摩登家庭
Modern Family S11E09
Part 2
Feb. 29, 2020, 11:06 a.m.
and we have a storybook Christmas.
要吃个迷你芝士球吗
How about a mini cheeseball?
卢克会跟雪莉分手吗
Is Luke going to break up with Sherry?
歌♥洛莉亚 我很抱歉曼尼这么伤心难过
Gloria, I am sorry that Manny is so upset,
但卢克的感情是真挚的
but Luke's feelings are sincere.
他已经非常自责了
He's already beating himself up.
求你了 别生他的气
Please, don't be mad at him.
你说得对 我不应该生卢克的气
You're right. I shouldn't be mad at Luke.
又不是他把自己养大的
He didn't raise himself.
重新说一次
One more time?
根据你过去的故事
Based on the stories from your past,
你很少会放弃享受肉体的快♥感♥
you've rarely denied yourself the pleasures of the flesh.
好了 暂...
Okay! Time --
-暂停 双方队伍请暂停 -小卡 小卡
- Time out! Time out! - Cam? Cam!
你怎么会有一张去密苏里州的头等舱机票
Why do you have a first-class ticket to Missouri?
先别问这个 你为什么翻我的行李箱
Okay, not now. And why are you digging through my suitcase?
老爸
Hey, Dad?
你就任由你老婆
Are you just gonna stand there
叫我荡♥妇♥吗
while your wife calls me a tramp?
我感觉现在加入讨论风险很大
I feel this is a risky time to weigh in.
同意 不要再吵了
Agreed. No more fighting.
我们都来享用芝士球吧
Let's just all enjoy a cheeseball!
这是我奶奶有百年历史的食谱
u202dIt's my grandma's 100-year-old recipe,
只是我用辣椒取代了可♥卡♥因♥
except I use cayenne pepper instead of cocaine.
不好意思 歌♥洛莉亚
I'm sorry, Gloria.
我不准任何人说我老婆放荡
No one calls my wife loose.
在她风华正茂时 是否享受过
In her day, did she enjoy
一些男人的陪伴 当然
the company of a few men? Sure.
是不是我们每次出门
Is it hard to leave the house
十有八♥九♥会撞见她的前任
without running into one of her ex-lovers?
看我们在哪个城市了
Depends on what city we're in.
你排比完了吗
Do you have an end to this?
她的身体她作主
Her body, her choices,
在这美丽星球上到处留情又如何
all over this beautiful planet!
-能不能说回头等舱机票的事 -是啊
- Can we get back to the first-class ticket thing? - Yeah. Yeah.
你想隐瞒什么呢
What are we hiding?
我不知道这事跟你有毛线关系
Okay, I'm not sure what you have to do with this,
但机票是我爸妈买♥♥给我的
but my parents bought me that ticket.
你♥爸♥妈
Your parents?
他们可是觉得放颗薄荷糖
The people whose idea of fancy
进杜松子酒里就够高档的土老帽
is dropping a Certs into a jar of schnapps?
我告诉你 奶奶的薄荷糖火箭
I'll have you know that Grandma's Mint Rockets
在州长官邸里可是广受欢迎呢
are the cocktail of choice at the governor's mansion.
你太娇生惯养曼尼了
You coddle Manny.
他早该放下雪莉了
He should already be over Sherry.
但我想让男孩子和妈同睡到15岁
But I guess that's what happens when you let a kid
就会有这种结果
sleep in your bed till he's...15.
是13岁啦
13.
我们为什么要讨论曼尼呢
Why are we talking about Manny, anyway,
这明摆着是菲尔的错啊
when this is clearly Phil's fault?
-什么 -什么
- What? - What?!
你显然没有
Well, I mean, you obviously
教卢克绅士守则
didn't teach Luke about the gentlemen's code.
我当然教了
I did so!
永远不要让别人的击掌尴尬停在半空
Never leave a high-five hanging,
如果你拍对方的背 那拥抱多紧都没问题
no hug is too tight if you slap the guy's back --
应该是朋友妻不可戏
It's never steal a broad from a friend,
绝对别让他留胡子
never let him grow a mustache
除非他的职业是有权威的应急人员
unless they're a first responder.
老爸 风大你也不怕闪了舌头
Okay. That is some high horse you're on there, Dad.
竟敢指责菲尔是失职的父亲
Accusing Phil of dropping the parenting ball?
开撕了
Here we go.
说出两个我小时候的朋友
Name two of my friends growing up.
刻薄的那个和体重超标那个
The mean one and the heavy one.
提醒一下各位 曼尼来了
Hey, just a heads-up -- Manny's here.
什么
What?
那表明他有多么勇敢
That shows how brave he is.
不过我们聊点别的话题吧
Eh, but let's talk about something else.
他最不希望的就是我们小题大做
The last thing he wants is to make all this a big deal.
大家好
Hello, all.
原谅我穿了阴沉忧丧气的袍子
Forgive my somber drapings,
但就像契诃夫《海鸥》里的玛莎一样
but like Masha in Chekhov's "The Seagull,"
我正在哀悼我的人生
I am in mourning for my life.
别担心 我不想惹事
And don't worry. I don't want any trouble.
今天我不是主角 家人团聚才是重点
Today is not about me. It's about family.
我们一家人
Our family.
还有我们分享的深刻深厚的爱
And the deep, profound love we share.
老天 这番话俗到爆
Man, that's cheesy.
或许吧 但这是我的真实感受
Maybe, but it's how I feel.
谢谢你曼尼 提醒了我们所有人什么最重要
Thank you, Manny, for reminding us all what's important
以及今年应该是我们最难忘的圣诞节
and how this should be the most memorable Christmas.
曼尼 你想喝香槟鸡尾酒吗
Manny, would you care for a champagne cocktail?
有劳了 我的确很喜欢香槟
Please. I do love champagne.
也许等我转过身去时
And maybe when I turn my back,
卢克可以把舌头伸入杯子里
Luke can put his tongue all over it.
全都好痛啊
Everything hurts!
卢克 我想你该走了
Luke, I think you should go.
不 他哪都不会去
No. He is not going anywhere.
每家都有一个坏胚子 需要被赶出去
Every family has a bad seed that needs to be cast out
这样他们才能浪子回头
so that they can find their way back.
我本来以为我们家的坏胚子会是海莉
I thought that ours was going to be Haley,
但意外怀孕
but an accidental pregnancy
拯救了她 没有走上堕落的人生
saved her from a life of degradation.
干嘛夸人家
Aww!
谁都不用离开
W-- Nobody has to leave.
我能和我爱的人们共度一个夜晚
I can spend one evening with the people I love
我也能忍♥受
and a shifty lecher
多一个戴着涂满蛋黄酱的浴帽睡觉的奸诈淫棍
who sleeps in a shower cap filled with mayonnaise.
那能让我的头发光泽靓丽
It gives me my sheen.
而且我让你别说出去了 你个怨夫
And I told you that in confidence, you hump!
好了 都给我闭嘴
Okay! Knock it off!
该用农场的裁决方式来解决了
It is time for some farm justice.
在我老家 如果同时有两头公牛想当老大
Back home, when we have two alpha bulls,
我们就把它们关进围栏里 决斗定胜负
we lock 'em in a pen and let them fight it out.
这是曼尼和卢克之间要解决的问题
This is between Manny and Luke.
快 走啊 哞 走啊
Come on! Let's go. Hyah! Hyah!
你们自便享用姜饼人哦
Oh, and help yourself to a gingerbread person.
都是无麸质无性别的
They're both gluten and gender free.
好贴心
Ohh!
好可爱哦
Oh. Isn't they a cutie?
没解决之前 不许出房♥门
Do not come out of this room until this is settled.
我对公牛说的 我现在也对你们说 先生们
I will tell you what I tell the bulls, gentlemen --
我爱你们俩
I love you both,
但别让我后悔没阉了你们
but don't make me regret letting you keep your testicles.
好 出拳揍我吧
Okay. Punch me.
我知道听起来很疯狂 但我觉得...
I know it sounds crazy, but I think --
漂亮
Amazing!
你居然真的动手
I can't believe you did that!
我也没料到 但告诉你 这并没让我好受一些
Me neither. And it didn't make me feel better, by the way.
要不试试踢他 或是戳他眼睛
Maybe kick him or jab him in the eye.
曼尼 对不起
Manny, I'm sorry.
我也希望是别的女孩
I wish it were someone else,
但我真的很在乎雪莉
but I really do care about Sherry.
我入睡前想着她
I go to sleep thinking about her.
醒来也想着她
I wake up thinking about her.
我一看到她 就好像
When I see her, it's like...
我的心也跟着笑了
my heart is smiling.
我还以为这个家里的娘炮指数已经封顶了呢
Wow. I didn't think this house could get any gayer.
我也很在乎她 我希望她幸福
Well, I care about her, too, and I want her to be happy.
所以
So...
一定要告诉她你的感情
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