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Modern Family S11E17
Part 3
April 14, 2020, 9:07 a.m.
他看起来像《好人寥寥》里的汤姆·克鲁斯
He looks like Tom Cruise in "A Few Good Men."
我不介意找几个好男人"聊聊"
I wouldn't mind cruising a few good men.
再次道歉
Again, I'm sorry.
我把时间都花在孩子的生日派对上了
I spend all my time at kids' birthday parties.
我们族群现在真的没这么粗俗了吧
We're really probably better than this now, right?
-是的 -言归正传 我们给你们带了一份乔迁之礼
- Yeah. - Anyways, we brought you a housewarming gift.
这完全都是杰的功劳
Jay deserves all the credit.
-暂时将你们眼睛闭起来 -或许永远别睁开了
- Close your eyes. - Maybe never open them.
请看
Ta-da!
他是位老派酒保 来看看
He's an old-time barkeep. Now, check it out.
他是个大块头 就像小卡
He's a big guy, like Cam,
他有红色的头发 就像你
and he's got red hair, like you!
爸爸
Dad!
这就是我们需要的 一点奇思妙想
This is exactly what we needed... A little whimsy!
我超喜欢
I love it!
你才不呢 其他基佬们 告诉他
No, you don't. Other gays, tell him.
我们会和这家伙玩得很开心的
We're gonna have so much fun with this guy.
比如在独♥立♥日给他戴山姆大叔帽
We can throw a-an Uncle Sam hat on him
感恩节戴新移♥民♥帽
for the 4th of July, a pilgrim hat for Thanksgiving.
同志骄傲节的时候戴彩虹假发
Or a rainbow wig for... for pride.
这是件艺术品
Well, it's a piece of art.
你们不会想把他弄得傻乎乎的吧
I don't think you want to make it silly.
所以这个大家伙有名字吗
So, does this, uh, big fella have a name?
当然 因为他是小卡和米奇的合体
Sure does. Since he's a combo of Cam and Mitch,
所以叫卡奇
he's Kitsch.
是的没错 爸爸 太完美了
Oh, yeah! Yes, he is! Dad, it's perfect!
太棒了 现在米奇尔更开心了
Great. Now Mitchell's even happier.
我会在这个房♥子里终老的
I'm gonna die in this house.
-嗨 -艾丽克斯
- Hi. - Alex. Hi.
请进 请坐
Come in. Have a seat.
所以
So, um...
所以 我就直说了
So, I guess I'll just get right into it.
当我邀请你加入我的团队时
I-I didn't see this coming
我没预料到会有这事
when I asked you to work with me,
我想我有点担心
and I guess I'm sort of afraid...
你会如何反应
...how you... how... how you might react,
这也解释了我举止尴尬的原因
which, uh, explains why I'm acting so awkwardly
以及我为什么说话停不下来
and why this sentence won't seem to end,
演员休·格兰特这么做就很讨喜
which is so delightful when Hugh Grant does it,
但我听起来就像胡言乱语
but I just sound like a raving...
-让我来说吧 -快请
- Let me stop you. - Please do.
我知道你想要说什么
I think I know what you're trying to say.
显然我们之间有暗潮汹涌的情愫
Uh, it appears there's some romantic tension between us,
你担心一旦我签了合同
and you're afraid that once I sign my contract,
我们就失去了发展的可能
we won't be able to act on it.
事实上
Uh... actually,
我只是打算告诉你
I was... I was just going to tell you
我们的项目移到瑞士了
that our project has been moved to Switzerland.
靠 海莉
Damn it, Haley!
那你为什么支支吾吾
Well, then why were you hemming and hawing
还提到休·格兰特
and bringing up Hugh Grant,
这会让每个女孩都直接联想到爱情喜剧
which takes every girl right to rom-com?!
我担心你不想搬那么远
Well, I was afraid that you wouldn't want to move so far.
而且我感觉
And... And... And... And you know, I feel responsible
对你的辞职有责任
for you quitting your job.
忘记我刚刚说的 所以去瑞士对吧
Forget what I said! So, uh, Switzerland, huh?
-他们提供住房♥吗 -其实还真提供呢
- Do they pay for housing? - Um, actually, yeah.
太好了 这替我解决了一个大问题
Perfect. Perfect. That solves a big problem for me.
我加入 机场见
Yep. Count me in. See ya at the airport.
等下
Hold on!
看来有些事情
Um, it seems like there's something
我们得绕回去聊下
that we should circle back to.
不不 我没事
No, no, no. I'm fine.
艾丽克斯 我从没想过
Alex, I've never c-considered
和你交往的这种可能
a romantic relationship with you.
"太棒了" 还可以再回味下
Oh, great. Let's relive it.
我年龄比你大好多
I mean, I'm so much older.
我还和你姐姐交往过
I-I-I dated your sister.
都是很好的理由 停车费还在跳表 我...
All good reasons. I'm at a meter, so I'm just...
但假如对你来说
But if it's something that isn't completely
交往不是毫无可能的话
out of the realm of possibility for you,
那么如果我说
then I'd be lying if I said
我觉得是不可能的 那就是撒谎
it was out of the realm of possibility for me.
-好的 -所以我们再聊聊之前的话吧
- Oh. Okay. - So, let's go back.
你是说如果我们之前就已经是恋爱关系
You're saying that if we had a pre-existing relationship,
更确切地说是以量子态形式存在的关系
or rather, a relationship that existed in a quantum state,
就好像两个缠在一起的粒子
like two entangled particles...
你不用为了我特地简化 但...
You don't have to dumb it down, but...
是的
but, yes,
我们就可以交往 从法律上来说
we'd be good to go, legally speaking.
那或者现在我们应该创造一些证据
Well, then, maybe we should create evidence now
来证明将来可能抑或不可能的恋爱关系
of a relationship that may or may not happen later?
什么证据
What kind of evidence?
我想我们可以发调情短♥信♥
I suppose we could exchange saucy texts.
-蛮符合逻辑的 -好吗
- Seems logical. - Yeah?
好的
Okay.
"你今天真好看"吗
"You look beautiful today"?
-太过了吗 -不不不
- Is that too much? - No! No, no, no.
我... 但删掉我的吧 或者就...
I... But... But maybe delete mine, or just read it...
天啊
Oh, my God!
你比我擅长太多了
You're so much better at this than I am!
不该发那个的
Didn't have to send that.
或许我们应该来张合照
Maybe we should take a photo, you know?
证明我们以前就在一起了
Proof that we were together?
或者亲下脸颊
Uh, maybe a kiss on the cheek?
好挑逗哦
Yeah. How provocative.
-是的 -好的
- Yeah! - Okay.
一二三
and one, two, three. Mwah.
天啊 对不起
Oh, God! Good God! I'm so sorry.
我以为 我亲你的脸颊
I-I-I thought my... my lips and your cheek.
不 我以为你说的是你的脸颊
No, I-I thought you meant your cheek.
-不 -好吧
- No! - Wow! Oh! Okay.
好吧 我们有照片了
Well, that... that... we have it.
-是的 这超重要的 -我们做得真棒
- We have it, and that's super important. - Well done, us!
又勾住了 真是好极了
Oh, good God. Oh, just great.
-二位好啊 -你好
- Hello, you two! - Hi!
-来一个法式咸派[吻]吧 -好欧式啊
- How about a little quiche? - Oh! How European.
罗纳多 你有什么秘方[你有什么秘密]
Oh, Ronaldo, what's your secret?
小卡得到了密苏里的教练职位邀约
Mm, Cam got offered that coaching job in Missouri,
胡娇刚做了第八次拉皮
and Pepper got his eighth face lift.
-什么 -是的
- What?! - I know.
我们不再买♥♥汤了
We don't buy soup anymore
因为他无法完全合上嘴
because he can't close his mouth all the way.
小卡 你得到那个工作了
Cam! You got the job!
-你们要搬家了 -靠 罗纳多
- And you're moving. - Damn it, Ronaldo.
很明显 胡娇不是唯一一个
Apparently, Pepper's not the only one
合不上嘴的人
who can't keep his mouth closed.
快走 去上你的小菜吧
Go. Serve your little apps.
我不敢相信
I can't believe this.
别紧张 我会拒绝的
Okay, don't panic. I'm... I'm gonna turn it down.
真的吗 但这是你一直想要的
Oh, really? But it's what you've always wanted.
我知道 但米奇尔 他
I know, but Mitchell, he's...
我从没见过他这么开心
I've never seen him so happy.
我不能毁了这一切
And I can't ruin that.
我都不打算告诉他我收到邀约了
I'm... I'm not even gonna tell him I got the offer.
我也不喜欢
Well, look, I-I am not a fan
看到你们俩离开
of the idea of you guys leaving,
但是如果你不告诉米奇尔
but if you don't tell Mitchell,
你最终会怨他的
you're gonna end up resenting him.
不 我 我不是这种人
No, that's... that's not how I'm built.
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