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Modern Family S11E05

Part 5 Nov. 23, 2019, 10:44 a.m.

The envelope Alex dropped off.
老太太都没有来收耶
The -- The old lady never picked it up.
什么声音啊
What was that?
天啊菲尔她摔倒了可怎么办
Oh, God. Phil, what if she fell?
我们进去看看她
We should go check on her.
大概吧
Yeah, I guess so.
我... 你先走我马上来
I am, uh, right behind you.
我去找一把手电筒
I'm just gonna go find a flashlight.
菲尔
Phil --
您好
Hello?
曼恩太太
Ms. Mann?
您好
Hello?
艾达·梅
Ida Mae?
艾达·梅
Ida Mae?
曼恩太太
Ms. Mann?
简单扼要一刀毙命
It was simplicity itself.
一年前克莱尔第无数次说我
A year ago, Claire accused me for the millionth time
这辈子都吓不到她所以我想出了一个计划
that I couldn't scare her, so I came up with a plan.
我就把房♥子买♥♥给一堆欧洲人夫妇
I'd just sold a house to a European couple
他们短期内都不会住到这房♥子里来
that weren't gonna take possession for a while,
然后呢去年秋天"艾达·梅"就搬来了
so, uh, last fall, "Ida Mae" moved in.
我就跟你说吧
I told you!
她整天都坐在那楼上
She's always up there!
幸好这房♥子就在克莱尔的慢跑路线中
Fortunately, the house was right on Claire's jogging route,
所以很轻易就能介绍艾达·梅给克莱尔认识
so it was easy to introduce Claire to Ida Mae,
而当我想加大剂量时
and when I wanted to amp it up,
我让艾达·梅跟她打交道了
I had Ida Mae make contact.
时间到了今早
Then, this morning...
我知道斧子的把戏吓不到克莱尔
I knew that ax wouldn't scare Claire.
所以我故意用这招来引诱她
I just did that so she'd accuse me
再次说我这辈子都吓不到她
of not being able to scare her.
关键在于"可信度"
It's all about plausibility.
太他妈对了
Damn right, it is.
在过去这一年
Over the past year,
艾达·梅加入了邻里协会
Ida Mae joined the neighborhood association,
为她跑掉的狗贴过海报
hung up a poster for her lost dog,
签名申请过慈善送餐活动
signed up for Meals on Wheels.
其实还蛮好吃的呢
They're not bad, by the way.
她还打了很多毛线呢
Also, she got a lot of knitting done.
抱歉啊克莱尔
Oh, I'm sorry, Claire.
我吓着你了吗
Did I scare you?
-这是你干的好事吗 -是啊
- You did this? - ‭Yep.
你计划这件事多久了
How long have you planned this --
11个月2周又3天之前
11 months, two weeks, and three days ago,
我让艾达·梅·曼恩降临到这世界上
I gave birth to Ida Mae Mann.
因为我就是最强的人[与名字音似]
Because I da main man.
菲尔不许现在玩谐音梗
Oh, don't you dare do word play, Phil.
抱歉
Sorry.
因为我真是开心死啦
I was having so much fun!
-什么 -我之前总是在想
- What? - ‭I was wondering what we were gonna do
未来这30年当我们的孩子们
for the next 30 years of our lives
都离我们而去时我们人生有何盼头
without the kids in the house.
但现在我知道了
And now I know --
你也开始扭曲了我喜欢死了
you're getting twisted, and I like it.
游戏开始
Game on.
"游戏开始" 你这"游戏开始"是什么意思
"Game on"? What do you mean "Game on"?
游戏游戏已经结束了啊
It's -- It's game over.
没这回事
Nope.
万事小心啊兄弟
Watch your back, buddy.
这游戏一定会非常非常有趣
This is gonna be so much fun.
我们不能就去旅行吗
Can't we just travel?
你妈去哪了
Where'd your mom go?
优胜者诞生啦
We have a winner!
伪娘皇后大赛
我今天真的很需要这份鼓励
I really needed this today.
抱歉借过
Excuse me.
那是我老婆
Hey, that's my wife!
想得美啊宝贝儿癞蛤♥蟆♥也想吃天鹅肉
Sure! Sweet heart. Like you could get that.
不不是的他真是我老公
No, no, no. That is my husband.
她知道这是...
Does she know that...
不知道我们也得一直守住这秘密
No, and we are never gonna tell her.