牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E04

Part 3 June 24, 2021, 11:21 a.m.

好啦 Kenny
All right, Kenny.
集中精神好不我们要是赢了回家给你奖励
Eye on the prize, all right? If we win now, you win later.
哦她在开玩笑
Oh. She's kidding.
输赢不会影响我们滚床单的次数
We have an appropriate amount of sex either way.
那肯定是个艰难的选择但是
You know, that's definitely a tough choice. But, I mean...
大专也就读个大概两年
junior college lasts, what, like, two years?
丰胸可是一辈子的事
Breast enlargement lasts forever.
和22岁的女生约会哦
So, dating a 22-year-old?
挺厉害呀老兄
Pretty awesome, bro!
哦放松
Oh, easy.
我们没有在约会就是一起玩玩
We ain't dating. We're just having fun.
哦我敢肯定你们玩得很爽
Oh, I'm sure you are.
其实 Heather真的挺有趣的
You know, actually, Heather's really interesting.
哦这我知道
Oh, I know.
我读了她写的论文为什么奴隶制
I read her paper on why slavery was "Like,
"可能完全不是一件酷炫的事"
totally not a cool thing."
没错确实不是啊
Yeah, well, it wasn't.
喔投得漂亮 Heather
Oh. Nice toss, Heather.
你俩有很多共同点哦
You guys have a lot in common?
是呀是呀
Yeah. Yeah.
我们都喜欢披萨我们都
We both like pizza and we both...
住在盖里森
live in Garrison.
我们都讨厌奴隶制
We both hate slavery.
哇哦感情挺深厚哦 - 拜托
Wow, solid foundation. - Shut up.
Kenny 集中精神我的天
Kenny! Focus! God!
你为什么这么在意呢
What do you care so much for?
我就是希望你能认真地谈恋爱
I was hoping you were looking for something serious.
真心地经营一段感情
Like an actual relationship.
你年纪都是她的两倍了
I mean, you're almost twice her age.
哦我的天是啊
Oh, God, you're right.
这很不好
That's a bad thing.
十分恶劣
That's a very bad thing.
你简直不可理喻
You are unbelievable.
打中那个木板 Kenny
Hit the damn board, Kenny!
抱歉亲爱的
Sorry, sweetie.
要不你别喝酒了改喝水吧
You should switch to water.
要不你来"咬"我啊
Maybe you should blow me.
嘿你为什么对我和Heather的感情这么感兴趣呢
Hey, why are you so interested in my relationship with Heather?
哦我可不觉得你们之间是一段感情 Colt
Oh. I don't think what you have is a relationship, Colt.
更像在玩过家家
It's more like a playdate.
你怎么能肯定呢她也许就是那个对的人
How do you know? I mean, she might be the one.
她姓什么
What's her last name?
或许将来会姓Bennett
Maybe it'll be Bennett.
扔得不错 Kenny
That was a nice throw, Kenny.
警♥察♥来了
Cops!
嘿嘿他们要是问就说她已经21岁了懂吗
Hey, hey. If they ask, she's 21, all right?
所有人举起你们的双手
Everybody put your hands in the air...
让我看到它们在空中挥舞
and wave 'em like you just don't care!
什么鬼
The hell?
兄弟们你们好啊 - Beer Pong
What up, boys? - Beer Pong!
他看起来不错 - 嘿老兄
He's cute. - Hey, how we doing, boss?
Nikki对警♥察♥情有独钟
Nikki has a thing for cops.
没错我是喜欢
It's true. I do.
你对曾经上过"警♥察♥秀"的人感兴趣不
What about people who have been on the show Cops?
就是会脱下我的上衣和裤子那个节目
Took off my shirt and my pants.
Beau 你到底怎么了
Beau, what happened to you?
我以为你会去酒吧见我呢
I thought you were gonna meet me in the bar.
有个家伙在楼下
There's a guy down here who's
讲电♥话♥都半个小时了
been talking on his phone for a half hour.
什么
What?
有个男的在停车场不停地讲电♥话♥
There's a guy in the parking lot talking on his phone.
谁会打电♥话♥打半个小时
Who talks on the phone for a half an hour?
谁会看别人打电♥话♥半个小时
Who watches somebody talk on the phone for half an hour?
没错他一定有什么阴谋
Yeah, he's up to something.
他穿一身西装却没有皮带
He's wearing a suit and no belt.
拜托我们都多久没出来好好享受一晚了
Come on. We haven't had a night away in years.
我们应该抓紧这个机会好好放松一下
This is our chance to have fun,
而不是盯着一个不系皮带的人在停车场吃三明治
not watch some beltless guy in a parking lot eating a sandwich.
他现在在吃三明治吗
He's eating a sandwich now?
他半小时之前才吃了一块披萨
He was having a piece of pizza a half hour ago.
嘿为什么我们不试试那个按♥摩♥浴缸呢
Hey, why don't we try out that Jacuzzi now?
你觉得那些商人会带妓♥女♥去哪儿爽
Where do you think those businessmen take the prostitutes?
哪怕就一次我们就不能按我的想法做事
For once, can we do something I wanna do
而不会被你扫兴吗
without you making a fuss?
我都来这儿了对不对
I'm here, aren't I?
我就是希望咱们可以一起享受这一晚
I was just hoping we could enjoy a night together.
我自己很开心
I'm enjoying myself.
你也很开心到底有什么不满意的
You're enjoying yourself. What's the problem?
问题是你对我太不上心了
The problem is, you're completely oblivious.
你记不记得我50岁生日的那天想离开牧场
Do you remember when I wanted to go away for my 50th?
记得我们是离开牧场了啊
Yeah. We went away.
去了丹佛参加一个牲畜拍卖♥♥会
To Denver! To a cattle auction!
那都是注册过的奶牛 Maggie
Those were registered cows, Maggie.
你可以追溯到它们祖上10代
You can trace their lineage back ten generations.
你知道它们多珍贵嘛
You know how rare that is?
那是一段值得我们永远铭记的回忆
That was a memory we can share forever.
为什么所有值得铭记的回忆非要有奶牛呢
Why do all the memories we share have to involve cows?
我们做的都是你想做的事
We always do what you wanna do.
我们真的又要谈这个话题吗
Are we really having this conversation again?
你了解我喜欢做什么吗
Do you have any idea what I like to do?
显然不了解
Apparently not.
我不懂为什么我总觉得这次会不一样
I don't know why I keep thinking it's gonna be different.
这就是我们分居的原因
This is why we can't live together.
我们分居是因为你搬出去经营酒吧
We can't live together because you moved out to run a bar.
你真的这么认为吗
You really think that, don't you?
我只知道从你开始打理酒吧起
I know when you started running that thing,
你睡觉的时候我起床
when you were asleep, I was waking up,
我醒着的时候你要去睡觉
and when I was awake, you were going to bed.
你从来都不在我身边
You were never there.
哦 Beau
Oh, Beau,
即使是你人在我身边你心也不在
even when you were there, you were never there.
而且在开酒吧很久之前就这样了
And that was long before the bar.
你宁可拼了这身老骨头去拯救那个牧场
You would work yourself to the bone to save that ranch,
也不愿意动动手指去拯救我们的感情
but you won't lift a finger to save this relationship.
嫁给我的时候你就知道我是这样的
You knew who I was when you married me.
不我嫁给你的时候你可不像现在这样
No. You were not this person when I married you.
你过去会给我惊喜会制♥造♥浪漫
You used to surprise me, you used to be romantic, actually.
你至少会去做各种尝试
You used to try.
我们还是离开这吧
We should just go.
真的假的
Seriously?
这就是你对所有问题的回应吗
That's your response to this whole thing?
知道嘛
You know what?
我来这本想好好享受一番我确实也要这么做
I came here to have a good time and that's what I'm going to do.
你爱干嘛就干嘛
You can do whatever you want.
我要穿上睡袍喝杯美酒
I'm going to put on that robe, have a glass of wine,
把浴缸的按♥摩♥仪打开好好享受一段美妙时光
turn on those Jacuzzi jets, and have myself a good old time.
我懂了
Now I get it.
是为了防止我跳下去
It's so I don't jump.
谁想喝杯酒我用嘴叼给他
Who wants to do a shot... from my mouth?
我想
I do.
怎么回事哥们她是我带来的
What the hell, man? I brought her here.
你怎么回事哥们我有枪
What the hell, man? I have a gun.
你在用你的枪套装啤酒
You're using your holster to hold a beer.
是啊很酷炫是不是
Yeah. Pretty cool, huh?
等下我的枪去哪儿了
Wait, where's my gun?
有没有人要来
Anyone gonna do this?
哇似曾相识
Whoa, deja vu.
当年我就是因为这样才上的"警♥察♥秀"
This is how I ended up on Cops.
Phillips小姐你想不想我用嘴给你叼杯酒
Ms. Phillips, do you wanna do a shot out of my mouth?
还是算了
I'm gonna pass.