摩登家庭

Modern Family S11E15

Part 4 April 14, 2020, 9:06 a.m.

Thank you so much for this --
机会
...opportunity.
不客气
You're welcome.
我不是在笑话你
I-I wasn't mocking you.
只不过每次我听到有人打喷嚏
It's just that whenever I hear someone sneeze,
我也必须打喷嚏让它变成偶数
I have to sneeze, too, so that it's an even number.
这是很正常的
It's-it's perfectly normal.
是的我完全理解
Oh, no, I completely understand.
几年前有次从淋浴间出来时
A few years ago, I forgot to tap the towel rod twice
我忘了敲两下毛巾杆
when I got out of the shower,
结果乔治·迈克尔在那天离世了所以
and we lost George Michael that day, so...
是你害的啊
That was you?
让我为你介绍一下我们的公♥司♥
Let me tell you a little bit about our company.
洗耳恭听
I'd love that.
但首先让我记些笔记
But first, I'd like to take some notes.
往上抬
Tilt up!
这就是我喜欢这个行业的原因
That's what I love about this industry --
从不无聊保持"尖峰"
never a "Dull" Moment.
没插电
It's not plugged in.
我们对收纳良品的定位是
We like to think of "Organize 'Em"
一家关于健康的公♥司♥
as a wellness company --
一家关于正念的公♥司♥
A mindfulness company.
你的架子在晃吗
Are your shelv shaking?
是的
Uh...yeah.
是的好像发生了小地震
Yeah, I think we're having a little earthquake.
不如这样不如让我
You know what? Why don't I tell you
向你介绍一下自己
a little something about myself?
我认为我是那种
I like to think I'm the kind of person
能看出顾客的消费趋势朝哪倾斜
who can see where the consumer trends are leaning,
做出快速调整
adjust quickly,
然后向反方向倾斜回来的人
and lean back the other direction.
我的天
Oh, my God!
我太喜欢整理了
Do I love organizing!
宝贝我爱死了
Baby, do I love it!
邓菲女士你喝酒了吗
M-Ms. Dunphy, have you been drinking?
说谎就行了她闻不到你一身酒气
Just lie. She can't smell your breath.
不可以茵素不可以
No, Poppy, no!
这他妈是在搞什么鬼
What the hell is happening?!
我放弃了
I'm calling it.
抱歉贝克曼女士这真是个馊主意
I'm sorry, Ms. Beckman. This was a terrible idea.
我... 好吧
I -- Okay.
我踩破了一格楼梯我的脚卡住了
I fell through a step, and my leg is stuck.
请听我说你们是我最想要为之奋斗的公♥司♥了
And listen, there's no company I would rather work for.
我不想跟你取消所以我请我的家人
I didn't want to cancel on you, so I asked my family
把这里布置得像我在办公室里
to make it look like this was my office.
杰·普里契特柜界先锋不过估计你早听说过我
Jay Pritchett, closeteer, but you probably know that.
能把他赶离我的听觉范围内吗
Could you just please get him out of my ear shot?
好的好的没问题
Yeah, yeah, sure.
相信我我本来很想让你以为
Listen, I wanted you to think that I was a person
我是一个井然有序又成功的人但我并不是
who had it all together, but I'm not.
现实就是我住在一片混乱之中
The reality is I live in chaos!
这就是为什么我这么爱你们的产品
But that's why I love your products.
每当... 我的孩子们吵架
When -- When my kids are fighting
或者我的孙子女们在哭闹
or -- or the grandkids are crying
又或是我丈夫跳着弹簧高跷做松饼
or my husband is making pancakes on a pogo stick,
我心里知道我可以去到我的办公室
I know that I can go into my office
把各类账单按颜色标记归档
and file bills in a color-coded divider
享受到片刻心灵的宁静
and experience one moment of peace.
我知道你们公♥司♥有多需要我
I know I'm what your company needs,
就像我知道我有多需要你们公♥司♥
because I know how much I need your company.
我得到工作了
I got the job!
她真是太棒了
I'm so proud of her!
我猜那肯定是我们的幸运阶梯
I guess it's our lucky step.
不用担心摔的是我
Don't worry. It's just me.
看有多幸运
Oh. u202dSee?!
你知道吗你也可以为我说两句的啊
You know what? You could have defended me!
我该说话吗
Mm. Should I have?
难道你同意他们说的话吗
Are you saying you agree with them?
我觉得他们的口号♥过于简化了
I found their chant rather simplistic.
如果是我我估计会说像是...
You know, I would have probably gone with something like...
"希洛动力公♥司♥这家跨国企业
"Helo Dynamics is a multinational corporation
只在乎利益而忽视道德"
that prioritizes profits over ethics."
我就知道你也对我有意见
I knew it. You are judging me.
你这么批判你所有学生吗
Do you judge all of your students like this?
艾丽克斯
Alex...
我其他的学生并没有你的潜力
all my students don't have the potential you do!
你是如此的不凡
You were extraordinary!
你本来应该成为改变世界的人
You were meant to change the world!
而且这并不是我一个人的想法
And it's not just me that thinks it.
迪兰的家庭新闻邮件里也写了
Dylan said so in his newsletter.
饶了我吧
Oh, spare me.
道貌岸然的学者鄙视得意门生
The sanctimonious academic, looking down on the star pupil
就因为她脚踏千金名鞋
because of her thousand-dollar shoes!
那双鞋价值上千吗
Those shoes were a thousand dollars?
哇靠价格是买♥♥鞋附赠一整村子的药物吗
Damn it. Do they come with medicine for a village?
告诉你我也不想说这话
You know what? I hate to say it,
但我不需要你的认可因为我喜欢我的工作
but I don't need your approval, because I love what I do.
那真是太遗憾了
Ah. Well, I am sorry to hear that.
-省省吧 -我遗憾是因为我在组织研究团队
- Don't be. - u202dI'm sorry because I am assembling a research team
想要创造无所不能的人工智慧
to create A.I. capable of everything
从发现外太空的系外行星
from discovering exoplanets in deep space
到人体中疾病的生物标记物
to biomarkers of disease in humans.
本来如果有你的加入
And you would've been a superb addition
可以让团队如虎添翼
to an exceptional team.
但拉倒吧
But pbht!
教授
Well, Professor...
你特么可以把这工作
you can take that job...
乖乖交给我
and give it to me.
不过你得付我在原公♥司♥的薪水
But I'm going to need you to match my salary!
我不确定我们团队有没有那经费
I'm not sure we have that kind of money.
成交
Deal.
我去看看我还能不能拿回去退钱
I'm gonna go see if I can still return these.
最后来到这美丽的家庭休息区
And finally, back to the beautiful family room.
很棒啊
It's great.
这里很美啊
I mean, it is beautiful.
我仿佛都能看见
I can see you both
你们在这里发生的各种美丽误会了
having a delightful misunderstanding here.
米奇尔听我说
Okay, now, Mitchell. u202dHmm?
你知道我这个人很少冲动
You know I'm not usually impulsive --
少来了你独自去超♥市♥买♥♥东西时
Please. You never go to the grocery store alone
就没有没带气球回家过
and not come home with a balloon.
但楼上的浴室真的太棒了
But that bathroom upstairs is amazing.
是啊我... 我也很喜欢我能有独自洗脸台
Yeah, and I -- I do love the idea of me having my own sink.
我们家的打扫阿姨终于可以知道是谁脏乱了
Our housekeeper would finally realize who the real villain is.
行所以我们应... 应该就下手啊
Okay, so we should -- we should do it!
我们点头吧
Let's do it!
-买♥♥下这房♥子吗 -对啊
- Buy this house? - u202dYeah.
我们连要不要再领养都还没决定呢
We haven't even made a decision about the baby yet.
另一个中介给我发消息了
Oh. Another broker just sent me a text.
有人6点要出价了
An offer is coming at six o'clock.
这下好了又一个倒计时
Great. Another ticking clock.
干脆就一边解除一个定时炸♥弹♥
Let's also disarm a time bomb
一边在网上用过期的信♥用♥卡♥抢碧昂丝的票吧
while buying Beyonce tickets online with an expired credit card.
你这个例子太扎心我要喘不过气了
Okay, that one got to me. I'm having hard time breathing.
我感觉我要犯心脏病啦
I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack!
而这带壁炉的宽敞家庭休息室
And this big family room with the cozy fireplace
正是适合你犯心脏病的完美地点
is the perfect place to have that.
好了好了歌♥洛莉亚别来这套了
Okay, you know what, Gloria? Stop.
我们我们... 我们需要时间考虑
We -- We -- We need to think.
不不不我们不需要考虑
No, no, no, we do not need to think.
我们需要的是停手