摩登家庭

Modern Family S11E11

Part 3 Feb. 29, 2020, 11:07 a.m.

I want to pose them to re-create famous photos from history.
重现《胜利之吻》的服装我准备好了
I've got all the outfits, uh, to re-create the VJ-Day kiss,
但我还需要一顶软呢帽
but I still need the fedora
重现杰克·鲁比击毙李·哈维·奥斯瓦尔德
to pull off Jack Ruby and Lee Harvey Oswald.
-小心 -放心枪里当然不会有子弹
- Careful. - u202dWell, obviously, the gun won't be loaded.
不不是路面有坑
No, no, no. There's a pothole.
老天
u202dOh, geez.
车胎肯定瘪了
I bet we blew a tire.
幸运的是某位本地发明家
Fortunately, one local inventor
一直在努力研发专利产品快速千斤顶
has been hard at work on the Presto-Jack TM,
该气动装置既能顶起车身
a pneumatic device that both lifts a car
又能为钻头提供更换车轮螺母的动力
and powers a drill to change lug nuts.
-该不会... -没错
- I don't suppose -- - u202dYep.
-就在后备箱 -太好了
- In the trunk. - u202dYes!
我们终于有机会试用了
We can finally test it out!
准备好发射了吗
You ready to launch?
开始吧
Let's do it.
特别稳抬起来了
Steady as she goes, and she's up!
起效了你成功了
It's working! You did it!
它为什么还在上升
It's... Why is it still going?
你按开始键时很用力吗
How hard did you press start?
和那有什么关系
Well, that shouldn't matter!
-按"结束工作"就好 -好的
- Well, just press "End task." - Okay.
但只能按按钮的右半边
But only on the right side of the button.
你为什么不先告诉我
Why wouldn't you tell me that first?!
老天爷啊
Sweet maker!
所有人都警告过我会发生这种事
Everybody warned me this would happen.
黛布拉
Hello, Debra.
小卡
Hi, Cam.
想得美
You wish.
我知道你不会承认但这双眼睛
I know you'll deny it, but these eyes...
能直接看穿你
can see right through you.
你是指我偷走了年度最佳教育者奖
You mean how I stole the Educator of the Year Award?
我让你承认了
I got you to admit it.
幸好我戴着录音设备
It's a good thing I'm wearing a wire.
-让我看看 -该死的
- Let me see it. - u202dDamn it.
我会穿着这条裙子成为舞会之花
I'm gonna be the belle of the ball in this dress.
偷走这个奖让我有了自信
Stealing this award has given me the confidence
人挡杀人佛挡杀佛
to crush everyone in my path.
不好意思
Permiso.
我根本没见到歌♥洛莉亚进试衣间
I never even saw Gloria go into the dressing room,
可她就那样出现了如超级英雄一般
but there she was, like a superhero,
一个亮相就能摧毁别人的自信
able to destroy confidence in a single pose.
我很高兴没买♥♥刚才那条裙子
I'm glad I didn't go with the first dress.
他们看一眼这条裙子就会选我做校长
They'll take one look at this one and make me principal.
-搞什么 -你知道吗
- Aw, come on! - You know what?
或许你该试试那位女士穿的裙子
Maybe you should try the dress on that lady's wearing.
我的天太天才了我自叹不如
Oh, my God. That was brilliant and humbling.
我一直以帮别人解决问题而自豪
You know, I-I pride myself on solving people problems.
要知道你的阴鬼也还没解决
You know what? You still have the swooper.
-或许我可以 -不必了谢谢
- Maybe I could -- - No, thanks.
她只是不愿意让别人帮她但我愿意
She just can't accept help, but I can.
我想穿这件大衣跟布兰达约会
I'm thinking about rocking this for my date with Brenda.
先别管这些纽扣
Ignore the buttons.
你能看出这是女式大衣吗
Can you tell this is a woman's coat?
能
Yes.
销♥售♥课第二堂课创造需求
Sales lesson number two -- create demand.
到处放几张狗床当狗狗爱上它们
Leave a few dog beds lying around, dogs fall in love,
你的电♥话♥就会响个不停了
your phones start ringing off the hook.
快去快
Go ahead. Go.
我的狗狗特别喜欢这张床
My dog really likes this bed.
不知道放在这能不能创造需求
I wonder if leaving it here will create demand.
不用了谢谢
Uh, no, thank you.
很好的开始
Alright, good start.
你本可以表现得更可爱些
You could've been a little cuter with that.
-什么 -你现在怎么说"特别喜欢"了
- What?! - u202dWhen did you start saying "Really likes"?
怎么不说"尊稀饭"了
What happened to "Weawwy wikes"?
你请了语言治疗师来羞辱到我不说
You paid a speech therapist to shame it out of me.
还是没有信♥号♥♥
Still no cell service.
我们搭便车去理发店吧
Let's, uh, let's just hitchhike to the barber
在那打电♥话♥给拖车公♥司♥
and call a tow company from there.
你总是翻旧账
You can't let anything go!
你在我怀孕时跟我妹妹睡了
You slept with my sister while I was pregnant.
又不是性感的那个妹妹
Not the hot one!
我向天发誓我向天发誓
I swear to God -- I swear to God,
我们一定要办完婚礼这样等我杀了你
we are going through with this wedding so that I can kill you,
就能跟你的尸体办离婚了
and then I'm gonna divorce your corpse!
一看就知道是恩爱小两口
Well, you seem like a nice couple.
能让我们俩搭个便车吗
Room for two more in there?
我爸的乐观态度
My dad's positive attitude
对抗早晚闹出人命上新闻的情侣
versus a couple bound for a "Dateline" episode?
根本不是一个量级的
It wasn't even a fair fight.
♪ 甜蜜的卡洛琳 ♪
♪ Sweet Caroline ♪
♪ 叭叭叭 ♪
♪ Bup-bup-buh ♪
最后一课总是做好转头走人的机会
Alright. Final lesson -- always be willing to walk away.
罗恩
Hey, Ron.
冲着咱们是老朋友我才先来找你
I'm coming to you first 'cause we're old friends.
-我叫朗恩 -行听着
- It's Lon. - Yeah. Hey, listen.
这价格是有点贵
It's a steep price on this one,
但这不怪我
but don't blame me.
我的利润其实比做这个的童工还少呢
I'm pocketing less than the kids that, you know, made this thing.
比格犬号♥已着陆
The Beagle Has Landed.
抱歉杰这些都卖♥♥不出去
Sorry, Jay, none of these are selling.
长得像烤饼的那些也不行吗
Even the ones that look like hot cakes?
也许养只小狗能让你开心一点
Maybe a puppy will cheer you up.
我告诉过你了不可能的
I told you, not gonna happen.
你要放弃了吗
You're giving up?
我根本送不出去这些东西
I can't give these things away.
忘了今天我教你的一切吧
Forget everything I taught you today.
我说的那些根本狗屁不通
I don't know what I'm talking about.
先生我爸爸要给你
Hey, mister, my dad was about to give you
一次千载难逢的好交易
the deal of a lifetime --
一百块就可买♥♥到一百张狗床
100 dog beds for a hundred bucks,
这样你每卖♥♥一只狗就可送出一张狗床
so you can give one away with each new dog.
一百块是吗
A hundred bucks, huh?
我看出来你没什么兴趣
I can see you're not serious.
别摇尾巴啦伙计
Slow down that tail, buddy.
我要把它带走了
This is leaving with me.
慢着别走啊
Wait, wait. Don't walk away.
五十块怎么样
Would you do 50 bucks?
那你能送我们一只小狗吗
Will you throw in a puppy?
我的晚年做了两个项目
I've had two late-in-life projects.
一个狗床是个失败
One, dog beds, was a bust.
另一个
The other...
看起来颇有前景
...is looking pretty promising.
好了
Alright, okay.
那么汉德曼在99年倒闭了
So, Handelman closed in '99,
所以没有客人登记表能查何时退房♥的
so no guest registry to tell us when we checked out.
租车公♥司♥也是死胡同一条
Rental car companies are a dead end,
也没有信♥用♥卡♥收据
and no credit card receipts.
米奇尔我们不得不认清现实了
God, Mitchell, it might be time for us to face some facts.
什么现实上面有人
What? That some people very high up
不想让我们找到真♥相♥吗
don't want us to know the truth?
不是我们得在这件事上放过爸爸了
No. That we might have to let Dad skate on this one.
想都别想
Never.
少吃点泡泡糖香烟米奇尔
Go easy on those bubble-gum cigarettes, Mitchell.
对身体不好
They're gonna kill you.
听着我们尝试过了好吗
Look, we tried, right?
我买♥♥过这个泡泡糖香烟
I bought a pack of these
就在咱们待在酒店的最后一晚
the last night we were at that resort
当时我为了在我们去的演唱会上耍帅买♥♥的