牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E11

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:22 a.m.

啥 - 就像你没这么想过似的
What? - Oh, like you haven't thought of it.
我可真没想过
No, I haven't!
还有别对Heather有这种想法
And don't be having them thoughts about Heather!
我对Heather的想法可多了去了
There aren't many thoughts I haven't had about Heather.
伙计 - 伙计别紧张我开玩笑的好吧
Dude! - Dude. Relax. I'm kidding, all right?
她对我来说就像女儿一样
She's like a daughter to me.
你知道像一个超级超级火♥辣♥
You know, like a super, super hot,
没有血缘关系的大龄女儿
not blood-related, of-age daughter.
早啊老爸 - 嘿老爸
Morning, Dad. - Hey, Dad.
好吧他心情不好
Well... he's in a mood.
啥他啥都没说啊
What, he didn't even say anything.
我对老爸的咕囔了如指掌
I know all of Dad's grunts.
意思 "别烦我"
Means, "Don't talk to me."
意思 "Colt是个白♥痴♥"
Means, "Colt's an idiot."
还有当他这样
And when he goes...
好吧这个不是很政♥治♥正确
well, that one's not politically correct,
所以我不能大声说
so I can't say it out loud.
嘿老爸老妈呢
Hey, Dad. Where's Mom?
她走了她开着她的房♥车走了
She's gone. She hitched up her Airstream and left.
啥
What?
我还以为她会搬进来呢
I thought she was moving in.
我也是
So did I.
那你们有没有吵架啥的她说啥了
Did you guys, like, have a fight? What'd she say?
她啥都没说就留了个纸条
She didn't say anything. She left a note.
无所谓我扔了
Doesn't matter. Threw it away.
那她还回来么 - 她去哪了
Is she coming back? - Where'd she go?
你去追她了没 - 她真的啥都没说
You go after her? - She really didn't say anything?
不她说 "闭上你的臭嘴赶紧去干活"
Yeah, she said, "Shut the fuck up and get to work."
好吧如果你需要什么告诉我们
Okay, well, if you need anything, just let us know.
我同意 Colt是个白♥痴♥
I agree. Colt's an idiot.
天哪老妈这事儿真把老爸搞伤心了
Man, this whole Mom thing has got Dad set off.
我走的时候他也这么难过么 - 真好笑
Was he this upset when I left? - That's funny.
我不知道他看起来挺好
I don't know. He seemed all right.
你知道就像他说
You know, like, when he said,
"嘿水管通得真好啊"
uh, "Hey, great job flushing the pumps."
他那是讽刺
He was being sarcastic.
噢是的我知道诀窍就在这儿
Oh, yeah. I know. That's the trick.
你看如果你没有听出来他的讽刺
See, if you ignore Dad's sarcasm,
他就是一个特别有爱支持你的老爸
he's like a really, like, loving, supportive father.
噢天哪这样一切都不一样了
Oh, my God, that changes everything.
他觉得我心灵手巧他很高兴我回来了
He thinks I'm bright, good with my hands and he's happy I'm home.
是噢这也真的是九英寸长
Yeah, and this really is nine inches.
谢谢你的支持
Thank you.
嘿老妈联♥系♥你了吗
Hey, uh, did Mom hit you back?
没没她的消息
No. Haven't heard from her.
我觉得她应该是想静静
I think she just wants to be left alone.
需要时间思考
Needs time to think.
Abby也想静静
Abby needs time to think.
女人都什么毛病啊我行动之前从来不思考
Oh, what's with women? I don't think before I do anything.
我见识过你一天把两部车
As someone who's seen you lose two cars
开进了快冻住的湖里
in a partially frozen lake,
所以我完全同意
I can't disagree.
拜托那次不算
Oh, come on. That don't count.
我开第二辆车进湖里是为了把第一辆车捞上来
I drove the second car in to get the first car out.
嘿怎么了
Hey, what's up?
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
把我们不需要的垃圾扔了
Gettin' rid of junk we don't need.
呃看起来好像都是老妈的东西
Uh, that looks like a whole lot of Mom's stuff.
没错都是我们用不着的垃圾
Like I said, junk we don't need.
嘿那是我的毛衣
Oh. Hey, that's my sweater.
老妈这一出是不是把你伤得太深了
You sure this thing with Mom isn't, like, messing with your head?
这和你老妈没什么关系
This got nothin' to do with your mother.
好的那个一定是Colt的胸罩
Okay, I guess those are Colt's bras.
马路上那辆破自行车是不是得等我死了才能搬走
Is that damn bike gonna sit in my driveway till the day I die?
行了我会解决的
All right, I'll take care of it.
不过你帮我个忙别去谷仓转悠
Do me a favor, don't look in the barn.
一周内不处理掉我就把它拖走
You got a week, and I'm haulin' it.
我真♥他♥妈♥受不了到处乱七八糟
I'm tired of all the goddamn clutter around here.
行啊又不是我一个人弄乱的
Okay. Well, I'm not the only one with clutter, all right?
Colt也有份他自己本身就是一团糟
Colt's got clutter. Shit, Colt is clutter.
你怎么不把他扔进垃圾桶
Why don't you throw him in the barrel?
是谁想出这么一个好主意
Whose great idea was it to
故意把工具放在外面生锈浪费我的钱
leave those tools laying out there to rust and waste my money?
是我的好主意老爹
That was my great idea, Daddy.
干得漂亮啊天才
Nice work, genius.
谢谢夸奖
Thank you.
他觉得我是天才
He thinks I'm a genius.
快他妈把工具收起来
Put the damn tools away.
好的
Yes, sir.
你真的不想聊聊吗
Are you sure you don't wanna talk about anything?
好吧
Okay, then.
那是我的围巾啊
That's my scarf!
嘿我看起来怎么样
Hey, how do I look?
还行
Fine.
那就好我打算带Mary去看电影
All right, good. I'm taking Mary to the movies.
这件外套会不会给人一种"美女你想不想偷偷
Now, does this outfit say, "Madame, would you discreetly
把手伸进我的裤子里帮我打个飞机"的感觉
reach your hand into my pants and give me a handy J?"
你有毛病吗
What the hell is the matter with you?
我有毛病
Matter with me?
咱们家三个男人里
Out of the three Bennett boys,
只有我一个人谈着认真且健康的恋爱
I'm the only one here in a serious, healthy relationship.
你明明就是想哄一个当祖母的人
You're trying to trick a grandmother
在电影院里帮你打飞机
into giving you a hand job in a movie theater.
没错拿小本本记好
Damn straight. Take notes.
说到谈恋爱你跟Heather怎么样了
Speaking of relationships, what's up with you and Heather?
不知道
I don't know.
在弄明白我对Abby的感觉之前我尽量躲着她
I'm just avoiding her until I can figure things out with Abby.
嗯我觉得这招行不通
Mmm, I don't think that's gonna work.
是么逃避问题没用吗
Yeah? Avoiding problems don't work?
我在内华达州被通缉了逃避就解决了问题
I got a warrant for my arrest in Nevada that says it does.
嗯这次估计是行不通了
Yeah, I don't think that's gonna work this time.
是吗为什么
Yeah, why not?
因为Mary刚把车停在了门口车道上
'Cause Mary's car is in the driveway
然后Heather下了车
and Heather just got out of it.
嘿你们好 - 嘿
Hey, y'all. - Hey!
嘿 Mary 还有我最爱的女儿Heather
Hey, Mary. Heather. My favorite daughter.
你坏笑什么
Why're you laughing?
我突然想起
Oh, I was just thinking about
Colt之前说的那个笑话
this joke earlier that Colt and I were telling.
你记得那个笑话吧
You know the one, right, man?
当然记得
Yeah, yeah.
你来这干什么
What're you doing here?
那取决于我们喝多少酒还得看你能不能"干"了
Well, that depends on you and how many shots of tequila we do.
妈我开玩笑呢
I'm kiddin', Mom.
我可没开玩笑
I'm not kiddin'.
我们约了吗
We got plans?
没我妈开车来带Rooster去看电影
No, but my mom was comin' over to take Rooster to the movies,
所以我就跟着过来了没关系吧
so I thought I'd pop by. Is that cool?
没顺路过来当然行
Yeah. Pop bys are cool.
顺路过来也行顺道进来也行
Pop ins are cool, drop bys are cool,
来之前先打电♥话♥发短♥信♥说一声也可以
calling and texting first like everyone else is cool.
呃我们去看哪场电影
So, uh, what movie should we go see?
<气氛怪异>还是<走为上策>
This Just Got Weird or Let's Get the Fuck Out of Here?
我听说有部电影不错好像叫
I've heard really good things about
<若他负了爱女必杀之>
I Will Kill Him If He's a Dick to My Daughter.
没错 - 好好好
Right. - Okay, okay, okay.
我很抱歉
Look, I'm... I'm sorry.
我只是没想到你会来
I just... I wasn't expecting you
我刚打算做点什么呢
and I was planning on doing some stuff.
做什么
What kind of stuff?