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Modern Family S11E15

Part 3 April 14, 2020, 9:06 a.m.

- Sellout! - I don't know!
再说你怎么会在这里
And what are you doing here?
我来为诺普招人啊
Well, I'm recruiting for NERP.
我说过我需要一个搞科学的人
I told you I need a science-y person.
你不能自己进来闲逛你得有入场证
You can't just saunter in here. You have to be approved.
年轻人我看你不修边幅你一定很聪明
Oh. Hey, kid. You don't care what you look lik. You must be smart.
你想去一个有很多辣妹的地方上班吗
Want to work at a place that has a lot of hot girls?
别闹了
Stop it!
你还能把情况弄得更糟吗
Could you make this horrible situation any worse?
抵♥制♥希洛赶紧滚吧
Hell no, Helo! It's time you go!
-那不是我♥干♥的 -抵♥制♥希洛赶紧滚吧
- I didn't do that. - Hell no, Helo, it's time you go!
我以前从没见过这样成群的书呆
I've never seen nerds swarm like this before!
我们通常不是群聚型的生物
We're not typically a clustering people.
天啊是阿尔文
Oh, my God. It's Arvin.
糟了我发邮件告诉他我会来
Oh, no. I emailed him I'd be here.
我等下要尴尬死了
Oh, this is gonna be so awkward for me!
我们最后一次见面时我伤透了他的心
The last time I saw him, I broke his heart.
你还尴尬
Awkward for you?
这些人都恨我恨到不惜彼此眼神交会了
These people hate me so much, they're making eye contact!
艾丽克丝你好啊
Alex? Hi!
那些人在干嘛
What's all the com--
海莉
Haley.
阿尔文你好
Arvin. Hi.
我不知道你会在这
I didn't know you'd be here.
这句话很难说出口
This isn't going to be easy to say.
我结婚了生了双胞胎
I got married, and I have twins.
是的我知道
I know. Yes.
那是迪兰节假日新闻邮件的头条
It was the lead story in Dylan's holiday newsletter.
你确定你没偷偷跟进我的现状吗
You sure you haven't been stalking a little?
没有有新闻邮件就行了
No. No, that's why.
艾丽克斯这是针对你的吗
Alex, is this directed at you?
是的没错
Yes. Yes, it is.
他们太刻薄了
And they are so mean!
抵♥制♥希洛
Hell no, Helo!
打断一下
Uh, excuse me.
你们都知道我人很好对吧
Uh, you-you all know I'm a cool guy, right?
你们叫我阿尔文我也不介意
I'm chill with you calling me Arvin.
有一次我们还去室外上课
We had class outside that one time.
大家先暂停一分钟好吗
Will you just give us a minute?
我保证她会全身心感受到我的愤怒
I assure you, she will feel the full effects of my rage.
-你最近怎么样 -不怎么样
- So, how have you been? - Not so great.
他们不喜欢你的老板吗
They're not fans of your employer?
这太不公平了
Which is so unfair!
我正在做非常前沿的研究
I'm doing very advanced research
很可能会产生深远的影响
that could have far-reaching implications.
是啊我毫不意外
Yeah. Of course you are.
等一下
One sec.
你晚上怎么睡得着
How do you sleep at night?!
你也和他们一样吗
Okay, so, you, too?
当然不是
No, of course not.
我不是来评判你或你的老板
I am not here to judge you or your boss --
撒旦
Satan!
总之我只是想路过打个招呼
Anyway, I just thoht I'd drop by and say a quick hello.
海莉很高兴见到你
Haley, lovely to see you.
别迷恋我了向前看吧
You have to move on.
艾丽克斯祝你一切都好那好
Alex, I wish you nothing but the best. Okay.
好了大伙带点感情
Right, guys. Now with feeling.
抵♥制♥希洛赶紧滚吧
Hell no, Helo! It's time you go!
抵♥制♥希洛赶紧滚吧
Hell no, Helo! It's time you go!
莉莉的话真的让我们很在意
What Lily said really got to us.
或许我们这年纪确实不该要宝宝了
Maybe we are too old to have a new baby.
昨天我发现自己耳朵上长毛了
Yesterday, I found hairs on my ears
还对着本地新闻大骂
and I yelled at the local news.
我把宋飞说成了"宋灰"
And I called Seinfeld "Steinfeld."
不过话说回来
You know, but on the other hand,
我们这年纪的男人要孩子也挺常见的
there are a lot of men our age having babies.
是的不过他们都有第二任娇妻和保姆
Yes, but-but they have second wives and nannies --
保姆和娇妻通常是一个人
who are often the same person.
我们需要跟一个
We just needed to talk to a-a parent
上年纪后要宝宝的家长聊聊
that had a baby when they were old.
你们肯定搞错了因为我生乔时才35
You must be mistaken, because I had Joe when I was 35.
不我记得你当时已经...
No, I remember. You had just turned --
她不会承认的
She's not gonna budge.
就跟我们直说吧有多难
Okay, j-just tell us, how hard is it?
会不会经常没有觉睡
Well, are there nights where you don't sleep
恨不得杀了自己
and you want to kill yourself?
当然会
Of course.
每次抱起放下宝宝时
Are there shooting pains in your back
后背会不会疼得要死
from picking the baby and putting him down?
每次都会
Constantly.
好吧有转折[臀部]吗
Okay, well, is there a but?
还算能看跟以前没法比
It's hanging in there, but it's not the same.
我知道你们担心自己太老了
Look, I know that you guys worry that you're too old
反应太慢了照顾不好宝宝
or too slow to have a baby at this age.
但你猜怎么着
But guess what.
你们可以
You can!
-那是什么鬼 -一个娃娃
- What the hell was that? - A doll.
它本该证明你们准备好了要宝宝
It was supposed to prove that you guys were ready to have a baby,
但假如这是真的宝宝你们已经摔死它了
but if this was a real one, you would have killed it.
难道不是该怪你乱扔宝宝吗
Well, wouldn't it be your fault for throwing it?
你就饶了我吧我只是在实验新招
Give me a break. I was trying something.
我正在想办法卖♥♥这间房♥
I'm in the middle of selling a house.
对了顺带一提房♥子很漂亮
Oh, yeah, it's very cute, by the way.
有几间卧室
How many bedrooms is it?
三间带一个小屋
Three and a den.
比我们家卧室多
Oh, that's one more than we have.
米奇尔这房♥子真不错
Mitchell, this house, huh?
小卡我根本不能开始考虑买♥♥♥房♥♥
Cam, I can't even begin to think about a house
我们甚至还没决定好
when we haven't even made a decision about whether or not
-要不要领养 -或许这是老天的暗示
- we're going to -- - But maybe it's a sign.
新工作泡汤了新宝宝要来了
You know, the new job goes away, a baby comes along,
突然间我们身处这幢迷人的
and all of a sudden, we're standing in a charming
-三卧房♥子 -还有三间半洗手间
- three-bedroom -- - Three and a half bath.
老天爷只要我们换回开架护肤霜
Which, holy cow, we could afford if we just switch back
-我们就买♥♥得起 -不行
- to grocery store face cream. - u202dNo.
这里可是好学区房♥
And it's in a great school district.
你知道吗她说得没错
You know what? She's right about that.
他们有全职护士
They have a full-time nurse.
我们只有一盒创可贴和一罐姜汁汽水
We have a Band-Aid jar and a can of ginger ale.
我们手上的难题已经够多了
Okay, we already have too much on our plate.
我们不能买♥♥这幢房♥
We're not buying this house!
地下室还有唱K室
Oh, and in the basement, they have a karaoke room
专为那些想要模仿天后
for people that want to impersonate divas
又不想被老爸看到的人准备
without their fathers seeing them.
我想看看也无妨
Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to look.
我说不好我真的看起来像在办公室吗
I don't know, guys. Does it really look like I'm in my office?
《大白鲨》也不是真鲨鱼
Jaws wasn't a real shark,
还是吓得我好几个月不敢坐马桶
but I still wouldn't sit on a toilet seat for months.
这角度怎么样妈
u202dHow's this angle, Mom?
应该可以
Um, uh, fine, I guess.
我的脸颊好痒我脸上有东西吗
My cheek is itching! Is there something on my face?
你怎么变成外星人了你这是怎么了
Admiral Ackbar, what the hell happened to you?
肯定是你的破蘑菇害的
I'll bet it was your stupid mushrooms!
我为什么要尝试新事物
Why do I try new things?
我不会换掉我的老爹牛仔裤
I'm sticking to my Brett Favre jeans!
老天是她是她
Oh, God! That's her! That's her!
所有人安静
Everybody quiet!
等等我得上去喂宝宝
Wait, I have to get up there with the babies --
你坐下
Sit!
贝克曼女士
Hi, Ms. Beckman.
非常感谢你给我这次...