牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E03

Part 1 June 24, 2021, 11:21 a.m.

看到我怎么赶牛了吗
You see the way I gathered them cattle?
绝对大♥师♥级的
It was like a master class.
牛肯定在想 "哇这人赶我们的手法真棒"
Cows are probably like, "Man, did you see the way he gathered us?
"他真是粗犷又帅气啊"
"And how ruggedly handsome he is?"
"嗯你看到他怎么就
"Yeah, and did you see how
在关闸门的时候夹到他爸的手了吗"
he slammed his dad's hand in the tailgate?"
我告诉你要往上面揉点土但
I'd have told you to rub some dirt on it, but...
你也是这么做的
that's what you did.
嗨噢 - 嗨
Hey-o. - Hey.
训练的怎么样 - 训练
How was practice? - Practice?
怎么你还假装自己是
What, are you pretending to
高中女子排球的教练吗
be the girls' high school volleyball coach again?
不她们学聪明了不吃那套
No, man, they got wise to that.
我现在是橄榄球队的防守后卫教练
Defensive backs coach for the football team.
我现在把到的18岁
I get more 18-year-old
拉拉队员比念高中的时候还多
cheerleaders now than I did in high school.
从没想过你能当教练 - 是啊我也没想到
I never figured you for a coach. - Yeah, me neither.
但爹只会因为两件事放我假
But Dad will only give me time off for two things.
葬礼和橄榄球 - 正是
Funerals and football. - Exactly.
所以当五年前防守后卫教练死了
So, five years ago, when the defensive backs coach died,
两项条件同时达成
I got both.
今年我们组好队了 - 噢是啊我们组了个队
We got a team this year? - Oh, hell yeah, we got a team.
所以怎么对阵我们对Norwood 还是谁
So, what's the deal? We gonna beat Norwood or what?
天我也希望是他们真受不了Nowood
God, I hope so. Can't stand Norwood.
不就是因为玩的嗨还有后防线严密么
They act all high and mighty with their Super Walmart
他们至于这么趾高气昂
and their second stop light.
John Deere商店在Norwood
The John Deere store is in Norwood.
去年出于对我的同情小伙子给我打了个败北折扣
Last year, some kid offered me a loser's discount out of pity.
我当然全价照付
I paid full price.
跟你们说我们队可棒了
Yo, I'm telling you guys, we got a hell of a team.
四分卫那膀子跟猎枪似的
Quarterback... got an arm like a shotgun.
叫他下一任Colt Bennett
Calling him the next Colt Bennett.
这预示着
Does that mean he's gonna
他到34了还在家啃老
be livin' at home when he's 34 years old?
"下一任Colt Bennett"
"The next Colt Bennett."
是啊他们每年都说
Yeah, they say that every year.
但永远都不会有第二个Colt Bennett
There ain't never gonna be another Colt Bennett.
记得接任我的那个吗 Dubanowski 什么的
Remember that guy that came after me? Was it Dubanowski?
他现在做什么
What's he doing now?
他是外科医生
He's a surgeon.
他手术分离了连体双胞胎
He separated Siamese twins.
那又如何他分离的都什么玩意儿
So what? He separates shit.
我凝聚全镇的力量赢了州比赛全靠这两膀子
I brought a whole town together and won State. All with this arm.
知道你从谁那遗传来的吗
Remember who you got that arm from.
你跟你妈一样手臂软趴趴
You got your mother's.
爹我以为你是后卫
I thought you were a linebacker, Dad.
我们那时候什么位置都打攻守都行(可攻可受)
In my day, we did it all. We played both ways.
恩现在这话可有歧义啊爹
Yeah, that means something different nowadays, Dad.
好我们打一局吧
All right, let's run a play.
爹你把球丢给我Rooster 跑开
Dad, you hike me the ball. Rooster, go long.
不要我知道你们在搞鬼 - 什么鬼
Hell no, man. I know that trick. - What trick?
就是你让我跑开然后再跑远点
The one where you tell me to go long, then go longer,
然后你进房♥把门带上
then you run inside, lock the door,
用我的麦片泡蛋蛋
and dunk your balls in my Cheerios.
现在是晚餐时间
It's dinner.
我才不要把蛋蛋泡在你的热汤里呢
I ain't gonna dunk my sack in your hot soup.
有的错误你只能犯一次
You only make that mistake once.
你俩什么毛病
What the hell's wrong with you two?
我跟两个弟兄长大从没用蛋蛋开过玩笑
I grew up with two brothers. Never saw nut one.
Rooster 跑开
Rooster, go long.
开始吧好开打
Let's go. All right. Here we go.
开球开球
Hut, hut!
你还好吗 - 我看上去好吗
You okay? - Do I look like I'm okay?
额你看上去想攻又想守(受)
Well, you look like you're about to play both ways.
就不能让我开车吗
Couldn't just let me drive.
我好着呢 - 呵呵是嘛
I'm fine. - Yeah.
你每次右转的时候
Every time you made a right hand turn,
听上去就像个女网选手
you sounded like a female tennis player.
Beau 怎么了你走路
Beau, what's wrong? You're walking
看起来就跟屁♥眼♥里真塞了根棍子一样
like you have an actual stick up your ass.
他背拉伤了
Threw his back out.
你知道什么对拉伤的背有好处吗
You know what's good for a bad back?
做普拉提
Pilates.
别添乱啊 Hank
Not helping, Hank.
给酒吧带来文艺气息倒成我的不是了
Excuse me for bringing a little culture to this bar.
你知道你得去看医生的对吧 - 我没事
You know you have to see someone, right? - I'm fine.
你没事好吧孩子们拿好
You're fine? All right. Here, boys.
谢谢妈
Thanks, Mom.
嗯 Beau 你的背反正没事
And, Beau, since your back is fine
你也不用去看医生
and you don't need to go to the doctor,
这是你的啤酒
here's your beer.
捡起来啊
Pick it up.
去看医生吧
Go see a doctor.
然后用医保付200刀不了谢谢啊
And fork over $200 for a co-pay? No, thanks.
如果下周没好点的话
If it ain't feeling better next week,
我就去兽医那开点药
I'll go to the vet and get some pills.
Rooster 能帮我捡下啤酒吗
Rooster, will you pick up my beer?
好
Yup.
Jameson 你要是碰了那瓶啤酒
Jameson, you touch that beer,
你以后永远别想再踏进这酒吧一步
you'll never drink in this bar again.
对不起爸爸
Sorry, Dad.
我爱你但我更爱免费啤酒所以
I love you, but I love free beer more, so...
Colt
Colt?
你能拿我怎么样来追我吗
What are you gonna do, chase me?
哦天哪
Oh, my God.
Kenny
Kenny.
天啊你躲着他
Oh, man. You trying to avoid him
就因为他跟你前任嘿嘿嘿了
'cause he's banging your ex-girlfriend?
是很大程度上 - 拜托这又不是你的错
Yeah, big time. - Yeah. I don't blame you.
嗨嘿 Kenny 最近如何啊老兄
Hey, yo, Kenny, what's up, my man?
嗨Rooster Colt
Hey! Rooster! Colt!
哟兄弟你又从Shaggy那儿买♥♥冰♥毒♥啦
Yo, man. You buying meth again from Shaggy over there?
我感觉你可能在这
I had a feeling you might be here.
毕竟这是你妈开的酒吧
You know, because it's your mom's,
倒不是因为你酗酒
not because you have a drinking problem.
两瓶啤酒厉害啊
Two beers. That's cool.
Kenny 最近和Abby怎么样
So, Kenny, how's things with you and Abby?
是不是挺棒的你两真是相当相当登对啊
They great? Because you guys make a really, really cute couple.
嗯
Yeah.
她最棒了 - 嗯
She's the best! - Yeah.
她就是懂我
She just gets me.
嗯这真棒
Yeah, that's great.
嘿注意到没我觉得爸想走了
Hey, you know what? I think Dad wants to get out of here.
不我不觉得
No, I don't think he does.
额我知道Abby爱你的所有缘由
Uh, so, you know, I know all the reasons why Abby loves you,
但你能告诉我们你为什么爱Abby吗
but why don't you tell me and Colt all the reasons you love Abby.
额行啊我跟你说
Uh, yeah, I mean...
她闻上去像香草 - 哇
She smells like vanilla. - Whoo!
你听到了吗Colt
You hear that, Colt?
香草啊
Vanilla!
嘿听着我不知道你们听说没
Hey, listen, I don't know if you heard,
但我最近被选为
but I was recently elected
Garrison橄榄球鼓舞俱乐部的主席
president of the Garrison football booster club,
我们踢踢球啦开玩笑啦
and we're kicking things off, pun intended,
还能吃一餐意面
with a, uh, spaghetti dinner.
我在想你能不能来给我们讲几句
I was wondering if you'd come by and maybe say a few words.
不谢了
No, thank you.
开玩笑啦
Pun intended.
好吧嗯你能给我们抽奖活动捐点什么吗
Okay. Um... then maybe you could donate something for our raffle?
我很想要个你和新四分卫的
I'd love to get an autographed