牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E19

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:23 a.m.

你的那些破烂就被甩飞到河里去了
All your shit flew out into Copper Creek, so
我把能捞的都捞上来了
I tried to fish out what I could,
呃我弄上来的只有这个
and... Well, all I got was this.
我牙刷是红色的
My toothbrush is red.
你的新牙刷是蓝色的
Your new one's blue.
Rooster 你要住在哪
Rooster, where're you gonna stay?
我希望是在微醉和烂醉之间的某个地方
Mmm... I'm hoping some place between buzzed and shit-faced.
别担心 Rooster 你可以跟我待在我的房♥车里
Don't worry, Rooster. You can stay with me in my Airstream.
谢了妈我估计就先在Mary家凑活了
Oh, thanks, Mom. I'm probably just gonna crash at Mary's.
谢天谢地
Thank God.
Maggie - 嘿 Beau.
Maggie. - Hey, Beau.
你干什么呢 - 我来拿东西的
What're you doing? - I'm taking shit.
我想着既然我们离婚了
I figured since we're getting divorced,
我就来看看这有没有什么是我想要
I'd just come and see if there was anything I wanted
而你又不在乎的
that you don't care about.
但是现在看来你不在乎任何东西
But it turns out, you don't care about anything...
包括我们的儿子
including our son.
哦我懂这是怎么回事了
Oh, I see what this is about.
这是我们在度蜜月时候买♥♥的你喜欢吗
We got this on our honeymoon. Do you like it?
不
No.
太好了
Great.
我把它就放在这你每天必须看见它的地方
I'll leave it right here, where you have to look at it every day.
不是我把Rooster赶出去的
I didn't kick Rooster out.
他主动退出的
He quit.
他的家庭牧场对他来说已经不够好了
His family's ranch wasn't good enough for him.
他只是选了那个可行的选择
He's just taking the option that's available to him.
如果你想要冲人发火你应该冲着我来
If you want to be mad at someone, you should be mad at me.
你印象里有我不生你气的时候吗
Are you under the impression that I'm not?
Rooster在这里不会有什么长进的
Rooster wasn't going anywhere here,
所以我打给Ed Bishop 问他是否需要一个好牧场主
so I called Ed Bishop to see if he could use a good rancher.
等等这是你设计的
Wait, you set this up?
对的
That's right.
我只是希望我早点打出那个电♥话♥
I just wish I'd done it sooner.
你让这次离婚简单太多了
Oh, you've made this divorce a whole lot easier.
我会签了这些的
I'll sign these papers,
然后你就可以滚出我家了
then you can get the hell out of my house.
"滚出我家"
"Get the hell out of my house."
你应该把这句话放到门口的垫子上
You know you ought to put that on your welcome mat.
哦门口的垫子
Ooh, the welcome mat.
我出门的时候会带走的
Oh, I'll get it on the way out.
搞什么啊
What the hell?
你想要打猎的小木屋和周围的土地
You want the hunting cabin and the land around it?
没错
That's right.
我也关心这个牧场我想要它的一小份
I care about this ranch, too, and I want a little piece of it.
我还想要白纸黑字地写上你死的时候
I also want it in writing, that when you die,
孩子们会得到牧场
the boys get the ranch.
你可以拥有小木屋
You can have the cabin.
我要把牧场留给Colt
I'm leaving the ranch to Colt.
真的吗
Really?
反正你死之后 Colt也会分一半给Rooster的
After you die, Colt will just give half to Rooster anyway.
我不关心我死后的事
I don't care what happens after I die.
他放弃了这个地方
He gave up on this place.
我不会还给他的
I'm not giving it back to him.
很好 Beau 至少你还有你的骄傲
Oh, good, Beau. At least you have your pride.
是啊我的骄傲和这个漂亮的糖果盅
Yeah, my pride and this lovely candy dish.
这歌♥绝了 - 是啊
Oh, what a song. - Yeah.
这个小伙子爱上了一个姑娘
This guy falls in love with a woman.
在九周年纪念日的时候他给她买♥♥了一只小猫咪
For their ninth anniversary he buys her a little kitty-cat,
她喜极而泣
and she just cries with joy.
哦不是的 Colt
Oh, no, uh, Colt.
这歌♥是讲一个男人杀了他的妻子和他最好的朋友
This song is about a man who murdered his wife and his best friend,
然后要被处死了
and is about to be put to death.
真的假的
Really?
真的
Yes.
好吧
Oh.
我在巴塞罗那比赛的时候
So... when I played in Barcelona
球迷们都在欢呼"杀死九号♥(西语)"
and the fans were cheering, "Mata al nueve..."
他们不是在说"我们爱九号♥"
They weren't saying, "We love number nine"?
不他们说的是"杀死九号♥"
No. They were saying, "Kill number nine."
怪不得我的恋爱都不长久
No wonder I couldn't keep a girlfriend.
我一直对她们说我要谋杀她们
I kept telling them I was gonna murder them.
完全正确 - 妈的
Exactly. - Fuck.
哥们这真是糟透了
Man, this is fucked up.
我在回家的路上而Rooster却没在家等我
I'm going home, and Rooster ain't even gonna be there.
是啊真为Rooster感到难过
Yeah, I feel so bad for Rooster.
和漂亮的金发女郎困在一起
Stuck in a house with beautiful blonde women.
我只能和我两个表兄弟挤在一个单身公♥寓♥
I have to share a one bedroom apartment with my two cousins.
厕所就在厨房♥里
The toilet is practically in the kitchen.
他们说你最好别在吃饭的地方拉屎
Yeah, they say you shouldn't shit where you eat...
但是我们只能这样啊
but we must.
你不是在诺曼山赚了不少钱嘛
You make good money at Neumann's Hill.
为什么不搬出去自己住
Why don't you just get your own place?
我把大部分的钱都寄回家了
Oh, I send most of my money to my family back home.
嗯我懂的
Yeah, I get it.
我在奥兰多的时候
When I was down in Orlando,
我给我爸寄了一根纪念版海洋世界鱼竿
I sent my dad a commemorative SeaWorld fishing rod.
包装好的
Wrapped.
我想他很喜欢
I think he appreciated it.
是啊一样的
Yeah. Same thing.
但认真说起来这真是一种牺牲啊
Seriously, though, that's one hell of a sacrifice.
并不是
Not really.
这是我的家庭我的家庭就是我的命
It's my family. My family's my life.
我愿为我的家庭赴汤蹈火
I'd do anything for my family.
我小的时候
When I was a kid...
Rooster想拿最后一块饼干
Rooster tried to take the last biscuit.
我就用叉子捅了他
I stabbed his hand with a fork.
让我感觉自己像个混♥蛋♥
Kinda makes me feel like a bit of an asshole.
别对自己这么苛刻
Ah, don't be so hard on yourself.
我愿意为了一个肉桂卷而杀人
I'd kill a man for a Cinnabon.
那些栅栏看起来怎么样
How'd that fence look?
栅栏挺好的
The fence is fine.
把那些树枝砍掉了吗
Get those limbs off?
是的
Yep.
不过我觉得我们丢了一只牛
Think we're missing a cow, though.
在你问之前我先说是的我仔细检查过了
Before you ask... yes, I double-checked.
还有是的我知道怎么数数
And, yes, I know how to count.
还有不我没有用手指和脚趾数
And, no, I did not use my fingers and toes.
你说我们丢了一只牛是什么意思
What do you mean we're missing a cow?
怎么说呢
Uh, how do I put this?
有一只巨大的棕白相间的生物
There's a giant brown and white creature...
昨天还在那儿
it was there yesterday.
今天它不在了
It ain't there today.
我不知道它是怎么跑出去的
I don't know how it got out.
我没看到栅栏有任何被破坏的痕迹
I didn't see any breaks in the fence.
我也不认为是被美洲狮捉走了
I don't think a mountain lion got it
因为我没看到任何动物残骸所以
'cause I didn't see any carcasses, so...
妈的那你怎么弄丢了一只牛
Damn it. How do you lose a cow?
哦慢着慢着慢着
Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
首先我没有弄丢牛
First... first of all, I did not lose a cow.
我注意到牛丢了
I noticed the cow was lost.
而且一直都在丢
And it happens all the time.
你这几年丢了多少牛了
How many cows have you lost over the years?
我打赌如果我在它屁♥股♥后面绑个啤酒罐你就不会弄丢了
I bet if I tied a beer can to its ass, you wouldn't have lost it.
好吧首先
Okay, first of all,
这是个不错的主意
that's a great idea.
其次
And second...
我知道你不是因为牛在生我的气
I know you ain't mad at me about a cow.
你只是因为Rooster在发脾气
You're just lashing out 'cause of Rooster.
你赶他出去这事就是个错误
You made a mistake throwing him out.
首先我反对
First off, I disagree.