牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E11

Part 3 June 24, 2021, 11:22 a.m.

Rooster你闭嘴
Shut up, Rooster.
要不这样吧你们俩跟我们一起去看电影
Okay, you know what, why don't y'all come to the movies with us?
肯定很有意思
That'll be fun. Right?
当然不过他们得另外偷带啤酒进影院
Yeah, sure. They gotta sneak in their own beers though.
呃你们能让我们单独聊聊吗
Actually, um, can you guys give us a minute?
行 Rooster 咱们走吧
Yeah. Come on, Rooster. Let's go.
你还偷偷带啤酒去看电影呀
You're sneaking beers into a movie?
你把手伸进我裤子里就知道了
You have to reach in my pants and find out.
Colt 怎么回事
So what's going on, Colt?
没什么只是我今天不太顺
Nothing. I'm just... having a bad day.
我失去了我最爱的围巾
I lost one of my favorite scarves.
嗯记得我们答应过彼此要坦诚相待吗
Yeah. Remember when we said we'd be honest with each other?
嗯听好我只是最近脑子有点乱
Yeah. Look, I just...I got a lot of stuff going on.
我妈走了我爸又老欺负我
My mom just took off, my dad's been riding me,
再加上Abby昨晚来找我了
Abby came over last night...
又来了什么事都跟Abby有关
There it is. It always comes back to Abby.
她她只是顺路过来
Look, she... she just dropped by.
噢所以她能顺路过来我就不行
Oh, so she can drop by, I just can't?
完了
Oh, shit.
不她她只是有点事
No…She just... She's got some stuff going on
需要我的意见
and she needs some advice.
是吗那我呢 Colt
Yeah, but what about me, Colt?
或许我也受够看见你总是和
How about I'm tired of every time I turn around,
20年前的女朋友纠缠了
I'm face-to-face with your girlfriend from, like, 20 years ago.
更何况她现在还和别人订婚了
Who, by the way, is engaged to someone else.
有些事情没那么简单
Look, it's not that simple.
那我就帮你把事情变简单
Then let me make it simple for you.
如果Abby现在单身你得从我们之中选一个
If Abby was single right now and you could have either one of us,
你选谁
who would you choose?
我我不
I'm... I'm not...
正确答案是Heather
The right answer is Heather.
你真是不可理喻
No. You're unbelievable.
Heather 等等
Heather, wait.
谈得怎么样了准备好去看电影还是怎么的
Hey, how'd that go? You guys ready to go to the movie or what?
嘿我们能好好谈谈吗
Hey, can we just talk about this?
妈我们走吧马上
Mom, we gotta go. Now.
好吧抱歉Rooster 我得送她回家
Yeah. Sorry, Rooster. I gotta take her home.
好抱歉我弟弟是个混球
Well, sorry my brother's an asshole.
Heather别走你能不能听我说几句
Heather, stop. Will you just listen to me?
说什么 Colt
What, Colt?
呃
Uh...
秉着诚实的精神
In the spirit of total honesty,
老实说我以为你不会停下来
I didn't really think you were gonna stop.
你♥他♥妈♥在干嘛
What in the hell are you doin'?
噢我想着应该在老妈离开的这段时间里
Oh. Well, I thought it'd be a good idea to pick up Mom's plants,
把她的盆栽拿过来帮忙照料
bring them over here and take care of 'em while she's gone,
这样的话等她回来
you know, that way, when she comes back...
我突然意识到我这么做会让你很生气
Right now, I'm realizing this is just gonna piss you off.
别把盆栽放我这
I don't want 'em here.
嗯我懂你的意思但你也应该理解
Yeah. No, I get that, but here's the thing.
如果我把它们放在老妈的酒吧后面
If I leave them behind Mom's bar,
我每天就得穿过酒吧才能浇水对吧
that means I gotta walk through her bar to go get them, right?
一旦我走进酒吧
Now if I walk through the bar,
我就会停下来喝几杯
I'm gonna stop and have a couple drinks.
如果我喝多了虽然我还是会给它们浇水
If I stop to have a couple drinks, I'm still gonna water them,
但浇的什么水老妈就不一定会开心了
but probably not in a way that's gonna make Mom very happy.
我会尿在这些花上啊老爹
I'm gonna pee on 'em, Daddy.
如果她还在意这些盆栽就应该亲自照顾它们
If she cared about this stuff, she'd be here to look after it.
你说的没错
Yes. You are right.
所以得由我来照顾它们免得变成你的麻烦
That's why I'm gonna take care of it so it's not your problem.
还挺漂亮 - 是啊
They are beautiful. - Yeah.
让它们死了算了
Let 'em die.
最近怎么样啊 Maria 给我来两瓶啤酒
What's up, Maria? Can I get two beers?
噢我已经有一瓶了 - 很好
Oh, I already got one. - Cool.
最近怎么样啊 Maria 给我来两瓶啤酒
What's up, Maria? Can I get two beers?
可以五美元
Sure. But it's gonna be $5.
就因为老妈走了我就要开始付钱了吗
Just 'cause Mom's gone, I gotta pay now?
生无可恋
I got nothing to live for.
对啊 Maria 你不知道吗
Yeah, Maria, don't you know?
我们三兄弟喝酒都不要钱的
Me and my two brothers drink for free.
你去哪了
Where you been?
我刚在Mary家和她 Heather 还有Darlene一起吃晚餐
I was having dinner over at Mary and Heather and Darlene's house.
Mary给我做了一份非常好吃的炸鸡
Mary made me a nice plate of fried chicken
搭配着45分钟对你的咒骂
with a side of bitching about Colt for 45 minutes.
我还以为能在床上来一炮"甜点"
I assumed I was gonna get my dessert in the bedroom...
结果我只能在来路上的
instead I had a make-your-own sundae
加油站厕所里享用一份"自♥制♥圣代"
in the Exxon bathroom on the way over here.
你当时想着谁呢 Heather还是Jenson教练
Who were you thinking about? Heather or Coach Jenson?
两个都想到了 - 哇
Little bit of both. - Yeah.
她们说了我什么
What did they say about me?
呃大概就是说你是个自私自利的混帐东西
Um, well, they said that you're a selfish jackass
幼稚又傻♥逼♥ 还有就是呃
and, uh, an immature dickhead and that you, uh...
你是靠着超强防守才一路走到州冠军的
You rode a stellar defense all the way to the State Championship.
够了最后一个过分了
All right, that last one is out of line.
这是你自找的跟你说了不要跟她妈妈约会
It's your own fault. I told you not to date her mom.
没错嗯好吧是我咎由自取
Right. Yeah, okay. It's my fault.
哦趁我还记得 Heather叫我给你带个东西
Oh, before I forget, uh, Heather wanted me to give you something.
真的吗啥呀
Really? What?
大哥 - 我可是帮了你大忙呢
Dude! - You know, I just did you a solid.
她可是叫我踢你的蛋蛋呢
She told me to kick you in the balls.
嘿 Rooster - 还好吗 Abby
Hey, Rooster. - What's up, Abby?
噢 - Colt
Oh. - Colt.
嘿我们能谈谈吗
Hey. Can we talk?
不行 Kenny在停车一会儿就过来了
I can't. Kenny's parking the car. He'll be here any second.
好吧我们可以快点说我喜欢你这件衬衫
Okay. Well, we can talk fast. I like that shirt.
谢谢你的帽子也不错
Thanks. I like your hat.
明尼苏达斧人队换新香水啦 - 新乳液
Minnesota Axemen. New perfume? - Lotion.
椰子味的吗 - 芒果味的
Coconut? - Mango.
哦
Oh
你考虑咱俩的事了吗 - 考虑了
You think about us? - Yes.
作出决定了吗 - 没有
Make a decision? - No.
好吧我和Heather分手了所以咱俩可以在一起了
Okay. Heather and I broke up so we are good to go.
啥
What?
嘿 - Kenny 最近忙什么呐
Hey! - Kenny, what have you been up to?
哦没忙啥
Oh, not much.
刚从万怡的一个疯狂单身派对回来
Just came from a crazy bachelor party at the Marriott.
偷偷带脱衣舞娘进去在房♥里大肆破坏吗
Oh, wow. Sneak in strippers and trash the place?
不不不我们一起看了<单身汉>真人秀
No, no, no. It was a party where we all watched The Bachelor.
好可惜我最爱的两个选手被淘汰了
Sadly, I lost my top two draft picks
Rachel和Jessie没有得到玫瑰花
when Rachel and Jessie didn't get roses.
大哥别剧透啊
Dude! Spoiler.
但你看等我举办自己的单身派对时
But listen, when I have my real bachelor party,
你一定要来
you are definitely coming.
Kenny 我们不用拿婚礼的事来烦Colt啦
Kenny, we don't have to bore Colt with the wedding stuff.
你在搞笑吗
Are you kidding me?
这个镇子里谁能比
Who in this town knows more about
Colt Bennett更了解喝酒和开派对呢
drinking and partying than Colt Bennett?
我也不是那么爱玩啦
I'm not that big of a partier.
我其实是个很成熟且负责任的成年人
I'm actually a very mature, responsible adult...
我还有很多作为人生伴侣的优点
who has a lot of appealing qualities as a life partner.
说的跟真的似的
Yeah, right.
这话出自一个曾上过Garrison家野马的家伙
Says the guy who once sodomized the Garrison mustang.
嚄我可没上过那匹马喔你当时在场的
Whoa! I did not sodomize that horse. You were there.
我跑到它后面是想跳上去
I ran up behind it and tried to hop on.
只是没瞄准因为我喝大了
Except my aim was off 'cause I was drunk.
还光着身子
And naked.
浑身都是油但那是
Covered in Crisco, but that's...
喝大光着身子还浑身是油
Drunk, naked and covered in Crisco.
听起来就像我刚才那个单身派对
Sounds like the bachelor party I was at.
但你明明说你们在看<单身汉>
But you just said you were watching The Bachelor.