摩登家庭
Modern Family S11E01
Part 3
Nov. 23, 2019, 10:43 a.m.
and sniffing other dogs at the park.
要是有张美国制♥造♥的床就好啦
If only there were an American-made bed...
真抱歉 刚才表现太糟了
Ugh, I'm so sorry. That was terrible.
曼尼 我们重头来过好吗
Manny, can we start over?
我从没有过停止爱...
I never stopped..
你是指广♥告♥ 好
You mean the commercial. Yes.
不过 你刚才表现得很到位
Although, that was exquisite.
我都相信你真是条狗了
I believed that you're a dog.
我是歌♥洛莉亚啦
It's Gloria.
而你 真是丢人丢到家了
And you, you're embarrassing yourself.
-你在说什么呢 -你想赢回她的芳心
- What are you talking about? - You're trying to win her back.
纽扣打开了几颗 喷了香水
The unbuttoned shirt, the cologne,
还赞美她刚才那乏味的表演
the praising of her pedestrian performance.
-你不会成功的 曼尼 -为什么
- It's not gonna work, Manny. - Why not?
因为如果你希望别人喜欢你
Because if you want someone to like you,
就得让他们想要得到你的认可才行
you need to make them want your approval.
妈妈 这种老招早就被用过八百遍了
Mom, that's a tired, old way of thinking
不会有用的
that doesn't work.
给你
Here you go.
你觉得这杯东西有什么问题
What do you think is wrong with this?
见鬼 忘记放柠檬了 宝贝抱歉
Damn it, the lemon! I'm sorry, baby.
从头再来一遍
L-Let's start from the top.
这次语速别那么慢
And this time, not so slow.
更强硬点
Stronger.
主张要坚决 曼尼尔
Assert yourself, Manuel.
你说的话我一个字都听不清
And I couldn't understand a word you were saying.
嘴里不要像含着卤蛋
Try to get the marbles out of your mouth.
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
好的 你有要求尽管提
Yeah, whatever you need.
没准真能成
Wow, maybe this could work.
反正你都站着了 我肩膀有点僵
While you're up, my shoulders are a little tight.
帮我揉揉好吗
You mind getting in there?
我的双手接近你的颈动脉你还有命吗
I don't think you want my hands that close to your neck.
我邀请你们到我家来
I invite you into my home,
可你们就这样报答我
and this is how you repay me?
我知道你们是怎么想的
Oh, I know what you were thinking.
"他过着帝王般的生活 不差一个小雕塑"
"He'll never miss it. He lives like a king."
我们没偷你的破小丑
We didn't take your stupid clown!
你怎么知道是小丑 苏西
Interesting you know it's a clown, Suzie!
你都说过三次了 卡梅隆
You said it three times, Cameron.
请叫我副校长塔克
It's Vice Principal Tucker!
放尊重点 我可不是你♥妈♥的♥鸡头
Show some respect. I'm not your mom's pimp.
好了 小卡
Okay, Cam.
小卡 我知道你很喜欢小摆件
Cam, I-I know you like your tchotchkes,
但你叫孩子们来不是为了建立情感吗
but aren't these kids here so you can bond?
艾丽克斯 一切还好吗
Hey, Alex. Everything okay?
是的 或许是我小题大做了
Yeah, yeah. I-I'm probably overreacting.
我之前试着和这的一个科学家交朋友
It's just I tried to make friends with one of the scientists,
但我们语言不通
but there's a language gap.
他误会了 吻了我
He misunderstood and kissed me.
所以现在有点尴尬
So it's a little awkward now.
听起来真有趣
Uh-huh, that sounds fun.
什么 才不是
What?! It's not.
我有点想回家
I kind of want to come home,
可我来这让外公那么激动
but Grandpa was so excited about me doing this,
我不想让他失望
and I don't want to disappoint him.
你总让他失望
Hey, you've disappointed him a lot.
那是种什么体验
What was that like?
艾丽克斯 我为此纠结过许多年
Ohh, Alex, I struggled with this for years,
但我终于悟懂了
but I-I finally learned
最重要的事是
that the most important thing is --
艾丽克斯 替我跟圣诞老人打个招呼
Hey, Alex! Say "Hi" to Santa Claus.
-再见 -这是南极不是北极
- Bye! - I'm at the South Po-
好了 我想好要怎么做了
Okay. Alright, I've decided what I'm gonna do.
我要对其中一个孩子发起猛攻
I'm gonna turn the heat up on one of the kids.
那孩子要是凶手就会承认
If they did it, they'll confess.
假如不是 真凶
If not, the actual criminal...
就会内疚自首
will feel guilty and step forward.
所以咱整个周六就不干别的了吗
So, this is gonna be our whole Saturday?
好吧
Okay.
买♥♥单车干嘛 根本没机会骑
Why-Why did we even buy bikes?
是你偷了他的破小丑 对吗
You took his stupid, little clown, didn't you?
你们这代人如此残缺又愤世嫉俗
I find it sad that your generation
太悲哀了
is so damaged and cynical.
那是几天前的事
It happened a few days ago.
我讨厌那玩意
I hated that thing.
必须处理掉
It had to go.
不然他会凑成一整套收藏
I mean, that's how collections start.
我也不喜欢那个猫咪保温罩
I wasn't crazy about the cat cozy, either.
但我从未想过
But I never intended
小卡会错怪那些可怜孩子之一
for Cam to blame it on one of those poor kids.
我本想让保洁阿姨背这个锅的
I mean, I was just gonna pin it on the cleaning lady.
你把它藏哪了 小白崽子
Where's it at, Wonderbread?!
我不知道你在说什么
Uh, I don't know what you're talking about,
塔克老师 我发誓
Mr. Tucker. I-I swear.
好了好了
Okay. Okay.
我们都喘口气
Let's just, uh -- Let's all take a breath
回想一下基本的法律常识 好吗
and just remember some of the basics of the law, okay?
在被证明有罪之前 我们都是无辜的
We're all innocent until proven guilty.
怎么说我也是个身上带着...
Take it from someone who is packing one of --
见鬼 我把警徽忘在厨房♥了
oh, dang it. Ooh, I left it in the kitchen.
你们先别动
Okay, stay right there.
-太逊了 我们走 -不行
- This is lame. Let's bounce. - Okay, no.
在我找到小雕像前谁也不准走
No one is bouncing until I get my figurine.
但我必须尽快回家
But I have to get home soon.
我读过你的档案 贝琳达
I've read your file, Belinda.
根本没人在乎你 也不在乎你去哪
No one knows or cares where you are.
喝光
And...
搞定
done!
为什么 为什么
Oh, why?! Why?!
这是怎么回事
What is going on?
宝宝们怎么还醒着
How are they still awake?
我吸尘器也开了 奶粉也喂了
I tried the vacuum. I tried formula.
我什么都试过了
I tried everything.
还有办法
Not quite.
是时候拿出
It is time to break out...
大杀器了
the big guns.
我知道海莉不准用安抚奶嘴
I know Haley banned pacifiers,
但我买♥♥这些的时候
but I bought these
还以为她会是那种有哏的妈妈
when I thought she was gonna be a fun mom.
来吧
Let's do it.
快看
Look at that.
药到病除
It's working already.
老式育儿胜利了
Old-school parenting for the win.
他们马上就会睡着的
They'll be asleep in no time,
除非看到对方
unless they see each other.
-那就会笑到停不下来了 -是啊
- Then they won't be able to stop laughing. - Yes.
什么情况
What the hell?
奶粉 奶嘴
Formula? Pacifiers?
你们在逗我吗
Are you kidding me?!
这可真是一种清奇的方式来表达"妈妈 谢谢你
This is a very weird way of saying, "Thank you, Mother,
安顿好我的宝宝
for settling down my babies.
我还有很多要向你学习"
I have a lot to learn from you."
我说的你一个字都没听
You ignored everything I asked of you!
海莉 不要对你妈妈这么过分
Haley, don't be so hard on your mom.
还有你
Ohh, you!
这奶嘴一看就是你的风格
Those pacifiers have you written all over them.
宝宝们不该抽烟 反差萌啊
Babies aren't supposed to smoke!
你们怎么能背着我做这种事呢
How could you sneak behind my back like that?
宝贝 我们就是想帮你
Honey, we were just trying to help.
好吧 你没帮上
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