牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E05

Part 4 June 24, 2021, 11:21 a.m.

Blood was everywhere.
Rooster跑过来喊
Rooster came running up,
"爸爸 Colt要死了 Colt要死了你为什么要笑"
"Dad! Colt's dying, Colt's dying. Why are you laughing?"
是啊没什么比
Yeah, there's nothing
给13岁的小孩一把枪
funnier than givin' a firearm to a 13-year-old
然后让他搞清楚怎么用更有趣的事了
and letting him figure it out for himself.
嗯这真蠢
Yeah. It was pretty stupid.
你说得对
You were right.
哇哦
Wow.
这么多年我一直觉得说这话会要你命
All these years I thought it would kill you if you said that.
然而你居然真这么说了
And yet, here you are.
这真挺不错的我们以后得多出来打猎
This is pretty nice. We ought to hunt more often.
嗯我们可以把我们的怨气
Yeah, we take our aggression
撒到鸟的身上而不是彼此怨恨
out on the birds instead of each other.
你要知道哦我们房♥子现在是空的
You know, we got an empty house.
我还想到了另一种释放怨念的办法
I could think of another way to take our aggressions out.
我们走
Let's go.
啊啊啊别拽头发啊
Ah! Ah! Ah! No hair pulling!
没门
No rules!
啊好你自找的 - 我的蛋蛋
Ah! Fine! - My nuts!
那是啥
What's that?
是妈妈和爸爸吗
Is that Mom and Dad?
真"棒" 他们走了
Oh, great, they're leaving.
他们太讨厌你了不惜把我丢下
They hate you so much, they left me behind.
谢谢你 Drake
Thanks, Drake.
噢恭喜你今天确实打到了点东西
Oh, congratulations, you actually hit something today.
是吗我不仅仅想打这个
Yeah? That's not the only thing I'm about to hit.
嗯这不是平常喝的那种是不是
Mmm, this isn't the usual stuff, is it?
这是我放起来用于特殊场合喝的
It's something I had put away for a special occasion.
老了以后你变温柔了是不是
You're not getting soft in your old age, are ya?
别太激动你只能喝一杯
Don't get too excited. You only get one glass.
我把余下的存起来
I'm saving the rest in
等到John Elway突然拜访的时候喝
case we get a surprise visit from John Elway.
这次开放日过得还真不错啊
This turned out to be a pretty great opening day.
是
Yeah.
也许这会成为一个新传统
Maybe this ought to be the new tradition.
让儿子们去打猎就我们俩待在家里
Send the boys hunting, and we have the house all to ourselves.
你特么是个傻♥逼♥
You're a fucking idiot!
天我尽力了
Hell, I did my best.
让他俩置身荒郊野外的枪林弹雨中
Left them both out in the middle of nowhere with guns
他们居然还是活着回来了
and they still came back.
你本来走在水坑旁边的
You could have walked around the puddle,
但你就是踩进去好溅到我
but you walked through it just to splash me.
有什么区别呢我们反正都湿透了
What difference does it make? We're already soaking wet.
区别是如果你听过阻止我
The difference is, stop me if you've heard this before,
这象征着更大程度上 - 哦天哪
it's indicative of a larger... - Oh, my God!
闭嘴去你的象征
Shut up! And suck my indicative.
别穿着湿衣服进去
Don't go in there with wet clothes.
我们才不要扒光了进去
We're not gonna strip.
那你们不准进去
Then you're not going inside.
我要第一个洗澡 - 你当特么然的要
I'm getting the first shower. - Hell you are.
你开玩笑吗 - 什么
You kidding me? - What?
那特么的是我的内♥裤♥
Those are my fuckin' underwear.
看看谁来了
Look who showed up.
我还以为我得干所有活呢
Thought I was gonna do all the work by myself.
你知道的呀就跟过去15年一样
You know, like the last 15 years.
嗯我去找了找你的帽子
Yeah. I went looking for your hat.
真的
Seriously?
我让加油站的Mark给我看监控录像
I got Mark at the gas station to show me the security footage.
我给卡车加油的时候帽子还在呢
I still had your hat on while I was filling up the truck.
我正假装加油枪是我的丁丁
Was pretending the nozzle was my dick.
然后我又去了William家我勒了个去
So I ran over to William's place, and holy shit,
我看到他邻居在外面的
if his neighbor ain't out
前门戴着你的帽子修摩托车
front working on his bike wearing your hat.
啥 - 嗯
What? - Yeah.
大块头对吧
Big dude, right?
有纹身钱包上挂个链子
With tattoos, he had that chain coming from his wallet.
相当不好对付对吧
Real badass, right?
所以我看着那人我说 "我要你的帽子"
So I look at the guy, I says, "I want that hat."
然后他对我说
And he says to me,
"想要的话你来拿啊"
"You want this hat, you're gonna have to come take it."
所以我直接走到他面前
So I got right up in his face
问他泰国的首都是哪里
and I asked him what the capital of Thailand was
然后他说"什么" 我说"曼谷"
and he said, "What?" And I said "Bangkok,"
接着我踢了他的蛋蛋
Then I kicked him in the nuts.
一把抢过你的帽子跟个傻♥逼♥一样奔走了
I grabbed your hat and I ran like a little bitch.
总而言之帽子拿回来了
Anyway, here.
谢谢Colt 我真感动
Thanks, Colt. I appreciate this.
也许我说的其他事不全是你的错
Maybe that other stuff wasn't all your fault.
很可能我当时就跟个混♥蛋♥没两样
It's possible I was almost an asshole.
嗯是没两样啊
Yeah. Almost.
不过还有一件事 - 嗯
Just one thing though. - Yeah?
这不是我的帽子
This ain't my hat.
你确定
Are you serious?
而且
Also...
有个大块头骑着哈雷从车道那边开过来了
there's a giant guy on a Harley coming down the driveway.
开门啊兄弟
Oh, come on, man!