摩登家庭
Modern Family S11E16
Part 2
April 14, 2020, 9:06 a.m.
Calm down.
蛇只会把蛋都产在一个黑暗的地方
Snakes lay all their eggs in one dark place.
我已经全拿出来了 我这就送到宠物店去
I've got them all here. I'm gonna run them by the pet store.
天 其中一个在动吗 快拿走
Oh, my God. Is one of them moving? Get them out of here.
真是太恶心了 恶心 恶心 恶心
They're so gross. Gross, gross, gross, gross.
嘿 你这是要跑到哪儿去啊 小家伙
Hey, where you running off to, little buddy?
你又想跑到哪儿去啊 大家伙
And where are you running off to, big buddy?
你好啊 陌生人
Hey, stranger!
又要出门吗 我最近几乎都见不着你
Going out again? I barely see you these days.
我也想跟你一起玩 杰
I'd love to hang out, Jay,
但我要参加红酒俱乐部的聚会
but I've got a wine club meeting.
你喜欢红酒吗 我超爱红酒的
What, are you into wine? I love wine!
-好吧 回头见 -等等
- Okay. See ya. - Wait a minute!
我等会儿就开瓶红酒
I'm gonna open a bottle later on.
不如你带一瓶回来 我们一起品品酒
Why don't you bring one and we'll have a little tasting?
这主意还不赖
I guess I wouldn't mind that.
我回来时去趟商店
I'll stop by the store on my way back.
既然都去了 顺便发个慈悲帮我买♥♥瓶汽水吧
While you're there, would you be a prince and pick me up a soda?
我得跟功课奋战
I've got homework.
你哪来的五十大钞
Where'd you get a fifty?
不劳你费心
Don't worry about it.
欢迎来到你们的新家
Welcome to your new house!
我不记得这房♥间这么冷冰冰没人味啊
I don't remember this room feeling so stark and cold.
幸好这是智能房♥子
Luckily this is a smart house.
亚当 暖光模式
Adam, warm light mode.
已启动
Initiating.
不 不好
Oh, no... no!
不 这样只让窗边的霉菌更显眼了
No, that just brings out the molding around the windows.
这里是不是有点像养老院啊
I... Does it feel like we're in a nursing home?
亚当 派对模式
Adam, party mode!
已启动
Initiating.
天啊 不 这更糟了
Oh, God. No! No, that's... that's even worse.
我... 抱歉
I'm... I'm sorry, I just...
我就是觉得自己好像没来过一样
I don't feel like I've ever been in this house before.
亚当 我警告你[我对天发誓]
Adam, I swear to God!
已启动
Initiating.
我们是不是犯了个大错
Did we just make a huge mistake?
米奇尔 你知道你讨厌改变啊
Mitchell, you know you hate change.
还记得你剃光胡子那次吗
Remember when you shaved your beard?
你对着镜子尖叫 "老天 你丑绝人寰"
You screamed in the mirror, "Oh, my God, you look hideous!"
那是你好不好
That was you.
你今天一整天都抱怨个不停
I mean, you have been a crab all day long.
你怎么知道的 你都没跟我们在一起
How do you know? You haven't even been around us!
我照你尿性猜的
I took a crazy guess.
听着 这是买♥♥家的懊悔情绪
Look, this is buyer's remorse.
我从我的导师菲尔·邓菲那学到的
I learned that from my mentor, Phil Dunphy,
我知道如何能解决
and I know how to fix it.
跟我来 如果你还想活...
Come with me if you want to live...
在这栋房♥子里 并且不想当个扫兴鬼
in this house... and not be a bummer to everyone.
莉莉 你得帮我开始拆箱了
Lily, you need to help me start unpacking.
我们需要继续谋划二宝的盛大揭示
We need to work on my baby reveal.
亚当 思考模式
Adam, thinking mode.
已启动
Initiating.
我知道这听起来很疯 但真有用的
I know it sounds crazy, but it works.
为了接受新房♥子
In order to accept the new house,
你必须跟原来的家好好告别
you have to properly say goodbye to this place.
我才不要对着一栋房♥子说话呢
Okay, I'm not talking to a house. Okay?
还有 搬家工人为什么坐在外面不干活
And... And why are the movers just sitting out there?
别担心 我会搞定他们
Don't worry about them. I'll handle them.
我以前也当过搬家工人
I used to be a mover.
我帮前男友偷他兄弟的冰箱时
I kind of fell into it when I helped an ex-boyfriend
自然而然就进入了这一行
steal his brother's refrigerator.
等等 所以你当过出租车司机 美发师
Okay, wait, so you've been a cab driver, a hairdresser,
代言模特 还当过搬家工人
a spokesmodel, and a mover.
你的人生是真实的吗
I-Is your life real?
世上有什么是真实的吗
Is anything real?
我当哲学教授时
That was a question that I asked myself
时常问自己这个问题
when I was a philosophy professor.
好了 跟这房♥子道别吧
Now, say goodbye to the house.
告诉它它对你的意义
Tell it how much it meant to you.
对彼此坦诚说出真心话 就像两个
Be honest with each other, like two lovers
知道终于要分道扬镳的爱人一样
that know that the time has come when they must part ways.
好吧 通常我就只是
Okay, well, usually, I would just
把我得健身房♥会员卡从他钥匙扣上摘下来
take my gym membership off his keychain
然后把他介绍给我妈认识
and then introduce him to my mother.
你好 小房♥
Hey, house.
你们这些懒鬼
Hey, you humps!
我们是按小时付你们费的
We're paying you by the hour!
我们正休息喝咖啡 女士
We're on a coffee break, lady.
别给我来这套
Oh, don't give me that.
我以前也是干这行的
I used to do your job.
就是你们这种态度 让大家讨厌搬家工人
And this attitude, this is why people hate movers.
以及偷东西的恶习
That and all the stealing.
太过分了 你以为你能做得更好吗
Whoa! You think you can do better?
我也不想戳破你的"泡泡"膜
I hate to burst your bubble wrap,
但老娘知道我能
but I know I can.
其实我们今天还预约了另一家 这样正好了
We actually double booked today, so this works out.
-你自己搬吧 -不不不 等等
- Have at it. - Oh, no, no, no, no! Ay, wait!
回来啊 懒鬼
Come back, humps!
你怎么在摧残猫
What are you doing with the cat?
别担心嘛 到那天
Okay, don't worry. On the day,
我会用宝宝换掉拉里的
I will replace Larry with the baby.
等全家都围着桌子坐好
Once the family is all seated around the table,
我就解开安全绳
I'll undo the security rope
然后让宝宝在桌子上方飘过
and then let the baby hover above the table
让所有家人为之惊叹
for all the family to marvel at.
等等 电♥话♥响了
Wait. Phone's ringing.
喂
Hello?
是我
Yes, speaking.
什么
What?
不
No!
老公 你刚才是喝错了装染料的杯子吗
Oh, honey, did you just take a sip from the paintbrush water?
如果喝错了我会知道的啦 克莱尔
I think I'd know if I did, Claire.
这一定就是祖父母坐的老人桌吧
Oh! This must be the grandparents' table!
-话不能这么说 -不 我觉得不是
- I wouldn't say that. - No, I d... I don't think...
这两位是宝宝们的外祖父母 阿嬷阿公
These are the kids' grandparents, Gamma and Grampy.
很高兴认识你们呀
Oh, nice to meet you.
我是姥姥 这是姥爷
I'm Meemaw. This is Bobo.
你们见过嬷嬷和爷爷了吗
Have you met GimGim and Mimsy?
不如你们坐我们的位子吧
Oh, you know what? Why don't you take our seats?
我们好像坐错桌子了
I think we're at the wrong table.
我的背
Oh! My back!
我也常闪到腰
Oh, it happens to me all the time.
我来告诉你这种老人鞋的牌子名
I'm gonna get you the name of these shoes.
道格 我已经替你做过饭
Doug, I have cooked for you,
帮你喷过美黑喷雾
spray tanned you,
还帮你代过两次转招牌的班
taken two of your sign spinning shifts.
我还没赎完罪吗
Are we seriously not even yet?
你把这事看得太严重了
I think you're making too big a deal about this.
我只是需要你穿上小丑女的变装服
I just need you to dress up like Harley Quinn
然后给我游戏之夜的赢家做脚底按♥摩♥而已
and give a foot massage to the winner of my game night.
别担心
Don't worry.
赢的的会是我
I'm gonna win.
听着 杰拉德又摔倒了
And get this, Gerald fell again.
这次摔断了手腕
Wrist this time.
那老头体内的钢钉[针]比裁缝含在嘴里的还多
That man's got more pins in him than a tailor's mouth.
他就是不肯学正确的摔倒姿势
He never learned how to fall the right way.
-自尊心太强了 -等等 摔跤还有正确姿势的吗
- Too proud. - Wait, there's a right way to fall?
你不是吧 还搭话
Really? A follow-up?
要抵抗住用手撑地阻止摔势的诱惑
Resist the temptation to break the fall with the hands.
改用屁屁着地
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