I feel so safe.
那个要再加点盐
That needs more salt.
那个要再加点奶油
That needs more cream.
艾丽克斯 那烤箱里有个蛋奶酥
And, Alex, I have a souffle in that oven
正英勇地膨胀升起
valiantly trying to rise.
你能不能别死命用力砸核桃
Would you mind not pounding those walnuts
你以为你是《巴黎圣母院》里猛敲钟的钟楼怪人吗
like you're Quasimodo just going at his bell?
知道吗 尼尔 我不知道如何...
You know what, Neil? I don't know how --
这个会不会太热啦
Are these too hot?
克莱尔 你为什么在清洗我们家的窗户
Claire? Why are you washing our windows?
我不知道
I don't know.
它们很脏 你妈又找到了一根长杆
They were really dirty, and your mom found a pole.
说来也巧
You know, funny coincidence --
上周 有人请我去一家制♥造♥杆子的公♥司♥
last week, I was offered the top job
任职高层
at a company that makes poles.
对 我也正在经历人生难关
Yeah, I'm going through something, too.
总之 我拒绝了那份工作
Anyway, I turned the job down,
但现在我又重新开始考虑去不去
but I think I'm reconsidering it.
她叫杰西卡
Her name is Jessica.
我知道杆子不像衣柜那么性感迷人
I know that poles aren't as sexy as closets.
但人们好像真的很喜欢杆子
But people really seem to like them,
而且它们出了名地不受经济衰退影响
and they are famously recession-proof.
天啊 我想我犯了个严重的错误
Oh, God. I think I made a terrible mistake.
我得打给那些人 接受那份工作 不然就给别人了
I got to call those people and get that job before it goes away.
-因为 -别打 克莱尔 那工作配不上你
- Because -- - Don't do it, Claire! It's beneath you!
曼尼 放尊重点
Manny, show some respect!
要是没有杆子
If it weren't for poles,
你向国旗宣誓就会像对脚踏垫宣誓了
you would be pledging allegiance to a floor mat!
-把手♥机♥给我 -不给
- Now, give me my phone! - No!
你不能在过渡期轻易接受备胎
You can't take a job on the rebound.
那只能让你开心一下
It'll feel good for a minute,
可之后你会坠入多疑与悔恨的虚空
but then you're plummeting down a K-hole of paranoia and regret.
你这周过得如何
How was your week?
好吧 我告诉你我为什么穿了高领衫
Fine. I'll tell you why I'm wearing a turtleneck.
在雪莉甩了我后
After Sherry dumped me,
我和第一个看得上我的女孩交往了
I dated the first girl who would have me --
讽刺的是 她是校篮球队的篮板王[备胎]
ironically, the leading rebounder on our basketball team.
这是被她用护齿牙套打的
That's where she hit me with her mouth guard.
我试过和她分手
I've tried to leave her,
可她单手抓住我的头 让我只能原地跑
but she just palms my head, and I run in place.
很遗憾你经历了这些 曼尼
Well, I'm sorry this is happening to you, Manny,
但这和我有什么...
but what does this have to do with --
她就是杆子公♥司♥ 克莱尔
She's the pole company, Claire.
从我的错误中学习经验
Learn from my mistake --
除非你想被拍下
unless you want a compromising Polaroid of you
你被挂在女生更衣室高处的耻辱照
hung up very high in the women's locker room.
这梯子一会借我用用吧
I might need to borrow that ladder later.
克莱尔
Claire!
你稍后想不想帮我在购物网站
Do you want to help me shop online later
选一些职业装
for some power suits?
老天 我真怀念能像你这样
Oh, God, I miss wearing comfortable clothes
一直穿着舒适的衣服
all the time, like you do.
是啊 听起来很有趣
Yep. It sounds like a lot of fun.
我
I --
我在做什么
What am I doing?
做得好极了 再接再厉
A terrific job. Keep going!
不
N-no!
我自打到这以后就一直在冒汗
I have been sweating ever since I got here.
你是不是骗我帮你做家务
Did you trick me into doing your housework?
没有
No.
你手♥机♥根本没响
That phone did not ring!
你走开是因为你知道你有罪
You're walking away because you know you're guilty!
把鞋脱了 我刚擦过地
And take those shoes off! I just did the floors!
朋友们对我们"离婚"的反应
My friends' reaction to our "divorce"
真的让我很不舒服
really bothered me.
于是我对小卡找了个借口
So I made an excuse to Cam
然后去了朗吉尼斯的派对
and went over to Longinus' party.
我想让朋友们知道
I wanted the friends to know
我和小卡一样在情感上总要人哄
that I am just as emotionally needy as Cam!
妹子
Hey, girl, hey!
真不敢相信你来了
I can't believe you came.
我的天 小卡还好吗
Oh, my God. How's Cam?!
-是啊 他还好吗 -小卡很好 他没事
- Yes, how is he? - Cam's fine. He's fine.
那不过是个大误会
It was just a big misunderstanding.
我们没有离婚
We're not getting a divorce.
妹子 快进来
Well, girl, come on in.
让我给你拿两杯酒
Let's get you two drinks --
毕竟你两手空空来了派对 一手一杯
one for each empty hand you showed up to the party with.
我真的需要喝一杯
Well, I-I could use it.
尽管我们没有真的离婚
I mean, even though it's-it's not true about the divorce,
说不定某天就真的离了
it could be -- you know, someday.
这让我 让我特别...
And that just-that just makes me so, so...
困惑
Confused?
生气 愤怒
Angry? Furious.
《速度与激♥情♥》
"The Fast and the Furious"!
这不是在玩猜谜游戏
Okay, this isn't charades.
我很悲伤
I'm sad.
-那是你悲伤的表情吗 -是的
- That's your sad? - Yes.
-那是你悲伤的表情 -是的
- That's your sad? - Yeah.
我现在真的很需要你们的支持
And I-I really need your support right now.
等等 他有点新状况
Wait, something new is happening.
我的天
Oh, my God!
你们怎么看不出我现在有多真情流露
How can you not see how emotionally raw I am right now?
世事无常
Nothing lasts forever.
一切结束后我们该何去何从
What happens when it's over?
可怜的小卡 他是那么脆弱
Poor Cam. He is so fragile.
-他肯定会发疯 -我们会陪他熬过去的
- He's really gonna lose it. - We'll be there for him.
有谁会帮我拭去这些泪水
Who will be there to dry these tears?
哪有泪水
What tears?
泪水在哪呢
Where they at?
不 又来了
Ay, no, not again!
这次不是我 是他自己撞的
It wasn't me this time. He did it to himself.
和上次不一样
Unlike last time,
上次是你故意让飞机撞到我脸上
when you purposely flew that plane into my face.
你是个禽兽 杰
You're a monster, Jay.
你说谁是禽兽
Who are you calling a monster?
他刚说了 是杰
Um, he just said -- Jay.
太不值了
This isn't worth it!
我就不该跟别人一起做任何事
Why do I do anything with people?
我很确定你没有脑震荡
I'm pretty sure you don't have a concussion,
但为了以防万一 我在这陪你
but I'm gonna stay here just in case,
不让你睡着
so you don't fall asleep.
歌♥洛莉亚 你去叫邓太太过来好吗
Gloria, should you go get Mrs. D?
当然 我看看能不能找到她
Oh, yeah, sure. I'll see if I can find her.
克莱尔
Claire?
看到小卡了吗
Seen Cam?
也祝您感恩节快乐
And a Happy Thanksgiving to you.
脾气真大 你听起来跟我爸一样
Oh, that's a lot of attitude. You sound like my dad.
是咱爸
Our dad!
你回来了 我刚收到朗吉尼斯的短♥信♥
There you are. So, I just, uh, got a text message from Longinus.
他说你把墨镜落在感朋节派对上了
Said you left your sunglasses at his Friendsgiving party --
那个你判定我们没时间去的派对
the one you decreed we didn't have enough time to go to.
米奇尔 你欠我一个道歉
Mitchell, you owe me an apology.
我欠你一个道歉
I owe you an apology?
尽管我没带礼物去朗吉尼斯的派对
I may not have brought a gift to Longinus' party,
但我可收到一份大礼
but I sure left with one.
就像他连别人哭都没见过似的
It's like he's never seen someone cry before.
想想难过的事
Just think of something sad.
例如宠物死掉
Like when a pet died,
或是勒迈克去做金球奖填空座的
or when L'Michael was a seat filler at the Golden Globes
结果身边居然是妮可·基德曼
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