摩登家庭

Modern Family S11E01

Part 2 Nov. 23, 2019, 10:43 a.m.

I don't want to just be their Vice Principal.
我想做他们的好校长
I want to be their nice principal.
我不敢相信你让此发生
I can't believe you let this happen.
我不知道他会玩文字哏
I didn't know there'd be wordplay.
小卡让我作为助理检察官和他的学生聊聊
Cam asked me to speak to his students as an Assistant DA,
用执法机关的角度与他们交流一下
give them the perspective of law enforcement.
事实上我一直在找个机会
Truth is, I have been looking for an opportunity
展示我的新勋章
to show off my new badge.
即使是最硬气的罪犯
Even the most hardened criminals
看到也会发抖
shudder when they get a gander at --
千万别刮伤了
Please don't be scratched!
♪ 我腿上放着班卓琴 ♪
♪ With a banjo on my knee ♪
我不在乎这些孩子们做过什么
I don't care what these kids did.
-这惩罚太惨无人道了 -我知道
- This is cruel. ‭- I know.
一个玩摇滚的副校长
A vice principal that plays rock 'n' roll.
我是不是不太一样是的
Am I a little different? Yes, I am.
我不像你们生命中其他成年人
I'm not like the other adults in your life
他们等着你们把事情搞糟
that are just waiting for you to mess up
然后对你们指指点点
so they can point the finger at you.
我不想指指点点[指交]小孩
I don't want to finger a bunch of kids.
这不是我欢乐的来源
That's not how I get my jollies.
小卡小卡
Cam. Cam.
我知道那种感觉
I know what it's like.
我曾经上学时也遇到问题
I had issues in school,
我也被人各种指指点点[指交]
and I was fingered left and right.
让我告诉你们那感觉很难受
And let me tell you, it did not feel good.
米奇尔我们是不是应该录下来
Oh, Mitchell, should we be recording this?
是的不然我说了别人都不信
Oh, yes, no one's gonna believe me.
这需要多久塔克先生
How long is this gonna take, Mr. Tucker?
塔克先生是你们的酷副校长
Oh, now, Mr. Tucker's the cool vice principal at school.
在我家里
Here at my house
请叫我小卡
call me Cam.
好吗
Okay?
这是米奇尔
And this is Mitchell.
他是一位助理检察官
He's an Assistant District Attorney,
他是我们的特邀发言人
and he is our guest speaker.
他白[人]到像透明的一样
He's so white he's see-through.
谢谢你
Thank you.
我们居住在一个受法律约束的社会
We live in a society bound by laws.
对吧
Okay?
而法律分隔了秩序与混乱
They're all that stand between order and chaos.
而违反法律的人
And those who violate those laws
将会看到法律的这一面...
wind up staring at the business end of --
它不见了
It's gone!
什么你身上的聚光灯吗
What, the spotlight on you?
不是我的小丑雕塑
No, my porcelain clown figurine.
它本应该在这个桌子上的
It's supposed to be on this table.
它一直在这个桌子上
It's always on this table.
你们当中有人偷了它
One of you stole it!
居然还在劳伦·白考尔生日这天
And on Lauren Bacall's birthday?
小卡小卡冷静
Cam. Cam. R-Relax.
今天不就是为了不要对他们先入为主吗
Uh, isn't the whole point of today not to prejudge them?
得了米奇尔他们是垃圾
Oh, please, Mitchell. They're trash.
我知道他们也知道
I know it. They know it.
每个人都知道
Everybody knows it.
♪ 欢迎回家我亲爱的宝贝们 ♪
♪ Welcome home, my sweet babies ♪
♪ 交好保证金后拿钥匙 ♪
♪ After escrow, get the key ♪
求你别唱那首歌♥好吗
Please don't sing that song.
抱歉但这首好过《爸爸去房♥产估价会了》
Sorry, it's better than "Pop Goes the Appraisal."
妈妈你在干什么
‭Mom, what are you doing?
快停下书上说不应该在宝宝午睡时
Stop it. The book says you're not supposed to
跟他们眼神有接触
make eye contact during nap time.
他们只是婴儿又不是片场的男神约翰尼·德普
They're babies, not Johnny Depp on a film set.
♪ 房♥屋参观时段为中午到下午5点 ♪
♪ Open house, noon to 5:00 ♪
♪ 这间需要修缮的房♥子真可爱 ♪
♪ Such a charming fixer-upper ♪
怎么样了
H-o-ow's it going?
还在哭
Still crying.
你没跟他们发生眼神接触吧
You didn't make eye contact, did you?
并没有那种说法菲尔
That can't be a thing, Phil.
而且我有点听烦了
And I'm getting a little sick
海莉总暗示我们不会抚养小孩
of Haley insinuating that we don't know how to raise kids.
她说的肯定不是我
She can't be saying that about me.
我三十岁期间有五年都拿来跟孩子们盖毯子堡垒
I spent half my 30s in blanket forts with those kids.
知道吗
You know what?
你得去把她哄睡着
You need to get her to go to sleep
我才能用正确的方式把宝宝们哄睡着
so I can put those babies down the right way.
用我们的方式
Our way.
她现在都被逼疯了我怎么才能哄她去睡觉
She's crazed right now. How am I supposed to get her to sleep?
我不知道啊她小时候你是怎么做的
I don't know. How did you do it when she was a kid?
爸爸药店不是在那个方向吗
Dad, isn't the drugstore that way?
是没错但那边施工
It is, but there's construction,
我只能... 绕个路
so I got to -- got to go around.
车里是不是好热呀
Is it warm in here?
我觉得还好啊
I feel fine.
对了我最近发现了一个新电台
You know, uh, I just discovered this new station
叫"世界之风"
called "Winds of the World."
这个很棒
Ooh, this is -- this is a good one.
假如你闭上眼睛
If you close your eyes,
就会感觉自己正身处...
it feels like you're right there in, um...
"开阔大草原"
"Open Prairie."
试试你在后座眯眼休息会儿吧
Try it. You should get some rest back there.
我不困
I'm not sleepy.
你不用睡着啦
Well, you don't have to sleep.
就是闭目养神一下
Just, uh -- Just rest your eyes.
人家不想嘛
Uch. I don't wanna.
你发脾气只是因为你太累了
You are just grumpy 'cause you're overtired.
别再说我累了好不好
Stop saying I'm tired!
好的
Okay.
我知道了
I know.
我们来列举一下
Let's make a list
明天都想做些什么事吧
of all the things we want to do tomorrow.
我嘛我打算吃华夫饼
I am, uh -- I'm gonna have some waffles,
出门
uh, go outside,
列出我所有朋友的名字
uh, make a list of all my friends' names.
有... 邮差
There's, uh, the mailman...
开... 冰淇淋店的那位女士
the lady with the ice cream...house...
当你躺在斯黛拉的狗床上
Cuando te acuestas en una cama de perro por Stella,
你会感到被爱环抱
sabes que eres amado.
非常棒老婆录好了
It's perfect, honey. We got it.
她永远都说不好了
She's never gonna get there.
我去公园里找个拉丁裔保姆来配音好了
I'll ask one of the nannies in the park to do it
就下次我照顾乔的时候
next time I take Joe.
她们爱死我了
They love me.
我每次去她们都非要送我粉蒸肉带走
I can never get out of there without a bag of tamales.
我们的巨星来了
Well, there's our star!
杰你好啊我超喜欢剧本好有趣哦
Hey, Jay. Love the script, so fun!
曼尼
Manny.
我不知道你会来
I didn't know you'd be here.
我是你的导演
I'm your director.
我们之间用不着感到尴尬
No reason it has to be awkward.
只要你在"开拍"和"卡"之间
As long as you do everything I say
完全按我说的去做
between "Action" and "Cut."
说到开拍
Speaking of which,
我最近"开啪"了不少次呢
I've been getting quite a bit of action.
卡听着这场地按小时收我租金的
And cut. Look, I'm renting this joint by the hour.
我们赶快开工行吗
Can we just do this?
你好歌♥洛莉亚
Hi, Gloria.
雪莉你好演出顺利[摔断腿]
Hi, Sherry. Break your legs.
雪莉你准备好就随时开始吧
Okay, Sherry, whenever you're ready.
天惹我在公园玩了一整天的接球挖地
Boy, am I tired after a day of playing fetch, digging,
和闻其他狗狗之后真是累毙了耶