牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E03

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:21 a.m.

签名照片
picture of you and the new quarterback.
嗯好的我能办到
Yeah, okay. I can do that.
嘿如果你想
Hey, you know, if you want,
我甚至能搞个"赢取和Colt Bennett 约会"的活动
I'll even do that, uh, "Win a date with Colt Bennett" Thing,
只要我能操纵结果选取获胜者
as long as it's rigged and I get to pick the winner.
是啊
Yeah, man.
不要胖子不要平胸
No fatties. No flatties.
得了吧搞得好像只有我这么想似的
Oh, okay. Like I'm the only one thinking that.
*我得找个人来帮帮我*
*I'm gonna need someone to help me*
*我真的需要有人帮帮忙*
*I'm gonna need somebody's hand*
*有人能过来抓稳我*
*I'm gonna need someone to hold me down*
*我得找个人来关心我*
*I'm gonna need someone to care*
*我迟早会躺平在地抽搐不止*
*I'm gonna writhe and shake my body*
*我迟早会扯光自己头发*
*I'll start pulling out my hair*
*我会把你的骨灰涂在身上*
*I'm going to cover myself with the ashes of you*
*然而特么根本就没人会理我*
*And nobody's gonna give a damn*
*他妈的混♥蛋♥ 给我来瓶酒*
*Son of a bitch, give me a drink*
*又过了一夜*
*One more night*
*我咋成了这样子*
*This can't be me*
*他妈的大混♥蛋♥*
*Son of a bitch*
你好啊 Bennett先生
Hello, Mr. Bennett.
Boyd医生在哪
Where's Dr. Boyd?
我就是Boyd医生
I'm Dr. Boyd.
不真正的Boyd医生
No, the real Dr. Boyd.
啊你说的是我父亲
Oh, you're thinking of my dad.
你上次见他是什么时候
When's the last time you saw him?
额我不记得了有一两年了吧
Oh, I don't know. A year or two, maybe.
他12年前就去世了
He died 12 years ago.
是比我想的要久
Maybe it was longer.
我继承了他的事业但别担心
I took over his practice. But don't worry,
我会好好诊治你的
you're in good hands with me.
你的背疼多久了
So, how long has your back been bothering you?
不关你的事
None of your business.
哦 Beau Bennett
Oh! Beau Bennett!
好吧是
Okay, yeah!
跟你说我要检查下你背部
I'll tell you what, I'll examine your back
然后拍几张X光看看怎么回事
and take a couple x-rays and see what we're dealing with.
既然你在这我给你快速检查下
And while you're here, we'll do a quick checkup.
我才不要什么检查我好得很
I don't need a checkup. Everything else is fine.
你12年都没看医生了
You haven't been to the doctor in 12 years.
不给你检查的话那我就太失职了
I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't give you an examination.
另外我成了名医生之后
On the plus side, since I've become a doctor,
我手上只死了三个患者呢
I've only killed three patients.
哦棒你也很逗
Oh, good. You're funny, too.
这就检查完了吗
Are we done here?
这样如何
How about this.
我给你开个治背疼的处方
I'll give you a prescription for your back.
能捡起来的话你想走就走
Feel free to pick it up and walk out of here anytime.
如果捡不起来那我就给你检查
But if you can't, then I'm doing an exam.
你是跟我老婆聊过了吧
You've been talkin' to my wife.
看你以前的奖杯哈
Staring at your old trophies, huh?
可有点虚荣啊
That's a little vain.
实际上我在看我的影子
Actually, I was staring at my reflection.
你在这干嘛呢
So, what're you doing here?
他们叫我来
Uh, they asked me to come
跟新的四分卫合影
take a picture with the new quarterback.
噢 - 你们这性感的老师真多
Oh. - You got a couple hot teachers over there.
看来某人要有压力咯
Looks like someone's got some competition.
那两个都是学生
Those are both students.
更棒了
Even better.
好吧我得去上课了
All right. I gotta get to my class.
哦看看这个你在Henderson老师以前的教室上课
Oh, look at that! Are you in Miss Henderson's old room?
嗯 - 哦天
Yeah. - Oh, man.
你知道吗她是我最喜欢的老师
You know, she was my favorite teacher.
当然啦因为她不给我们讲二战
Of course. 'Cause instead of teaching us about World War II,
反倒坐在桌边给我们放<拯救大兵瑞恩>
she just put on Saving Private Ryan, sat at her desk,
喝她"水杯"里带的"水"
drank out of her "Water bottle."
我不知道谁赢了二战
I don't know who won World War II,
但我知道我们把马特达蒙救回来了
but I know we got Matt Damon back.
嘿你最好进去
Hey. You better get in there.
如果老师在
You know, if the teacher's
铃响后5分钟没进教室的话
not in the room in the first five minutes,
整个班的人都准备回家了
the whole class gets to go home.
以前没人这么想过现在依旧也没人这么想
Wasn't a thing then, not a thing now.
还有我们打败了德国人
Oh, and, uh, we beat the Germans.
得了吧我知道那是一战的事儿
Yeah, nice try. I know that was World War I.
嘿 Colt - 嘿
Hey, Colt. - Hey.
过来看这些新老师吗
Check out these new teachers?
其实她们是学生
Actually, they're students.
谢谢你的提醒
Thanks for the heads-up.
你认为她们是毕业班的吗
You think they're seniors?
他在这里
Here he is.
Bennett 好久不见
Bennett. Long time no see.
嗨 Fitz教练
Hey, Coach Fitz.
你见过Josh了吗
Have you met Josh?
他将带领我们夺得下一座州冠军奖杯
He's gonna take us to our next State Championship.
很高兴见到你小伙子 - 我也是
Hey. Nice to meet you, bud. - You, too.
我是因为你才开始打橄榄球的先生
You're the reason I started playing football, sir.
"先生"
"Sir"?
好吧这个称呼还是等你见到你女朋友她爸
Come on, save "Sir" For when you meet your girlfriend's dad
或者第一次酒驾被抓的时候再用吧
or you're getting pulled over for your first DUI.
很好的建议 Colt
Good advice, Colt.
你知道吗为了拍摄你的州决赛
You know, my dad taped over my first birthday party
我爸爸清空了我第一次生日派对的录像带
to record your State Championship game.
你还记得最后一球吗
You remember that last play?
不是很记得了
Nah, not really.
只剩7秒钟的时候我们还落后3分
Seven seconds left. Down by three.
另外一队得了20分我正盯着对方的2号♥区域盯防
On the other team's 20. I'm staring at a cover two defense.
我看到第二排的那个辣妹
This hot chick in the
正准备和队员雄赳赳气昂昂地连好防线反击我们
second row just going to town on a corn dog.
这家伙他想让我稳扎稳打
This guy... wants me to play it safe.
往前推进几码这样他就可以派踢球手上场去扳平比分
Get a few yards, so he can put the kicker in and tie the game.
所以最后时刻我决定传球对吧
So I audible to a pass, right?
我接住发球往后退然而我的第一接球手却倒下了
I take the snap, I drop back, and my primary receiver falls down.
懂吧所以我转移到了右边
Okay? So I roll out to the right.
对方的州代表队线卫朝我冲了过来
Their all-state linebacker's coming down on me, right?
我认识这家伙
I know this guy.
他想扭断我的头因为我睡了他妹妹
He wants to rip my head off 'cause I banged his sister.
Wilson当时在达阵区完全无人防守
Wilson was wide open in the end zone.
搞得好像我要传球给Wilson似的
Like I'm gonna throw the ball to Wilson.
那个赛季他唯一得到过的东西是阴虱病
The only thing he caught that season was crabs.
是从线卫的妹妹那里染上的我也染上了
Linebacker's sister. I got 'em, too.
她是从我这里染上的
She got 'em from me.
然后我越过障碍直冲达阵区球越过了端线
So I hurdle for the end zone, ball outstretched.
裁判举起了双手比赛结束了
Zebra puts his arms up. Game over.
州冠军就此诞生砰
State Championship. Boom!
Aaron Rodgers是从我这儿偷学的庆祝动作
Aaron Rodgers stole that from me.
去他丫的抄袭犯
Discount double check my ass.
对于整个小镇的人来说那是伟大的一天
It was a great day for the whole town.
我吐在了一辆警车上甚至都没人在意
I puked on a cop car... and no one even cared.
嘿你懂的如果你想
Hey, you know, if you want,
我可以过来稍微帮你提升一下
I could come down and help you out a bit.
你怎么看教练 - 听起来很好
What do you say, Coach? - Sounds great.
你得在意面晚餐的时候讲讲这个故事
You gotta tell that story at the spaghetti dinner.
好吧我想我可以过来说几句话
Yeah, I think I could come down and say a few words.
太美妙了那些家伙会很振奋的
Sweet! The guys will be stoked.
你以前真的是最好的
You really were the best.
是啊
Aw... yeah.
Bennett先生
Well, Mr. Bennett...
我不得不说在很大程度上
I have to say, for the most part,