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Modern Family S11E12

Part 4 Feb. 29, 2020, 11:07 a.m.

She's messing with you.
不是啦我和她的孩子在很久以前就搬走了
No, our kid moved away a long time ago.
把之前我说的话忘了吧
Hey, forget what I told you earlier.
雇好看的那个也没问题
It's okay to hire the hot one.
你可能会交到一辈子的朋友
You may make a friend for life.
你们好啊
Hey, fellas!
你好赫歇尔
Hey, Herschel!
你们给我带三明治了吗
You bring me a sandwich?
没有我们今天没去熟食店
Oh, no, we didn't go to the deli today.
别别别等一下
Eh... u202dNo, no, no! Wait, wait, wait!
但我们来个回忆之旅怎么样
But how about a trip down memory lane instead?
等等等等等等
W-Wait, wait, wait.
赫歇尔看看我们找来了你的老朋友
Herschel, look, we have your old friend
-莫里·克拉克 -克拉克
- Murray Clark! - Clark!
还真是世事无常
Well, what do you know?
你好赫歇尔
Hello, Hersch.
好久不见了
It's been a lifetime.
少给我来这套你这个目中无人的狗♥杂♥种♥
Don't give me that, you smug son of a bitch.
怎么回事
What -- W-What's happening?
这个混♥蛋♥曾跟我们的橄榄球队教练说我是共♥党♥
This bastard told our football coach I was a communist.
害我被踢出球队
Got me kicked off the team.
我没准能成职业选手的
I could've gone pro!
我这么做是因为他抢了我送报员的工作
I only did that 'cause he stole my paper route!
害得我只能靠送冰养家糊口
I had to deliver ice to support my family.
送冰你们到底多大了
Deliver ice? How old are you guys?
-你个奸诈小人 -你卑鄙告密
- You're a snake! u202d- You're a rat!
他趁我去打仗抢了我的女朋友
He stole my girl when I went to war,
还假装瘸腿躲在家里
and he stayed home with a fake limp.
你应该感谢我
You should be grateful!
那个女人传染给我淋病
That woman gave me the clap.
那算是我送你的礼物
That was a little gift from me!
莫里刚才是怎么回事
Murray, what the heck was that?
这只是个开始
Just the beginning.
什么什么开始
The beg-- the beginning?
莫里你在干什么呢朋友
Oh -- Murray. Uh, what are you doing, buddy?
谁都不许那么跟我说话
Nobody talks to me like that.
好吧
Fine.
我要把它拿走
I'm taking it.
等我回家
And when I get home,
我要帮他报名一大堆邪教
I'm going to sign him up for a bunch of those fringe religions.
看看他喜不喜欢那些唱圣歌♥的来访者
Let's see how he likes getting all those singing visitors
还有那些免费圣经
and all those free Bibles.
我要把他的余生都毁了
I'm going to ruin the rest of his life.
看啊米奇尔他开始为未来做打算了
See, Mitchell, he's making plans for the future.
这就是要有竞争对手的原因给你活着的动力
That's why you have rivals. It's something to live for.
好了你只是在给错误的行为找借口
Okay, you're just justifying bad behavior.
莫里米奇尔上班的地方有个人
Okay, Murray, Mitchell has somebody at work
老是偷吃他的花生酱
that keeps stealing his peanut butter,
他又不愿意做出任何行动
and he won't do anything about it.
你想要制止他吗往里面加点泻药
You want to stop it? Try mixing in some laxatives.
然后在厕所门挂一个"施工中"的标牌
And then put an "under construction" sign on the bathroom door.
如果你真的想毁了他的一天...
And if you really want to ruin his day --
等等别急我把这些写下来
Okay, now, hold on, hold on. Let me write these down.
好就是你打给他老婆
Alright. You call his wife...
无线网断了
Hey, the Wi-Fi's out.
太衰啦兄弟
Huge bummer, man.
我本来都快写完我的诗啦
I was just about to finish writing my poem.
你也是写作家吗真是无巧不成书啊
You're a writer, too? Well, knock me over with a feather.
在下布莱恩·勒马克剧作家
Blaine Lemarque, playwright.
以前河口那边总停电
Power used to go out all the time in the bayou.
真的假的我正在写一部电影
So crazy, I'm writing a movie set
场景就设在河口名叫"沼泽警♥察♥故事"
in the bayou called "Swamp Cops."
我虽然还在电影学院但我很快就会家喻户晓
I'm in film school, but soon, everyone's gonna know my name --
基思·范克
Keith Fank!
我不小心听到你们对话
I couldn't help overhearing.
我叫朗达·詹莫威茨本地的报纸八卦作家
I'm Rhonda Jamowitz, gossip columnist for the local rag.
你们绝对猜不到昨晚是哪颗"星星"降落此处
You'll never guess which starlet was in here yesterday
还带着新男人与更新版的新鼻子
with a new man and a newer nose.
我还一直期待剧会渐入佳境
I was hoping that the play was gonna get better.
以及不会那么多朗达的戏份
With maybe a little less Rhonda.
我知道自己喋喋不休
I know I'm going on and on,
但这是在我母亲过世后
but for the first time since Mother passed,
我第一次不再感到孤单
I don't feel alone.
太棒了
Brilliant.
哪怕没有裸戏也完全没问题
I don't miss the nudity at all.
我们太过担忧与人关系密切
We're so worried about staying connected,
丝毫不顾我们立起来的心墙
ignoring the walls that are being erected.
我们被资讯给弄得晕头转向
We let the information confound us,
却忽略环绕在我们身边的爱
when there's so much love swirling around us,
而我们其实唯一需要做的是...
that all we need to do is --
网又好了
Wi-Fi's back on!
我怪我自己
I blame myself.
"学校成绩好吗送你一顶帽子"
"You got an A? Have a hat."
"你膝盖擦破了吗送你一顶帽子"
"You skinned your knee? Have a hat."
抱歉让你们久等了
Sorry for making you guys wait.
意外地花了比我预料的时间还久
It took me a little longer than I thought
才能回到曼尼这个身份
to find my way back to Manny.
太棒太赞了
Bravo, bravo!
又一次大成功
Another triumph, eh?
谢谢
Thanks.
我真的觉得这次的作品不一般
You know, I really think I have something here.
我看与其坐游轮去玩
Maybe instead of going on that cruise,
我还是留在家里继续打磨这...
I should stay home and work on --
你必须得去
You are going on that cruise!
这对你很有好处啊
It's gonna be good for you.
你♥爸♥爸为这事也废了很多心思
it's so important for your father.
他都计划了一整个冒险呢
He planned a whole adventure!
我们会在洪都拉斯喝龙舌兰
We'll drink tequila in Honduras.
在巴厘岛与海豚共游
We'll swim with the dolphins in Bali.
但当我们到了巴拿马运河那里
But when we travel through the Panama Canal,
我们会需要做点简单的家政服务工作
we'll be required to do some light housekeeping.
这是定好的条件
It's part of the deal.
好吧
u202dOkay, then.
我去拿一下我的东西
I'll just go grab my stuff
然后跟我的粉丝合影一下
and take some selfies with my fan.
歌♥洛莉亚
Gloria, dime --
为什么你突然对游轮旅改变♥态♥度了
why are you suddenly so on board with this trip?
他这一生被我保护成温室里的花朵
I've sheltered him for too long.
他需要有值得写出来的真实冒险
He needs something real that he can write about.
带他去最龙蛇混杂的酒吧
Take him to the seediest bars,
把他介绍给骗徒
introduce him to con men.
让他体会到危险
Let him taste danger.
但别让他吃虾他一吃虾眼皮就会肿
But not shrimp, because it makes his eyelid feel funny.
先生不许你戴
No, senor!
我绝不会让这个恶习传承下来
The cycle ends here!
你不是吧你就这么卖♥♥我求荣吗
Really? You just sold me out for a job?
亲爱的他想要个冒险家
Honey, he wants a risk-taker.
如果我毁了你们俩男孩的旅行我多罪大恶极啊
How's it going to look if I squash your boys' trip?
什么男孩旅行这可是离开地球
Boys' trip?! We're leaving the planet!
你知道过山车最可怕的是什么吗
You know the scariest part of a roller coaster?
是坐整整一个月的过山车
It's a month of that!
老爸你不想去太空吗
Dad, you don't want to go to space?
我想去啊
No, I do.
我只是... 有点担心
I-I just -- I worry
这种等爸爸回家的经历会造成心理创伤...
that it might be too traumatic for you --
不会啊会是很值得跟孩子们说的故事
Oh, no, it'll be fun to tell the kids
他们的外公是个宇航员
their Pop-Pop is an astronaut.
爆爆[外公]很可能会是我此生最后发出的声音
Pop-Pop might be the last sound I make.
克莱尔如果不麻烦
Claire, if it's not too much trouble,
能请你帮我选好一张全家福照片吗
would you please, um, pick out a family photo for me to clutch
当我系绳断了无止尽在太空翻转时可以拿着