牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E13

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:23 a.m.

Joanne 是单身而你也 - 不用了
Joanne is single. And you... - No.
拜托就一起吃顿饭而已
Oh, come on. Just a dinner.
没兴趣
Not interested.
如果你打算孤独终老悲惨收场的话随你吧
Oh, fine. If you want to be alone and miserable.
那正是他最想要的
That's when he's happiest.
说的没错我一个人也浪得风生水起
That's right. I can entertain myself.
看一只大象
Look, an elephant.
我想说的是
All I'm sayin' is
John Elway 聪明帅气
John Elway's smart, he's handsome,
他就是完美身材
he's in just excellent shape.
我可比不上
I could do a lot worse.
老兄你不可能得到完美七号♥ John Elway
Dude, you are not getting with number seven, John Elway.
拜托你连Peyton Manning都没法攻略
Okay? You're not even gettin' with Peyton Manning.
仔细想想 Eli Manning 也许有可能
I mean, maybe Eli Manning.
好吧随你怎么说不过你连Cooper Manning都搞不定好么
Yeah, whatever, man, you couldn't even get with Cooper Manning.
是吗如果Cooper Manning如果在约炮软件上
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, because if Cooper Manning's on Tinder
看到了Rooster他会直接划掉看都不看好吗
and he sees the Rooster, he's gonna swipe left.
我可不这么觉得
Eh, I don't think so.
我一直都挺喜欢Terry Bradshaw的
I always liked Terry Bradshaw.
Bucky 我点的单准备好了么 - 嗨 Ab
Bucky, you got my order? - Hey, Ab.
嘿 Colt 嘿 Rooster
Hey, Colt. Rooster.
Abby 问你个问题 - 你说
Abby, let me ask you a question. - Mmm?
你觉得我能约到Cooper Manning吗
You think I can get with Cooper Manning?
什么鬼当然不
What? No!
Archie Manning估计还有机会吧
Maybe Archie Manning.
说的真棒
Oh!
哦这也不错啊我可以和橄榄球历史上
Oh, okay, so I can get with the patriarch
最棒的四分卫家族的老爷子约会了
of the greatest QB dynasty in football history.
黑的漂亮傻瓜
Good insult, dummy.
嘿 Ab 我可以和你聊聊么
Hey, Ab, can I talk to you?
当然
Sure.
你最近怎么样 Hank
What's new with you, Hank?
我打算尝试一下无麸质饮食
I'm gonna try goin' gluten-free.
哇老兄那你得戒啤酒了啊
Wow, man, you're gonna give up beer, huh?
看来我不知道麸质是啥
I don't think I know what gluten is.
你看起来不错
You look cute.
谢谢
Thanks.
所以
And?
你也不错啊
You look cute, too?
哦谢谢亲爱的
Aw, thank you.
所以你有发现我留在你门廊的花(面粉)么
So, uh, did you get the flours I left over on your porch?
不我不记得有额
No, there wasn't any, uh...
等等你不会是说那两大袋面粉吧
Wait, you're not talkin' about those two bags of flour?
就是他们
Oh.
幸好你收到了
Good. You got 'em.
你为什么要这么做
Why'd you do that?
哦是这样我去一家杂货店
Oh, okay, so, I'm at the grocery store, right?
我走进去然后看到了一打玫瑰
And I walk in, and I see a dozen roses
就想 "噢老兄应该送些花给Abby"
and I think, "Oh, man, I should get these for Abby."
然后嗯我是说当然那些花也很不错
And, well... I mean, they were the nice ones, too.
简直可以打最高分
They were like 9999.
接着我想"如果被Kenny看到怎么办"
Then I think, "What if Kenny sees 'em?" Right?
所以我一边逛一边想"给她买♥♥什么好呢"
So, I'm walkin' around and I'm like, "What do I get her?"
然后我灵机一动想到了面粉
And then it hits me. Flour.
我买♥♥了两袋所以得加个复数"s" 面粉们
Well, then I got two of 'em, so there's an "S." Flours.
噢天呐这是我听过最扯的事
Oh, my God, that is the lamest thing I've ever heard.
噢是的这么扯那你还在笑什么
Oh, yeah, it's so lame that you're smilin'.
你喜欢我买♥♥的面粉们
You liked my flours.
你知道面粉这词没有复数形式就只是面粉
You know that flour doesn't have a plural. It's just flour.
我给你的不是单数而是复数的
I didn't give you flour. I gave you flours.
好吧不我是说
Okay. No. I'm sayin'...
算了不吵了谢谢你 - 不客气
You know what? Thank you. - Yeah.
噢嘿说起Kenny 你们已经分了对吗
Oh, hey, speaking of breaking up with Kenny, did you do it yet?
还没我的意思是他妈妈进城里来了
Not yet. I mean, his mom's been in town.
她跟我住在一块儿
She's stayin' with me.
她还教我做猎人烩鸡的家传秘方
She taught me the family recipe for chicken cacciatore.
哦她有没有教你怎么做芝士鸡扒
Oh. Did she teach you how to make the chicken parmesan?
没有为什么这么说 - 因为那道菜超棒
No, why? - Cause it's awesome. Duh.
嘿
Hey.
你还是想跟他分手的对吗
You still wanna do this, right?
当然只是很难这需要时间
Absolutely. It's just, it's hard. It's a matter of timing.
好吧好的我懂了没问题
Yeah. Oh yeah, I get it. It's no problem.
但会很快对吗
But, like, soon?
比如等他妈妈一走
Like, once his mom leaves.
会很快的 - 好极了
Soon. - Great.
到底什么时候呢
When?
再见 Colt
Goodbye, Colt.
哦进展得怎么样 John
Oh. How you doin', John?
满意
Swipe right.
伙计闻起来棒极了
Dude, that smells amazin'.
是的确实这就是为什么我要穿这条围裙的原因
Hell, yeah, it does. That's why I wear this apron.
没错
Yeah.
嗯有一点咸
Mmm. It's a little salty.
噢等等
Oh, wait.
不是我手上有汗
Nope, my hand's just sweaty.
好了好了烹饪当然还是我在行
Yeah, yeah, just leave the cookin' to me.
好的听着我知道我在说什么
Yeah, well, listen, I know what I'm talkin' about.
我吃遍了全世界
I've eaten all over the world.
明日世界主题公园里每个国家我都去过
Been to every country in Epcot.
伙计把你的汗手从我的肉上拿开
Dude, get your sweaty hands off my meat.
我说的时候还没反应过来但现在想想
I didn't know it when I said that, but now I think about it...
是的不你已经反应过来了 - 真恶心对
Yeah, no, you came around. - It's kinda gross. Yeah.
快滚出我的厨房♥
Get the fuck out of my kitchen.
嘿为什么做了四块牛排但只有三套餐具
Hey, why you got four steaks and only three place settings?
因为Mary会来这儿吃晚餐
'Cause Mary's coming over for dinner
而你在自己房♥里吃
and you're eatin' in your room.
为什么 - 呃因为Mary讨厌你
Why? - Uh, because Mary hates you,
老爸也讨厌你我也不是你的头号♥粉丝
and 'cause Dad hates you, and 'cause I'm not really a big fan.
啊随便了
Ah, whatever.
知道吗等我给Abby准备晚餐时
You know what? When I cook dinner for Abby,.
也不会邀请你的
you ain't invited
当你给Abby和Kenny还有他们的17个孩子做饭之时
Oh, yeah. When you cookfor Abby and Kenny and their 17 kids?
噢老兄她准备跟他分手了
Oh, man, she's gonna break up with him.
嗯哼
Uh-huh.
不她已经跟他分手了老兄
No. She is, man.
她喜欢我送她的"面粉们"
She loved the flours I got for her.
花了我不到五美元
Cost me less than five bucks.
五美元你买♥♥的哪种花
Five bucks? What kind of flowers did you get?
原色的那种
Unbleached.
听着他们已经在一起五年了情况很复杂
Listen, they've been together for five years. It's complicated.
外加Kenny的妈妈也在城里
Plus, Kenny's mom's in town.
他们互相交换鸡肉食谱和别的狗屁
They're swapping chicken recipes and shit.
噢是吗芝士鸡排的呢 - 还在努力
Oh, yeah? Chicken parm? - Workin' on it.
她说现在还不到时机所以
Well, she said it wasn't the right time. So...
哦乖乖为什么漂亮的人都那么蠢呢
Oh, honey. Why are the pretty ones always so dumb?
你刚刚叫我"亲爱的"
Did you just call me honey?
是的然后我还叫你蠢货了
I did. And then I called you dumb.
对但你还叫我"漂亮的家伙"了
Yeah, but you also called me pretty.
你使我想起Sarah Roberts了 - 那是谁
You remind me of Sarah Roberts. - Who's that?
以前我跟Jenny Winslow约会时
The side piece I used to keep around
留在身边搞暧昧的小对象
when I was datin' Jenny Winslow,
以防万一我跟Jenny交往不顺利
just in case things with me and Jenny didn't work out.
我叫她"小凯撒"
I used to call her Little Caesars,
因为她总是很性感火♥辣♥而且随叫随到
'cause she was always hot and ready.
而且她也的确在小凯撒披萨店工作所以
Also, she worked at Little Caesars, so...
哇哇哇哇哇
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
你觉得我是Abby的"小凯撒"
You think I'm Abby's Little Caesars?
伙计我只是说说说
Man, I'm just sayin'.
把人哄到手留在身边搞暧昧
It's easier to string somebody along
可比取消婚约容易多了
than it is to break up an engagement, you know?