牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E02

Part 1 June 24, 2021, 11:21 a.m.

*宝贝你就像首歌♥*
*Baby, you a song*
*你让我想摇下车窗*
*You make me wanna Roll my windows down*
*和你一起旅行*
*Cruise*
*耶当我第一眼看到穿着比基尼的她*
*Yeah, when I first saw Bikini top on her*
*婀娜地浮现在南乔治亚海面*
*Poppin' right out Of the South Georgia water*
*我的天她有一双小麦色的修长美♥腿♥*
*Good lord She had them long tanned legs*
你喜欢<佛罗里达至乔治亚航线>这乐队吗
You like Florida Georgia Line?
你喜欢激怒一个手里拿着圆盘锯的人
You like annoying a man holding a skill saw?
看来有人起床方式不太对啊
Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
那起码说明我有睡觉
That would imply that I slept.
我躺在床上一整晚都没睡着
I've been layin' awake all night
一直想着这个赔钱的农场
thinking of this money pit we call a ranch.
哦好吧也许你该喝点热牛奶
Oh, well, you should try warm milk.
或者茶
Or tea.
我们还有一大堆工作要做
We got a lot of work to do.
所以我现在什么都不想听到只求安静
So all I want to hear from now on is silence.
可是老爸你不可能真的什么都听不到
You know, Dad, you can't really hear silence.
那实际上是因为缺乏
It's actually the absence of all...
你的沉默说出了你的心
Your silence speaks volumes.
好吧我把需要的东西都拿上来了
All right, I think I got everything.
2乘4 4乘4 2乘6的木材
The two-by-fours, four-by-fours, two-by-sixes...
噢我还带了几把枪
Oh, yeah, I also brought a couple guns.
嘣
Boom!
咱们开工吧
Let's do this.
哦那是爸爸的锤子
Oh, that's Dad's hammer.
好吧别逗了老兄
All right. Cool story, bro.
不不不
No, no, no.
所有上面写着'Beau'的工具都不能动
Any tool that says "Beau" On it is off limits.
同样所有写着'Pedro'的工具都是我的
Also, any tool that says "Pedro" Is mine.
我从我兄弟Predro那儿偷的
I stole them from my boy Pedro.
够了
That's enough.
你其实不需要锤子你需要的是铁铲
You're not gonna need a hammer. You need a shovel.
你要去牛圈铲牛粪
You're gonna go shovel out the bull barn.
为什么我不能在这儿帮忙呢
Why can't I help up here?
我需要一个知道自己在干什么的人在这儿
I need somebody up here that knows what they're doing.
好吧我知道我在干什么
Well, I know what I'm doing!
你现在做的事就是在拖后腿
All you're doing right now is slowing us down.
这我也明白
And I know that, too.
我不知道为什么我非得做脏活累活
I don't see why I gotta do all the grunt work.
Colt 让我来给你解释一下好吗
Colt, let me explain something to you, all right?
我们三个就像一个图腾柱
Now, the three of us are like a totem pole.
爸爸在最上面
Dad's up on top.
他是只雄鹰在我们上面盘旋
He's an eagle, you know, soaring above us all.
他非常珍稀但你只要瞥一眼就会发现非常奇妙
He's rare, but when you catch a glimpse, it's magical.
在他下面就是我公鸡
Now, below him is me, the rooster.
但是更像一只厉害的公鸡
But, like, a badass rooster.
我是早上第一个醒的
I'm the first one up in the morning,
在辣酱的标签上也有我的头像
and I'm on the label of hot sauce bottles.
好吧那我是什么呢狼或者狮子
All right, what am I? Like, a wolf or... A lion?
你就像只河狸懂不
You're like a beaver, right?
在水里到处游
Just swimming around,
收集木头
gathering the wood and
还有公鸡和雄鹰需要的破烂
the crap that the rooster and the eagle need
好把河坝建起阻断水流
to build the dam to keep the water out.
哇哦我不想骗你
Wow, I am not gonna lie to you.
我一开始真不知道这个比喻会变成这样子
I did not know where this analogy was going when I first started,
但我这比喻真是太完美了
but it is rock fucking solid.
Rooster - 干嘛我的雄鹰
Rooster? - Yes, my eagle.
闭嘴
Shut up.
午饭时见
See you at lunch.
一会儿见河狸
See ya later, Beave.
8年级时我用你的牙刷刷过我的蛋蛋
You know, in 8th grade, I used your toothbrush to scrub my balls.
他来了我们以为你晚上要出去浪呢
Well, there he is. We thought you were out for the night.
爸爸本想给你盖条毯子
Dad was gonna put a blanket on you,
我本想在你额头上画个丁丁
I was gonna come over and draw a dick on your forehead.
几点了 - 六点半
What time is it? - 6:30.
你们都吃完了就不能叫我起床吗
You guys already ate? You couldn't have woke me?
我们每晚6点整吃饭
We eat dinner at 6:00.
我还有一堆事要忙活
I got a lot of things to do around here,
叫醒一个打盹儿的成年人可不是我的事
waking a grown man from his nap isn't one of them.
你怎么不帮着我说话
Why didn't you say anything?
我本可以的但我这样能吃到两块牛排
Well, I could have, but this way I got two steaks for dinner.
而且还能听到老爸嘲笑你的午觉作为饭后甜点所以
Plus, I got to hear Dad make fun of your nap for dessert. So...
肉吃光了
The meat's gone.
还剩一个烤土豆和半勺豆子
There's a baked potato and half a scoop of beans there.
肉竟然吃没了
The meat's gone?
嘿我们明天还要在牛舍干活吗
Hey, we working on the barn again tomorrow?
我们明早得把纸和木瓦板给安上
We'll get the paper and the shingles on in the morning.
我们可以让Colt骑在北面的篱笆上
We can have Colt ride the fence on the north side,
看看风暴会不会把梁柱吹倒
see if that storm knocked any limbs down.
连半勺都没有
That ain't even a half a scoop.
那是4个豆子和一个火腿骨
That's, like, four beans and a ham bone.
别碰那个骨头那是留给狗的
Don't touch that ham bone. It's for the dog.
好吧你什么时候开始让狗进房♥了
Yeah, by the way, since when do you allow dogs in the house?
你应该问我
Better question would be
为什么我允许你和Rooster呆在房♥子里
why I allow you and Rooster in the house.
喔喔喔喔喔
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
别冲友军开火老鹰
Friendly fire there, Eagle.
现在可是对付河狸的时候
It's beaver hunting season.
哦妈啊撑死我了真不该吃第二块牛排
Oh, man, am I full. I should not have eaten that second steak.
老爸我在想既然我们在重修牛舍屋顶
Hey, Dad, uh, I was thinking, since we're re-doing the barn roof,
我们可以接个排水管连到蓄水池防止水流失
we could run a drain pipe down to a cistern, catch the run-off.
这些额外的水可以喂牛和灌溉
It's extra water for the cattle and irrigation.
好主意
That's a great idea.
谢谢 - 我跟Rooster刚才在商量
Thank you. - Rooster and I were just discussing
我们希望能多增加点项目忙活呢
how we wish we had a few more projects around here.
老爸我就是想帮帮忙
Dad, I'm just trying to help.
除非你有更多好主意我可是需要很多钱缴清账单
Unless you got any more ideas, I got bills to pay.
事实上我还有个主意
Uh, actually... I got another idea.
我可以帮你开户让你在网上付账
I could set you up so you could pay those bills online.
喔喔喔别说了快停下
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Pull back, man. Abort.
为什么非得把我的银行信息放到网上呢
Why would I put my bankin' info online?
这样半个中国的人口都能用它付账了是吗
So half the population of China can pay their bills with it, too?
Rooster 去拿支笔在你弟弟头上画个丁丁
Rooster, go grab a pen and draw that dick on your brother's head.
嘿甜心
Hey, sweetheart.
你好啊我亲爱的Margaret
Hello to you, my sweet Margaret.
我是在和我儿子说话
I was talking to my son.
值得一试
Worth a shot.
给我一杯威士忌
Give me a whiskey the size
要有如果你还和爸爸在一起的那么多的量
you'd need if you were still living with Dad.
今天跟他起矛盾了 - 事实上我一整天都看不到他
Rough day with him? - Actually, I didn't see him all day.
他和Rooster在阁楼上
He was up in the loft with Rooster.
我在用Pedro的铲子挖牛粪
I was scooping shit with Pedro's shovel.
现在我的后背疼的要死我虽不认识这个Pedro
Now my back is killing me. I don't know who this Pedro guy was...
但能肯定他绝对是个小矮子
must've been a very short man.
不管怎样我还是爱你的亲爱的
Well, I still love you, sweetheart.
我想搞清楚
So just to be clear,
'甜心'就只是指他对吗
"Sweetheart" Is always in reference to him?
我有没有和你说过
Did I ever tell you about
我和你♥爸♥的第一次约会
the first date I ever had with your father?
就在农场
It was on the ranch.
我们干了一天的活儿然后吃了晚饭大概在6点
We worked all day, had dinner, promptly at 6:00.
我甚至都没意识到这个约会直到他说
I didn't even know it was a date until he said...
'你想留下来吃早饭吗'
"You wanna stay for breakfast?"
你是想说爸爸总是那么混♥蛋♥吗
So, what're you saying? Dad's always been a jackass?
不我想说的是任何和你♥爸♥爸的关系
No, my point is that every relationship with your father
都是从在农场上辛劳工作开始的
begins with hard work on the ranch.
你只需要努力证明你自己的实力
And you just gotta keep proving yourself.
不过他也确实一直那么混♥蛋♥
And that he's, you know, always been kind of a jackass.
哇哦看看你
Wow, look at you.