开心汉堡店

Bob's Burgers S06E09

Part 1 March 8, 2020, 6:58 p.m.

《开心汉堡店》第六季第九集
蚂蚁的姐妹情谊除虫害公♥司♥
[此处恶搞电影《牛仔裤的姐妹情谊》又译《牛仔裤的夏天》]
合家欢电视夜
Family TV night.
坐著不动吃著零食换著频道
Chippin' and sittin' and channel flippin'...
加起来是我们的全部长项了
it's everything we're good at.
还有风帆冲浪呢虽然从没试过
Also windsurfing. We never tried it,
但说不定我们会吓自己一跳
but I think we'd surprise ourselves.
我试过风帆冲浪
I tried windsurfing once.
这就是故事的全部
That's the whole story.
我超爱这个广♥告♥
I love this commercial.
大家别说话
Everyone, shh.
我是沙发女王
I'm the Sofa Queen,
我是来处理你们难看的家具的
and I'm here to banish your ugly furniture.
这孩子的卧室家具冒犯到我了
This child's bedroom set offends me.
给他换张床
Off with his bed.
一眨眼的功夫他就有了一张新床
Boom! Just like that, he's got a new bed.
蠢人才用那样的蒲团
That's a futon fit for a fool.
我要把它换成沙发
I'm gonna replace it, but with a couch,
因为正常的成年人都不会用蒲团
because normal adults do not own futons.
琳你是在背广♥告♥台词吗
Lin? Are you mouthing along with the commercial?
我命令我的臣民们
I command my subjects
到沙发女王家具城逛逛
to visit the Sofa Queen Furniture Outlet.
地址是沼泽港9号♥路
Off Route 9 in Bog Harbor.
我太爱沙发女王了
I love the Sofa Queen.
她的沙发又结实又好看
Her sofas are firm but they're fair.
-老爸 -怎么了
- Dad? - Yeah?
刚好我们聊到了沙发的话题
While we're on the subject of couches,
也许这是个你和老妈
maybe it would be a good time
谈一谈的好时机
for you and Mom to have, you know, the talk?
她什么意思谈什么
What's she mean? What talk?
是关于老妈的钱包有多乱吗
Is this about how messy Mom's purse has been?
我和大家一样喜欢揉成一团的收银条
I love balled-up receipts as much as the next guy,
-可拜托 -不是这事儿吉恩
- but come on! - No, Gene.
琳你真的很喜欢沙发女王对吗
Lin, you really love the Sofa Queen, right?
也许我们该抽空去她店里看看
Maybe we should go to her store sometime.
有意思
Fun.
一定很有意思
That would be fun.
还有呢老爸
And...? Dad...?
既然去了我们可以顺便买♥♥个新的沙发
and while we're there, maybe we could get a new couch.
什么
What?!
不鲍鲍不我爱我们的沙发
No, Bobby, no. I love our couch.
它是我们家的一员不行绝对不行
It's family. No, no, absolutely not. No.
我们是一家人但我们却坐在地板上
We're family. And we're sitting on the floor.
沙发的气味真不好闻琳
The couch smells really bad, Lin.
那是回忆的味道
It smells like memories.
回忆中的麝香味
Memory musk.
闻起来像是所有我们撒在上面的食物
It smells like if all the food we've spilled on it
和所有在上面坐过的屁♥股♥打了一仗
had a war with all the butts that sat on it.
我闻到的大部分是老爸的屁♥股♥
I'm mostly getting Dad.
沙发里的填充物都结块了
The stuffing in the cushions is all lumpy.
你的屁♥股♥还都结块了呢老兄
Well your cushions are pretty lumpy, too, mister.
我喜欢你的块块来
I love your lumps. Come on,
让我来嘛让我
let me t... Come on, let me t...
老妈沙发上有块湿湿的地方
Mom, there's a damp spot on the couch
就从来没干过
that somehow never dries.
从来没有一直都在
Ever! It's always there!
是啊好神奇好特别
Yeah, like magic. It's special.
我们和这张沙发可是很有渊源的
We have a history with this couch.
吉恩第一次吐就在这沙发上记得吗
Gene had his first throw up on it, 'member?
我记得是发生在
I remember that happening
某个无边泳池里但无所谓了
in an infinity pool, but whatever.
蒂娜在沙发扶手上磨牙记得吗
Tina teethed on the armrest. Remember that?
是的我们还给儿科医生打电♥话♥
Yeah, we called the pediatrician to see
问他沙发泡沫对婴儿好不好
if couch foam was okay for babies.
他说不好
He said no.
他是这么说的
He did.
他说她本可能因为被噎住而丧命
He said she could've choked and died.
还有你露易丝你的沙发堡垒
And you, Louise, with your couch forts.
发射
Fire!
老妈我们懂
Mom, we get it.
沙发就是样东西
The couch is just a thing.
东西旧了就该扔掉
And when things are old, you get rid of 'em.
就像图书馆
Like libraries.
好吧我想最公平的办法
Okay, I think the fairest way to do this
就是投票了
is to put it to a vote.
赞同换沙发的人请举手
Everyone in favor of replacing the couch raise your hand.
貌似是三比二啊鲍勃
Looks like it's three to two, Bob.
老妈说得对露易丝
Mom's right, Louise.
沙发也是家人
The couch is family.
你也同意吉恩真的吗
You too, Gene? Seriously?
你们这是让我投票反对老妈吗
You're asking me to vote against Mom?
我可知道给我的面包涂满黄油的是谁
I know where my butter's breaded.
真是我的好孩子
That's my boy.
来和妈妈一起坐
Come up on the couch with Mama.
-快 -不要
- Come on. - No!
我想我得去拿些零食吃
I think I'm gonna get some snacks.
老爸你喜欢零食对吗
Dad, you like snacks, right?
你吃零食的吧
You snack, huh?
当然偶尔吃吃
Sure, sometimes.
你拉我♥干♥什么
Why are you pulling me?
刚才是怎么回事老爸
What happened out there, Dad?
你想啥呢
Where-where were you?
露易丝我尽力了
Louise, I tried.
还不够
Not hard enough.
我们早晚有一天会扔掉那沙发的
Look, we'll get rid of the couch someday.
怎么扔老妈永远不会放弃的
How? Mom's never gonna give it up.
我不知道也许它会出点什么问题
I don't know, maybe something will happen to it.
你是真的要吃零食吗
Were you serious about the snacks?
如果你真想吃我还瞒著吉恩
'Cause I hid some fudge pretzels from Gene,
藏了些椒盐软糖糕
if you're interested.
往回倒一点你说它会出问题
Back up. What-what do you mean,
是什么意思
something will happen to it?
我不知道
I don't know.
也许沙发会出点什么问题
Maybe something will happen to the couch
致使你老妈都想扔掉它
that'll make even your mom want to get rid of it.
有道理
Right.
-沙发意外每天都在发生 -当然
- Accidents happen to couches every day. - Sure.
一定是那样的
I bet that's true.
找到了吉恩给吃掉了
Found 'em. Gene got to 'em.
他还留了张纸条你输啦
And he left a note. "Checkmate."
哎唷我这是在干什么
Oops! What am I doing?
哎唷我还没停手
Oops, I keep doing it.
住手
Stop.
好耶合家欢电视夜
Yay, family TV night!
这是我们每天都干的事
Why do we call it family TV night
干嘛还要叫它合家欢电视夜
if we do it every night?
露易丝你确定不想
Louise, you sure you don't want
和妈妈一起坐沙发吗
to join your mom over here on the couch?
我就算了
Uh, pass.
好吧那我的地方就大了
Fine. More couch for me.
吉恩蒂娜你们在哪
Gene! Tina! Where are you?
快上来孩子们
Get in on this, babies.
第一个坐到沙发上的人可以选节目哦
First one on the couch gets to pick the show.
你这女人可真会做交易
You drive a hard bargain, woman.
我要看需要家长指导的那种
I want something with adult situations
成人题材也行
but I'd settle for mature themes.
坐坐坐坐坐坐
Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.
天呐
Oh, my God!
哎呀
Oh, my word!
-天呐 -沙发
- Oh, my God! - Couch?
沙发说话啊