牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E12

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:22 a.m.

我们把得到多少写下来
We'll write down how much we got...
然后数三声我们就给对方看
and on the count of three, we show it to each other.
行
Fine.
可以了吗
Ready?
一二三
One, two, three.
"去你的" - "去你的"
"Fuck you." - "Fuck you."
去你的 - 去你的
Fuck you. - "Fuck you.
哇哦
Whoa!
看这个酷炫的大家伙 - 对啊
Look at this bad boy, F-350. - Yeah.
天哪自从你被南加大录取后
Man, I haven't seen a truck like this
我还没见过像这样的卡车
since you got recruited by USC.
老天如果这是我的卡车
Man, if this truck was mine,
我要做的第一件事就是开到山顶上
the first thing I'd do is drive to the top of a mountain
然后让老鹰在我手上降落
and let an eagle land on my hand.
那酷毙了
That'd be badass.
我猜这是Ed的车 - Ed吗
Guess this is Ed's rig. - Ed?
是Ed Bishop吗你怎么知道的
Oh, Ed Bishop? How do you know that?
车牌上写的 "此车属于Ed"
License plate says, "Ed's Rig."
如果这是我的车牌上面会写"米国"
If that was my license plate, it'd say "Merica."
"米"字大号♥
With capital "M".
这也酷毙了
That'd be badass, too.
嚯嚯嚯 - Ed来了快把啤酒藏起来
Hey, hey, hey! - Whoa-ho! Ed's here! Hide the beer!
嘿 Rooster来了快把羊藏起来
Hey, Rooster's here! Hide the sheep!
见到你真好 - 过得怎么样还好吗
Good to see you. - What's up man? You good?
挺好的很高兴见到你 Colt - 嘿你怎么样 Ed
All right. Good to see you, Colt. - Hey. How are you, Ed?
嘿你哥还在"羊交"吗
Hey, your brother still screwing sheep?
有啥"新鲜"事啊 Ed
What's new, Ed?
他的卡车他的臀部和他的老婆
His truck, his hip and his wife.
真遗憾你和Jocelyn分手了吗
Sorry to hear that. You and Jocelyn split?
是啊这么多年日子真是黑暗啊
Yeah, it was real dark there for a lot of years.
直到我遇到了我38岁的新老婆
Then I met my new 38-year-old wife.
我有提过她才38岁吗
Did I mention that she's 38?
有啊 - 有吗
Yeah. - Yeah?
听到了吗 Rooster 他老婆比你女朋友还年轻
Hear that, Rooster? His wife's younger than your girlfriend.
呵呵是啊你女朋友还和Kenny订婚了
Yeah, well, your girlfriend's engaged to Kenny.
大哥他不该提这事的
Dude! He's not supposed to say anything.
她不是我女朋友
She's not my girlfriend.
我们是接过吻我是说她确实喜欢我
We did kiss. I mean, she's pretty into me.
虽然我不能告诉你们是谁
I can't tell you who, though.
是Abby 我们复合了
It's Abby. We're back.
要啤酒吗 - 当然
Want a beer? - Yeah.
刚才你♥爸♥和我在谈论
So, your dad and I were just talking
我们一起去钻石湖钓鱼的那次
about that fishing trip we all took up to Diamond Lake.
哎你记得
Hey, you remember
Rooster帮我们看路好把船拖进湖里吗
when Rooster was trying to help us guide the boat into the lake?
"往后往后"
"Back up! Back up!"
"太过了"
"Too far!"
那天我们唯一从那片湖中"钓"出来的是我的卡车
The only thing we fished out of the water that day was my truck.
对
Yeah.
记得妈妈还在车后面打盹儿吗
Remember Mom was trying to take a nap in the back?
她差点淹死
She almost drowned.
不过这点并不有趣
That part wasn't funny, though.
所以现在Maggie在哪儿呢
Say, where is Maggie anyway?
我们分开了一阵子
We separated a while back.
然后她离开了我
Then she left me.
我真是哪壶不开提哪壶
Well, glad I brought that up.
看看那辆卡车 Ed
Well, look at that truck, Ed.
那是什么 6.7升的排量吗
What's that, a 6.7 liter power stroke?
那简直就是个猛兽
That's a beast.
老天 Ed 新卡车新老婆绝杀啊
Man, Ed. New truck, new wife... killing it!
你简直是个"刺客"
You're an assassin.
你想带"她"去试一把吗
You wanna take her for a spin?
什么你的卡车还是你的老婆
What? The truck or your wife?
有趣
That's funny.
你知道我曾是海军狙击手对吧
You know I was a sniper in the Marines, right?
你是个刺客真正的刺客
You are an assassin. A literal assassin.
噢副驾驶归我
Oh, I call shotgun!
应该选驾驶座的笨蛋
Could've called driver, dummy.
对如果我在开车
Yeah, well, if I'm drivin',
就没法对着雪佛兰车店露屁屁嘘他们了
how am I gonna moon the Chevy dealership?
真高兴见到他们
It's good to see them.
你很快就不会这么觉得了
That'll wear off quick.
再来一轮啤酒
Want another beer?
要不我们换点儿新花样吧怎么样
What do you say we break this out, hmm?
见鬼 Ed 那可是上好的威士忌
Damn, Ed, that's some fancy whiskey.
你在那手提包里还藏了什么好东西
What else you hiding in that purse of yours?
你还是喜欢雪茄的对吧
Well, you still enjoy a good cigar, right?
那还用说(Dolly Parton还躺着睡觉吗)
Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?
我们去门廊吧
Let's go out on the porch.
我感觉我们俩有的聊了
I feel a sales pitch coming on.
听起来不错
Sounds good.
说起来我有没有说过我老婆才38岁
Say, did I mention to you that my wife's only 38?
当然你都说了两次
Yeah, you did. Twice.
哦那是因为我的记忆力正在衰退
Oh, that's 'cause my memory's slippin'.
不过她的记忆力十分的好毕竟她才38岁
But hers is still sharp 'cause she's only 38.
你打算直接开始劝我卖♥♥了牧场
You gonna go right to convincing me to sell my ranch?
还是我们先喝几杯再聊
Or we got time for a couple of drinks first?
诺曼山会不会希望我回去
Does Neumann's Hill want me to come back
告诉他们伟大的Beau Bennett想要入伙呢
and tell them the great Beau Bennett wants to partner up with us?
当然但我们都心知肚明你不吃这一套
Of course. But we both know you're never gonna go for that.
所以让我讲完我的说辞
So let me get through my pitch,
回去告诉他们我完成了工作
go back and tell 'em I did my job,
这样我们可以接着花他们的钱喝酒了
and we can get back to drinking on their dime.
你跟这酒一样"顺滑"啊 Ed
You're almost as smooth as this whiskey, Ed.
当然诺曼山可不是因为颜值才看中我的
Well, Neumann's Hill didn't pick me for my looks.
你新老婆也是
Neither did your new wife.
Beau 当我还是个牧场主时
You know, Beau, when I was a rancher...
我也绝不愿意任何人动我的地
I never would have let anybody take over my place, either.
但我们不是干这个的
That's not what we do.
你仍然拥有你的土地
You still own your land.
我们只是付你固定的钱让你为我们养牛
We just pay you a guaranteed price to raise the cattle for us.
这样你再不用担心
And you'll never have to worry
哪一年生意不好了
about having another bad year in your life.
我也不会有生意好的时候了
I'll never have a great year, either.
我不是来向你推销什么的
I'm not here to sell you anything.
这点值得干一杯
I'll drink to that.
为什么我的餐巾纸上写着 "去你的"
Why does my napkin say, "Fuck you"?
我早就知道你会来 Ed
I knew you were coming by, Ed.
哦看看这些人你好啊 Bills - 你好
Oh, look at these guys. What's up, Bills? - Hey.
嗨 Nikki - 嗨 Beer Pong
Oh, hey, Nikki. - Hey, Beer Pong.
你好啊 Nikki 你们俩来干嘛
What's up Nikki? What you guys doin'?
三个月纪念日我们刚刚吃完饭
Three month anniversary. We just finished dinner.
我们打算去特柳赖德看8:20的那场电影
We're gonna catch a movie at 8:20 in Telluride.
8:20 时间快到了呀
20? Cuttin' that one close.
所以警笛才能发挥作用嘛
That's what the sirens are for.
走之前我得去尿尿
Okay, I'm gonna pee before we go.
我不能在看电影时被人看见站起来
I can't let anyone see me get up during the movie.
我们订了残疾人专座
We reserved the handicapped seats.
最赞的就是如果有人识破了
What's awesome about it is if someone calls you on it,
你装聋就好了
you just act deaf.
确实不错
I like that.
Bucky 这边两瓶
Hey, Bucky. Two.
来三瓶吧
Make it three.
你们知道有谁需要卡车么
Hey, you guys know anybody who needs a truck?
你是说你那辆野马
Talking about the Bronco?
哦我在那车上和Melissa Richards干过一炮
Oh, man! I boned Melissa Richards in that truck.
我也在那车上和Melissa Richards干过一炮
I boned Melissa Richards in that truck.
我买♥♥那辆车的时候Melissa Richards还是我女朋友
I was dating Melissa Richards when I bought that truck.
说真的你干嘛要卖♥♥了那辆车啊
Seriously, man. Why you wanna sell that truck?
那车可赞了
The Bronco is awesome.