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Modern Family S11E07
Part 2
Nov. 23, 2019, 10:44 a.m.
the fire of competition,
和那种成就感
that sense of accomplishment?
不 一点都不
No. No.
当然了 我曾担心过我是那种
I mean, of course, I worried I was the type of person
需要一直忙碌才心安的人 但那就像是毒品
who needed to be busy all the time, but it's like a drug --
经过几周的戒断
after a couple of weeks of withdrawal,
我终于适应什么也不干的生活了
I am finally comfortable doing nothing.
你买♥♥的是什么样的馅饼
Oh, what kind of pie did you get,
南瓜瓜馅 山核桃桃馅 还是甜土豆豆馅的
pun'kin, pee-can, sweet pataytuh?
无面粉巧克力蛋糕
Flourless chocolate cake.
你试试把这说出一股乡村味儿来
Let's see you try and country that up.
我的手♥机♥在口袋里
My phone's in my pocket.
你能帮我拿一下吗 我够不着
Here, would you grab it? I can't get it.
好了
Alright.
-是谁 -乔撒姆发来短♥信♥
- Who is it? - Oh, it's from Jotham.
"我刚听说了 非常遗憾 你还好吗"
"Just heard. I'm so sorry. How are you doing?"
-他在说什么 -我不知道
- What's that about? - I have no idea.
是勒迈克
Oh, L'Michael.
-"我的心与你同在 卡麦小芝士 打给我" -啥
- "Sending all my love, Camembert. Call me." - What?
阿耳特弥斯
Artemis.
"罗纳多告诉我你和米奇尔的事了
"Ronaldo told me about you and Mitchell.
心碎表情 眼泪表情
Broken-heart emoji, tear emoji,
老牌喜剧女星塔米·菲·贝克痛哭表情包"
Tammy Faye Bakker crying Gif."
罗纳多到底跟他说了什么啊
What did Ronaldo tell him?
不知道啊 我刚在这碰见他 他问你在哪
No clue. I-I just saw him here, and he asked where you were,
我就说我们分开去购物...
and I told him that we split up to shop and that --
我的天 他以为我们真的分手了
Oh, my God. He thinks we actually split up.
结果这消息就传遍基圈了
Oh, and it's gone viral.
有两样东西是基佬不肯坐[藏不住]的
Well, there are two things a gay can't sit on --
直男坐的丑塑料休闲椅和猛料大八卦
a plastic patio chair and a juicy bit of gossip.
不过看到我们的朋友这么有爱 也很感动啦
Well, it's nice to see how supportive our friends are being.
是啊 他们真好 第一时间就联♥系♥...
Yeah. It's nice how quickly they reached out to --
你一个人
to you.
我什么都没收到
I got nothing.
这铃♥声♥简直就是在嘲笑我
It's like it's mocking me.
这些短♥信♥肯定是发给我们两个看的啦
I-I'm sure the texts were meant for both of us.
才不是这样的 好吗
That's not how it works, okay?
他们又不是在感谢我们招待的早午餐
They're not thanking us for brunch.
我们可是要离婚了
We're getting a divorce!
为什么没人打给我啊
Why is no one calling me?!
或许因为他们认为你比起我...
Well, maybe because they think you're the --
更坚强 没那么感情用事
the stronger, less emotional one.
真是疯了 我坚强
That's crazy. Just because I'm strong
也不代表我在这种时候就不需要朋友们的关怀啊
doesn't mean I don't need my friends at a time like this!
什么时候
A time like what?
你知道我们不是真的要离婚的吧
Y-You realizing this isn't actually happening, right?
少来
Oh, come on.
如果情况反过来 你肯定会慌得一批
If the shoe was on the other foot, you would be freaking out.
没错 所以现在我才会收到这些短♥信♥啊
Yes -- which is why I'm getting all the texts.
好吧 你看
Okay, well, here.
是身在意大利卡普里岛的斯蒂芬和斯蒂凡
Ohh, from Steven and Stefan in Capri.
回短♥信♥跟他们说 "别特地飞回来 我没事"
Oh. Text back, uh, "Do not fly home. I'm doing okay."
我们难道不是没要离婚吗
I thought this wasn't really happening!
桶滚后接个S形转弯
Barrel roll into an S-turn...
再来一招我自创的"普里契特急转"
and a little thing I call Pritchett-Switch-It.
看起来就是普通的右转啊
That just looks like a right-hand turn.
你这外行当然看不懂门道啦
It would to an amateur.
你简直是艺术家 杰
You're an artist, Jay.
天空就是你的画布
The sky's your canvas.
要不要来玩"穿针引线"
Oh, should we do the hoop?
好主意
Great idea.
冠军 拿着这个走到空地中间
Hey, champ, take this out to the middle of the field
然后高举过头
and hold it up.
太棒了
Awesome!
这次轮到"冠军"是吧
Guess it's "champ's" turn.
真的不用让冠军先看看
Are -- Are we sure champ doesn't need to see
正确玩法是怎样吗
how it's done properly first?
不只是傻站在那就行了
I mean, it's not just standing there.
迪兰 站在那就行
Dylan, just stand there!
好棒
Yes!
这共同经历也太美好了
What a wonderful shared experience!
继续站在那
Now, stay out there.
我们再玩一次
We'll do it again.
这小子有天分 一点都没退缩
Kid's a natural. He didn't even flinch.
到底是勇敢还是纯粹迟钝 我们不会知道了
Bravery or a sluggish brain -- guess we'll never know.
抱歉
Sorry.
我就是有点不爽
Just, uh, I'm -- I'm a little annoyed
迪兰强行加入专属于我们的游戏
that Dylan's horning in on our thing.
其实我手指有点抽筋了
Hey, you know what, my hands are cramping up.
你想接手玩一下吗
You want to take over for me here?
-真的吗 -嗯
- Really? - Yeah.
谢谢
Thanks.
听着 你生迪兰的气 有没有可能
Listen, i-is it possible that you're angry at Dylan
不只是因为今天的事
for something more than today?
今早他的确吃掉了最后一块华夫饼
Well, he did take the last waffle this morning.
我觉得是因为... 他抢走了你第一个孩子
I think it's more about -- he took your firstborn.
我也经历过
Now, I've been there.
有这种想法很正常
It's only natural, you know.
我们当爸爸的 对女儿的保护欲很强 但是...
Us dads, we're very protective of our daughters, but, uh...
事实上 你可能会很有冲动
In fact, you may get a very strong impulse
把飞机直接撞向那家伙
to fly that plane right into the guy,
但别那么做
but don't do it.
什么 我绝不会伤害迪兰的
What? I-I would -- I would never hurt Dylan.
你怎么会觉得我会有那种冲动
Why would you even think I'd have that impulse?
我不知道 我就是觉得...
I don't know. I thought...
你刚才看他的眼神...
you know, the way you were looking at him....
等等
Wait.
你十年前就是那么想的吗
Is that what you were thinking 10 years ago?
这么多年来 我一直以为是我出错了
A-All this time, I thought it was my fault!
我在最后一刻脑袋动了
I-I moved my head at the last second.
其实你是故意撞到我的
But you hit me on purpose!
别说傻话 我只是...
Don't be ridiculous! I just --
只是什么 杰
You just what, Jay?
觉得用飞机撞上我的脸会很好玩是吗
Thought it'd be fun to fly a plane into my face?
什么样的冷血怪物才能对另一个人类做出这种...
What kind of monster does that to another human be--
糟了
Aw, no.
看都伤什么样了
Look at this.
这样应该就可以了
Okay, I think it's good for now.
没错 你需要享受你的私人时间
Oh, yeah, yeah. You need to enjoy your "me" time.
没错
Yeah.
昨天 我有三栋房♥子办了开放参观
Yesterday, I had three open houses.
我从早到晚都忙个不停
I was running around all day,
解决各种问题 创造各种价值
solving problems, creating value...
真是累死我了
Ay, it was exhausting.
我可不怀念这种感觉
Yeah. Don't miss that.
其中一栋房♥子可脏了
Oh, and one of the houses was filthy!
所有窗户都该清洗了
All the windows needed to be washed.
不过我也没脸说人家啦
But I am one to talk.
照我说的去做 我们就能拯救这顿饭
Follow my instructions, and we can save this meal.
-你哪位 -曼尼
- Who are you? - Manny.
错 在这个厨房♥里 你没有名字 搅拌
Wrong. In this kitchen, you don't have a name. Stir.
你这态度挺有意思的
Well, this is a fun energy.
你不会正好有个表妹
Do you happen to have a cousin
特别喜欢穿短裙 又喜怒无常吧
partial to Western skirts and terrifying mood swings?
我们需要他 闭嘴乖乖干活
We need him. Just do it.
这些胡萝卜切得一塌糊涂
Those carrots are a mess.
应该这样切
It's like this.
等等 什么
Wait, what --
老天
Oh, man.
你真的很知道自己想要什么
You really know what you want.
我觉得好有安全感
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