牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S01E05

Part 2 June 24, 2021, 11:21 a.m.

Come on, it'll be fun.
我会给你做蜂蜜花生酱三明治
I'll make you peanut butter and honey sandwiches.
香蕉是香蕉花生酱三明治
Banana! It's peanut butter and banana!
好吧香蕉花生酱三明治
Fine, peanut butter and banana.
如果你不能认真对待打猎那就别费工夫了
Look, if you're not gonna take this serious, don't even bother.
你来还是不来
Are you in or not?
我想我会来的
Yeah, I guess.
听着各位
Listen up, everybody.
Rooster Bennett要和他妈咪一起去打猎了
Rooster Bennett's going hunting with his mommy.
妈你在干什么你这是让我难堪
What are you doing, Mom? You're embarrassing me.
我知道这是我俩之间的羁绊
I know. That's our thing.
你为什么不能晚上洗澡
Why can't you just shower at night?
不能这么做 Colt 我告诉你原因
Not gonna do that, Colt, and I'll tell you why.
热水不够这个问题又不关我事
I do not currently have a problem getting enough hot water.
你又为什么不晚上洗澡
Why don't you shower at night?
因为我
Because I...
我有点小状况
I have an issue.
是头发的原因吧不是吗
It's your hair, ain't it?
如果湿着头发睡觉
If I go to sleep and it's damp,
第二天早晨头发就会贴头皮
I have zero volume in the morning.
这么多年来我一直想要个妹妹现在她来了
All those years I wanted a little sister. Here she is.
妈 - 嗨 Colt
Ma? - Hey, Colt.
你戴的是我的围巾吗
Are you wearing my scarf?
不这是老爹的围巾
No. This one's Dad's.
搭配他的牛仔休闲套装
Goes with his denim leisure suit.
这是我的枪吗你们在这儿做什么
Is that my gun? What are you doing here anyway?
打猎季开放日啊
Opening day.
是的我和妈妈一起去打猎
Yeah. I'm going with Mom.
就像毕业舞会一样
Just like junior prom.
她不是我的舞伴我只是忘了带胸花白♥痴♥
She was not my date. I just forgot my boutonniere, shithead.
没错我逼他和我跳舞他觉得丢脸极了
Oh, yeah, I made him dance with me. He was mortified.
但我超级享受
That was awesome.
我的帽子哪儿去了 -什么帽子
Hey, where's my hat? - What hat?
我最喜欢的那顶"约翰迪尔"帽
My favorite hat. You know, my John Deere hat?
沾着油漆闻起来像鱼饵店的
Paint stains? Smells like a bait shop?
我昨晚好像戴过那顶帽子
Yeah, I might have worn that hat last night.
什么好像戴过还是确实戴过
What? You might have worn it or you did wear it?
确实戴过吧我不确定
Okay, I guess I did. I don't know.
我们去装货上车吧
Let's load the truck.
真的你难道不想知道帽子去哪儿了吗
Really? You're not dying to find out what happened to the hat?
真不敢相信你弄丢了我的帽子
I can't believe you lost my hat, man.
你昨晚去哪儿了
Where'd you go last night?
去了我好兄弟Will他家
Oh, I went to my buddy Will's place.
我们准备在当地公园四处转转
Yeah, we were gonna cruise around the local parks,
看看有没有高中生偷偷躲着喝酒
see if we could find high school kids drinking.
我们就假装是警♥察♥ 把他们吓个半死
Then pretend we're cops, scare the crap out of them,
看他们落荒而逃偷他们的啤酒喝
watch them run, and steal their beers.
简单爆了真的
It's pretty simple, really.
你只需要一个手电筒和一副低沉的嗓音
I mean, all you need is a flashlight and a deep voice.
你们这群混小子在干什么
What are you kids doing?
我知道怎么从未成年小子们那儿偷酒 Colt
Yeah. I know how to steal beers from teenagers, Colt.
问题是我帽子去哪了
Where's my hat?
没错我们发现需要些新的啤酒保温罩
Oh, yeah. Then we realized we needed some new beer cozies,
所以我们先去了加油站
so we went to the gas station,
看到一些有比基尼妹子照片的超赞保温罩
found these sweet ones with girls in bikinis on them.
当保温罩遇冷比基尼就会消失
When the cozy gets cold, the bikinis disappear.
别担心保温罩一个没丢
Don't worry, we did not lose those.
事实上我确定那时候帽子还在我头上
But, here's the thing, I know I still had the hat on
因为Mark 那个店员他对我说
'cause Mark, the clerk, he said,
"小甜帽你想买♥♥些冰♥毒♥吗"
"Sweet hat. You wanna buy some meth?"
然后我很礼貌地拒绝了
Then I politely declined.
之后我们上了Will的卡车
Then we got into Will's truck,
我们去公园吓走了一群混小子后来
we went and found some kids, roused them, and then...
我先喝了一瓶啤酒接着又喝了几瓶
I cracked my first beer, then I had a few more.
老兄后来的事就有些模糊了
Man, that's where it gets a little fuzzy.
我记得穿过了DQ的汽车通道
I remember going through a Dairy Queen drive-through.
有我 Will 和他叫"浣熊"的小狗
It was me and Will and his dog named Raccoon...
那只狗说不定真的是只浣熊来着
Although it might have been an actual raccoon.
我知道的是它超喜欢吃那巧克力酱脆皮甜筒
All I know is, he was real excited about that chocolate dip cone.
你到底哪根筋搭错了
What the hell is wrong with you?
这个问题问的好
That's a fair question.
给你可以戴我的帽子 - 我不想要你的
Here, you can just take my hat. - I don't want your hat.
那就随便拿一顶戴呗
Fine, just grab another hat.
好啊我该选哪顶呢
Oh, okay. Well, which hat should I grab?
我的"得伟"帽不那是钓鱼时戴的
My DeWalt hat? No. That's for fishing.
我的"专业鲈钓商店"帽
My Bass Pro Shops hat?
不那是去教堂时戴的
No. That's for church.
我的"免费胡子骑行"帽
My "Free Mustache Rides" Hat?
不那是洲际展览会时戴的
No. That's for the state fair.
听着这事你也有责任
Listen, this is kinda your fault.
要是我先前洗了澡就不用戴帽子遮头发了
If I'da just had a shower, I wouldn't've needed a hat.
你俩还没吵完吗 - 我们要走了
You two still at it? - We're leaving.
我不去了找不到帽子我是不会去的
Well, I'm not going. I'm not going without my hat.
好吧再见
Okay, bye.
我妹妹真是一贱婊
My sister is such a bitch.
你知道我和那帽子的共同经历吗
You know what that hat and I have been through?
我能自行脑补
I can only imagine.
我学会开车时戴的是那顶帽子
Learned how to drive in that hat.
我去返校节时戴的是那顶帽子
I went to my homecoming in that hat.
我失去我少男童真时戴的是那顶帽子
I even lost my... boyhood in that hat.
那种时候你还戴帽子
You left your hat on?
是一种需求
It was a request.
那顶帽子的所棒之处就在于此
That's how awesome that hat was.
类似于三人行
It was basically a threesome.
Rooster Bennett和Debbie Pearson还有"John Deere"
Rooster Bennett, Debbie Pearson, John Deere.
我不知道你出于什么原因
Well, I don't know why you'd wanna cover up
想要将你一头秀丽的卷发遮挡起来
that beautiful head of curly hair anyway.
没错我的卷发帅爆了
Yeah, my hair does kick ass.
但那并没有解决我和Colt的问题
But that doesn't solve my Colt problem.
那家伙回到镇上从来不考虑别人只顾自己
Guy comes back into town, thinks about no one but himself.
还是老样子
Same old Colt.
好吧我明白
All right, okay, I get it.
Colt有时候很自私
Colt can be selfish at times.
这就是为什么我现在和你呆在同一个捕鸭棚里
That's why I'm in this blind with you.
你弟弟和你老爹有很多缺点
Your brother and your father have a lot of problems.
没错
Yeah.
但我们俩
But you and I?
我们是完美的存在
We're perfect.
虽然你只是随口说说但这句事实胜于雄辩
I know you're just saying that, but it's kinda true.
如果你被气昏了头
And if it gets to be too much,
我有个好方法来平息怒火
here's a good way to deal with anger.
他到底有什么毛病只是顶帽子罢了
What is that guy's problem? I mean, it's just a hat.
他要是这么在乎的话
If he cared so much about it,
干嘛把帽子挂在公用帽架上
why'd he put it on the community hat rack?
我觉得他只是想找个理由来冲我发火
Well, I think he just wants something to be pissed off at me about.
没错它们朝这飞过来了 Drake
Yeah, they're working this way, Drake.
使他们的方式这么
Making their way this...
噢你是说鸭子
Oh, the ducks. Yeah.
我的意思是他凭什么这么生气
I mean, it's just... it's like, how's he the one who's upset?
我们三个老爷们儿同住一屋檐下
I mean, there's three of us living there now. Right?
分享东西是理所当然的热水和帽子之类的
We got to share things, hot water and hats.
该死有天他拿了我一瓶啤酒喝
Hell, the other day he took one of my beers,
你也没见我像他那样抱怨
you didn't see me complaining.
那啤酒是我的
Those were my beers.
没错我们心里有数
Exactly, we get it.
真是抱歉他抱怨个不停
I'm sorry he's so annoying.
谢谢
Yeah, thank you.
我是在和狗狗说话
I was talking to the dog.
听着别因为帽子的事
Look, don't let this hat thing with your brother
而毁了开放日好吗
ruin opening day, all right?
他只是和你闹着玩