牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E15

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:23 a.m.

太糟糕了
Boy, that's too bad.
真是太糟糕了
Boy, that's too bad.
你干什么呢
The hell are you doing?
为他和我们谈起Abby做练习
Practicing for when he tells us about Abby.
嗨 Rooster Colt
Hey, Rooster. Colt.
嗨 Kenny 最近如何
Hey. Kenny, how you doing?
我还好
Ah, I'm all right.
不知你们听说没我和Abby分手了
Hey, uh, I don't know if you heard, but Abby and I broke up.
真是太糟糕了
Boy, that's too bad.
谢谢
Thanks.
你知道不论接下来是谁和Abby在一起
Yeah, you know, whoever, uh, Abby ends up with next,
跟你比都只会更差
man, that's gonna be a huge downgrade.
是啊
Yeah.
我不知道他会不会差这么多
I don't know if he's gonna be a huge downgrade.
不他会成为一个彻头彻尾的大傻瓜
Oh, no, no. He'll be a fucking idiot.
你们想和我坐一桌吗
You guys wanna grab a table?
啊其实我们得走了
Uh, actually, you know, we gotta... we gotta get going.
哦不我们不走
Oh. No, we don't.
来吧我们的朋友处在伤痛中
Come on, man. Our friend's hurtin'.
你为什么非得当混♥蛋♥不可
Why you gotta be such an asshole?
不是非得当是享受当
Oh, I don't "Gotta be," I just enjoy it.
好吧 Ken仔告诉我们你的新闻
All right, Ken-Dog. Give us the scoop.
这事毫无缘由地发生了
It just... happened out of nowhere.
我们在计划婚礼
I mean, we were planning the wedding,
我们刚发出请柬然后
we just sent out the save-the-date cards and...
我现在该怎么办
and what am I supposed to do now?
再发一张"我不结婚了
Send out "Do whatever you want
随便你干嘛"卡吗
that date 'cause I'm not getting married" Cards?
最糟糕的是我甚至不知道她为什么这么做
I mean, the worst part is, I don't even know why she did it.
我觉得还是别知道的好
Yeah, I find it's better to not know.
大标题应该是"前进"
But the headline is "Move on."
我希望我可以但我目之所及都是她
I wish I could, but she's everywhere I look.
昨晚我工作完回家打开电视
Last night, I come home from work, turn on the TV.
发现在重播唐顿庄园(Abbey与Abby音相似)
What's on? A re-run of Downton Abbey.
上周我还是玛丽现在变成了伊迪斯
Last week, I was Lady Mary, now I'm Lady Edith.
这
That's...
你看的什么鬼频道
What the fuck channels you watch?
你知道你需要什么吗
Hey. You know what you need?
娱乐体育节目频道
Espn.
一个男人之夜
A guys' night.
听起来不错反正我也没有单身派对了
Oh, that'd be cool. I'm not gonna have a bachelor party now.
单身派对总是被高估了
Yeah, man. Bachelor parties are overrated anyway.
一旦激♥情♥过后
I mean, once all the fun is done,
你还是得带着脱衣舞娘去沃格林商店
you still gotta take that stripper to the Walgreens,
等她尿在验孕棒上
wait for her to pee on a stick.
好吧就这么办
All right. Yeah. Let's do it.
这周末怎么样
How about this weekend?
太他妈棒了怎么怪怎么来
Hell yeah, man. We're gonna get fucking weird.
就这么来
Yeah, we are.
你知道我嘛
You know, I...
你们你们玩吧
You guys... you guys have fun.
听起来很棒不过我另有计划所以
It sounds awesome. I got plans, so...
怎么有约吗 - 就是你有约吗Colt
What, you got a date? - Yeah, Colt. You got a date?
有吗我有约吗没有
Do I? Did I get a date? No.
我的意思是我跟一只
I mean, well, I got a, uh, date
需要播种的母牛有约了
with a cow that needs inseminating.
不是从我这取种
I mean, not by me.
当然我会把手放进去然后
I mean, sure, I'm gonna put my arm up in there and...
做
Do the...
我自有办法所以
I got plans. So...
拜托伙计
Oh, come on, man.
一个没有Colt Bennett的畅饮之夜
A night of drinking without Colt Bennett?
就像没有加里森·凯勒的<大家来我家>
That's like A Prairie Home Companion without Garrison Keillor.
你到底看的是什么鬼频道
What the fuck channels do you watch?
Jerry来了
Oh, well, Jerry's here.
我不敢相信这一切
I can't believe this.
我从没想过自己会离婚
I didn't think I'd ever get a divorce.
我从没想过自己会让一个律师到我的地盘上
I didn't think I'd ever let a lawyer on my property.
嗨 Maggie 见到你真高兴
Hey, Maggie. Good to see you.
千万别动手 Beau
Don't you, Beau.
别给我理由 Jerry
Don't give me a reason to, Jerry.
你好么 - 真高兴见到你
How are you? - Good to see you. Good.
真冷啊啊 - 对啊
Whoa, huh? - Yeah.
运气好的话明年四月前我的蛋就能解冻了
Any luck, my nuts will thaw by April.
简直不敢相信我已经这么久没见过你俩了
I can't believe that it's been so long since I've seen you both.
对呀老天还记得我们的儿子多喜欢在一起玩么
Yeah. God, remember how our boys loved playing together?
对啊 - 你儿子现在还好么
Yeah. - How are yours doing?
嗯 Kevin是一个矫正外科医生
Yeah, well, um, Kevin is an orthopedic surgeon.
谢谢你
Thank you.
而Brett 呃
And, um, Brett,
他在硅谷的
he is, uh, working in one of those,
一家创业公♥司♥上班
uh, start-up jobs in Silicon Valley.
哦 - 对
Oh. - Yeah.
Colt和Rooster在干嘛
How about Colt and Rooster?
一样 - 哦
The same. - Oh.
好吧
Well, great.
恩这应该不用花太长时间
Yeah, this shouldn't really take long,
这应该非常简单
should be pretty darn easy.
一般我是管遗嘱方面的
I generally do wills.
不过这有点像
But this is sort of like,
你知道的婚姻的死亡所以
you know, the death of a marriage, so...
如果你不喜欢这个笑话
If you don't like that,
那你应该也不会喜欢我的其他笑话了
you're not gonna like any of my other jokes, either.
给你讲个笑话吧 - 好啊
I got one for you. - Okay.
我们怎么称呼一个在靶场的律师
What do they call a lawyer at the gun range?
靶子
A target.
那我们怎么称呼一个毁你笑话的律师呢
What do they call a lawyer that ruins your damn joke?
呃好吧你在
Well, you're...
那我们该怎么叫一个
How about a rancher that tells
每次见你都讲同一个傻笑话的牧场主呢
you the same damn joke every time he sees you?
休战吧哈
All right, huh?
好吧
Okay.
让我们开始干活吧
Let's get down to some business here.
呃
Um...
没理解错的话Maggie将继续拥有那间酒吧
My understanding is that the bar will remain in Maggie's name.
然后至于这个牧场的归属问题
And then, as... as far as the, uh, ownership of the ranch.
Maggie 你可以直接签字把你那一半转给Beau
Maggie, you're just gonna sign your half over to Beau.
事实上我又考虑了一下
Actually, I've thought about it,
我要把我的那一半给Colt和Rooster
and I want to give my half to Colt and Rooster.
你要干嘛
You're gonna do what?
那是我的一半我打算把它给我儿子
It's my half, and I want to give it to the boys.
我宁愿你送给那些母牛它们还值得
I'd rather you gave it to the cows, they earned it.
你知道么事实上你可以把钱都留给一只动物
You know, actually, you can leave money to an animal.
在大章克辛有一只猫
There is a cat in Grand Junction,
身价近50万刀
that is worth almost half a million dollars.
我以为这一切会很简单
I thought this was gonna be easy.
可是跟你在一块儿就没简单事
Well... nothing with you is easy.
跟我在一块儿不简单
Nothing with me is easy?
只要你不会谈话谈一半
I'll be lucky if you don't skip town
又放我鸽子就谢天谢地了
in the middle of this conversation.
你知道么
You know what?
我把你俩都当做好友
I consider both of you to be friends,
但你俩意见不统一
but you guys are not on the same page.
所以我就直说了
So I'm just gonna tell you this straight away.
如果你们不能解决这个问题
If you can't settle this,
你们就只能把牧场卖♥♥了把钱分掉
you're gonna have to sell the ranch and split the money.
我们意见很统一
We're on the same page.
快给Maggie说她不能把她那一半给那俩傻小子
Just tell Maggie she can't give her half to the boys.
但是事实上她可以
Except, actually, she can.
哦你丫闭嘴吧 Jerry
Oh, shut the fuck up, Jerry.