牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E19

Part 1 June 24, 2021, 11:23 a.m.

嘿 - 怎么样
Hey. - What's up?
你是在弄炒鸡蛋嘛
You got there scrambled eggs, huh?
呃它本来是个双面煎蛋
Well, they started off over easy
结果我开始想到老爸
and then I started thinking about Dad.
你是跟他说了那个工作了对吧
Told him about the job, did you?
他说什么了
What'd he say?
他是这么说的我引用一下
He said, and I quote...
那真挺糟的
That's pretty bad.
等一下我还没完事
Hang on. I'm not done.
我去
Damn.
我确定他最后那记眼神杀不是那个意思
I'm sure he didn't mean that last part.
他花费数年告诉我我不够格去经营牧场
He spends years telling me I'm not good enough to run a ranch,
然后有人想给我个机会
then somebody wants to give me a shot
突然之间我成了混♥蛋♥了
and all of a sudden I'm the asshole?
是啊是挺糟的
Yeah, that's messed up.
你一直是个混♥蛋♥
You've always been an asshole.
就是啊
Exactly.
老爸说我混♥蛋♥就像锅嫌壶
Dad calling me an asshole is like pot calling the kettle...
是个混♥蛋♥
an asshole.
嘿老爸
Hey, Dad.
嘿早上好老爸
Hey, morning, Dad.
快点我们还有牛要喂
Hustle it up. We've got cows to feed.
是的
Yep.
你们需要帮忙吗
You guys need help?
噢爸在说出会后悔的话之前就闭嘴吧
Oh, Dad, stop before you don't say something you're gonna regret.
你已经不在这工作了
You don't work here anymore.
是我知道但我的新工作还有两周才开始
Yeah, I know, but I got two weeks 'til my new job starts,
所以我还是可以帮忙
so I can still help.
为什么你不用那段时间找个别的住处
Why don't you use that time to find someplace else to live?
什么
What?
你不在这干活你就别在这住
You don't work here, you don't live here.
我们走吧
Let's get going.
爸你不能就这么把他踢出去
Dad, uh... you can't just kick him out.
Colt 别为这件事担心
Colt, you know what? Don't worry about it.
你不想要我在这好我现在就走
You don't want me here? Fine. I'm leaving right now.
哦别啊兄弟别这样
Oh, come on, dude. Come on.
显然这儿已经不再欢迎我了
Well, apparently, I'm not welcome here anymore.
你在说什
What're you...
这里不欢迎任何人又能怎样
No one's welcome here. So what?
祝你好运兄弟你会需要的
Good luck, man. You're gonna need it.
你在干嘛
What're you doing?
你不喜欢你可以跟他走
You don't like it, you can go with him.
你要去哪大家这都是在干嘛
Where're you go... What is everyone doing?
为什么今天就不能像其他日子一样
Why can't this just be like every other day
我们就只是简简单单地恨着彼此呢
where we all just hate each other?
操
Fuck!
嘿宝贝 - 嘿
Hey, babe. - Hey.
你不是那个
Weren't you that guy who
过去很厉害的橄榄球队员吗
used to be a really good football player?
我勒个去你是那个Colt Bennett
Holy shit! You're that Colt Bennett?
给你 - 嘿妈
Here you go. - Hey, Mom.
你最近听到Rooster的消息了吗
Hey, you, uh, hear from Rooster?
没有怎么了
No, why?
他告诉了爸那个诺曼山的工作机会
Oh, he told Dad about that Neumann Hill job.
老爸把他赶出家门去了 - 什么
Dad kicked him out the house. - What?
我的天啊他还好吗他去哪了
Oh, God. Is he okay? Where'd he go?
我不知道
I don't know.
他给我发过短♥信♥ 他和Berto在一起
He texted me. He's... he's with Berto.
我不知道他们做了什么
I don't know what they did,
但是显然他的蛋蛋去了一趟麦当劳
but apparently his balls went to McDonald's.
哦
Oh!
为什么我要看呢
Why did I even look?
但是他真的需要检查一下那颗痣了
But he should really get that mole checked.
那是胎记
It's a birthmark.
显然他们正在来这的路上
Well, apparently, they're on their way over here.
我觉得这是他身上发生的最好的事
Oh, I think it's the best thing that could have happened to him.
妈他无家可归了
Mom, he's homeless.
相信我这一点都不好玩
Trust me, that's no fun.
当我在加拿大被那个球队踢出来的时候
When I got cut from that team in Canada,
我在我的车里住了3个月
I lived in my car for three months.
妹子们可不喜欢听见
Women do not respond well to,
"嘿我们回我的起亚索兰托继续派对吧"
"Hey, let's take this party back to my Kia Sorento."
那是有点伤感
Well, it's kind of sad.
你♥爸♥把除了狗之外的所有人都逼走了
I mean, your dad's driven everyone away except the dog.
我不知道
Oh, I don't know.
我跟Drake一起在卡车上时我观察过他
I've been watching Drake when we're in the truck.
我发誓他在学怎么用变速杆
I swear he's studying how to work a stick shift.
我的意思是我爱你但不是性♥爱♥的爱
I'm saying that I love you, but not in a sexual way.
除非你懂的
Unless of course, you know,
我们被困在一个荒岛上那种情况的话
we're stranded on a desert island, in which case...
我能干出更出格的事来
I mean, I could do worse.
喔你也干不出更好的事了
Oh, you could do no better.
不管怎样我不想再说这个了
Regardless, I would like to stop talking about it.
哦看其他人在呢
Oh, look, other people.
嘿 Colt - 怎么样
Hey, Colt. - What's up?
妈 Abby
Mom, Abby.
我爱你们
I love you guys.
我也爱你 Rooster
Love you, too, Rooster.
等下这终于发生了吗
Wait, is this finally happening?
Berto 你出局了
Berto, you're out.
你最近怎么样亲爱的
How you doing, honey?
很好
Great.
已经连续喝了整整4个小时了
Been drinking for four straight hours.
我一点痛苦都感觉不到
I feel no pain.
我已经连续喝了整整4年了
I've been drinking for four straight years.
我都感觉不到我的腿了
I can't feel my legs.
等一下
So, wait.
你整天都在喝酒吗你一直就干了这个吗
You've been drinking all day? That's all you've been doing?
不不不我停了一次去吐在桶里
No, no, no. I stopped once to puke in a bucket.
是啊只可惜
Yeah, it's too bad that
那个桶是救世军圣诞老人的
bucket belonged to a Salvation Army Santa.
是啊
Yeah.
嘿我告诉妈你和爸之间的事了
Hey, I told Mom about what happened with Dad.
嗯嗯 - 听着 Rooster
Hmm. - Look, Rooster,
你可能现在看不出来
it might be hard to see at this moment,
但是我觉得
but I think it's a good thing
你离开你♥爸♥是件好事
for you to get away from your dad, you know.
这是个你独♥立♥的机会
It's a chance for you to be your own man and...
给世界看看你的本事嘛
show the world what you've got.
有点像孩子离家去上大学
Kind of like a kid going off to college...
35岁的孩子
at 35.
嗯我跟你想的一样妈
Yeah, I'm with you, Mom.
诺曼山会付给我更多的钱
Neumann's Hill is gonna pay me more money,
给我一个更好的工作环境
give me a better place to work,
在我正式开工前还给了我两周假期
and give me two weeks of vacation before I start.
我能做任何事情
I could do anything.
妈的我可以开车直接去丹佛
Shit, I could drive all the way to Denver,
接着去呃
keep on going to, uh...
过了丹佛是哪是纽约吗
What's past Denver? Is that New York?
真是太扯淡了
That's bullshit.
你连丹佛的另一边是哪都不知道
You don't know what's on the other side of Denver,
但我要申请成为美国公民的话
but to become a citizen,
却必须要知道加菲尔德总统的中间名
I have to know President Garfield's middle name?
这个笑话不错兄弟
Good one, dude.
加菲尔德是只猫(指加菲猫) 他的中间名是千层面
Garfield's a cat. His middle name is lasagna.
好吧我猜到你不想回家了
All right. Figured you didn't wanna go home,
所以我顺路带来一些你的破烂
so I stopped by and picked up some of your shit.
把它扔在我卡车后面了 - 谢了兄弟
Threw it in the back of my truck. - Thanks, dude.
不你还没让我说完
No, you didn't let me finish.
我拐弯时候开得实在太快
I hit a curve, going real fast.