牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E03

Part 3 June 24, 2021, 11:21 a.m.

对于你这个年纪的人来说你的身体好得令人印象深刻
you're in impressive health for a man your age.
你懂的当我把卡车开去检修
You know, when I take my
但卡车却完好无损的时候
truck in and there's nothing wrong with it,
他们并没有收我钱
they don't charge me.
服用这些药直到你的背痛减缓为止
Take these until your back pain subsides,
还有在接下来的几天里你应该会没事
and, um, you should be fine in a few days.
听起来不错我会在十二年后再见你
Sounds good. I'll see you in 12 years.
我还没说完
I'm not done.
我们必须谈谈你的高血压了
We have to talk about your high blood pressure.
什么
What?
你现在有中度高血压
You're at risk for stage two hypertension,
很有可能会引发心脏病发作中风以及肾衰竭
which could lead to heart attack, stroke or kidney failure.
除非你改变一下生活方式
Unless you make some lifestyle changes.
我不会去做普拉提的
I'm not doing Pilates.
我认为我们可以从你的饮食入手
I think we can start with your diet.
我建议你减少红肉的食用量
I'd like you to cut back on red meat.
换一个
Pass.
你还必须要减少饮酒量
You're also going to have to cut down on your drinking.
再换一个
Try again.
精神压力呢你怎样缓解精神压力
What about stress? What do you do to reduce it?
吃牛排喝威士忌
Eat steak and drink whiskey.
Bennett先生够了这事可开不起玩笑
Mr. Bennett, come on, this is serious.
等我把牛崽卖♥♥了我的压力就会降低
My stress will come down when I sell my calves.
还有与此同时你需要减少盐的摄入量
Well, in the meantime, you need to cut back on salt
而且要多吃蔬菜
and eat more vegetables.
好的我想我们已经谈完了
Okay, I think we're done here.
如果我有像你这样的接球手
Yeah. If I had receivers like you,
我早就拿下四届州冠军了
I'd have won four State Championships.
把球放下好吧
Drop it. All right.
这次给我往前推进5码并且突破防线
Now give me five yards and a slant.
5英码约等于35"狗码"
That's 35 in dog yards.
嘿 - 嘿
Hey. - Hey.
训练进行得怎么样了
How was practice?
我们演练了边角闪电突击战术
We ran corner blitzes,
我没收了一个孩子的大♥麻♥ 然后把它卖♥♥给了另外一个孩子
I confiscated one kid's pot, sold it to another kid.
总的来说这是非常好的一天
Overall, a pretty good day.
是啊
Yeah.
你知道吗那个Josh似乎是个很棒的小孩
Hey, you know what? That Josh seems like a pretty good kid.
我认为我可以真正地帮到他
I think I can really help him.
是啊关于这点
Yeah, about that.
我不确定教练是否想让你跟球队混在一起
I'm not sure the coach wants you hanging around the team.
你为什么会这样说
Why would you say that?
因为教练跟我说
Because the coach told me,
"我不想让Colt跟球队混在一起"
"I don't want Colt hanging around the team."
为什么不呢
Why not?
他说你的态度相当失礼
Well, he said you have a disrespectful attitude.
去他妈的老混♥蛋♥
Fuck that asshole.
很显然他精神不正常
Clearly, he's out of his mind.
我为他赢得了唯一一次州冠军
I won that guy his only State title.
Colt 你去到那里讲个五分钟的故事
Colt, you came in there and told a five-minute story,
球队的格言就会变成
and the moral was, "Don't
"别听教练的话你就能赢得州冠军"
listen to Coach and you win a State Championship."
这样做会给球队灌输什么样的信息
What kind of message does that send to the team?
一条以"你就能赢得州冠军"结尾的信息
One that ends with, "You win a State Championship."
你知道吗没关系这是教练的损失
You know what? It's fine. It's Coach's loss.
球队的损失小镇的损失
Team's loss. Town's loss.
我很抱歉 - 别为我感到抱歉
I'm sorry. - Don't feel sorry for me.
应该为教练感到抱歉
Feel sorry for the coach.
还有球队还有小镇
And the team. And the town.
你啊心智不成熟智商情商都不过关
You're being a baby. And a tool.
还是个混球
And a douche.
好吧Maggie 我希望你能开心
Well, Maggie, I hope you're happy.
我现在就很开心
I am.
你准备怎样摧毁我的好心情
How are you gonna ruin it?
你让我患上了高血压
You gave me high blood pressure.
什么 - 我去看了医生如你叮嘱的那样
What? - I went to the doctor, like you said.
现在我得了高血压
Now I have high blood pressure.
高血压是可以控制的
High blood pressure is manageable.
你知道这并不是世界末日
You know, it's not the end of the world.
我早就准备好过世界末日了
I'm prepared for the end of the world.
我修了个避难所里面满是牛肉干
I've got a shelter full of beef jerky.
是啊我知道你带我去那里庆祝我们的20周年纪念日
Yeah, I know. You took me there for our 20th anniversary.
听着你必须要做的是多走路
Look, all you have to do is take more walks,
多喝水放弃培根改吃火鸡培根
drink more water, and switch from bacon to turkey bacon.
是啊我还要把我的旧卡车换成一辆新的普锐斯
Yeah, and I'll trade my truck in on a Prius.
如果管用的话我会和你一起规律饮食这样如何
If it'll help, I'll diet with you. How's that?
你为什么就不能像个正常的妻子那样
Why can't you just be like
别管我的死活呢
a normal wife and not care if I live or die?
不要担心你保持身体健康
Don't worry about it. You stay healthy,
你还要展望接下来30年的生活呢
you're looking at another 30 years
每天在黎明时分醒来然后和儿子们一起为牧场工作
of wakin' up at dawn and workin' that ranch with your sons.
我的老天爷啊现在就把我带走吧
Sweet Jesus, take me now.
嘿 Colt - 嘿
Hey, Colt. - Hey.
Abby 你来这里干什么
Abby. What are you doing here?
我本来以为你可能
Well, I thought you might
想穿这件衣服去参加意面晚宴
wanna wear this to the spaghetti dinner.
那是什么我以前的优秀运动员外套吗 - 是啊
What is that? My old letterman jacket? - Yeah.
你还留着它
You still got it, huh?
是啊你懂的我原本想或许在我们分手之后
Yeah, you know, I thought maybe, you know, after we broke up,
你会变得很有名那样我就可以卖♥♥很多钱了
you'd become famous and I could sell it for a lot of money.
不管怎样给你
Anyway, here.
穿上看看 - 太好了
Look at that. - Nice.
有我想的那么好看吗
Do I look as good as I think I do?
一点都没有
Don't think that's possible.
我听说了教练的事情
I heard about the coaching thing.
是啊这没什么大不了的
Oh, yeah. It's not a big deal.
我只是提供了自己的意愿
I was just offering a favor.
Blake Shelton <美国之声>常驻导师 Sharkina曾在四六季担任同节目导师
我的意思是假如Blake Shelton想教你唱歌♥
I mean, heck, if Blake Shelton wants to teach you how to sing,
你就不会跟Shakira走了是吗
you don't go with Shakira, right?
无论如何教练肯定是疯了
Well, for what it's worth, Coach is crazy.
我是说还有谁比Colt Bennett更懂得
I mean, who knows more about
如何带领Garrison高中赢得州冠军的吗
getting Garrison to State than Colt Bennett?
我猜你还没听说过Colt Bennett二世
I guess you haven't heard about the new Colt Bennett.
你懂的我是开车来的
You know, I'm driving.
有啊我听说过是Josh
Yeah, I have. Josh, you know,
他不过是又一个平庸之辈
he's just another read-option clone.
我的意思是他可以击出短传球
I mean, he can hit the short crosses
并且通过双脚来扩大击球范围
and extend plays with his feet,
但他总是盯着他的第一接球手
but he stares down his primary receiver
这简直就是求对手来拦截传球
and that is just begging to be intercepted.
好吧现在我为他们没有叫你来当新教练而感到生气
Okay, now I'm offended they didn't ask you to be the new coach.
好吧实际上他们有这样做
Well, actually, they did.
只不过我的课表都排满了
I just had a full class schedule.
这就是他们聘请Rooster的原因
That's why they hired Rooster. Shh.
你很怀念橄榄球不是吗
You miss football, don't you?
不是我怀念什么一天两练还有冰水浴还有
No. What do I miss? Two-a-days, and the ice baths, and...
我经历过的许多次脑震荡
however many concussions I had.
其实我一点都不怀念橄榄球
Actually, I don't miss it at all.
假如你没有手拿橄榄球身穿运动服地坐在那里
You'd be a lot more convincing if you weren't sitting there
你会更有说服力
holding a football and wearing a letterman jacket.
但我敢确定这一定很难
But I'm sure it must be hard.
我甚至都不知道自己为什么要回到这座愚蠢的小镇
I don't even know why I came back to this stupid town.
什么我很高兴你回来了
What? I'm glad you came back.
有了你这个地方跟你所想的一样糟
I mean, as bad as you think this place is with you,
没有你这里甚至更糟
it's even worse without you.
你大概是这里最美好的事物了
You're about the best thing here.
就是这样你发现了美好的事物
There you go. You found something good.
没错
Yeah, I did.
Colt 你在做什么
Whoa, Colt. What are you doing? No.
怎么了