牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E03

Part 4 June 24, 2021, 11:21 a.m.

What?
我有男朋友了
I have a boyfriend.
谁 Kenny
Who? Kenny?
对 Kenny
Yeah, Kenny.
他是个好人而且我爱他
He's a good guy and I love him.
那你为什么总是找理由来我这
Okay, then why do you keep making excuses to come out here?
你知道吗算了
You know what? Forget it.
我只是想和你成为朋友但别担心
I was just trying to be your friend, but don't worry,
我放弃了
that won't happen again.
这是你的
Here you go.
这是什么鬼东西 - 你的晚饭
What the hell is this? - Your dinner.
这才不是我的晚饭
This is not my dinner.
这是我要喂我"晚饭"吃的泔水
This is what I feed my dinner.
我要抓拍这珍贵的时刻
I gotta capture this moment.
就像是抓拍大脚怪正从树林里走出来
It's like if you got a shot of Bigfoot coming out of the woods.
嘴里还吃着沙拉
And he was eating a salad.
大家好
Hey, everybody.
在有请Fitzgerald教练之前
Now, before I bring out Coach Fitzgerald,
我们先颁发第一个抽奖结果如何
how about we give away our first raffle prize?
任意一家万怡酒店免费入住一天
A free night's stay at any Courtyard by Marriott.
好耶
Yeah.
很好是谁捐助的呢
That's nice. Who donated that?
好了
All right.
奖品得主是
And the winner is...
Maggie Bennett
Maggie Bennett!
我的天
Oh, my God!
恭喜你快去领奖吧
Good for you. Go get your prize.
哦
Oh!
要怎样你才愿意把肉丸让给我
What do you want for that meatball?
我一周不用铲屎
I don't shovel shit for a week.
成交
Done.
就算是一个月我也成交
I'd have given you a month.
现在给大家准备了一个超级惊喜
And now, a big surprise for everyone.
加里森高校历史上最伟大的四分卫
The greatest quarterback in Garrison High School history,
Colt Bennett
Colt Bennett!
Colt
Colt!
谢谢
Thank you.
让我想问问你们
Let me ask you a question.
谁是科罗拉多州
Who's the best high school
最棒的高校橄榄球队
football team in the state of Colorado?
Garrison
Garrison!
谁会在这周把Norwood队打得落花流水
And who's gonna kick Norwood's ass this week?
Garrison
Garrison!
谁将一路过关百战百胜
Who's going all the way to State?
Garrison
Garrison!
谁将完成本次赛季
Who's going to finish the season
然后意识到他们大好青春早已随之而去
and realize their best years are behind them?
Garrison
Garrison...
他是喝醉了吗
Is he drunk?
平常也这样
No more than usual.
谁会作为一个职业橄榄球员金盆洗手
And who's gonna wash up as a professional football player...
搬回家和自己老爹住
and then have to move back home with his dad,
结果发现他的女朋友
and then find out that his girlfriend
已经在和乐队的小子约会
is dating someone from the band?
Garrison
Garrison!
嘿
Hey.
你是高中生吗
You a senior?
谢谢谢谢
Ah! Thank you! Thank you!
冲啊野马
Go Mustangs!
我可以解释的警官
I can explain everything, sir.
我没超速
I was not speeding.
你知道吗我要找律师她说自己满十八了
You know what? I want a lawyer. She said she was 18.
Bennett 是你吗
Bennett? Is that you?
啤酒乓Billy
Beer Pong Billy!
你好啊
Hey!
我的天呐
Oh, my God!
老兄
Man!
你最近过的如何
What've you been up to?
我给大学投了申请
Well, you know, I applied to college.
没被录取
Didn't get in.
给一些快餐店投了简历
Applied to a few fast food restaurants.
也没被应聘
Didn't get in there either.
所以只好当警♥察♥了
So now I'm a cop.
真难以置信
That's awesome. Hey...
你大老远跑来这里做什么
what're you doing all the way out here?
逼停开拖拉机的醉鬼
Pulling over a drunk guy driving a tractor.
太棒了因为
That's amazing, 'cause...
我貌似有点醉了
I'm, like, maybe, like, a little bit drunk,
我也开拖拉机
and I'm driving a tractor,
我也刚被一辆警车逼停
and I just got pulled over by a cop.
好像我们在做同一件事似的
It's like we're doing the same thing.
我有个主意
Hey, hey, I got an idea.
我们来演戏
Let's run a play!
不如我们直接坐上警车后座
How about we just get in the back of my cop car
然后尽量别吐在里面
and try not to throw up.
没问题但先照我说的做
Yeah, we'll get to that. But first, let's do my idea.
Bennett - Omaha
Bennett! - Omaha!
兄弟住手
Hey! Hey, dude, stop!
Colt 别这样我车上有摄像头
Colt! Come on, dude! My car has got a camera on it.
你会让我看起来像个蠢蛋
You're gonna make me look like an idiot!
嘿还记得高中时
Hey! Hey! Remember in high school
我们在那什么
when we were at, um, what...
Amy Plummer的房♥子里
Amy Plummer's house,
你往她的烘干机里扔了一坨屎
and you took a dump in her dryer?
扔完我们就跑回去玩优诺纸牌
And then we just went back to playing Uno
装作什么都没发生
like nothing ever happened?
是洗衣机我可不是禽兽
It was her washer, man. I'm not an animal.
老兄你真是传奇
Oh, man, you're a legend!
你到底怎么了 - 我吗
What the hell's wrong with you? - Me?
高中是我最风光的时候
I peaked in high school.
好吧你看起来也没事
Yeah, well, it seems like you're doing just great.
来吧上车
Come on. Get in the car.
不是吧
Oh, come on!
就因为我把手插♥进♥你屁♥股♥里所以逮捕我
You're arresting me for sticking my hands in your butt?
我没有逮捕你我只是想送你回家
Man, I'm not arresting you. I'm just gonna get you home.
来吧 - 真的
Come on. - Really?
你真是个好人啤酒乓
You're a good guy, Beer Pong.
这是什么格洛克手♥枪♥吗 - 还给我
What is this? A Glock? - Gimme that!
随你怎么说那场演讲孩子们永生难忘
Say what you want, those kids are gonna remember that speech.
我们得坐下和他谈谈
We need to sit and talk with him.
好吧我不知道该怎么办我什么都试过了
Well, I'm at a loss. I've tried everything.
你只是冲他发火把他赶了出去
You've tried yelling at him and kicking him out.
如我所说我什么都试过了
Like I said, I've tried everything.
啤酒乓来了
Here comes Beer Pong.
真庆幸是Billy找到了他
Well, if someone had to find him, I'm glad it was Billy.
咋了啤酒乓准备还欠我的五十块了吗
What's up, Beer Pong? You got that 50 bucks you owe me?
你还在卖♥♥大♥麻♥给高中生吗 Rooster
You still sellin' weed to high school kids, Rooster?
好吧咱两扯平了
All right. Even Stevens.
说真的我还能打破最高纪录
I'm serious. I can beat my high score.
这不是游戏手柄 Bennet 是呼吸测醉器
It's not a video game, Bennett. It's a breathalyzer.
"这不是游戏手柄 Bennet 这是呼吸测醉器"
"It's not a video game, Bennett. It's a breathalyzer."
你以前那么潇洒来着啤酒乓
You used to be so chill, Beer Pong.
谢谢你 Billy
Thank you, Billy.
是在68号♥公路上发现他的
Picked him up on Route 68.
你们的拖拉机也还在那里
That's where you'll find your tractor.
我们的拖拉机在谷仓里
Our tractor's in the barn.
该死
Damn it.
嘘
Shh!
怎么了
What's up?
我偷了Billy的泰瑟枪
I stole Billy's Taser.
不好笑兄弟