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他叫我坐下来 在布里治汉普顿的糖果厨房♥
He sat me down at the Candy Kitchen in Bridgehampton
承诺要让我接♥班♥
and he fuckin' promised it to me.
我七岁的时候
Seven years old
你们能想象吗
Like, can you imagine?
对啦
Yeah.
有图有真♥相♥
Pics or it didn't happen.
那...很过分
That was... messed up.
他不该那么做的
Like, he shouldn't have done that.
对 他不该那么说
No. He shouldn't have said that.
我的意思是 他说过的话很多
I'm simply saying he said a lot of things..
而且都是先跟我说的
and he said them to me first
但是 是最后跟我说的
Yeah, and he said it to me last.
你想当CEO吗
Do you even want it?
因为...葬礼的时候
Because... at the funeral, yeah?
你不是那种人
Like, you're... you're not that guy.
你不是... -什么
You're not... -What?
你镇不住场面
You couldn't... do the rounds
你... -我怎么了?
I mean, you kinda... -Well, what?
你怯场了 那…
.shrank into yourself, I mean, that.
就因为 我他妈 在父亲的葬礼上 哭了一会吗
What? 'Cause I, like, fuckin'... I cried a little at my father's funeral?
就表示 我一辈子就毁了吗?
That means I'm totally fucked forever?
感觉不太对啊
That doesn't seem right
那当然不代表你是坏人
It absolutely does not make you a bad person.
你没有在葬礼上图谋不轨
Like, maybe it makes you a good person
代表你是好人
that you weren't snaking at the funeral.
也许你人格健全
Like, maybe... maybe you're well-adjusted
而我 是商界的变♥态♥
and I'm a business psycho
我也不知道 这是…
I don't know, man. It... like..
这是一份很可怕的工作 显然会让你很煎熬
It's... it's a fuckin' horrible job that clearly kills you
所以 我…
So I'm just.
说真的 我只是想带大家往前走
Honestly, I'm just trying to guide us through the years
找到真♥相♥
to some truth here, man.
太好了 好老套
Great. Yeah. Cheesy.
我是说真的
I'm serious
是啊 你是真的好老套
Yeah. A serious fuckin' cheeseball is what you are.
他只是说不出口
He just can't say it.
他也不想 但是说不出口
He doesn't want it, but he can't say it
那我呢
And me?
我爱你 小西 我真的很爱你
I love you, Shiv. I fucking love you
但 我们不能进去说
But we simply cannot walk in there
要阻止跟他的交易
and say we're blocking his offe
说我们对未来有美好的愿景
and we have this compelling vision
领导人是你
and say that leading it is you
而你 昨天还在帮马特森
when yesterday, you were singing his song
我们不能这样做
We simply can't.
我们也不能说是罗曼
And we can't say it's Roman
因为他没有分量 看起来很可怜
because he lacks heft and he looks pathetic
而且可能崩溃 所以
and he might flop, so.
我当然希望是我
Obviously, I want it to be me.
但我真心觉得
But I genuinely think anyone would say
任何 立场客观的人 都会说
anyone objectively would say
洛杉矶 我的简历 我的经验
LA, my profile, experience
职位 意图 公开宣言...
position, desire, public pronouncements.
非我莫属
it's me.
如果想为我们留下这家公♥司♥
If we wanna hold on to this company, for us
为我的小孩 你的小孩…
for my kids, for yours.
非我莫属
it's me.
嘿 罗曼 -怎样
Hey, Rome. -Yeah.
你猜 肯德尔觉得应该选谁
Guess who Kendall thinks it should be.
你一定会大吃一惊的
It's gonna blow your fuckin' mind
好的... -我们可以找出一个很酷的架构
Okay..."-We can find a cool structure.
像封邑或王国
Right? Like fiefdoms, kingdoms
如果反将那个维京人一军 这可是很大的成就
We pull off a reverse Viking, guys? Like, it's fuckin' huge.
小西 真的 泛美网科和新闻部都给你
Shiv, seriously, take ATN, take all of news
你去拯救世界
save the world.
罗曼 社群媒体归你
Rome, social media
再恶整一通 一定会很好玩
fuck it all up again, it'll be fun.
我们不是真的要下水吧 因为 你知道...
We aren't actually going in, right? 'Cause, you know.
这里没有坏鲨鱼 它们都在北大西洋
There's no bad sharks in Bim, baby. They're North Atlantic
它们可以往返两地
Well, they could commute
如果你不知道 所有的海洋
All the seas, in case you didn't know this
都是相通的
are connected
对于想吃我的动物来说 海洋就是水底地铁
It's like a huge water subway for things that wanna eat me.
来 我们下水 来啦
Come on, let's do it. Come on
我们也要?
Should we?
对 -好吧
Yeah. -Okay.
可以等我们一分钟吗
Can you give us a minute?
也许
Maybe.
所以呢
So?
我们可以不管了 脱身
We could fuck it. Get out
卖♥♥给马特森 让...
Sell to Matsson, let..
劳伦斯或其他商学院毕业生
Lawrence or some other business-school dry cleaner
坐上王座
sit in the throne
关门大吉 拱手让人
Shut up shop and give away the keys
不过 不能是他
It can't be him, though
也绝对不能是你
But it really can't be you
好吧 我恨他 但是很怕你
Well, okay, I hate him, but I fear you
他会让人无法忍♥受 你会是一场大灾难
He would be unbearable, and you would be a disaster.
他会...
He'd be...
一定会很可怕 真的
It will be terrible. It will
但 很不幸的 我还是勉强可以接受
But... I don't know. I can sort of, unfortunately, see it
不过 你嘛…
Whereas you..
马特森很重视我
Matsson took me seriously
或是他把你当傻子耍
Or he played you like a big fiddle
当成 一个大腹便便的傻子
Like a pregnant cello
抱歉
Sorry.
你觉得 爸会想让谁接♥班♥?
Who do you think Dad actually wanted to give it to?
我觉得 爸爸除了往前冲之外
I don't think Dad gave a fuck about anything
什么都不在乎
more than putting one foot in front of the other.
对 我认为 他不想让我们任何一个人接♥班♥
Yeah, I don't think he wanted to give it to any of us
是啊 -我不知道
Yeah. -I don't know.
我们可以让给他
We could give it to him.
对 也许我们该这么做
Yeah. We probably should
除非... -除非什么
Unless... -Unless?
除非我们杀了他 -好的 杀了他
Unless we kill him. -Okay. Kill him
是的 -我喜欢
Yeah. -I like that.
有意思 怎么杀
That's intriguing. How'd we do it?
胡闹过了头
Well, just a bit of horseplay gone wrong
打他的头 用椰子敲他的脑袋
Just a biff to the head then a bonk on the noggin with a coconut
等他全身瘫软 一报还一报
Wait 'til he goes limp. What goes around comes around?
对 杀了他 我们就能去睡觉了
Yeah, and if we kill him, we get to go to bed.
我好累
I'm tired.
但 如果没成功 他会很烦
He'd be so annoying if it went wrong
我是说 没杀成
The murdering? Like..
你们刚刚是不是想杀我?
"Did you just try to murder me?
这实在不是你们该做的事
Dude, that is so not actually what you meant to do
而且 这样也不好
and it is not a good thing to do."
你们刚刚杀了我 真的很差劲
"You guys actually just murdered me. You guys are the worst
你们好大的胆子
How dare you?"
所以 要吗 -对 对
Shall we? -Yeah, yeah
嘿 我们想杀你
Hey. So, we were thinking of murdering you
别告诉他啊
Well, don't tell him
但是 准备功夫太多了
But you know, it's too much prep
行政作业太麻烦
Too much murder admin
我最讨厌行政作业
No stomach for the admin.
所以.... -好的
So... -Okay
我们封你为王
We anoint you
弄臣的权杖给你
You get the bauble.
恭喜
Congratulations
权杖有鬼 被谊咒了 而且诸事不吉
It's haunted and cursed and nothing will ever go right
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