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Modern Family S11E01
Part 4
Nov. 23, 2019, 10:43 a.m.
Well, you didn't.
书里说85%用奶嘴的宝宝
The book says 85% of pacifier users
长大后会变成猫奴
grow up to be cat people.
真不敢相信我会这么说 你真的不能再看书了
I can't believe I'm saying this, but you need to stop reading.
然后呢
And do what?
然后 靠我的母性本能吗
Do what? Rely on my instincts?
我没有本能 这就是问题
I don't have any. That is the problem!
宝贝 每个人都有本能
Honey, everybody has instincts.
是吗 我有吗
Oh, do I?
我一直在等着本能自己发动
Because I keep waiting for them to kick in,
但它没有
and they haven't.
我觉得它永远也不会发动了
And I don't think that they ever will.
我只是 可能我就是不应该成为一个妈妈
I just -- Maybe I'm just not meant to be a mom.
宝贝 你当然可以成为一个妈妈
Sweetie, of course you're meant to be a mom.
听着 感觉到不知所措很正常 真的
Listen, it is normal to feel overwhelmed. Really.
最好的父母都是担心自己做得
It -- The best parents are the ones who worry
不够好的父母
they're doing it wrong.
爱人也一样
Same goes for lovers.
等等 宝宝们还在沙发上吗
Wait, are the babies still on the couch?
他们肯定没事啦
Oh, I'm sure they're fine.
门锁住了 宝宝们这个时候会滚来滚去了
It's locked. Babies start rolling over at this age.
你有钥匙吗
Oh. Do you have a key?
放里面了 不过我很久以前在外面藏了一把
Uh, it's inside, but I hid one out here years ago.
放在
It's in, um...
一块假的石头里
It's in a fake rock.
找不到了
Can't -- Can't find it.
那块石头太真了
It's -- It's too realistic.
我为什么要加钱买♥♥逼真的好货
Why did I spring for the good one?
我必须进去
I have to get in there.
海莉 海莉 你要干什么
Haley! Haley, what are you doing?!
宝贝 宝贝 小心
Honey. Honey, be careful.
那个屋顶每爬必摔啊
It's impossible not to fall off of that roof!
茵素 乔治 妈妈来了
Poppy! George! Mommy's coming!
我觉得这看上去很母性本能
Those sure look like mom instincts to me!
你是天生的好妈妈
You're a natural!
现在知道她以前是怎么在宵禁后溜进来的了
Now we know how she used to sneak in after curfew.
也知道今年该让谁来挂圣诞彩灯了
And who's hanging the Christmas lights this year.
-没错了 -宝宝醒了
- Yeah. - Babies are up.
没人去管管吗
Somebody gonna take care of that?
当你躺在斯黛拉的狗床上
When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella,
你会感到被爱环抱
you know you're loved.
有好一点吗
Was that any better?
怎么说呢 怎么说呢
Where to begin, where to begin...
你见过狗 对吧
You've met a dog, right?
是啊
Yes.
而且我知道你以前被爱环抱过
And I know you've felt loved before.
那把这两种思路合在一起 这一次尽量做好
So let's link those two ideas and try to get it this time.
我能先喝点水吗
Can I get some water first?
可以吧
I suppose.
你应该让她从狗盆里喝水
You should make her drink it out of a dog bowl.
那有点过分了 但你说得对
That seems over-the-line, but you were right.
这么做确实有用
This is working.
你好 艾丽克斯 我现在有点忙
Hey, Alex. Kinda in the middle of something.
好吧 就是想告诉你这边的事情
Okay. It's just that things are spiraling
有点不受控制
a little bit down here.
这个叫英格瓦的人 一直送我自己杀掉的东西
This guy, Yngvar, keeps trying to woo me
来讨我欢心
with things he's killed.
又一条鱼 谢谢
Another fish. Thanks.
那我把它跟之前的放一起
I'll...put it with the others.
我们怎么还停在这一步 时间不等人
We're still at this? Meter's running.
准备 开始
And...action.
当你躺在斯黛拉的狗床上
When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella,
你会感到被爱环抱
you know you're loved.
太棒了
Wow.
把她治到服服帖帖了
You have her right where you want her.
现在过去 给她一点赞美
Now, go in there, give her a little praise,
就能把她钓到你身边
and then reel her in.
这不难
It won't be hard.
这是继有一次即兴表演的观众让她扮
This is her best performance
跟她长得像的名人后 她最好的表演了
since that improv audience suggested "Jackee O."
英格瓦确实人挺好的
Yngvar does seem sweet.
我听说这边的自杀率也开始趋于稳定了
I read the suicide rate here has plateaued.
行了 可以了 结束了 孩子
Okay, that's enough. Wrap it up, kid.
准备回家吧
Time to go home.
太好了 谢谢你
Oh. Thank you.
这边真的不太行
This has not been working out.
我就是需要你的允许才好说出来
I mean, I just needed your permission to admit it
因为我来这里有一部分原因是为了取悦你
because part of me came down here to impress you.
回见啦 外公 爱你
See you soon, Grandpa. Love you.
怎么样
So?
非常棒
That was really good.
真是谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
这都是你的功劳
I mean, it's all you.
我从来没有遇到过如此老练的导演
I've never had a director with such a sure hand.
太有魔力了
It's so electric.
可不是嘛
It is, isn't it?
有没有兴趣去喝一杯啊 褐眼帅哥
What do you say we get a drink, Brown Eyes?
踏破铁鞋无觅处
It was all happening.
我离导演神作就只差一步了
I was on the brink of a directorial masterpiece.
这种作品可是能够让我一飞冲入
This was the kind of thing that could launch me
无薪实习的机会呢
straight into an unpaid internship.
这杯东西可以再稍等一会
Let's put a pin in that drink.
我想再试一遍
I wanna go again.
虽然只再重录了63次 但我成功了
It took 63 more takes, but I got it.
当你躺在斯黛拉的狗床上
When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella,
你会感到被爱环抱
you know you're loved.
你是"纯种"好演员 别表现像个小"杂种"
You're a purebred. Stop acting like a mutt.
再来一次
Again!
当你躺在斯黛拉的狗床上
When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella,
你会感到被爱环抱
you know you're loved.
应该还有隐含着痛苦情绪
There's pain behind this.
那些人类不经你同意就把你给绝育了
They spayed you without your permission!
这是你的身体 凭啥别人做决定 再来
It's your body! Who decided?! Again!
当你躺在斯黛拉的狗床上
When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella,
你会感到被爱环抱
you know you're loved.
-再来一次 -当你躺在斯黛拉的狗床上
- Again! - When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella,
你会感到被爱环抱
you know you're loved.
卡 我们很满意
And cut! We're good in here.
你还有什么想尝试的吗
Anything you wanna try?
"试"也不是跟你试
Not with you!
垃圾 这是我正在看着的东西
Garbage. That's what I'm looking at here.
垃圾人类
Human garbage.
对 你说得对
Yeah, you're right.
就跟我妈说的一样 我就是个渣滓
It's just like my mom says -- I'm nothin'.
我要加入帮派 去弄个脸部刺青
I'm gonna join a gang, get a face tattoo.
我要卖♥♥头发去买♥♥毒品
I'm gonna sell my hair for nose drugs.
好了好了 停 我听不下去了
No, okay, stop! I-I can't take it anymore.
对不起 是我把雕像丢掉的
I'm sorry. I threw away the statue.
它... 它真的很土嘛
It was -- It was just so tacky.
各位 拜托你们别自暴自弃好吗
You guys, please don't give up on yourselves, okay?
你们还有大好未来在等着你们
You have very bright futures.
是啊 你说得对
Yeah, you're right.
当然有啊 在戏剧界
They sure do... in theater.
因为他们是学校的戏剧俱乐部
Because this is the theater group from school,
引人入胜剧团
The Emotivations!
棒 表现太棒了
Bravo! Brava!
我那天就在垃圾桶里发现了
I found this in the trash the other day.
我知道你肯定不会承认是你丢的
I knew you put it there and wouldn't admit it.
所以我带了一群才华洋溢的悲剧演员回家
So I brought some very talented young thespians over
来演绎迷途青年
to portray at-risk youth.
他抓到你啦 姐妹
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