牧场趣事（2016）
The Ranch
第二季
剧集 | 牧场趣事（2016） | 导航列表
牧场趣事（2016）
The Ranch S02E01
Part 1
June 24, 2021, 11:36 a.m.
怀孕了
Pregnant?
好吧
Okay.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我知道现在说这个不合适 可是
I know this isn't the best time, but...
我必须告诉你
I had to tell you.
那么 圣诞快乐 柯尔特
So... Merry Christmas, Colt.
你只是
Is it... Is it just...
起床时想吐吗
You got morning sickness?
这个星期我每天都吐
'Cause I've thrown up every day this week.
我把药店所有测孕用的东西都买♥♥了
I bought every pregnancy test Walgreens had.
只有四个 因为上星期有学校冬季舞会
Which was only four 'cause winter formal was last week.
那些东西不一定准
You know that those things aren't always accurate.
你看医生了吗
Did you go... Did you see a doctor?
看了 医生说我怀孕了
Yeah. He said I was pregnant.
你还好吧
You okay?
我没事
I mean, I'm all right.
有点懵
A little overwhelmed.
我第一个就告诉了你
You're the first person I've told.
是啊 我很高兴你这么做了
Yeah, I'm glad you did.
我得喝一杯
You know, I'm... I'm gonna need a drink.
你要什么吗
Do you want something to drink?
不知道 我要开车 路有点滑而且
I don't know. I'm drivin', and the roads are kind of icy, and...
我还怀着身孕
you know, I'm pregnant.
该死
Shit.
柯尔特 - 怎么了
Colt? - Yeah?
正开过来的不是你♥妈♥的♥车吗
Isn't that your mom's Jeep comin' up?
我该走了 - 不 不用 没关系
You know, I should go. - Yeah. Uh, no. No, no, it's fine.
别表现出怀孕了就行
Just, uh... just don't act pregnant.
我能开车
I would have been okay to drive.
博 你对那个给救世军募资的人
Beau, you flipped off the guy
竖了中指
who was raising money for the Salvation Army.
摇个破铃铛可算不上军人
You don't get to be in the army by ringing a fucking bell.
本奈特先生和夫人你们好 圣诞快乐
Hi, Mr. And Mrs. Bennett. Merry Christmas.
你好 海瑟 节日快乐
Hi, Heather. Happy holidays.
"节日快乐"
"Happy holidays."
别扯什么政♥治♥ 是"圣诞快乐"
Don't start that PC crap. It's "Merry Christmas."
嘿 我也有这款雪地靴
Hey, I have those Uggs, too.
别告诉别人 我爱死这鞋了
Don't you tell anyone. I love 'em.
好怪 老爸醉酒回家而我没醉
This is... weird. Dad's coming home drunk and I'm sober.
我没喝醉 就是过节开心一下
I'm not drunk. I'm festive.
这可是圣诞节呢
It's fucking Christmas.
帮我一把
Would you give me a hand?
亲爱的 要进来吗
Honey, would you like to come inside?
不用了 我在外面等着就行
Oh, no, it's okay. I'm... I'm gonna wait out here.
见到你很高兴 节日快乐
Well, it was nice seeing you. Have a great holiday.
看看我 我参军了
Look at me, I'm in the army!
再怎么着也应该是救世海军啊
If anything, it ought to be the Salvation Navy.
那帮家伙就是些怂蛋
Those guys are a bunch of pussies.
要喝水吗 - 喝
Dad, do you want a water? - Yeah.
加冰和威士忌
Put some ice and some Jim Beam in there, too.
嘿 你没事吧
Hey, are you okay?
海瑟怎么来了
What's Heather doing here?
把她侄子的圣诞礼物放在这里
Oh, uh... she left some presents here for her nephew.
免得被他发现
Uh, so he wouldn't find them.
好吧
Okay.
圣诞节还跟你妈撒谎 没事
Lie to your mother on Christmas. It's fine.
但愿你要跟她说的都说完了 因为她走了
I hope, whatever it was, you were done, 'cause she's leaving.
该死
Shit!
嘿 艾比
Hey, Ab.
对 不 我
Yeah, yeah. No, I, uh...
我有点事 一会儿就到
I got held up here. I'll, uh... I'll be right there.
好的
Okay. Yeah.
拜拜
Bye.
妈的
Fuck.
好了 终于把孩子们哄睡了
Okay, finally got those kids asleep.
我每年都说"今年不用止咳药水"
Every year I say, "This time, I am not using the cough syrup."
我每年都用
Every year I do.
达琳的孩子攻克癌症的几率有多大
Ah, well, what were the odds Darlene's kids were gonna cure cancer?
攻克吗 他们会拼这词我就很高兴了
Cure it? No, I'd be happy if they could spell it.
你今晚过得如何
So, how was the rest of your night?
还好 我说不上来
Ah, it was all right. I don't know.
记得小时候过圣诞节吗 那是最棒的
Remember Christmas as a kid? It was the best, you know.
可以玩游戏和玩具 还有
You got games and toys and...
比利叔叔会灌你啤酒 看你出洋相
Uncle Billy gave you a couple of beers, watched you run into shit.
长大了 圣诞节就只有内♥裤♥和家人了
As an adult, all you get is underwear and your family.
我把你的衣服洗了
Mmm, I've done your laundry.
对你来说内♥裤♥是份不错的礼物
Underwear's a good gift for you.
出什么事了吗
Did somethin' happen?
是的 可我不想说
Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.
顺便说一声 我在加油站买♥♥了点东西
Oh, by the way, I stopped by the gas station.
给达琳的孩子们的礼物
Got some stockin' stuffers for Darlene's kids.
真的吗 你大可不必的
Really? You didn't have to do that.
要是我的礼物你也是从那儿买♥♥的
And if you got my gift there,
你最好赶紧用那些油开车走
you can use the gas you bought to get the fuck out of here.
别紧张 你的礼物我早就准备好了
Relax, I got your present weeks ago.
在巴斯户外用品店买♥♥的
Bass Pro Shops.
不 我只是开车过去买♥♥点饮料
No, I just swung through to grab a Big Gulp,
然后帮外面几个小孩买♥♥了点烟赚了10块钱
and I made ten bucks buyin' some cigarettes for some kids outside.
他们的笑脸让我想起了你的孙子孙女
The smile on their faces reminded me of your grandkids.
加油站便利店买♥♥圣诞礼物
Stocking stuffers from the gas station...
这就是我想象中的白人垃圾的圣诞节
I'm dreaming of a white trash Christmas.
要是我再见到你 我就砍下你的脑袋
If I see you again, I'll cut off your head
等到了春天 土狼操你眼窝子的时候
and they won't find it 'till spring
你的脑袋才会被人发现
when some coyote is skull-fucking your eye socket!
行了 谁准备好去教堂了
All right. Who's ready for church?
他不来了
Yeah, he's not comin'.
谁 你居然那样跟圣诞老人讲话
Who? You talking that way to Santa?
我前男友 杰森 废柴一个
My ex, Jason. Deadbeat asshole.
我想送卢克自行车 可他坚持说他会买♥♥
I said I wanted to get Luke a bike, but he insisted he'd get it,
现在已经平安夜了 毛都没见着
and now it's Christmas Eve and nothin'.
太好了 好极了
Well, perfect. Perfect!
等明天卢克拆礼物时
Tomorrow morning, Luke's gonna come down to open up his gift
会收到头盔却没自行车
and find a helmet and no bike.
他会觉得自己也是那种需要戴头盔的残疾儿童
He's gonna think he's one of those kids who needs to wear a helmet.
没人呕吐 没人中枪
Well, nobody threw up. Nobody got shot.
今年圣诞节对本奈特一家来说还不错
It's a pretty damn good Christmas for the Bennetts.
沙发一直在动
This couch doesn't stop moving,
兴许还会有人吐的
somebody is still liable to throw up.
我只是说
All I'm sayin' is,
平安夜跟家人在一起很棒
it was nice to be with family on Christmas Eve.
是啊
Yeah.
可惜不是其他人的家人
Too bad it wasn't someone else's family.
听着 我知道事情不如你愿 但是
Look, I... I know it didn't turn out the way you wanted, but...
你对公鸡真的很关心
the way you reached out to Rooster, that was really sweet.
不说这个行吗 事情过去了
Can we not talk about it? It's over.
我知道他很固执
I know he's bein' stubborn.
不出意外 他非常像你
Shouldn't come as a surprise, he's a lot like you.
他根本不像我
He's nothin' like me.
我爸把那把刀给我时
My father gave me that knife.
我说 "谢谢 父亲" 还跟他握了手
I said, "Thank you, sir," And shook his hand.
这是你跟我分享过的最温馨的回忆了
Wow. You know, that's the warmest memory you ever shared with me.
那晚晚些时候
And later that night,
我就用那把刀插♥进♥了
I stuck it through a possum's head
一只啃我妈花♥园♥植物的负鼠的脑袋里
that was eatin' my mother's garden.
公鸡会来的
Look, Rooster'll come around.
柯尔特已经来了 到时候热情欢迎他就行了
Colt did. Just be there to welcome him.
我正对一个
Oh, I realize I'm saying this to a man
将鲁道夫当作平权法案例的人说这话
who once referred to Rudolph as an affirmative action case.
公鸡不愿跟牧场扯上关系
You know, first, Rooster doesn't want to be part of this ranch.
现在他也不愿跟这个家扯上关系
Now he doesn't want to be part of this family.
牧场趣事（2016）
The Ranch
剧集 | 牧场趣事（2016） | 导航列表