多管闲事
It's none of your business.
你知道吗他其实很像你
You know, he's just like you.
他没一点像我
He is nothing like me.
事情变得一团糟的唯一理由
Only reason this whole thing blew up?
因为你们都固执到不肯承认自己的错误
'Cause you're both too stubborn to admit it's either one of your fault.
这绝对不正确
That is absolutely not true.
好吧
Okay
我问你点事儿
Let me ask you something.
如果我死了牧场里会发生什么事
What would happen to this place if I died?
开完纪念派对以后吗
After the party?
我是说很显然我会继续经营牧场
I mean, obviously, I would run it.
如果我们都死了呢
What if we both died?
这里是要出什么大事吗是要玩谋杀后自杀那一套吗
What's happening here? Is this, like, a murder-suicide kind of thing?
Colt会卖♥♥了所有的牲畜卖♥♥了牧场把钱挥霍掉
Colt would sell all the livestock, sell the ranch, piss the money away,
而且不会有任何好事发生
and no good would ever come of it.
好吧你说的并不对
Well, that's not true.
丹佛市的大批脱衣舞娘将迎来一位新嫖♥客♥
A lot of strippers in Denver would get new boobies.
你弟弟是个34岁的大孩子
Your brother is a 34-year-old child.
我正在设法让他为自己的后半生作准备
I'm just trying to prepare him for the rest of his life.
如果这意味着我必须逼迫他那也只能这样做
If that means I have to push him, so be it.
是啊逼得好啊
Well, you pushed him all right.
都把他逼出家门了
Pushed him right out the door.
祝贺你老爸你赢了
Congratulations, Pop. You win.
你有想过换个更大的地方住吗妈妈
You ever think about getting a bigger place, Mom?
为什么我喜欢这里
Why? I like it here.
我明白一个道理人越幸福需求越小
You know, I've found that the happier you are, the less you need.
你♥爸♥有一间占地1500英亩的牧场
Your father has a 1,500-acre ranch.
我想爸还需要再多1500英亩
You know, I think Dad needs another 1,500 acres.
你呢 Colt 什么才能使你幸福
What about you, Colt? What'll it take to make you happy?
我不知道
Oh... I don't know.
陈酿威士忌和金发小妞吧
Old whiskey and young blondes.
如果酒吧快打烊了那就换成新酿威士忌和金发老妞
If it's closing time, young whiskey and old blondes.
回避深层次问题是Bennett家族长久以来的传统
Dodging the deep questions, a long-standing Bennett tradition.
那么你想让我说什么
Well, what do you want me to say?
我知道我不喜欢听老爸说废话这让我不高兴
I know I don't like taking crap from Dad. That don't make me happy.
没人觉得和他一起工作是件轻松的事
Well, no one said working with him was gonna be easy.
我不介意像只海狸一样干苦活累活
Yeah, well, I don't mind doing the grunt work and being the beaver,
但是我不会做他的仆人
but I ain't gonna be his servant.
你要知道你得理解父亲的
Well, you know, you've gotta understand that Dad's...
由于牧场的原因他已经一落千丈了他正处于危机模式
He's in free fall now 'cause of the ranch. He's in crisis mode.
另外你刚才称自己为海狸吗
And... did you just call yourself a beaver?
这是图腾柱上的东西
It's a totem pole thing.
顺便告诉你图腾柱的底部是最重要的部分
And by the way, the bottom of the totem pole is the most important part,
因为它支撑着整根柱子这一切与基础有关
'cause it holds up the whole pole. It's all about the base.
就像那首歌♥一样 - 好了打住回到重点亲爱的
It's like that song. - Okay, wait. Focus, honey.
什么重点老爸不可理喻这一事实吗
Focus on what? The fact that Dad is impossible?
我敢肯定你♥爸♥对你不公平好吗
I'm... I'm sure your dad is being unfair, all right?
因为你懂的你♥爸♥可能对你不公平
Because, you know, your dad can be unfair.
但你也有自身的原因
But you have a part in this, too.
当事情变得困难的时候你就想逃
You know, when the going gets tough, you have a tendency to run.
不我没有
No, I don't.
你坐在手提箱上了儿子
You're sitting on a suitcase, son.
好的但是你理解错了妈妈
All right, but you got this one wrong, Ma.
情况完全不同 - 好的
This is totally different. - Okay.
他拿我开玩笑事情就是这样
mean, he's got it out for me. That's what it is.
所以是我完全错了吗
Oh, so there's absolutely no way that I'm right?
不
No.
好吧你认定了自己是正确的根本听不进去道理
Right, you're dead certain you're right and won't listen to reason.
你简直和他一样
Huh! You're just like him.
他是个冥顽不灵喜怒无常的混♥蛋♥
He's a stubborn, temperamental asshole!
就这点我们达成一致了
So we agree.
早啊 - 我们今天有很多活要干
Morning. - We got a lot of work to do today.
哦我睡得很好谢谢你呢
Oh, I slept fine, thanks. How about you?
嘿 - 你在这里干嘛
Hey. - What are you doing here?
我知道你今天很忙我给你做了三明治当早餐
I know you got a busy day. I made you breakfast sandwiches.
太棒了火腿和瑞士奶酪夹心
Oh... nice. Ham and Swiss.