摩登家庭
Modern Family S11E06
Part 1
Nov. 23, 2019, 10:44 a.m.
不 玛格丽特 我希望你
No, Margaret, I want you to triple check
跟合规官再三确认这事
with the compliance officer about that.
你在做什么
What are you doing?
我在搞个小发明
I'm working on a little something.
你知道你在做煎饼时
You know how when you're making pancakes,
-手上总是沾满了面糊吗 -不知道
- your hands are always full? - No.
这可以解决那个问题
Well, this'll solve that.
你是把烟雾报♥警♥器里的电池取下来做这个了吗
Did you take the batteries out of the smoke detector for this?
不 我还在 还在呢
No, no, still here. Still here.
不 我希望今天下午就看到投资者声明
Yeah, no, I want to read the investor statement this afternoon,
但是多姆 你得重新发一遍
but, Dom, you're gonna have to resend it.
你不小心把你写的小说的第一章发我了
You accidentally e-mailed me the first chapter of your novel,
给你点小意见
and just a tiny little note,
并非所有的胸都是丰满的
maybe not all bosoms are heaving.
谢了 各位
Thanks, guys.
周六早上也要打工作电♥话♥
Work call on a Saturday morning?
怎么回事
What's going on?
亲爱的
Honey.
你可能现在不想谈这个
You probably don't want to get into this right now,
但这到底是秃了一块还是发旋的中心
but is this a bald spot or the center of your swirl?
我的工作简直太惨了
My job has been miserable.
我总在工作 连睡觉的时间都没有
I'm always working, I never sleep,
我整天做的就是给别人擦屁♥股♥
and all I do is clean up other people's messes
因为我是所有人中唯一的成年人
because I'm the only adult in the room.
天啊
Oh, my God.
我这是又当妈了
I'm a mom again,
但我的孩子却是一帮我不爱的人
but to people I don't love.
亲爱的 听我说
Sweetheart, listen.
多年来 你一直支持着我
For years, you supported me
任我在房♥地♥产♥行业耍 以及玩杂耍
while I juggled realtoring and -- and juggling.
现在轮到我来支持你了
And now it's my turn to support you.
有任何困难 直接找我
Anything that's not work, I'm your guy.
天啊
Oh, God!
瞧瞧你们啊 玩得很开心嘛
Hey, look at you guys. So playful.
等我结婚了
When I get married,
我希望我和我老婆永远不要失去这种怪念头
I hope my wife and I never lose that sense of whimsy.
-谢谢你 卢克 -你有什么事
- Thank you, Luke. - What do you want?
好吧 我就老实交代吧
Okay, here's the deal.
我兄弟斯库特和我
My buddy Scooter and I
想出了一个超赞的商业点子
came up with this really cool business idea.
我们觉得一定会大获成功的
We think it's gonna be huge.
那真是太好了 小老弟
That's great, pal!
我们太为你骄傲了啊
We are so proud of you.
直接说弊端吧
Get to the bad part.
没有弊端
There is no bad part.
实际上 你们还能多赚点钱
Actually, you guys are gonna make money.
因为我打算退学创业 这样就省下学费了
Because I have to drop out of school to do it.
你绝对不能退学
You're not dropping out of school.
-亲爱的 -别
- Honey... - No.
我来处理
I -- I got this.
不过我们应该能预料到会有这么一天
But we should've seen it coming.
毕竟他老爹是"嘿 面糊"牌面糊挤压器的发明者
After all, his dad is the creator of the Hey Batter, Batter.
在打棒球时常有人喊"嘿 击球手[Batter]"以分散其注意力
名字只是暂用 很可能已经被人注册了
The name's a placeholder.
但非常可能还没人用
But probably still available.
爸 我希望你知道我超爱你的面糊发射器
Dad, I want you to know I love your pancake shooter.
那你看到这个改进版的...
Have you seen the updates...to...
即冷型吸管了吗
the Insta-Cold straw?
你应该作为名人被印在邮票上
You should be on a stamp.
那东西有不电到人的时候吗
Has that ever not electrocuted someone?
有时候你必须先电击一些人
Sometimes you have to shock a few people
才能让世界有触电般的震撼
before you shock the world.
这句话该附在你的邮票上
That should go on your stamp.
够了 别再恭维你♥爸♥了
Okay, stop flattering your dad.
你绝不能退学
You're not dropping out of school.
你就快毕业了啊
You're almost done!
更重要的是
And more importantly,
我们这个家绝不允许半途而废
we don't quit things in this family.
海莉就从大学退学了
Haley quit college.
艾丽克斯中止了她在南极的工作
And Alex quit her job in Antarctica.
爸爸也从没完成过一个数独
And Dad has never finished a Sudoku.
那太难了
They are hard.
妈 这不是在瞎闹
Mom, this isn't some goof.
斯库特和我真的很看好这个点子能成功
Scooter and I really believe in this idea.
至少能让我们向你们展示下
Can we at least show you
今天下午的投资人介绍会吗
in the investor presentation this afternoon?
我们很乐意去听听 对吧
We'd love to hear it, wouldn't we?
当然了
Of course.
太好了 你们一定不会失望的
Yes! You guys aren't gonna be disappointed.
我这就去打给斯库特
I'm gonna call Scooter now.
他绝对不能退学
He's not dropping out of school.
你必须用开放的思想去听
You have got to listen with an open mind.
毕竟
After all,
如果所有父母都强迫自己的孩子待在学校
what kind of world would we live in if all parents forced their kids
不去追求梦想 那我们会生活在什么样的世界
to stay in school and not pursue their dreams?
没有史蒂夫·乔布斯 没有马克·扎克伯格
No Steve Jobs, no Mark Zuckerberg,
没有超模辛迪·克劳馥
no Cindy Crawford.
史蒂夫·乔布斯将电脑装进了大家的口袋里
Steve Jobs put a computer in everyone's pocket.
卢克差点死于在电动扶梯上脱帽衫
Luke almost died taking off a hoodie on an escalator.
我要表达的重点是 梦想是需要培育的
My point is, dreams need to be fostered.
说老实话
And if I'm being honest,
我还挺乐意担任那两个年轻人的导师的
I kind of love the idea of being a mentor to these two young minds.
木勺子
Wooden spoon!
快用木勺子隔断连接
Knock it away with a wooden spoon!
谢谢救命之恩
Thank you.
这简直太棒了
Oh, this is amazing!
天啊
Oh, my God.
大爸的走路姿势就是那样的
Daddy so walks like that!
你们为什么笑成这样
Why are you guys laughing?
因为 因为我们开心
We -- We were happy?
从什么时候开始的
Since when?
你们又在看那个视频吗
Were you watching that video again?
最近 高中学校的海豚吉祥物
Recently, the high school dolphin mascot
在橄榄球比赛期间 一直在模仿小卡的动作
has been, uh, mocking Cam during football games.
他简直是个... 我一般很少用这个词夸人
He's -- and I don't use this word lightly --
天才
a genius.
在比赛中用用脑子不行吗
How about we get our heads in the game?!
瑞克 你要从中间飞奔过去
Rick, you're gonna be streaking through.
所以要撞开别人飞快地穿过去 明白吗
So it's gonna be boom, boom. You got it?
我很惊讶你竟然无法
I'm surprised you can't see the humor
从那个吉祥物的行为中感受到幽默
in what the mascot is doing.
这跟扮小丑很像不是吗
Isn't it a lot like clowning?
-你刚说什么 -你是疯了吗
- What did you just say? - Are you insane?
扮吉祥物跟小丑表演完全不一样
Mascot-ing is nothing like clowning!
小丑是宫廷小丑的后代
Clowns are descendants of the court jester,
是国王的忠实谏臣
truth-teller to the king.
吉祥物根本不懂什么真♥善♥美♥
Mascots know nothing of veritas and beauty.
你们不就是折气球做小狗吗
Don't you just make wiener dogs out of balloons?
你这是嫉妒 因为没有小孩子会说
You are just jealous because no kid ever said,
"妈妈 今年我的生日能请一位
"Hey, Mom, this year for my birthday,
缉毒警♥察♥来吗"
can we get a narc?"
好吧 我很抱歉
Okay, look, I'm -- I'm sorry.
我压力山大 这个吉祥物让我很不爽
I'm just stressed out. This mascot is under my skin!
今天我不能让他害我出丑
I can't have him making me look like a fool today.
我刚得知一位
I just found out a recruiter
北中♥央♥密苏里大学的猎头
from the University of North Central Missouri
要来看我执教
is coming to watch me coach.
猎头
A recruiter?
你申请了密苏里州的工作吗
Did you apply for a job in Missouri?
我只说了我有空
I just said I was available.
都没跟我商量商量
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