牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E09

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:22 a.m.

那我们就看看第一个疗程如何吧
Well, let's see how the first session goes.
你等一下不止一个疗程吗
Wait a minute. There's more than one?
那 Darlene 你是做什么工作的呢
So, Darlene, how do you scratch out a living?
我妈一个星期帮我看四天孩子
Well, four days a week, Mom watches the kids
那几天我就在养老院工作
and I work down at the nursing home.
绝大部分我的工作
Mostly, my job consists
都是在对付那些老顽童
of dealing with cranky senior citizens.
嗯哼我也是
Mmm-hmm. Hey, mine too.
你们是牧场工人对吗
You guys are ranchers, right?
对啊 Colt就在我的牧场工作
Yeah, Colt works on my ranch.
你喜欢牧场工人这份工作吗
You like being a rancher?
那你说耶稣喜欢当木匠吗
Did Jesus like being a carpenter?
你说什么
What?
不我的意思是
No, I'm just saying, you know,
这不是我自己可以选择的事更像是命中注定
I didn't choose it, it chose me.
牧场生活可不是儿戏
I mean, ranching game's tough, you know?
你得非常壮非常有肌肉
You gotta be strong, muscular,
但同时又得灵敏温和事事细心
but also sensitive, gentle, you know, with a real caring touch.
你♥他♥妈♥逗我呢吧
Are you fucking kidding me?
好吧我确实有些夸大其词了但是我
Well, I may have used some bold imagery, but I...
我的前男友刚刚
My ex just posted a picture
给我发了一张他和现任贱♥人♥女友的照片
with him and his skanky new girlfriend.
你看过这么垃圾的比基尼吗
Is that the trashiest bikini you've ever seen?
拜托你可比她身材好多了
Oh, come on, you are so much hotter than her.
对啊她们这也
Yeah. Well, they're... Those are...
那也太大了吧
That... Those are too big.
我应该也来帮你评判一下
I should, uh, probably weigh in on this.
这个混♥蛋♥
What an ass!
对啊真是个混♥蛋♥(那真是个美臀啊)
Yeah. What an ass.
Darlene 别想他了
Listen, Darlene, forget about him.
我们现在不是也聊的挺开心的吗
We're all having a good time here.
你说得对我很抱歉
You're right. I'm sorry.
没关系的他就是个可怜虫因为
Oh, that's all right. You know, he's the loser, 'cause...
我的约会对象可比他的漂亮多了
my date's way prettier than his.
我猜的因为毕竟我还没看过那张照片
I'm guessing, 'cause I didn't really get to see the picture.
你♥他♥妈♥是在耍我吗
Are you shitting me?
这是埃菲尔铁塔吗
Is that the Eiffel Tower?
天啊他带她去拉斯维加斯了吗
Whoa! He took her to Vegas?
这个混♥蛋♥是我其中一个孩子的父亲
This asshole, the father of one of my children,
现在竟然要跟这个荡♥妇♥结婚
is getting married to this dick garage.
好吧我现在有点喜欢这个妞了
All right, man, I like this chick.
我再也不会结婚了
I'm never getting married.
我已经可以预见到我的将来
I'm gonna be one of those pathetic losers
就是一个足不出户的可怜虫
who lives at home forever.
你懂的家庭就是这样子的
Oh, you know, that's just like family...
没有什么可耻的
There's no shame in that.
相聚也是一种 - 埃菲尔他妈的铁塔
Togetherness is really a move... - Eff my effing L!
Darlene
Darlene...
她看起来挺冷静的
Well, she seems stable.
真的不是开玩笑
Yeah, no kidding.
那个照片上的妞怎么样
Hey, how's that chick, huh?
她是不是胸很大
She got them tig ol' bitties?
我得去再拿一瓶
I'm gonna get another round.
两瓶
Two.
我去你好啊 Abby
Oh, shit. Hey, Abby.
你好 Colt 刚刚你桌子那边怎么一直在大呼小叫的
Hey, Colt. What is all that yelling coming from your table?
那个啊是Rooster在相亲
Oh, yeah, Rooster's on a blind date.
明白了
Got it.
呃Kenny在哪儿呢
Uh, where's, uh, Kenny?
每个星期五她都会蹲在这里
On Fridays, she waits here
等他从万怡酒店出来
for him to get off from the Marriott.
然后一般他们都会去看场电影
And then, they usually go see a movie.
很抱歉我对我的朋友很关心
Sorry for me taking an interest in my friends.
我看你和Heather现在还在一起啊
I see you're still with Heather.
你俩约会的时候她是不是都点儿童套餐啊
So, when you guys go out, does she order off the kids' menu?
不是啊除非他们有蜡笔
No, as long as they have crayons
她就可以在餐垫上画画了可开心
so she can draw on the place mat, she's happy.
你在干什么你就整天坐在这儿
What do you do, you just sit around
想这些东西吗
all day and think these things up?
是啊尤其是当我看着那帮被留校察看的孩子们
Yeah, in detention I run 'em by the kids.
你知道因为他们跟Heather一样大
You know, 'cause they're the same age as Heather.
这梗是我的我先想到的
That one's mine. I just came up with that.
归你了
I'll give you that one.
嘿我收到你的短♥信♥了
Hey, uh, I got your text.
你的卡车还是有噪音吗
Your... your truck's still making that... noise?
是啊我照你说的换了风扇皮带
Yeah. I replaced the fan belt like you said
但还是有噪声
but, uh, it's still doing it.
声调很高吗就像这样
Is it like a high pitch... Like a...
不更像这样
No, it's more like a...
你开的是卡车还是熊呢
You drivin' a truck or a bear?
嘿要不然你把车开到我家来吧
Hey, you know what? Bring it by the house.
我帮你看看
I'll take a look at it.
谢了我会的 - 没事
Thanks, I will. - Yeah.
你不用回去陪你女朋友吗
Don't you have to get back to your date?
他倒想
He wants to...
但是Rooster的伴儿跟她前男友分手了
but Rooster's date's all broken up about her ex.
Hank 你这
Oh, Hank, you gotta...
实际上他说的对
Actually, he's right.
下次见 Ab
Hey. I'll see ya, Ab.
拜拜
See you.
嘿
Hey.
Darlene去哪儿了
Where's Darlene?
她真的很不开心我觉得我该带她回家了
She's really upset. I think I gotta take her home.
该死
Damn.
没关系我送她回家
That's all right. I'll get her home.
你确定吗 - 当然啊没事的
Are you sure? - Yeah, I don't mind.
你们俩好好玩吧
You guys have fun.
谢谢你
Thank you.
你带她回家之后
Um, and once you get her home,
妈妈会照顾好她的
Mom can take care of the rest of it.
嗯哼 - 我去带她过来
Mmm-hmm. - I'll get her.
嘿
Hey.
还记得我们说好的吗
Remember what we talked about.
别惹事搞砸我和Heather的关系
I don't want anything messing things up with me and Heather.
放轻松我会做个完美绅士的
Relax, man, I will be a complete gentleman.
对了我能借几块钱去买♥♥套套吗
Hey, can I borrow a couple quarters for the condom machine?
大哥
Dude!
我开玩笑的我已经买♥♥了
I'm kidding... I already got some.
大哥
Dude!
我开玩笑的老弟你知道我都不戴套的
I'm joking, man. Shit, you know I don't use condoms.
嗨 Priscilla
Hi, Priscilla.
嗨 Maggie 还有Beau
Hi, Maggie. Hello, Beau.
很高兴你们两个还是决定过来了
Glad you two decided to come.
我可不会躺在长沙发上
I'm not laying on a couch.
好吧我这儿可没有长沙发
Well, I don't even have a couch in here.
哪有心理医生连长沙发都没有的呢
What kind of a therapist doesn't have a couch?
好了现在我要说的是虽然这是我家
Now, I should start by saying that, though this is my home,
请把它当成完全的专业场所
please consider it a completely professional place.
额不过呢我必须说明
Uh, however, I do ask that if you need
如果要去厕所请务必敲门
to use the restroom, please knock,
因为我的儿子Justin正值青春期最近在"探索"他的身体
as my teenage son, Justin, recently discovered his body.
好了那么
Okay, so...
我们来谈谈你们的婚姻吧
let's talk about your marriage.
我都不确定我们这个还叫婚姻
I'm not even sure what we have can be called a marriage.
真是帮了大忙啊 Beau
Real helpful, Beau.
实际上确实是帮了大忙
Actually, it's very helpful.
你做的很好 Beau
Very good, Beau.
他觉得你们两个的事都不算婚姻
He believes that you two are not in a marriage.
现在我要鼓励你们双方都说出真实感受
Now, I encourage you both to say how you're feeling.
我的真实感受是想回家
I'm feeling like going home.