牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E07

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:22 a.m.

啊没什么
Ah... Nothing.
我猜呃姑娘你把择偶标准定的相当高
I guess, uh, you set the bar pretty high, girl.
好吧你猜的没错的的确确是这样
Well, that's very sweet. It's also very true.
我是你最后一任认真交往的女朋友吗
I was your last serious girlfriend?
得了你也没什么资格
Well, who are you to be giving
提一些关于感情问题的建议吧
relationship advice anyway?
你只和Kenny交往过
You only been with Kenny.
才不是我和很多人约会过啊
No! I dated lots of people.
我和Steve Williger出去过
I went out with Steve Williger.
你 Steve Williger吗 -真的吗是的
You... Steve Williger? - What? Yeah.
那家伙每天都穿着星球大战的T恤
That guy wore a Star Wars T-shirt every single day!
"时尚品味我一点也没有"
"Fashion sense, I have none."
好吧你可以就这样下去和一行伍的女人约会
All right, you can keep going, dating a cavalcade of women, or...
等下 - 这词意思是一列
Stop. - It means a parade.
多谢
Thank you.
或者你可以专心投入一段感情
Or you could commit to a relationship
看看一个成熟的成年人的生活会是什么样的
and see what it's like to be an adult.
好吧所以你的意思是
All right, so, you're telling me
你觉得我应该全心全意
that you think I should commit to a woman
对待一个我还不能够成熟地去对待的女性
that you think I'm immature for dating?
我不是在特指Heather
I'm not talking about Heather specifically.
我是说你已经34岁了这个事实
I'm talking about the fact that you're a 34-year-old man
而你成年之后就再也没有谈过一次正经的恋爱了
who hasn't had a serious girlfriend since he was 18.
是啊
Yeah.
你说得对我是需要成长了
You know what? You're right. I need to grow up.
我要给Heather发短♥信♥
I'm gonna text Heather to
告诉她我要和她分手
tell her that I'm gonna break up with her.
噢我的老天不你不可以发短♥信♥和她分手
Oh, my God! No, you cannot break up with her over text.
没错没错这会把事情搞得一团糟
True, true, that could get messy.
我应该等她给我发短♥信♥
I'll just wait for her to text me
然后回复 "新手♥机♥ 你是哪位"
and then write back, "New phone. Who dis?"
好吧
All right.
如果你坚持想要这么做
If you insist on doing it this way,
至少让我来帮你发
at least let me write the text
这样你看上去不会那么混♥蛋♥
so you don't seem like a total asshole.
好啊看上去省时省力给你
Well, that seems like the easy way out. Here you go.
记得拼错几个单词这样她就不会怀疑了
But make sure you misspell some words so she believes it's me.
"Heather 见到你很高兴" - 噢等等
"Heather, it's been great seeing you..." - Oh, oh,
改成"狠"
spell "Great" G-R-8.
"但是现在对我而言时机不是很合适"
"But now is not a good time for me."
不错 - "你是个非常特别的姑娘
Yeah. - "You're a real special girl
我知道你会遇到很好的人
and I know you'll find someone great."
"狠" - "狠" 好的我知道我知道
G-R-8. - G-R-8, yeah. I got it. Gotcha.
搞定 - 好的
Okay. - Yeah.
太完美了
That's perfect.
我应该让你给我所有女朋友发分手短♥信♥
I should let you break up with all my girlfriends.
快发送 - 好了
Send that. - Yep.
搞定 - 太棒了
Bingo. - Yes!
"Heather 我要过来一趟
"Heather, I'm coming over.
有点事我要和你当面谈谈"
There's something I need to tell you in person."
老天这什么鬼
Oh, what the hell?
欢迎来到大人的世界
Welcome to adulthood.
你去哪儿嘿回来
Where are you going? Hey, come back here!
新手♥机♥ 你是哪位
New phone. Who dis?
谢谢你这么快就赶了过来 Dale
Thanks for coming on such short notice, Dale.
见到你很高兴
Good to see you.
见到你我可一点高兴不起来 Beau
It's never good to see me, Beau.
前三次我过来一次是你的奶牛要生了
The last three times, it was a cow in labor,
一次是公牛的人工授精还有一次是Carol Palmer的婚礼
a bull insemination, and Carol Palmer's wedding.
每一次都比正常时间多出了整整三个小时
All of which took three hours longer than they should have.
嘿医生你女儿还好吗
Hey, Doc, how's your daughter doin'?
你别想了她喜欢女孩子
As far as you're concerned, she's a lesbian.
她上高中的时候肯定不是
She sure wasn't in high school.
Dale 这头小牛怎么了
So, what's going on with the calf, Dale?
该死的 Dale 我刚刚问
Damn it, Dale, I said
这头小牛到底怎么了
what's going on with the calf?
你干嘛对我大吼
Why are you shouting at me?
因为你需要一个助听器老家伙
Because you need a hearing aid, old man.
我才不需要助听器呢
I do not need a hearing aid.
你需要停止碎碎念老爷爷
You need to stop mumbling, Grandpa.
我才没有碎碎念
I don't mumble.
居然说我碎碎念
Telling me I mumble...
是啊是啊你们都老了
Yeah, yeah, you're both old.
所以医生这头小牛怎么了
So, uh, Doc, what do you think's going on with this calf?
看起来好像是细菌感染
Well, looks like a bacteria infection.
可能是喝到积水了
Probably brought on by drinking standing water.
该死 - 我们会失去它吗
Son of a bitch. - Are we gonna lose him?
不一定
Not necessarily.
24小时之后就知道是死是活了
You'll know in 24 hours, one way or the other.
我们要怎么做
What're our options?
我的老天爷
For the love of God!
有什么办法你这老笨蛋
What are our options, you old coot?
办法就是你
Our options are that you adopt
给我放尊重点不然我就走了
a civil tone with me or I'm leaving!
好吧抱歉
You're right. I'm sorry.
混♥蛋♥
Jackass.
说我混♥蛋♥
Jackass?
哦你可以听到啊
Oh, that you can hear!
你最多也就是
Well, the best thing you can do
给这小牛打
for this calf is to start him on...
一疗程的抗生素
a series of antibiotics.
不过这要花些钱
But that's gonna cost you money...
我知道你是个吝啬鬼
and I know you for being a cheap bastard.
你要坑我多少钱
How much you gonna gouge me?
一整个疗程大概要250刀
Oh, the whole series will be about, uh, 250.
250刀你打算带Charlene
250? What, are you taking Charlene
去罗马庆祝结婚纪念日吗
to Rome for your anniversary?
你能保证这要管用吗
Can you guarantee it's gonna work?
答案你我心知肚明
You know the answer to that as well as I do.
有可能有效有可能不
It may work, it may not.
"可能(五月)" 我讨厌这个词
"May." Always hated that word.
那是我过生日的月份但无所谓了
It's only when my birthday is, but whatever.
这抗生素比小牛便宜多了
Well, the shots are cheaper than losing the calf.
尤其是很快就可以卖♥♥出去的时候
Especially this close to market.
但万一小牛死了
Not if we're gonna lose him anyway.
我们就损失了这250刀再加上小牛的1200
Then we're down 250, plus 1,200 for the calf.
所以你的专业意见是什么
So, what's your professional opinion?
如果是我我就给这小牛打抗生素
Well, if it was up to me, I'd give the calf shots.
你当然会打抗生素你就赚到了
Of course you would. You get paid to give shots.
我早上被骡子踢中了胸口
You know, I got kicked in the chest by a mule this morning
那也比现在给你这个会诊要来得愉快
and that visit was pleasanter than this one.
你到底怎么决定 Beau
What's it gonna be, Beau?
爸没人能保证抗生素有效果
Look, Dad, if there's no guarantee it's gonna work,
我们应该省下这笔钱不买♥♥药
we should save the money and not do it.
Rooster 没人问你意见
Rooster, nobody asked you.
我们不要
We're not gonna do it!
随你便你知道该怎么做
Suit yourself. You know the drill.
给它吃流食补充电解质你要是有的话
Push the fluids. Electrolytes, if you got 'em.
谢了 Dale
Thanks, Dale.
你要是需要我随时打电♥话♥ 我就在附近
If you need me, you can call, I'll be in the neighborhood.
我一会要去安德森农场
I'm stopping over at the Anderson ranch.
那老家伙比你还难搞
That old man is a bigger pain in the ass than you are.
那骡子应该再使点劲踢你
I wish that mule had kicked you harder.
什么
What?
该死快去治治你的耳朵老家伙
Damn it. Get your ears fixed, old man!
你这样我都没法和你吵了
I can't even insult you anymore!
嘿医生趁你走之前
Hey, Doc, before you leave, um...
可不可以治疹子
you check out a rash?
动物身上的吗
Is it on an animal?
对是公鸡(我)身上的
Yeah. It's... it's on a rooster.