牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E13

Part 1 June 24, 2021, 11:23 a.m.

好了我觉得我找到问题所在了 - 哪儿
All right. I think I found the problem. - What is it?
这卡车就是一坨废铁
This truck is a piece of shit.
这发电机坏了线圈都老化了
I mean, the alternator's shot. Ignition coil's all worn.
这个风扇皮带看起来像是用胶带做的
This fan belt's made out of what appears to be duct tape
这个绑带好像是从丝质睡衣上扯下来的
and the duct belt from a silk robe.
上帝啊这里唯一有用的就这个了
Jesus, man, the only thing that works is this.
真靠谱啊 - 当然不过可比不过这样
Sweet, huh? - Yeah, it's almost as sweet as this.
好吧
Oh.
想开点兄弟这没那么坏啊
Come on, man. This ain't too bad.
赶了一天牛之后我俩一起修理我们的卡车
Just workin' on our truck after a long day of herdin' cattle.
哦该死
Oh, shit.
Eric Church的歌♥不就是在写我们这样的男子汉吗
Eric Church writes songs about guys like us.
*两个男人围着卡车喝酒*
*Two guys drinkin' beer Workin' on a truck*
*一个真特么好看一个真特么难看*
*One's handsome as hell And the other is ugly as fuck*
哎呀 Colt 其实你也没那么丑啦
Come on, Colt, you're not that ugly.
哦我也想到一个
Oh, I got one.
*你的女票才不会和她未婚夫分手*
*Your girlfriend won't Break up with her fiance*
*你要不直接分手去搞基*
*Might as well give it up And just go gay?*
伙计她会和他分手的只是需要一点时间
Man, she's gonna break up with him. It's just a matter of time.
当然了她肯定会的
Yeah, sure she is.
不过你知道么就算我是弯的
Ah, you know, even if I was into dudes,
我照样比你有人气
I'd still be getting laid more than you.
说不定现在我男人就是John Elway了
Probably be dating John Elway right now.
John Elway是直男
John Elway's not gay.
那是没遇上我
Not yet.
干嘛呢 Mary
What is up, Mary?
嗨宝贝
Hi, baby.
你想怎么处理那个废物
What are you doing with this piece of shit?
嗯好歹让它能发动
Mmm. Trying to get it to run.
不是我在说你的废柴弟弟
Oh, no, I was talking about your brother.
额 Mary 其实
Hey, Mary. Look,
关于Heather 我很抱歉她现在还好么
I'm sorry about everything with Heather. How's she doin'?
她还行啊
She's doing great.
她不过是失去了一个180斤的傻大个
She just lost 200 pounds of worthless loser.
我其实是174斤不过这槽吐的不错
I'm 192, but whatever. That's a good joke.
你准备好走了么
You ready to go?
恩我正打算进去清理一下
Yeah, I'm gonna go inside and wash up.
把修车粘到手上的润滑油洗掉
Got grease all over my hands from workin' on the truck.
反正就是些很有男子气概的事
You know, some badass man stuff.
对你就是个坐在你女朋友
Yeah, you can be a real
摩托车后座的铁血真男人
badass man on the back of your girlfriend's bike.
你坐后面没事还可以帮她编辫子
You ought to braid her hair while you're back there.
我觉得我载着Rooster挺好的 - 听到了吧
I don't mind having Rooster behind me. - Hey-yo.
额所以
So, it's...
凛冬将 - 混账东西你怎么不自己操自己呢
Winter's comin'... - Why don't you go fuck yourself, asshole?
*泡沫满满泡沫满满*
*Suds and bubbles. Suds and bubbles*
*多有趣多有趣*
*Lots of fun. Lots of fun*
*清理干净清理干净*
*Clean away the dirt now Clean away the dirt now*
*没细菌没细菌*
*Germs are done. Germs are done*
我也有首歌♥送你
I got a song for you.
*赶快闭嘴赶快闭嘴*
*Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up*
嗨 Beau - 嗨 Mary
Oh, hey, Beau. - Hey, Mary.
哇就吃冷冻快餐啊
Wow, TV dinner?
你干嘛在这郁郁寡欢的啊
What are you the opposite of celebrating?
没那么差啦
Not that bad.
这里面有你需要的所有食物啊
It's got all your major food groups.
我们有黄色的食物绿色的食物
Got the yellows, got the greens...
褐色的黑色的
brown, black...
哦天啦黑色的是什么
Oh, God, what's the black?
我估计是盘子吧
I think it's the tray.
不过比黄色的好吃多了所以我打算吃掉它
But it tastes better than the yellow, so I'm eatin' it.
哦亲爱的你可不能吃这种东西
Oh, honey, you can't eat this.
要不你和我们一起去饼干桶餐厅吧
Why don't you come to the Cracker Barrel with us?
我有员工折扣哦
You can use my discount.
不用了
No.
我懂你的不会就Rooster和你我也会去的啦
I know, but it won't be just Rooster. I'll be there, too.
谢谢啦 Mary 不过我想还是算了
Thanks, Mary, but I'm gonna pass.
行了我们试过了
Well, we tried.
Rooster
Rooster.
行吧
Fine.
爸今晚有幸与你一起共进晚餐么
Dad, would you please come to dinner?
这世上最幸福的事莫过于和亲爱的女朋友烛光晚餐时
I can't think of nothin' more enjoyable than havin' a romantic dinner
旁边还坐着我脾气暴躁的老爸
with my girlfriend and my angry dad.
好了说说吧是因为Maggie么
Come on, is this about Maggie?
Rooster说自从她走了之后
Rooster said you've hardly
你就没离开过牧场
even left the ranch since she took off.
哦他这样说了么
Oh, he did, did he?
哦真谢谢你牢记了这一部分
Oh, that's funny you remember that part,
却忘了我反复说过
but you forgot the part where I said,
"不要告诉我爸我跟你说了这些"
"Don't tell my dad I told you this."
你现在还好么
You doin' all right?
怎么说结婚有四十年的发妻离开了我
Well, my wife of 40 years left me,
而我还有Colt和Rooster在这
but I still got Colt and Rooster
时刻提醒着我我们两夫妻犯了多少错
here to remind me of all the mistakes we made.
我记得我12岁的生日贺卡上你就是这么写的
Believe you wrote that in my 12th birthday card.
好吧别这样晚餐会很不错的还有家庭式自♥制♥曲奇
All right, come on. Dinner'll be fun. Home-style cookin'.
你既不用洗碗
You don't have to do the dishes,
更不用吃掉那些碗
and you don't have to eat the dishes.
她绝不会接受拒绝的
She's not gonna take no for an answer.
她可相当有说服力
She can be very persuasive.
好吧不过这应该对你没用
Well, that probably doesn't apply to you.
好吧运气好说不定我就被饼干噎死了
Okay, maybe I'll get lucky and choke on a biscuit.
如果你愿意的话我可以替你开车
Hey, if you want, I can drive your truck for ya.
Rooster说过你晚上不太看得清
Rooster said you're having trouble seeing at night.
*赶快闭嘴赶快闭嘴*
*Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up*
你要干嘛
What are you doing?
呃我打算让这些冰茶体验一把长岛的魅力
I'm, uh, takin' this iced tea on a little trip to Long Island.
Rooster 这里可是家庭式餐厅
Rooster, this is a family restaurant.
家庭重在分享
Share with your family.
嗨我是Joanne 今晚我将是你们的
Hi, I'm Joanne, I'll be your...
哦 Mary
Mary.
好吧那这样轻松多了
Well, this is gonna save some time.
你告诉他们有哪些特色菜我去洗手间嗨一把
You tell 'em the specials. I'm gonna go get high in the bathroom.
哦那我也该去一趟了
Uh, I gotta go to the bathroom, too.
Joanne 这是我的男朋友 Rooster
Mmm-hmm. Joanne, this is my boyfriend, Rooster,
和他的爸爸 Beau - 我的荣幸
and his father, Beau. - Pleasure.
很高兴见到你女士 - 哦那个大傻帽在哪儿
Pleasure to meet you, ma'am. - Well, where's shithead?
哦那是嗯那是我给Colt起的小爱称
Oh, that's, um, that's what I call Colt.
我当然知道她说的是谁
I knew who she meant.
Beau和Rooster 很高兴认识你们
It's a pleasure to meet you, Beau, Rooster.
说起来我正打算跟你打电♥话♥
Hey, I was gonna call you.
这周六你能帮我顶个班么我要去打猎
Can you take my shift on Saturday? I'm going huntin'.
哦你是个猎手你一般打些什么
Oh, you're a hunter. What are you goin' after?
像鹿啊麋鹿啊我前夫啊
Deer, elk, my ex-husband.
哪个先踏进我的地盘都可以
Whatever comes on my property first.
不过我还是有最想干掉的啦
I know what I'm hopin' for.
你们都想点些什么
What are you all havin'?
我想要炸鸡排
I'd like the chicken fried steak,
炸秋葵还有炸苹果谢谢
fried okra and fried apples, please.
一大份油炸食品啊
That's a lot of fried food.
有什么问题么
That a problem?
只要你给完小费什么时候突然挂掉都不关我事
Hey, I don't care if you drop dead, so long as you tip me first.
我要鸡汤煮饺子
I'll have the chicken and dumplings.
你就是我的鸡汤煮饺子
You're my chicken and dumplings.
我的天 Joanne 他归你了
Oh. Joanne, you can have him.
算了吧
Pass.
哇我现在觉得有趣了
All right, now I'm havin' fun.
我也要炸鸡排好了谢谢
I, too, will have a chicken fried steak, please.
好的菜一会就上 - 谢谢你
Great, I'll put it in. - Thank you.
哦我天我刚刚想到一个绝妙的主意
Oh, my God, I just had the best idea.