牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E16

Part 3 June 24, 2021, 11:23 a.m.

得了吧 Beau 在82年的时候
Oh, come on, Beau. Back in '82,
你唯一能搞怀孕的就是Maggie
the only thing you got pregnant was Maggie.
干得好
Great job.
别这样爸连你都说了这不是确切的科学
Come on, Dad. Even you said it's not an exact science.
是啊下次我们会搞成功4只或5只的
Yeah, next time we'll get four or five!
在我看来你们已经尽力做到最好了
As far as I can see, you boys did the best you could possibly do,
就差你们自己上那些小母牛了
short of mounting those heifers yourselves.
你们没那么做吧
You didn't do that, did you?
好吧我要去医院看看Abby怎么样了
All right, I'm gonna go down to the hospital and check on Abby.
谢谢你 Dale
Thank you, Dale.
这东西真是太神奇了
This thing's incredible.
我能听见你父亲在畜棚说话
I can hear your dad talking down in the barn.
他说什么呢 - 哇
What's he saying? - Whoa!
他说他爱你而且你已经尽力了
He... he says he loves you and you did the best you could.
我该走了
I've gotta go.
一只牛
One cow.
十只里就他妈一只
One fucking cow out of ten.
呃
Aw...
那不是你过去给他们唱的摇篮曲么
Wasn't that the lullaby you used to sing to the boys?
好了嘛第一次一只还没那么糟
Come on, first try, one cow. It's not so bad.
这大部分都是靠运气
So much of it is luck anyway.
你会怎么想如果他们
How would you feel if they
走进来要了十瓶却只付了一瓶酒钱
came in here and paid for one out of ten beers?
哦我会开心死的
Oh! I'd be ecstatic.
我肯定他们下一批会做得更好
I'm sure the next batch will go better.
会的我要重新再弄一次了
Yeah, it will. I'm gonna take it back over again.
Beau 你把工作给他们了你就要让他们完成
Beau, you gave them the job, you have to let them finish it.
我已经看透了
I've seen enough to know
相信他们就是个错误
that it was a mistake to trust them with this.
花了你35年去给他们个机会
Yeah, it took you 35 years to give them a chance.
为什么不现在立马就放弃他们呢
Why not give up on 'em right away?
Maggie 他们当时在用精♥子♥光剑演星战呢
Maggie, they were playing Star Wars with the sperm gun.
Rooster拿它四处挥舞着说
Rooster was waving it around saying...
"Mable 我是你父亲"
"Mable, I am your father."
好吧那真挺搞笑的我
Okay. Well, that's kind of funny. I...
不我经历过减产年
No. I've been through a lean year,
经历过大火经历过干旱
been through a fire, been through a drought.
看来唯一搞不定的就是我的两个儿子
The only thing I can't seem to get through is my own two sons.
难以置信
Unbelievable.
什么
What?
现在你开心了吧
Well, you're happy, aren't you?
是啊
Oh, yeah, I'm...
我感觉很好
I'm feeling great.
我高兴得快上天了
Yee-haw! I'm farting rainbows.
不如果这些孩子把整个牧群肚子都搞大了
No. If those boys were to knock up the whole damn herd,
那就说明他们不再需要你了
that would mean they didn't need you anymore,
你是错的
that you were wrong.
你觉得我希望他们失败吗
Do you think I want them to fail?
是啊我觉得你想成为唯一能搞定的人
Yeah. And I think you want to be the only one to fix it.
这件事太重要不应该交给卢克精行者
This is too important to leave to Luke Spermwalker.
繁殖期有三个月长呢
Well, breeding season is three months long.
把第一个月交给他们或许他们会给你惊喜
So, give them the first month, maybe they'll surprise you.
如果没有你还有时间去按你的来
If not, you still have time to do it your way.
好吧
Fine.
但是如果他们搞砸了
But if they screw it up...
我会都怪在你身上
I'm blaming you.
这就是离婚的神奇之处你怪我我特么一点都不在乎
That's the magic of divorce. You blame me, I don't give a shit.
Colt
Colt.
嘿
Hey.
医院那边怎么样了
How'd it go at the hospital?
踝关节骨折有些肿块和淤青
Fractured ankle, couple of bumps and bruises.
成为万众的焦点
Loving being the center of attention.
尽情享受白来的关心
Milking it for all it's worth.
你知道的我妈那人
You know. Mom.
你一个人在那吗
You, uh, there all by yourself?
不是
No.
爸爸在那
Dad was there.
Susan阿姨 Jimmy舅舅
Aunt Susan, Uncle Jimmy..
像往常一样 Jimmy问其中一个护士
As always, Jimmy asked one
是否能给他做个疝气检查
of the nurses if he could get a hernia exam.
她说"当然" 然后叫来了她的同事Frank
She said "Sure," And she calls her colleague in, Frank.
他的疝气顿时就好了
His hernia cleared up real quick.
还有其他人吗 - 保安最终还是到了
Anybody else? - Security eventually came.
护送Jimmy出去还有几个朋友来了
Escorted Jimmy out. And a couple of friends.
有我认识的吗
Anybody I know?
没有我想没有
Nope, I don't think so.
还有个无关的问题
There is a separate question.
你妈妈是在和Kenny认识的人共住一间吗
Is your mom sharing a room with someone Kenny knows?
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
是的我去过了 - 嗯哼
Yeah, I came down there. - Mmm-hmm.
看见你和Kenny聊天看见你抱Kenny
Saw you talking to Kenny. Saw you hugging Kenny.
我看见我的拳头冲破了墙
I saw my fist go through a wall.
然后我看见了3楼的护士给我照了张X光
Then I saw a nurse on the third floor, who gave me an X-ray.
为什么你不能直接说你知道
Why wouldn't you just say you knew?
我想看看你是否会对我撒谎
I wanted to see if you'd lie to me.
然后你确实撒谎了
And then you did.
哦对了我的手已经好了只是骨头挫伤了
Oh, my hand's fine by the way, it's just a bone bruise.
这是送给你妈妈的
This is for your mom.
好吧
Okay...
听着我骗你只是因为
Listen, the only reason why I lied
我知道你肯定会无理取闹
is 'cause I knew you'd make a big deal about it for no reason.
他怎么会知道发生了什么
How did he even know what happened?
我给他打电♥话♥了
I called him.
你给他打电♥话♥了 - 是啊我给他打电♥话♥了
You called him? - Yeah, I called him.
我也给你打电♥话♥了我给一群人打了电♥话♥
And I called you, and I called a bunch of people.
他和我妈关系挺好的
Okay? He's close with my mom.
他就是想关心一下这又没什么
He'd want to know. It's not a big deal.
这又没什么
Oh, it's not a big deal
你可是和那个男的好了5年
that the guy that you dated for five years,
你们都准备结婚了
and then were gonna marry,
他才是那个在你遇到困难时去依靠的人么
is the guy you depend on when something goes wrong?
不是这样的我又没叫他过来
It's not like that. I didn't ask him to come.
他就是来了像你一样 - 噢噢噢好吧
He just showed up like you did. - Oh, oh, oh... Okay.
所以如果你♥爸♥的手卡进了削木机
So your dad gets his hand caught in a wood chipper,
Kenny就会突然在医院出现了
Kenny's just gonna show up at the hospital?
不确定哪部分会是那一幕的最糟糕的地方
Not sure that's the worst part of that scenario.
我想你和他断绝关系
I don't want you talking to him anymore.
什么
Excuse me?
你确定要和我说这样的话
You seriously just say that to me?
对啊我才是你男朋友不是他
Yeah, I did. I'm your boyfriend now, not him.
所以就得这样了
All right. So that's how it's gonna be.
好吧我还和76加油站的Brad约会过
All right, well, I dated Brad down at the 76.
拜托这
Come on. This...
你也要禁止我去加油么
You gonna forbid me to pump gas?
当然不是我只是觉得等等 Brad
Of course not, I think... Wait, Brad?
就那个卖♥♥雪貂的没搞错吧
The guy who sells ferrets? Seriously?
嗯哼
Mmm-hmm.
如果这让你感到不舒服我很抱歉
Look, I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable,
但是我没办法不见到Kenny 就算我想
but, I mean, I couldn't avoid Kenny, even if I wanted to.
所以你承认你想见他了
Oh! So you admit that you don't want to.
我们早已融入了彼此的生活我们有共同的朋友
We're in each other's lives. We have the same friends.
过去五年他所有的假期都在陪我的家人
He spent the last five years of holidays with my family.
我都用他的账户订阅网飞
My Netflix list is on his account.
为什么你家全是你俩的照片
Why you got pictures of you and him all over your house?
呃因为我们俩一周前才分手
Uh, 'cause we broke up a week ago
我还没来得及去扔掉和他在一起的回忆
and I haven't had time to get rid of every memory of him.
这又不是演高中校园电影
This is not a high school movie,
分手了我要把所有合照中他的脸都给挖掉
where I'm gonna cut his face out of every picture
再把所有的情书给烧了
and burn all the letters.
我爸就把我妈的东西全烧了所以
My dad burned all my mom's shit, so...