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Modern Family S11E05

Part 1 Nov. 23, 2019, 10:44 a.m.

我觉得不太舒服
I don't feel so good.
小可怜怎么了
Aww, what's going on?
让我看看
Let's see.
你有点发烧啊
You are kinda warm.
或许应该把毯子掀开散散热
Maybe get rid of some of these blankets?
真可爱啊
Aw, that is cute.
你为了过万圣节打算吓我
You tried to scare me for Halloween.
这怎么可能没有吓到你呢
How in the world did that not frighten you?
其中有些还是我的真血呢
Some of this is my actual blood.
我在安装的时候把自己划伤了
I nicked myself putting it on!
亲爱的你完全不知道要怎么吓人
Sweetie, you don't know the first thing about scaring people.
关键在于"可信度"
It's all about plausibility.
你刚刚也太淡定了
And you were awfully casual
完全不像一个胸口被斧头砍中的人
for a guy who just got an ax in the chest.
如果你真的想吓我
You know, if you really wanted to scare me,
你应该等到我打开衣柜门时
you should've waited until I opened the closet
发现你用一条领带上吊死了
and found you hanging by a necktie.
什么烂主意
Excuse me!
我自杀吗
I killed myself?!
是啊这很有可信度
Yeah. Totally plausible.
你傻乐了这么多年
I mean, you've been so happy all these years,
抑郁肯定会在某一天爆发不是吗
the other shoe is bound to drop, right?
顺便说下
By the way,
我也不是很信用领带上吊这一套
I am not married to the whole necktie thing.
也可以是...
It could be, um...
举枪自尽或服毒自尽
shotgun or poison
或者用电钻钻眼睛...
or a power drill to the eye --
打住打住
Stop. Stop!
现在你真的吓到我了
Now you're scaring me.
高手一出手便知有没有
That's how you do it.
万圣节快乐啊
Hey, happy Halloween!
本来是快乐的却被你妈毁掉了
It was until your mother ruined it.
他只是在生气
Oh, he's just mad
他试图吓我却失败了
because he tried to scare me and he couldn't.
我很难被吓到的
I'm tough to scare.
我女朋友怀孕了
My girlfriend's pregnant.
-不要 -菲尔
- No! - ‭Phil.
她都跟我们差不多大了
She's our age.
如果她都怀上孕了会上新闻的
If she was pregnant, it'd be on the news.
但这招不错
But good one.
爸对不起
Dad, I'm sorry.
我今早又没时间帮你把这个送过去
I don't have time to drop this off for you again.
艾达·梅·曼恩
Ida Mae Mann?
这不是那个整日坐在窗前的孤独妇人吗
Isn't that that lonely little lady that sits up in her window?
他总是强迫我帮他送邻里协会的材料
He always makes me deliver his neighborhood association stuff
因为他害怕她
because he's afraid of her.
这也太离谱了
That's crazy!
我经常去那个房♥子的啊
I go by that house all the time.
这画面真不迷人菲尔
Not hot, Phil.
好吧她很瘆人
Fine! She's creepy!
她像商店的招财猫一样整天坐在窗前
She sits in that window like a store cat.
好吧
Okay.
我会在跟比尔去吃晚餐时顺带送过去的
I'll drop it off on the way to dinner with Bill.
他要带我去好食餐厅预约的6点
He's taking me to Buon Cibo's at 6:00.
我也要跟珍妮丝去好食餐厅也是6点
I'm going to Buon Cibo's at 6:00 with Janice.
好恶心我可不想看着你
Ew! I don't want to watch you
对她使用烂俗的泡妞手段
run your discount body-spray game on her.
把你的预约时间改到晚一点
Change your reservation to later.
臣弟做不到
I can't.
她必须在睡前4小时用餐
She has to eat four hours before bed
否则就会出现胃反酸
because of the reflux.
-你改时间吧 -不行
- You change. ‭- No!
我们吃完要去看《德州电锯杀人狂》
We're going out after to see "Texas Chainsaw Massacre,"
我也不敢相信我竟然同意去看了
which I can't believe I agreed to.
那听上去好有趣啊我从没看过这电影
Ooh, that sounds like fun. I've never seen that movie.
你敢信吗我这个"克大胆"竟然没看过
Can you believe that? Me, of all people.
那我们必须去看了
Uh, then we're going.
你觉得已经没有任何东西能吓到你了吗
You think you can't be scared anymore?
那是我看过的最吓人的电影了
That's the most terrifying movie I've ever seen.
好极了放马过来吧
Great, bring it.
我很期待被吓到
I look forward to being scared.
我竟然怀孕了
I'm pregnant?
菲尔
Phil!
你买♥♥到装扮服了吗
Did you get the costumes?
是的我时间不够
Yeah, I -- I didn't have a lot of time,
于是我从上班的地方偷了些东西来
so I had to steal something from work.
求你不要...
Please don't...
评判[法官袍]
judge.
好吧这个开头还算过得去
Okay, that's not a bad start.
我觉得我可以用这个发挥一下
I think I can work with this, yes.
莉莉上别针
Lily, my pins!
万圣节让我们激动万分
We are so excited for Halloween.
多年来第一次
You know, for the first time in years,
我们打算潇洒走一回
we're gonna get a little cray
去参加盛大的同志万圣节嘉年华
and go to the big gay Halloween carnival,
就像我们当初青春年少膝下无子时那样
like we used to when we were young and childless --
那年"潇洒走一回"这说法也还没过时
And people still said "Cray."
以前我们总是把莉莉拴在身边
We -- We've always had Lily with us in the past,
但我们现在正在努力培养她的独♥立♥性
but we are on a crusade to make her more independent,
所以当有人邀请她参加一个派对时我们就...
so when she got an invite to a party, we sort of, uh --
-立刻替她回复会参加 -是的
- RSVP'd for her. ‭- Yeah.
但说实话让她出去
But you know what? It's gonna be good for
跟她同年纪的人社交一下对她有好处
her to socialize with people her age,
而我们出去跟年纪只有我们一半的人社交也有好处
and good for us to socialize with people half our age.
好啦
Okay.
米奇
Mitchell...
朱迪法官[著名电视人物]
Judge... Judy.
你的才能
Your talent...
你简直像被基佬天使亲吻过一样
It's like you were touched by a gay-ngel.
你之前还说我们再也不会穿
And you said we would never wear
参加胡娇婚礼时穿过的伴郎鞋了呢
the groomsmen shoes from Pepper's wedding again.
稍等一下小姑娘
Just a second, young lady.
我们很高兴你今晚要去参加派对
W-We're very happy you're going to this party tonight,
你不觉得这个装扮服性暗示意味太明显吗
but, uh, isn't this costume a little, uh, suggestive?
这就是我在拉拉队的真队服
This is my actual cheerleading outfit.
你们知道我参加拉拉队了吧
You guys know I'm doing that, right?
是啊是啊当然啦肯定知道啦
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Totally.
我们应该知道这事的对吧
We should have known that, right?
乔你提前回来了吗
Oh, Joe, you're home early?
我准备了一个惊喜...
I got a surprise for --
曼尼
Oh. Manny.
我知道你吃母乳吃到能走路的年纪
Look, I know you breastfed until you could stand,
但你现在还玩不给糖就捣蛋年纪大了点吧
but aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating?
这不是为万圣节准备的
This isn't for Halloween.
我的单人秀正处于最后的排练阶段
I'm in final rehearsals for my one-man show
《西格蒙德·弗洛伊德:自我再出发》
"Sigmund Freud: Here Ego Again."
我给你留了四张票但如果你需要更多...
I've saved you four seats, but if you need more --
不用四张够了
No, four's good.
话说到底是什么惊喜
So, what's the surprise?
是给乔的啦
Well, it's kind of a Joe thing.
他正跟他朋友一起在外面讨糖吃
You know, he's out trick-or-treating with his friends.
我等他回来再给他看
I-I'll wait till he comes home to show it to him.
偏心地对待你的儿子们
Hmm, playing favorites with your sons,
可能会无形中重复
perhaps unconsciously repeating the cycle
你父亲造成的...
your own father perpetuated on --
一张票就够了
You know, one ticket's gonna be good enough.
屋里真的冷还是因为我扮成
Is it cold in here, or is it just me
《冰雪奇缘》里的冻人美女所以觉得冷
because I am the frozen lady from "Frozen"?
你为什么还不♥穿♥你的装扮服
Why aren't you wearing your costume?
"随它吧" 歌♥洛莉亚随它吧
Let it go, Gloria. Let it go.