Because sometimes I'm not angry.
只是饿了
I'm just hungry.
你知道她包里没有什么吗
You know what she's not gonna find in that purse?
比你更好的人
Someone better than you.
-真的吗 -真的
- Really? - Yeah.
你能找到比她更好的
You can do better than --
我一时想不起她名字 反正是茉莉的老妈
I'm forgetting her name right now, so Molly's mom.
要知道 我不是因为你安慰我才安慰你
You know, I'm not just saying it because you said it,
但我一直都觉得比尔配不上你
but I never thought Bill was good enough for you.
真的吗
Seriously?
你值得拥有聪明又有求知欲的人
You deserve someone smart and curious.
说实话 他每次出门时都说
Be honest, didn't you get sick of him saying
"我赌我能从那上面跳过去" 你没听够吗
"I bet I can jump over that" every time he walked outside?
谢了 卢克
Thanks, Luke.
我们不需要他们 对吗
We don't need them, right?
再过几周
In a couple weeks,
我们会把他俩都忘干净
we won't remember either one of them.
消防员
A fireman?
修女
A nun?
珍妮丝的口味特别重
Janice was into some really weird stuff.
是她吗 那是玛莎·斯图尔特吗
What about her? Is that a Martha Stewart?
我觉得那是戴妃
I-I think that's Princess Di.
杰 你得做好心理准备
Jay, you have to prepare yourself.
我们的糖果棒可能找不回来了
We may not find your candy bar.
我们已经问过四个玛莎·斯图尔特
We've stopped four Martha Stewarts,
两个赏金猎人老狗和朱迪斯·赖特本人
two Dog the Bounty Hunters, and the real Judith Light.
顺带一提 她人真好
How nice was she, by the way?
是啊 落落大方 接着找
Yeah, class act. Keep looking.
是老妈
Hey, that's Mom!
-妈 -曼尼
- Mom! - Manny!
我跟你说过多少次 扮成老头的时候
How many times have I told you not to shout "Mom"
不要大声叫我"妈"
when you're dressed like an old man?
算上这次 就这一次
Including now? Once.
对不起 我不是生你的气
I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you.
我是气米奇和小卡把我丢在这
I'm mad at Mitch and Cam for leaving me here
那个刻薄的童子军又让我觉得自己好老
and the mean Boy Scout that made me feel so old.
老
Old?!
亲爱的 你看起来娇艳极了
Sweetie, you look delicious!
-真的吗 -真的
- I do? - Yes.
你现在就过来跟我们跳舞
You're dancing with us right now.
好
Okay.
看我在地上发现了什么
Look what I found on the ground.
已经太迟了
We're too late.
抱歉 杰
Sorry, Jay.
你想谈谈此刻的感受吗
Do you want to talk about it?
不 我不想看起来像可怜虫一样
No! I don't want to seem like a sad sack.
不好意思
Excuse me.
这个糖有什么特别的
What is it about this candy?
有夏天的味道 我说不好
It just tasted like summer or something,
我不知道
I don't know.
但一代新糖换旧糖
But out with the old, in with the new.
糖果棒停产了
Candy bars come and go.
唱片店都不见了
No more record stores.
六岁的儿子长大了
6-year-old sons too grown up
万圣节不愿意跟老爸去要糖果
to go trick-or-treating with their dads.
没人再用传呼机了
No more beepers.
乔不想跟你过万圣节
Are you that bummed that
让你这么低落吗
Joe didn't want to spend Halloween with you?
不 那只是一个阶段的开始 你懂吗
No! It's just the beginning of the whole thing, ya know?
一旦撕开那个封条
When you-when you break that seal...
我知道乔今晚想和朋友们一起玩
Look, I know Joe wanted to be with his friends tonight,
但他肯定还会想跟老爸过万圣节的
but he'll definitely want to spend another Halloween with his dad.
你怎么知道
How do you know that?
孩子们总会回头的
Kids have a way of coming back.
哪怕不得不为此编个可笑的借口
Even if they have to... make up a dumb reason to do it.
万圣节快乐 孩子
Happy Halloween, kid.
等等 这件事要谨慎处理
Wait, this is a delicate moment.
我们要是没处理好会吓到她的
We could scar her if we don't handle it right.
老天 我知道你这话没错
God, I know that's true.
我的初吻特别可怕
My first kiss was terrible.
我妈撞见我吻一个女孩
My mom walked in on me with this girl.
我至今仍能听到我妈对我爸大喊
I can still hear my mom scream to my dad,
"我就说他不是同性恋"
"I told you he wasn't!"
我的更糟
Well, mine was worse.
我没跟你比惨
It's not a competition.
我爸发现我在谷仓里
My dad found me in a barn
跟橄榄球训练假人舌吻
open-mouth kissing a tackling dummy.
你赢了
And you win.
好 我们要温柔但坚定
Okay, so, gentle, but firm.
-知道吗 -知道
- Okay? - Yeah.
亲爱的 你还好吗
Sweetie, is-is everything okay?
我没事 走开
It's nothing. Go away.
宝贝 是不是有男生
Honey, did-did a boy pressure you
逼你做你不想做的事了
to do something you didn't want to do?
恶心 才不是呢
Ew! Gross! No.
那是不是有女生逼你做你不想做....
D-Did a girl pressure you into doing something --
天啊 你能不能去领养另外一个孩子
Oh, my God! Can you adopt a second child
然后别这么目光都聚焦在我身上啊
to take some of this off of me?!
亲爱 亲爱的 我们只是想帮帮你
Honey -- Honey, we -- we just want to help, okay?
我们只是担心或许我们强迫了你
We're -- We're afraid that maybe we pushed you
去参加你还没准备好参加的派对
into going to that party before you were ready.
是这样的 我以为有个男生很喜欢我
Look, I thought this boy really liked me,
结果他只是利用我来接近我朋友凯利
but he was just using me to get to my friend Kelly.
-凯利吗 她很辣鸡啊 -对啊
- Kelly? Ew, she's gross! - Yeah.
她才没有呢 她是我的朋友
No, she isn't. She's my friend.
但她比不上你啊 任何选她而不选你的人...
She's not you. And anyone who would pick her over --
你当然会这么说啦 你是我的爸爸
Of course you'd say that. You're my dad.
抱歉 你们说什么都安慰不到我的啦
I'm sorry, there's nothing that you could say that would help.
懂了吗
Okay?
你们不是女生 你们也不是十二岁
You're not a girl, you're not 12.
你们怎么可能会懂那种
What would you know about liking a boy
喜欢一个男生而人家不喜欢你的感觉
who doesn't like you back?
亲爱的...
Oh, honey --
我去给大家拿点冰激凌
I'm gonna get us some ice cream.
好啦 你过来 你过来
Okay, come here, come here.
好啦
Okay.
老公 你不能因为
Honey, you can't be mad
我看那个电影不被吓到而生气啊
that I wasn't scared by that movie.
它就是个婴儿啊
It was a baby.
它有三排牙齿呢
It had three rows of teeth!
婴儿乳齿啊
Baby teeth!
这的确不是你的错啦
Look, it's not your fault.
只是在你旁边这么比较起来 我就像个孬种
It's just that, next to you, I feel like such a wuss.
只是因为你会因为一部电影
Just because you get a little
而有点发神经不代表你就是...
bit squirrelly in a movie doesn't make you --
等等 我们为什么要过马路
Wait, hang on. Why are we crossing the street?
我们家就在这条街底...
Our house is right down --
等等 你不会是
Wait a minute, you're not
害怕经过那个小老妇人的家吧
afraid of the little old lady's house, are you?
你怎么知道人家小不小
You don't know she's little!
我们对她唯一的了解就是她坐在那里
All we know is she sits up there
在窗前谋划着什么邪恶的计划
plotting evil from her window.
她不在那里了
She's not there.
她不是总是在那里吗
She's always there!
一切今天为止
This stops now.
我们现在就去敲人家门
We're gonna go knock on that door,
自我介绍一下
introduce ourselves,
然后让这件神经事就此了结
and put an end to this nuttiness.
开门时机有些诡异啊
Well, that's weird timing.
那个...
The, um...
艾丽克斯来递送的东西
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