牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E18

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:23 a.m.

你♥爸♥估计一下子接受不了
your father's not gonna take it well.
我只求你告诉他的时候记得叫上我去旁观
So all I ask is that you let me be there when you tell him.
我的天哪
Holy shit!
你让我更难做决定了
You are not making my decision easy.
这简直就是我想象中的天堂
It's what I pictured heaven looking like.
除了你是没穿衣服的凯莉·安德伍德
Except you were naked, and you were Carrie Underwood.
这会是你的办公室
And this would be your office.
天哪
Holy shit!
我会有自己的性感助手吗
Do I get my own hot assistant?
没有
No.
显然你不知道我对"性感"的要求有多低
You obviously have no idea how low my bar is for "Hot."
哇所以这些屏幕是来监控整个牛群的吗
Wow, so, you got these screens to monitor the entire herd?
没错
Yep.
而且你可以用这辆全地形车来四处查看
And you got this ATV to get around...
拐角处还有你的私人浴室
and your own personal bathroom around the corner.
我去在牧场时我的私人浴室就是个拐角
Damn. Back on the ranch, my own personal bathroom is the corner.
你的一个牧场工人来了
And here comes one of your ranch hands.
呃嘿 UmBerto
Uh, hey, UmBerto.
嘿
Hey.
哎呀我去 Berto
Get the fuck outta here! Berto!
Gallo(西语的公鸡)
Gallo!
你好吗老兄
What's up, man?
看来你俩认识
I see you two guys know each other.
噢没错
Oh, hell, yeah!
Colt离开后 Berto在我家牧场工作了有10年
Berto worked on the ranch for like ten years after Colt left.
哥们我以为你回墨西哥了
Dude, I thought you went back to Mexico.
我回了在坎昆呆了两周
I did. Two weeks in Cancun.
在弗罗格先生酒吧激♥情♥对饮
Body shots at Senor Frogs.
我还上了MTV的春假特别报道
I was on MTV's Spring Break.
哇哦
Whoa!
然后我去诺曼山在蒙大拿州的牧场工作了
Then I went to work for Neumann's Hill on a ranch in Montana.
他们付我的薪水比Beau先生给的高多了
They pay much more than Mr. Beau.
千万别告诉Beau先生
Please do not tell Mr. Beau.
我们一周前才刚把UmBerto调过来
We just brought UmBerto down here about a week ago.
你都来一周了
You've been in town an entire week,
我们却还没出去喝个酩酊大醉呢
we haven't gone out and gotten drunk yet?
你♥他♥妈♥都干嘛呢 - 工作
What the hell you been doing? - Working.
真逊
Lame.
我是说我也一直工作呢我超有责任感的
I mean, me too. I've been working, too, 'cause I'm responsible.
嗯
Mmm.
Rooster有可能来我们团队做你的工头
Rooster here might be joining our family as your foreman.
需要我带他四处参观一下吗
You want me to show him around?
太棒了让他离羊群远点就行
Great. Just keep him away from the sheep.
好吧这笑话说得不错 Ed 回头我打给你
All right. Good one, Ed. I'll call you later, man.
我们没养羊
We don't have sheep.
不是他是说我喜欢干羊
No, he's saying I like to bang sheep.
噢好吧那你该带它们去
Oh, okay, then you should
三号♥摄像头和四号♥摄像头之间
take them between cameras three and four.
那有块盲区
There's a blind spot.
什么鬼
What?
怎么了
What?
我才不干羊呢
I don't fuck sheep.
Gallo Gallo
Gallo, Gallo...
没人指责你
no one's judging.
好吧哥们目前我只听了Ed的一堆废话
All right, man. Well, so far, I've only heard Ed's bullshit.
在这个小马宝莉牧场工作
Is it really as badass as it seems,
真的像看起来一样酷炫吗
working over here at My Little Pony Ranch?
简直棒呆了
It's incredible.
我们设备一流工时合理报酬丰厚
We have the best equipment, good hours, good pay.
对你说过了
Yeah, so you mentioned.
而且有的时候老板娘会去泡热水浴池
And sometimes, uh, the owner's wife gets in the hot tub...
裸上半身哦 - 哦
topless. - Oh!
一开始你会因为尴尬四处张望
At first, you are embarrassed and you look away,
但是她会说
but then, she says,
"没事你可以看哦"
"It's okay, you can look."
所以你看了起来
So you look.
每一环节都是我喜欢的
There's no part of that I don't like.
怎么样想转上一圈么
So, wanna take a look at the place?
好的伙计我们走吧
Yeah, man. Let's head out.
带我看看牧场还有公牛圈
Show me the pasture and the bull barn.
不过首先我们要在那个浴缸驻足片刻
But first, we should stop by that hot tub.
待会儿我会告诉你盲区在哪儿
Hey, then I'll show you the blind spot.
嘿 Colt 猜猜民♥主♥党放谁进来了
Hey, Colt. Look who the Democrats let in.
哦天啦 Berto - 嗨
Oh, man, Berto! - Hey...
嘿你在这干嘛
Hey, what're you doing here?
他现在在McConnell的老牧场那工作
Oh, man. He's working at the old McConnell ranch.
真的么哇那真不错
Seriously? Whoa, that's great.
Colt 真高兴见到你我是你的铁杆球迷
Colt, good to see you. You know, I followed your football career.
是啊我也曾经风光过啊
Yeah, yeah, I had a hell of a run.
是的那让我太难过了
Yeah... it made me very sad.
是啊
Yeah.
是啊 - 是啊
Yeah. - Yeah.
是啊
Yeah.
嘿你还记得Abby吧
Hey, you remember Abby? Right?
嗨 Berto - 嗨 Abby.
Hey, Berto. - Hey, Abby.
Gallo告诉我了虽然你现在和Colt在约会
Yeah, Gallo told me you were dating Colt now,
不过你其实偷偷地深爱着他
but you were secretly in love with him.
呃好吧 Rooster还觉得
Yeah, well, Rooster also thinks
Blake Shelton和Miranda Lambert
he's responsible for Blake Shelton
布雷克·谢尔顿著名乡村音乐人美国之声评审
米兰达·兰伯特美国乡村女歌♥手 ACM获得年度女歌♥手最多的艺人两人结婚四年后于2015年离婚
离婚是因为他呢
and Miranda Lambert breakin' up.
牢牢抓住她
Hold on to her...
千万别像你打橄榄球的表现一样
better than you did the football.
真是有趣
That's very funny.
哦这确实很有趣因为你
Oh, it's funny because you...
自己手滑和被人拦截的次数实在太多太多了
you fumbled and were intercepted, oh, so many times.
是我懂你的意思
Yeah, I got it.
甚至有的时候你还可以平地摔
Yeah, sometimes you even fell down on the field
哪怕根本没人靠近你啊
when no one was even near you.
兄弟真高兴你回来了
Man, it's good to have you back.
哦我的天你怎么在这
Oh, my God, look who's here.
Beau夫人你好啊
Oh, Mrs. Beau. Hola.
真高兴见到你好久都没人那么叫我了
It's good to see you. Nobody has called me that in ages.
我可一点都不怀念
I did not miss it.
我的错我不会再那么叫你了 Beau夫人
Sorry, I won't do it again, Mrs. Beau.
你想要喝什么吗 UmBerto
Can I get you something, Umberto?
当然我想浅尝一杯
Sure, I would like a sip
让你青春永驻容颜不老的美酒
from that fountain of youth you've been drinking from.
住嘴吧你
Oh, stop it!
是啊住嘴吧你
Yeah. Stop it.
哦我的天我们过去经常一块干傻事
Oh, my God. Man, we used to do the craziest shit back in the day.
对你还记得"拖拉机滑雪"么
Yeah, hey. You remember "Tractor Skiing"?
那是什么
What's that?
就是你把别人的滑板拴在拖拉机后然后开车拖着他
It's when you pull somebody in a pair of skis behind a tractor.
我应该猜都能猜出来的
I should have done the math on that.
它的升级版"卡车滑雪"才是真正疯狂
Yeah, it got real crazy when we elevated it to "Truck Skiing".
"卡车滑雪"就是 - 不用了我懂了
"Truck Skiing" Is when... - No, I got it.
兄弟你还记得当你踩着滑雪板滑过
Hey, man, remember the look on that cop's face
那个警♥察♥时他脸上的表情么
when you blew past him on a pair of skis?
你知道么每次我听到你们
You know, when I hear you
聊到你们曾经的"美好时光"时
guys talk about all the great times you had...
我满脑子就是 "男人们真是大傻♥逼♥"
all I can think is, "Guys are fucking idiots."
有道理 - 对我们确实就是傻♥逼♥
Hell, yeah. - Yeah, we are.
哦 Colt 我们应该走了
Oh, you know what? Colt, we should probably get going.
今晚家长会 - 对对
It's a school night. - Yeah, yeah.
哦你还在上学
Oh, you're still in school?
他我相信但是
Him, I believe, but...
不我现在是个老师
No, I'm a teacher now.
哦那些小男孩应该高兴坏了吧
Oh, the... the young boys must be, uh, very pleased.
对知道么兄弟
Yeah, check it out, man.