牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E05

Part 3 June 24, 2021, 11:21 a.m.

He's just messing with you.
是啊我希望他是闹着玩而已
Yeah, I wish that's what he was doing.
但那前提条件是
But that would require him
他要真能考虑到别人的存在
actually thinking about another human being.
Rooster 我找到你的帽子了
Hey, Rooster, I found your hat!
真的吗
You did?
假的我正忙着和老爹沟通感情呢
No! I'm too busy bonding with Dad!
妈妈刚告诉我你其实是领养来的
Mom just told me you're actually adopted!
别这样你弟弟其实很在乎你
Come on. Your brother really cares about you.
他只是不知道如何表达自己的情感
He just doesn't know how to show it or say it all the time.
跟你老爹一个德行
He's a lot like your father in that way.
是吗
Yeah?
老爹从来没弄丢过我的三人行"伙伴"
Well, my father never lost my threesome buddy.
听着你对他要耐心些
Look, all I'm saying is you have to be patient with him.
说到底我们都是一家人
The bottom line is, he's family.
更重要的是那只不过是顶该死的帽子
And more importantly, it's just a fucking hat.
瞧看见没问题来了
See... see, that's the problem.
早晨未沐浴秀发不飘逸
Without the morning shower, there's no life.
失去弹性失去光泽
There's no bounce, there's no shine.
我知道你会说 "你头发看起来挺好"
I mean, I know what you're gonna say, "It looks fine,"
但哥追求的远不止"挺好"
but I ain't shooting for fine.
你懂不 "银狐"老帅哥
You get it, silver fox.
你头发上都抹了啥摩丝还是发蜡
And what do you use in your hair? Mousse or pomade?
你头发超级蓬松就像
You got so much poof. It's, like...
你要去哪儿
Where are you going?
看到没这就是为什么人们不夸赞你
See, this is why people rarely give you compliments.
瞧瞧你的毛你的毛发美极了
Oh, look at your coat, you're gorgeous.
让我们纵观大局
Let's look at the big picture.
尽管Colt很难缠
As difficult as Colt can be,
但在你弟弟和帽子之间你会选择哪个
would you rather have your brother back or your hat back?
帽子
Hat.
出去
Get out.
什么为什么
What? Why?
因为我再也不要和你弟弟待在一起了
'Cause I'm not sitting with your brother anymore.
我也不要和他待在一起
Well, I'm not sitting with him either.
你必须要他抱怨个不停就是因为你
Yes, you are. You're the reason he's whining.
他抱怨个不停是因为他就是个巨婴
The reason he's whining is 'cause he's a big baby.
我只想回家
I just wanna go home.
于是鸭子说
And the duck says...
于是狗狗说
And the dog says...
咋了 Drake 你怎么不出声了
What's the matter, Drake, cat got your tongue?
你来做什么 - 老爹派我来的
Oh, what are you doing? - Dad sent me.
不不不今天是属于我和老爹的
No. No, no, no, no. This is me and Dad's day.
我想他刚刚才意识到自己多讨厌你
Well, I guess he just realized how much he hates you.
挪过去点
Move over.
我才不挪
I ain't moving.
这一次你要做你不愿意做的事了
For once, you're gonna do something you don't wanna do,
给我挪过去点 - 有本事试试
now move over. - Move me.
好吧你不挪我就坐你身上
Fine, I won't. I'll sit on you.
你干什么够了老兄你浑身湿透了
What are you... ah! Come on, man, you're all soaking wet.
没错而且大多是鸭屎
Yeah, it's mostly duck shit, too.
还有我刚在你身上放了个屁
And I just farted on you.
是你吃了我的花生酱香蕉三明治吗
Did you eat my peanut butter and banana sandwich?
不是
No.
我咬了一口觉得自己饱了就把剩下的都扔了
I took one bite and decided I was full and I threw the rest out.
你知道吗别再和我说话
You know what? Don't talk to me anymore.
好啊
Fine.
瞧我发现了什么
Oh, look what I found.
你知道吗
You know...
也许我应该只带Rooster来
maybe I should've brought Rooster along.
他说的对这已经成一项传统了
He's right, it has become a tradition.
Colt因为要跟你同行相当兴奋
You know, Colt was really excited to be with you.
你的两个儿子都想和你一起消磨时间
Both your boys wanted to spend time with you,
我知道你并不想听到这个
and I know you don't want to hear this but...
但这说明你身上有很美好的特质
it says something really nice about you.
哈
Huh.
哈
Huh.
为什么儿子们就不能更像牛一点呢
Why can't boys be more like cows?
你能给它们烙印用棍子把它们赶出围栏
You could brand 'em, stick 'em out in a field,
除非它们要死了平时都是静静站那
and they just stand there until they're ready to die.
Beau 我不会想到我居然会这么说
Beau? I never thought I'd say this.
你太唠叨了
You talk too much.
不好意思
Sorry.
嘿你会觉得我是个老帅哥吗
Hey, would you say I'm a silver fox?
噢打到了
Oh! Got 'em.
Drake 去抓回来
Drake, fetch.
Drake 去抓回来
Drake, fetch.
Drake 去抓回来
Drake, fetch.
现在狗都更喜欢你
Now even the dog likes you better?
那是当然
Of course he does.
每个人都更喜欢我知道为什么吗
Everyone likes me better. You know why?
因为我更棒啊
'Cause I'm better.
我确定如果是老爸的帽子
I know for a fact if it was Dad's hat,
你肯定碰都不碰
you never would have touched it.
噢天别提帽子了
Oh, my God, shut up about the hat!
这不仅仅是帽子的问题兄弟
It's not just about the hat, man.
这象征着更大程度上缺乏关心
It's indicative of a larger lack of concern!
什么 - 这象征着
What? - It's indicative
更大程度上缺乏关心
of a larger lack of concern!
我花了这么多年获得每个人的尊重
I spent years earning everyone's respect.
然后你出现了突然人们都喜欢你了
Then you show up and all of a sudden you're the favorite again?
这是怎么回事呢
How does that work?
你知道为什么我受欢迎吗我来告诉你
You know why I'm the favorite? I'll tell you why.
因为我更棒啊
'Cause I'm better.
你知道你还是什么吗
You know what else you are?
你是个混球
You're an asshole.
15年啊 Colt
Fifteen years, Colt.
我不得不铲屎
I had to shovel shit,
而你离家出走好周游世界
while you abandoned the family so you could travel the world...
好行了行了 - 花了15年啊
Okay, all right. - ...for 15 years...
别扯什么"离家出走"的狗屁了
Enough with the "Abandoned the family" Crap.
我有个成为专业运动员的机会啊
I had a chance to be a pro athlete.
谁不想要
Who's not gonna take that?
你也能追求你的什么傻♥逼♥梦想啊
I mean, you could have followed your stupid dream.
"Rooster的上空咪♥咪♥"
"Rooster's Topless Tapas."
兄弟这想法绝了
Dude, that was genius!
"大♥波♥波小咪♥咪♥"
"Big tatas, small tapas."
你不喜欢你现在的生活又不是我的错
It ain't my fault you hate your life.
不我不是不喜欢我现在的生活
No, man, I don't hate my life.
我就是不喜欢你这副肆意妄为的德行
I just hate the fact you think you can do whatever you want.
根本就不该这样 - 我离开了
It don't work like that. - I left!
好吗我离开了 - 是
Okay? I left! - Yeah!
是你知道吗
Yeah! Well, guess what.
你是个成年人要开始承担责任了
You gotta be a grown-ass man and start taking responsibility
为了你自己的生活你自己的选择而负责
for your own life and your own choices.
你选择了留下
You chose to stay!
你知道我还想选什么吗
You know what else I choose to do?
哦别射我的帽子
Oh, don't shoot my hat.
别射帽子啊
Don't you shoot my hat.
你跟Rooster捣蛋你就得吃点苦头
You mess with the Rooster, you get the beak!
想想我们也曾经不想让儿子们长大
To think there was a time we never wanted those boys to grow up.
嗯我们愿望成真了
Well, we got our wish.
记得我们第一次带他们去打猎吗
Remember the first time we took 'em hunting?
嗯
Oh, yeah.
Colt想跟他哥哥一样用12号♥口径的猎枪呢
Colt wanted to use the 12 gauge like his big brother.
我告诉他这枪对他来说太大了
I told him it was too much for him,
但这得他自己吸取教训
but he needed to learn for himself.
嗯他确实吸取教训了
Yeah, he learned all right.
鸭子飞过来了Colt开枪了
Duck came in, Colt fired,
后坐力使枪打到了他的脸打断了鼻梁
the recoil hit him in the face, broke his nose.
血流得到处都是