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Modern Family S11E08

Part 2 Feb. 29, 2020, 11:06 a.m.

我们还考虑过用我哥哥的精♥子♥
Well, we also thought about asking my brother.
你不会想选择这个方向的
Oh, you don't want to go down that road.
太复杂了
It's too complicated.
"是爸爸又是舅舅是爸爸又是舅舅"
"My daddy, my uncle, my daddy, my uncle."
简直是电影《唐人街》的翻版
It's "Chinatown."
没错你们最好找一个
Yeah, you want someone that --
不那么亲近的人
you know, with a little distance,
你们认识且熟悉
that you know and -- and trust.
长得帅气身体健康
Who's attractive and healthy.
家族里至少一代半
And who hasn't had mental illness in their family
没有精神疾病
in at least a generation and a half.
那真如美梦一般
Well, that's the dream.
美梦也是可以成真的
Well, dreams can come true.
天啊谢谢你们
Oh, my God. Thank you, guys.
不是谢谢你们
No, thank you.
如果你们想到了合适的人能告诉我们一声吗
If you think of someone, will you let us know? u202d
-死拉拉 -死拉拉
- Lesbians. - Lesbians.
这是你的卡布奇诺
Here's your cappuccino.
我就不喝了
None for me.
我不需要精神抖擞地体会
I don't need to be sharp to experience
生活没有雪莉·桃久奇后的空虚
the empty void that is life without Sherry Shaker.
牛奶里拉的这画是什么
What are these little drawings in the milk?
是我凭窗远眺的画面
That's me staring out a window.
那些星星是用我的眼泪做的
I made the stars with my tears.
宝贝如果你能够在我开了三个街区后
Ay, papi, if you can survive me driving three blocks
才发现你在我车顶且活下来
with you on the roof of my car,
那这次你也能撑过去
you can survive this.
那是几时发生的
When did that happen?
你跟雪莉本来就不会有好结果
It wasn't gonna work out with Sherry anyway.
她是加拿大人
She's Canadian.
他们钱币上印着鸭子
They have ducks on their money.
牛奶装在袋子里卖♥♥
They sell milk in a bag.
有需要再来我房♥间找我吧
I'll be in my room if anyone needs me.
我骗谁呢根本没人需要我
Who am I kidding? No one needs me.
宝贝失恋这种事会自己拨乱反正的
Ay, papi, these things have a way of working out.
我保证
I promise.
你保证
You promise?
你干了什么好事
What did you do?
我找了人帮忙
I called in a favor.
卢克
Luke!
又来我们不是扯平了吗
Again? I thought we were even.
我要你为曼尼做一件事
I need you to do something for Manny.
那对他非常重要
It'll mean the world to him.
行吧
Okay, I guess.
我要你去雪莉的即兴表演
I want you to go to Sherry's improv show,
对她说曼尼的好话
talk him up to her.
我要她后悔跟他分手了
I want her to regret breaking up with him.
不绝对不行
No. Not that.
唯独即兴表演不行
Anything but improv.
即兴表演和被施水刑没什么区别
Improv is no different than getting waterboarded.
你只要保持冷静
Just stay calm,
心里想着让你快乐的地方
go to a pleasant place in your mind,
并且谨记你不是真的快死了
and remember that you're not actually dying.
好吧我去
Fine. I'll do it.
乖孩子
Good boy.
继续睡吧
Go back to sleep.
你为什么带撬棍来
Why'd you bring a crowbar?
没原因呀
No reason.
歌♥洛莉亚我们不该插手
Gloria, we should not be involved.
你知道我每次失意时
You know what my dad always said to me
我爸都对我说什么吗
every time I was down?
什么都不说
Nothing.
我学会独自解决所有问题
I learned to figure everything out on my own.
这是你最缺乏魅力的特质
This is your least attractive quality.
你的同理心呢
Where is your empathy?
我有同理心啊
I have empathy.
就是关心在乎别人的意思对吧
That's the one where you care about people, right?
你不愿意为任何人付出
You don't go out of your way for anyone.
我愿意啊
Yes, I do.
你记得俱乐部那个泊车小弟吗
You remember that little valet at the club?
如果我没有害他被炒鱿鱼
If I hadn't got him fired,
他现在还在帮人移座椅靠背呢
he'd still be moving everybody's seats up.
来啦
Okay, here we go.
家传秘方的杏子酱
Some apricot jam from an old family recipe.
虽然你们对我的"家传秘方"不会有兴趣
Not that you would be interested in any of my family recipes.
出什么事了吗
Is everything okay?
你们为什么不想选我们当捐精者
Uh -- Uh -- Why don't you want us to be your donor?
没关系直说了吧
It's okay. Just say it.
-你们反感我的红发 -还是讨厌他的雀斑
- You're put off by my red hair. - Or is it his freckles?
-还是因为我容易晒伤 -或是因为他的...
- Or my tendency to burn. - Or is it his --
-你就不能说个你的缺点吗 -行吧
- Can this one please be about you? - Yeah, yeah.
等等你们意思是愿意捐精给我们吗
Wait, are you saying that you would donate for us?
老实说我们很希望这样
Honestly, we would love that,
但又怕让你们为难
but we were afraid to put you on the spot,
而且我们以为你们不会答应
and we didn't think you'd say yes.
-我们当然会答应啊 -我们很喜欢你们
- Oh -- Well, of -- of course we'd say yes! - We adore you!
莫莉我们好像找到孩子的爸爸了
Oh! Molly, I think we just found our daddy.
-天啊 -太好了
- Oh, my God. - Okay.
那你们想要我们中的哪一个
Okay, so, which one of us do you want?
我不知道我们都还没机会
I don't know. We haven't even had a chance
-考虑这个 -是啊
- to think about it. - Yeah.
要不要我们绕场一圈
Well, would it be helpful if we, you know, walked around
让你们欣赏一下我们从肩部到小腿
so you could take us in from shoulder to shank?
这又不是在县集市卖♥♥猪
It's not the county fair.
好吧那要不我们出去外面
Alright, well, maybe we'll just go outside
踢点什么看看腿劲儿
and, I don't know, kick something?
或者我们比赛拼拼图
Or -- Or we could do a puzzle?
或是看谁会拼写"康涅狄格州"
Or we could spell Connecticut?
不如你们俩决定吧
Why don't you guys just decide?
我们要哪个都行
We're -- We're happy either way.
应该没问题
Shouldn't be a problem.
很好你们俩都在家
Oh, good, you're both here.
听着我思考了昨天的事
Listen, I was thinking about yesterday,
你很难过
how upset you are,
你也说我不关心别人的感受
and how you say I don't care about people's feelings,
所以看好了
so check this out.
布兰蒂进来吧
Brandi, get in here.
我还没抽完烟
I'm not done with my cigarette!
你干了什么好事
What did you do?
我之前一直在想
I was trying to figure a way
如何能帮曼尼走出失恋阴影
how to help Manny to move on,
突然之间我就遇到了这位小天使
and all of a sudden, I met this little angel.
白兰蒂
Brandi?
等等啦
Hold on!
滤嘴那部分才最带劲儿啊
The best part's right at the filter!
你们会喜欢她的
You're gonna love her.
她在洗车店负责管理抹布
She runs towels at the car wash.
-你为什么支持他乱来 -我没...
- Why did you encourage this? - N--
明明还有"白兰地"
Hey, now, why settle for Sherry
何必单恋"雪莉酒"
when you can have a little Brandi?
我承认这双关挺机智
I'll admit, that's good.
我勒个大操
Holy
这房♥子太屌♥了
This house!
难怪你能付得起火山岩打蜡
So, this is how come you can afford the lava wax.
白兰蒂这是我妻子歌♥洛莉亚
Brandi, this is my wife, Gloria,
这猛♥男♥是我儿子曼尼
and this stud is my son, Manny.
白兰蒂你一定是个好女孩
Brandi, I'm sure you're very nice,
但我才刚失去一生挚爱还没走出来
but I'm dealing with losing the love of my life,
我还需要点时间
and I just need some time. u202d
我懂你现在的心情亲
I know what you're going through, honey.