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知道吗 我都不用看
You know what? I am not even gonna look at that.
告诉我在哪里签字就行了
Just show me where to sign.
汤姆 你要看一下的
Tom, you have to look at it.
不 听着 说实话 亲爱的 我家境一般
No, listen, honestly, honey, I'm not from money,
你出身优渥 我不想看
you're from money-- I don't wanna look at it.
我就服从就好了
Just-- I hereby comply.
我不想让你服从啊
I don't want you to comply.
这不是一段健康的感情的基础
That is not the basis for a healthy relationship.
好吧好吧
Fine. Fine.
作为我爱你的表示
As a gesture of my love to you,
我会让我的律师看一下 好吧
I will have my lawyer look at it. OK?
但跟你说
But just so you know,
我脑子里其实已经签完了
in my head, I've already signed it.
好
OK.
怎么样
How's it goin'?
我听说你父亲好多了
I hear your father's much better.
是
Yup. Yup.
很好
So great.
跟你说一句啊 我们下层的员工
Just to say, though, down in the pig sty,
都很喜欢你的点子呢
we're all huge fans of your stuff.
很有新意
Innovation.
谢谢
Thank you.
比如 比如什么
Like, uh, like what?
一切啊 数据存储
Oh, everything. Data storage.
我认识的码农们都震惊了
The digital guys I know were all popping.
还有啊 虽然感觉没什么大不了 但那个早餐谷物那个东西
Not to sound cheap, but the whole breakfast cereals thing?
对啊 不用伯特伦牛奶什锦早餐 简直疯狂
Yeah, the Bertram muesli was off the hook. That shit was crazy.
这个你也有参与吧
Were you involved in that?
是的
Yes.
我有参与
Yes, I was.
我见了一个人 西尔维斯特
So, I met the guy. Sylvester.
西尔维斯特
Sylvester?
你是说了个假名吗
Did you use a fake name?
我觉得西尔维斯特是他的真名
Uh, I think Sylvester's his real name.
谁会叫西尔维斯特这种名字啊
Who's called Sylvester?
他就 我们付他钱 他很普通 途径也合法
He's just, we pay him, he's normal, he's legit,
他是备过案的 他说很容易
he's on the record-- he says it's easy.
他会帮我们解决掉游轮事件
He's gonna shred this cruise problem away.
我还是很担心
OK. Well, I'm worried.
你知道伊朗革命过后
Did you know that after the Iranian revolution,
那些学生 他们重录了
the students, they taped back together
美国大使♥馆♥已经被粉碎的文件吗
the shredded documents from the US embassy?
你知道吗
Did you know about that?
他问了很多深层电子清理的东西
Uh, he asked a lot about the digital deep clean,
我说这样很好 邮件 服务器
and I said that was good, emails and servers,
大体上来弄 不涉及到具体
nice and general, not specific.
但是当然我们也要抹掉细节的东西
But, um, of course we'd wiped the specifics.
好的 所以这部分怎么操作
Great. So how does this part work?
- 我们粉碎 - 嗯
- OK. We shred... - Yeah?
然后在我们不经意的时候会来一些人
...then some guys come in when we're quiet,
他建议是马上来 明天 感恩节
he suggests right away, tomorrow, Thanksgiving,
然后他们会处理掉所有不想要的材料
and, uh... they'll dispose of the unwanted materials.
我们只需要有个人
We just need someone to shred
粉碎并且把材料从文件储藏器里调出来
and to sign out the materials from the document depository,
而这个名字呢 这个名字如果说一旦出了问题
and that name could-- that's a name that could, uh,
可能就会受到牵连
draw some heat were things to go... bad.
这样啊 那我不行
Well, uh, I can't do it,
显然因为感恩节嘛
obviously, Thanksgiving.
你行不行
Um, could you?
理论上来说是可以的
I mean, I could,
只不过 就是 你懂得
it's just, it's, uh, you know,
我手上的任务有点
the task in hand is a little...
是 对 我理解
No, sure. Absolutely.
你需要一个你可以信任的人
You need someone you can trust,
但是不是一个能被牺牲的人
but who is... not expendable--
- 这就太残忍♥了 - 当然
- That would be horrible. - Oh, no.
我理解
Sure. I get it.
当然 当然
Totally. Totally.
又不是我们要置谁于不顾 让他背锅
Yeah, it's not as if we'd be throwing someone under a bus.
这是提供一个机会 大放异彩的机会
It's giving someone an opportunity to shine.
- 对吧 - 好的
- Yeah? - Great.
恩
Yeah.
- 哥们 干嘛呢 - 嘿 汤姆
- Hey, buddy! What's up? - Hey, Tom.
你干嘛呢 什么时候回办公室啊
What's goin' on? Am I gonna see you in the office anytime soon?
不会很快 我其实正开车呢
Uh, not that soon, I'm actually driving--
是吗 你大概多久能到啊
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What's your ETA?
大概12个小时吧 我在加拿大呢
Uh, about 12 hours? I'm-- I'm in Canada.
你说什么
Excuse me?
加拿大
Canada?
有医疗保险 很无聊的那个加拿大吗
Canada with the healthcare and the ennui?
为啥啊 小屌♥人
Why is that, cock-sock?
我送我爷爷过去过感恩节
Um, I'm driving my grandpa down for Thanksgiving.
得了吧 格雷格 去你爷爷他大爷
Oh, Greg, fuck your grandpa.
我开着免提呢 汤姆
You're on speakerphone, Tom!
你为什么要开免提 格雷格
Well, I shouldn't be, Greg.
我知道 但我在开车 我没法拿着手♥机♥
I know-- I-- But I'm driving, so I can't, like--
所以就开免提了 现在还是免提
So you are. You're still on it.
好吧 格雷格 赶紧的吧
OK, Greg, so, um, hurry up,
我有个小任务要交给你
'cause I got a little job for you, and, uh,
我现在说话很友好了 因为你开着免提呢
yeah, I'm being nice, 'cause I'm on speakerphone,
但是如果没开免提的话 你知道我会怎么说的吧
but if I wasn't on speakerphone I'd be being, shall we say, somewhat less agreeable?
- 嗯嗯 - 好吧
- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah?
好的 再见
All right. See ya.
所以 还行吧
So, yeah-- It's good.
我们聊天都这样
It's rough and tumble.
你知道吧 他
You know? He's, uh,
我也叫他大屌♥哥的
I call him a dickie, too.
他很孤独的 而且内心很恐惧 我感觉
He's pretty lonely, and-- and afraid. I guess.
要整个起来
Come all the way up.
- 去你妈 - 整个抬起来
- Fuck you. - Come all the way up.
快点 起来 起来
Let's go, come on! Up!
不要
Ah, no! No--
我的天 什么他妈毛病啊
Oh, my God, what the fuck!
我记得我已经说的很清楚了
I feel like I'm being pretty fuckin' clear
每隔一天我需要一点自己的空间
I need a modicum of space every 24 hours.
是你哥哥 他坚持要进来
It's your brother. He absolutely insisted--
是真的吗 倒咖啡那件事
Is it true? About the coffee?
什么 爸爸吗
Uh, what, Dad?
麻烦你出去一下好吗
Can you give us a minute?
对的 他就一直倒 撒的到处都是
Yeah, sure, he kept pouring, and it just went everywhere.
- 就好像没看见一样 - 天 他哪里不对
- Like he didn't even see. - Jesus. He's not right.
地方台 地方新闻
Local TV. Local news.
这个新闻怎么样
Here's a news story for you:
本地一位老人还不晓得自己已经被谷歌♥玩的团团转了
Elderly local man doesn't realize he's getting butt-fucked by Google.
我不想再回上海了 我在他生病的时候撑起了公♥司♥
I am not going back to Shanghai. I saved the company when he was sick.
你听到他是怎么跟我说话的了吗
Did you hear the way he talked to me?
我在工作室的时候他一直都是这种语气
That was his tone the entire time I was at the studio.
我知道 哥们 特敷衍
Oh, dude, I know. So patronizing.
谁知道印度尼西亚有多少人啊
Who knows how many people live in Indonesia?
谁他妈在乎 去他妈的印度尼西亚
Who actually gives a shit? Fuck Indonesia.
感觉他这是一种病
Sounds like a medical condition.
最终我们之间会有一个人接管
One of us eventually takes over,
到时候就不剩什么可以接管的了
there's gonna be nothing left.
就好像 你屁♥股♥里住了多少人啊
Like, how many people live in your ass?
- 他妈的臭傻♥逼♥ - 就好像公♥司♥会被一个
- Rip Van Fucking Asshole. - It's like the firm's being run
强迫症囤积狂来管理
by a compulsive hoarder.
就好像在一幢老旧丑陋吓人的房♥子里
It's this big old, ugly, spooky house,
他邋邋遢遢的坐在房♥子中♥央♥
and he's all caked up in the middle
身上盖着一堆发霉的报纸
covered in fucking moldy newspapers
上面都是各种本地新闻
with the local news blaring,
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